Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
Written by Lori Gottlieb
Narrated by Mia Barron
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven't found The One just yet. Surely he'll come along, right?
But what if he doesn't? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn't realize it?
Suddenly finding herself forty and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough.
Looking at her friends' happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner. Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, "Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb's probably got a point," to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, "Lori Gottlieb didn't want to take her mother's advice to be less picky, but now that she's turned forty, she wonders if her mother is right." Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their "type"?
That's where Marry Him comes in.
By looking at everything from culture to biology, in Marry Him Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face--how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate. Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy--as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their twenties to their sixties.
Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape, and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.
Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which has sold over one million copies and is currently being adapted as a television series. In addition to her clinical practice, she is co-host of the popular “Dear Therapists” podcast and writes The Atlantic’s “Dear Therapist” advice column. She is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR’s “Fresh Air” and her TED Talk was one of the Top 10 Most Watched of the Year. She is the creator of the Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Workbook: A Toolkit for Editing Your Story and Changing Your Life and the Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Journal: 52 Weekly Sessions to Transform Your Life. Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her on Instagram @lorigottlieb_author and Twitter @LoriGottlieb1.
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Reviews for Marry Him
113 ratings16 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Wish I’d gotten this sooner! Insightful, enlightening, and changed my perspective. Will be giving this to my sons and nieces.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This can help reset the brain of a maximizer. Thank you!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A funny and insightful examination of current dating practices and how to know when marriage is a good option. The author allows the reader into her life and situation, becoming very vulnerable and open about the mistakes she has made in the past. The differences in attitudes between men and women when it comes to dating, love and marriage are closely analyzed. The author posits the idea that many women have unrealistic expectations of what a husband ought to be like. They spend to much time looking for their mythical "ideal" man and miss out having a real, meaningful relationship. An enjoyable and thought-provoking read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I still believe you can manifest your man ? love is such an interesting thing. It now is a mixture of the 3D practicality of life and the 5D of spiritual connection. I love how the book has examples of what others are doing and the outcome of their dating lives. Overall it was a great listen from a different perspective ❤️
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5Utter waste of time, very repetitive script, some revolting ideas (ie arranged marriages put in a romantic light when theirvast majority are abusive)... it was a surprise to see how badly i disliked the book as the author seemed interesting in an interview I heard. Nobody lives like the people described in the book, each and ever one seem to have at least 400 acquaintances. Lacking any values or any real insight, I disliked it profoundly
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Amazing, eye opening and life changing. One of my favorites!!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very informative and assist in creating a new perspective that I would have never thought of without this book.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It's a good book. But k think she repeated herself some times or maybe not repeated but just jumping around and then coming back to her idea.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book change my life ! I enjoyed every moment!!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very practical and enlightening perspectives on figuring out what actually matters when finding a partner!
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Started wildly sexiest and saying so crazy sh*t. Stuck with it because I thought it was amusing to laugh that this lady honestly believed this stuff. She sounded so bitter that she decided to have a kid on her own (sperm donor). At the end it got better, talked more about choosing a partner that has the same values as you and learning how to deal with disagreements reasonably. I don’t think I would recommend it to anyone but it did make me appreciate my fiancé more.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I could not have loved this book any more!! It’s the hilarious slap in the face truth that many women (including myself) need when it comes to men and finding “The One”. I loved everything about it. It’s so spot on in describing how I, and I’m sure many other women like me, think when it comes to desiring our perfect match that we’ve dreamed up in our head. It’s laugh out loud funny and it came to me at just the right time. I needed to hear everything Lori had to say so thank you!
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5This book is so outdated. This lady works to increase women’s anxiety by writing this opinionated book. There is no hard science here, or even good advice.
Most of the book focuses on how shallow, unrealistic and childish women are but not on how shallow, unrealistic and childish many men are.
Yes, everyone should look for reliability, maturity, kindness and sensitivity-women and men, but this makes it sound like all men are looking for this, no women are.
The message in this book would be much more acceptable if it was for both genders.
I agree that sometimes we ignore the opportunities right in front of us, and go looking for something in the entire world only to find ourselves empty handed. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finally! A book that gives a voice to pragmatic romance!A wonderful peek into contemporary dating practices and the issues women face when they can't settle (or realize they might have to) until it's slim pickings. As a feminist, it's hard not to bristle at the title. After all, why should everyone marry? Why should we have to settle? But if you read far enough, you'll see that the author never claims to present a solution to anyone other than women like herself: women who want to get married and (probably) have children. If those things are important to you, it is imperative you read this book.As our culture has shifted toward a place where we prioritize self-actualization above all else, it's easy to approach finding a mate (and marriage) as a tool to better yourself. The problem is this can make us feel entitled at precisely the time we should be the most humble. Only when we can accurately assess our needs and the baggage and flaws we bring to the table can we find the absolute best mate for long-term happiness. This book will get you in the right frame of mind to find real joy with someone.
2 people found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5skimmed this one, basically a call to women to look beyond the superficial and realize the imperfections in all humans and human relationships
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Timely and wise, a book abour relationships today, and what happens when you leave it too late... I know a lot of women like those Lori Gottleib describes and my heart goes out to them, and I'm pleased to be able to offer something that might get them on to a different track.