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    Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
    Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
    Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
    Audiobook11 hours

    Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

    Written by Tristan Taormino

    Narrated by Jo Anna Perrin

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men, Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships-from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateSep 30, 2011
    ISBN9781452674636
    Author

    Tristan Taormino

    Tristan Taormino is the editor of On Our Backs and a columnist for the Village Voice, Taboo, Penthouse.com, Spectator, and The Loop. She is the author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, and directed, produced, and starred in two videos based on the book. She is the editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series, for which she has edited seven volumes. Taormino has appeared on the Howard Stern Show, Loveline, HBO's Real Sex, MTV, and the Discovery Channel. She teaches workshops and lectures on sex nationwide. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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    Reviews for Opening Up

    4/5

    106 ratings15 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Practical. So so practical. In all aspects. I tend to be more type B so hearing something that is more type A gives me at least a standard to shoot for, and I think this is a great type A standard of suggestions and guidance. Hard truths can be a sign of good advice and this book has plenty. Highly recommend.
    • 4/5
      This was a good book. I had a slight problem with this audiobook in that one of the chapters was cut off prematurely. This book has good advice though and I like how she interviewed many polyamorous people. This book was very informative.
    • 4/5
      Taormino provides a much-needed update to the subject. Unlike other authors who have tackled the subject of open relationships, Taormino makes the argument that polyamory can be non-sexual, and such relationships are as valid and important as those with a sexual component.

