The Atlantic

Letters: What’s In a Name?

Readers discuss what it means to adopt a spouse’s last name—or not.
Source: Brendan McDermid / Reuters

Why Don’t More Men Take Their Wives’ Last Names?

In July, Caroline Kitchener wrote about a dilemma many couples face in the run-up to marriage: What is to be done about the last name?


I am one of the statistically insignificant men who did what the article discussed: When we married seven years ago, my wife kept her last name and I took it. Our decision was based on the fact that my wife was well-established in business and did not want to change her name, while I put a premium on family unity and our all having the same last name. So I made the switch.

Although I would do it again, I have to admit it was a very jarring event. I can really relate to women who go through this and have identity issues, because that is what I felt. Plus, the paperwork!

I liked how your article points out that there is really nothing that can be done in this area that is perfectly fair and hassle-free. Even a default where each partner keeps their own last name creates issues down the road.

Having thought about this a bit, and being the

You’re reading a preview, subscribe to read more.

More from The Atlantic

The Atlantic4 min read
Your Phone Has Nothing on AM Radio
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. There is little love lost between Senator Ted Cruz and Representative Rashida Tlaib. She has called him a “dumbass” for his opposition to the Paris Climate Agre
The Atlantic5 min read
The Strangest Job in the World
This is an edition of the Books Briefing, our editors’ weekly guide to the best in books. Sign up for it here. The role of first lady couldn’t be stranger. You attain the position almost by accident, simply by virtue of being married to the president
The Atlantic8 min readAmerican Government
The Most Consequential Recent First Lady
This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here. The most consequential first lady of modern times was Melania Trump. I know, I know. We are supposed to believe it was Hillary Clinton, with her unbaked cookies

Related Books & Audiobooks