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    Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy
    Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy
    Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy
    Audiobook3 hours

    Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy

    Written by Lemony Snicket

    Narrated by Lemony Snicket

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

    As the three Baudelaire orphans warily approach their new home Prufrock Preparatory School, they can't help but notice the enormous stone arch bearing the school's motto Memento Mori or ""Remember you will die.""

    This is not a cheerful greeting and certainly marks an inauspicious beginning to a very bleak story just as we have come to expect from Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, the deliciously morbid set of books that began with The Bad Beginning and only got worse.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins
    Release dateSep 21, 2004
    ISBN9780060793432
    Series of Unfortunate Events #5: The Austere Academy
    Author

    Lemony Snicket

    Lemony Snicket had an unusual education, which may or may not explain his ability to evade capture. He is the author of the 13 volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events, several picture books including The Dark, and the books collectively titled All The Wrong Questions.

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    Reviews for Series of Unfortunate Events #5

    4/5

    2,189 ratings67 reviews

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    • 3/5
      The Baudelaire orphans are dumped at a boarding school. Given that they are each very intelligent, inquisitive children, one might expect this book to be a refreshing change from their usually miserable lives. But alas, their teachers force them to memorize pointless things and the headmaster requires their attendance at his nightly six hour violin recitals. And then Count Olaf shows up!

      The one glimmer of goodness in this soup of despair is that for the first time, the Baudelaires make friends.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      This time, it didn't take me that long to figure out Count Olaf's plan. I'm guessing it becomes a little repetitive at some point and this was it for me.