      Clearly written without being dogmatic, instructive without being preachy, Taormino's book could possibly topple "The Ethical Slut" from its place as the definitive book on open relationships. Read it if you're curious, currently practicing, or just intrigued by the many and varied ways that human beings relate to each other.
    • 4/5
      This is a easy book to read which makes a world of difference when you are reading non-fiction. It is very informative.
    • 4/5
      SO very helpful. Highly recommend it! Practical and compassionate. It helped me get out of so much fear and self judgement and into how to make my relationship for all of the parties involved!
    • 3/5
      If one is looking for a comprehensive textbook about polyamory, this is a good find. It cites all the polyamory classics, plus others, like Rosenberg's _Nonviolent Communication_, that were formative for my thinking about polyamory and open relationships. However, if you're looking for something more engaging, emotionally and intellectually challenging, or personally written, you should check out _The Ethical Slut_, _Radical Honesty_ and definitely _Nonviolent Communication_ (it's not about polyamory, but the process and principles of NVC are incredibly valuable for learning how to be clear in one's thinking and communication, essential skills for the polyamorous). Taormino's writing style is dry and descriptive, often prescriptive. The chapters are well outlined and cover each relevant topic.
    • 4/5
      I found out about this book in a post by my friend Ian MacKenzie, "Love Will Be the Death of Us."I've read a few other books on polyamory, but this one definitely feels the most useful. Taormino paints the picture that non-monogamy can be anything other than monogamy. The point is that it's outside of the box, for us do define. Through a multitude of case studies, the reader learns of numerous creative solutions people have come up with for organizing relationships in their lives. I think it could be useful even to the conservative reader, as it's important to realize the structures we [often subconsciously] consent to in our relationships.I actually just came across a post that better summarizes the subject than I could, "The Coffee Break Primer on Polyamory" by Adam Powers.Taormino wraps up the book by going in depth about safe sex, legal agreements, and child rearing. Although some readers might be tempted to skip over these more technical sections, they get into the details of how to really make a relationship work, of any sort.I will say that I wasn't very into the writing style of this book. It felt dry and detached. I don't feel as though I got to connect with the author at all. But the information is of a quality and accessibility that I'm willing to overlook this.
    • 4/5
      Practical and sympathetic book on a range of ways of doing non-monogamy. Easy to read, lots of anecdotes from real people. Possibly slightly too much focus on America and BDSM for some people's tastes.
    • 5/5
      Despite being the first text I've read cover-to-cover on the subject of non-monogamy and polyamorous relationships, I nevertheless believe Opening Up to be one of the best. I have asked friends as well as professionals in the field for recommendations and of the texts I've attempted, Tristan's is the most compelling, fresh, relevant and broad without losing focus, while remaining true to her readership and staying wholly in the realm of light reading (well, light adult reading at any rate). I specifically enjoyed her examples of the Poly Mission Statement and the way she integrated her MANY pertinent diverse examples. Additionally, in the glossary to Opening Up, Tristan provides a decent overview of the participants and data gathered, without bogging the reader down with statistical analyses. All said, a highly enjoyable read, especially for a serious non-fictional subject.
    • 5/5
      An excellent, approachable guide to non-monogamy, incorporating a variety of models. Includes interviews with diverse individuals in open relationships, so the reader gets to hear about the joys and challenges of non-monogamy straight from those who are living the life. Whenever I mention Opening Up to friends, they assume it's sleazy. It's not. This book is written in an entertaining and straightforward fashion, but it's not a "how to get a bunch of people into bed" book. It's about creating a sustainable style of open relationship through negotiation, transparency, and understanding. Opening Up speaks across a broad spectrum. Whether you're into BDSM or you're an asexual romantic (or both), your needs are addressed in this book.I recommend Opening Up highly to anyone. Even if you never have any intention of living non-monogamously, do read Opening Up. There's something in this book for everyone.
    • 4/5
      Opening Up is a primer on polyamorous relationships that describes why lifelong monogamy is an untenable arrangement for some, elucidates the main alternatives that have arisen in the western world in the past sixty or so years, and provides practical advice for non-monogamous people on issues like dealing with jealousy, juggling schedules, and raising children. It is best suited for people considering incorporating polyamory into their lives, or as a means of soothing the nerves of worried friends, relatives, and partners. Taormino's presentation is self-helpy but serviceable. She is inordinately fond of bullet points. Her prose is workmanlike and (apart from the delightfully icky turn of phrase "fluid-bonded") as bland as oatmeal, which is precisely what you want in a book like this. The most helpful aspects are tips on maintaining open lines of communication. (Further evidence that polyamory is a plot invented by women to trick men into talking about their feelings all the time.) The least helpful are the anecdotes from people in open relationships that conclude every chapter. These tend to be uniformly upbeat and therefore not very informative.If you are already in an open relationship, this book will not tell you anything you don't already know, but it's still helpful to have things written down clearly in one place. In creating this guide, Taormino has done a service for many people who are trying to be honest and realistic about their sexual and emotional lives.
    • 4/5
      Good stuff, goes from beginner to hxc. I wonder when we're going to get to the point where books about open relationships don't have to have four or five beginning chapters that justify their motivations to exist in the first place.
    • 5/5
      Opening Up is by far the best book about open relationships written in the past 10 years. (and I've read a lot of them.) It covers different models of nonmonogamy- everything from polyfidelity to swinging- and is informative and nonjudgmental. I'd recommend this to people new to the lifestyle and people just looking for new perspectives.
    • 1/5
      My experience with this book differs so greatly from the other reviews that I wonder if I was sent the correct book. I wanted to like this book, I really did, even though I've never been able to finish one of Ms. Taormino's columns in the Village Voice.The writing style was so simplistic as to render it boring, and altogether, the book read like a series of pamphlets sewn together into a book. Taormino focuses on the excrutiating, boring details of how exactly to have every kind of open relationship, while skimping on the actual interesting stories of the people she interviewed.Most of the studies that she cites are old and the samples are almost all limited. There was also a shock when I found out that she cites Wikipedia. I know that this isn't a scholarly work, but I learned in seventh grade that an encyclopedia is not an acceptable source. And why pay $16.95 for something you can get for free? Just read the Wiki article on "Swinging."If you're seriously interested in having an open relationship, my advice is to skip this book and read some of the more interesting-sounding ones that Taormino cites, such as "The Myth of Monogamy," "Beyond Monogamy," and anything by Raven Kaldera.
    • 5/5
      This is absolutely the best book on open relationships or polyamory I've read (and I've read quite a few; check the "polyamory" tag in my catalog). Taormino is clearly did a good deal of research--her sources section alone is outstanding--and her writing style is at once friendly and intelligent, keeping you reading while presenting a wealth of information. I love how the book is structured. Each chapter is relatively short, covering a specific type of relationship structure or a certain issue. She offers bulleted lists of reasons a particular type of relationship might be right for you; covers the special perils to watch out for in each type of relationship, with helpful advice; and ends each chapter with a profile of a person, couple, or group whose experience illustrates the theme of the chapter. Taormino's writing shows sensitivity and an open perspective toward all types of nonmonogamy and toward those who choose monogamy for themselves, as well. This is the book that you should read if you are considering any form of nonmonogamy, and it is also the book you should give to anyone who needs help understanding your relationship choices.