      But don't get me wrong, I'm still in love with the series and can't wait to read about new adventures in the next book.
    • 5/5
      YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!This book introduces us to the Quagmire triplets, Isadora and Duncan, who befriend our dear Baudelaires at Prufrock Prep, where they are sent by Mr. Poe, and which is justa s awful as everywhere else. At Prufrock, they live in the orphans shack, which is infested with crabs. Sunny is made to do secretarial work. Klaus is forced to measure things. Violet must remember pointless stories. They do a great deal of running.And there is, as always, Count Olaf, with another heinous plot!Excellent, and possibly my favorite of the series (tied with the Ersatz Elevator.
    • 5/5
      This book was very interesting and it was a great way to introduce new characters
    • 4/5
      I really like the triplets on this story thy seemed very nice
    • 4/5
      audio book is a great vacation "read" for the whole family
    • 5/5
      (\__/)
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      /. . \
      0—0. Loved it so good amazing awesome
    • 5/5
      It was just good to listen to I recommend this book
    • 1/5
      Horrid narration. I had to keep adjusting my volume. It’s impossible to listen to this guy
    • 5/5
      I really enjoy the series of the Baudelaire children! My mind is always predicting what will happen next!
    • 4/5
      I really enjoy reading about the Beaudelaire orphans. Each of the books is a nice, fast read, but with more to them than many "kids" books. I'm not sure how old I would want my daughter to be before reading these books because they can be a little dark and disturbing. I suppose I'll see when she begins to express an interest and go from there.
    • 3/5
      These stories are starting to feel a touch stale. It would be nice for some of the tertiary adults believed the children every once in a while.
    • 4/5
      In this installment of their grim adventures, the Baudelaire orphans find themselves enrolled in Prufrock Prep School under the questionable protection of Vice Principal Nero. Despite the assurances of the adults in their life, Violet, Klaus and Sunny do not believe they are safe in the austere academy. Their worst fears are confirmed when a strangely familiar man appears as their new gym teacher. Clearly, this man is Count Olaf, but no one will believe them. What can the Count's dastardly plan be this time? Together with the help of their new friends, the Baudelaires are on a mission to find out.
    • 4/5
      One of my favorites in the series so far along with The Wide Window, this book worked extremely well. Of course it was still ridiculous and every adult in the book was infuriating, but that's the point. The Quagmire triplets were a charming addition to the cast, and Carmelita Spats was given far to little attention.The story is picking up a more serial feel, adding to the main story arc rather than setting up individual mysteries in each installment. This speeds up the pace from book to book, if that makes any sense. I dunno, it's past my bedtime.
    • 4/5
      I liked the introduction of some new allies for the Baudelaire children in this story. The author does a great job of finding ways to keep this series coherent without being too repetitive. This book also has more of a cliffhanger ending than the others, and just keeps me wanting to read more. The wordplay is witty and excellent as always, with the doom and gloom of Latin mottoes thrown in for fun.
    • 4/5
      ugh. this is the worst abuse so far for these kids. as usual, a cozy read even tho the villain are so annoying.
    • 5/5
      Amazing! So much suspense and Coach genesis. Wow amazing very
    • 5/5
      I love this series so much! I just hoped that the narrator would be the same guy in the netflix series ?
    • 1/5
      This book has very bad quality and when it says free trial why do you have to pay for the FREE trial. The person who was reading the book in the sample didn't even finish chapter 1 ?
    • 3/5
      In The Austere Academy, once again, the Baudelaire children are miserable. Mr Poe has apparently run out of potential family members, instead sending the children to Prufrock Preparatory - a boarding school. Considering Mr Poe explains how he's super jealous - I'm getting the feeling this was more about Mr Poe's childhood dreams than looking after the children. The children are concerned but Mr Poe assures them not to worry, Prufrock Prep has a super advanced computer that will stop Count Olaf from every getting in. How can a computer stop a person you ask? It's super advanced. Well then. Apparently they should've invested in the super, super advanced model. Because who should appear? Seriously you'll never guess. Count Olaf! This time, he's in disguise as a world class gym teacher, complete with a turban (and seriously, has he been consorting, a word here that means plotting evil with other evildoers, with Quirrelmort?) and some high top running shoes. But the school is supposed to be safe even if it looks like a graveyard and comes with a real uplifting motto - "Remember You Will Die". It only has punishments for tardiness to class (which will see your hands tied behind your back during meals), tardiness to mealtimes (which will leave you drinking without a cup) and entering the administrative building (which will leave you eating without utensils). Sunny is dismayed to find that she'll never have silverware - Vice Principal Nero, who believes himself to be a world class violinist (and is so very wrong), has hired her to be his secretary and she'll be required to enter the administrative building every day. Then they're all dismayed when they find out where they get to stay. Their new home is the designated, Orphan Shack, complete with pinching crabs, bales of hay, some weird type of fungus that lives on the roof and drips and bright green walls with pink hearts. But it's okay. It's not all bad because this time - they make friends! Friends with a history just as sad and terrible as their own. The Quagmire triplets - are also sad lonely orphans whose parents died in a fire and left them a large fortune. They have the Baudelaire's beat though - they lost their parents and their triplet, Quigley - leaving only Isadora and Duncan to carry on alone, forever being mistaken as twins. Duncan and Isadora, like the Baudelaire's have their own hobbies. Duncan wants to be a journalist and Isadora a poet. Both carry around reporter style notepads in order to record everything that is of importance for them. Their new friends would never dream of letting them face Count Olaf on their own, so the whole gang pitches in to find out what his new plan is and how they can foil it. As you can probably guess, they don't succeed. The plan this time is to make the children run endless laps at night for weeks until they're too tired to pay attention in this classes/job. When they start to fail and become the worst students in the school, Vice Principal Nero informs them that they'll be taking a test to see if they have learnt anything and will expel/fire them if they fail. The Quagmire triplets believe one should know thy enemy and while the Baudelaire's have been occupied running laps, they spend time in the library scouring old newspapers for any information on Count Olaf and his gang. They mention that they find something out but with the clock ticking they brush it aside so as to come up with a plan to pass the tests.They end up coming up with a plan for the Quagmire triplets to take their place running laps and for the Baudelaire's to study everything they need to know from the Quagmire triplet's reporter notepads.But the Quagmire Triplets get caught up with helping and fall into Count Olaf's clutches themselves. I mean, it's not a terrible idea to abduct them. They also have a huge fortune. But they don't have the background with him yet so Count Olaf has a way better chance of getting his plan to succeed.And so the Baudelaire's last see the Quagmire triplets being forced into a car before Count Olaf spirits them away. But they manage to tell the Baudelaire's one last thing - VFD. Which means absolutely nothing to them and they have no idea where to start looking. So the children are expelled, miserable and left with a mystery - what do the letters VFD stand for and why are they so important?3 stars.
    • 2/5
      Finally, a new pair of good guy characters without the same tired character traits. I liked the twins who were actually triplets minus one. The rest of the characters were annoying. The story was long and reminiscent of the last story in the series. The most unfortunate thing that I've realized about this series is that there are 13 of these, all bestsellers, and I've only enjoyed one of them so far. That's not a great success rate. I keep reading however, though I don't expect it to get any better. Call it a penchant for misery.
    • 5/5
      This one made my legs sore.
    • 5/5
      It's been a long time since I've read this series, so writing a review so many years past is perhaps a bit unfair, but I did absolutely love reading this books when they came out. The dark sense of humor appealed to me, as did the motley cast of characters.
    • 4/5
      This time around the Baudelaire's go to a horrible prep school and of course Count Olaf finds a way to wiggle his way in to steal the orphans. They made friends this time with two other orphans but of course their happiness is short lived. Definitely did not see Count Olaf's plan this time around. Love the series and look forward to reading the next book.
    • 4/5
      I quite enjoyed this book, not only because of the triplets and the pleasant vibe they added to the miserable setting but also because of the possibility of a more complicated plot aka “V.F.D” which adds a good element of mystery.
    • 3/5
      The over the top suffering of the Baudelaires continues.
    • 5/5
      Another great book in this series. I really adore Isadora and Duncan so I hope they have a happy ending, but knowing this series I'm sure they don't. Solid plot line, solid characters. I would recommend this book. 5 out of 5 stars.
    • 3/5
      The misadventures of the Baudelaires continue. Here, they are shipped off to boarding school; where they are forced to live in a shack infested by crabs and fungus.
      However, they make friends with the two Quagmire Triplets (one of them died in a fire), and things look like they might not be quite so despairing after all, even if the school is boring and pointless...
      But then, Count Olaf shows up the the guise of a gym teacher...

      One of the funniest entries into this series so far.

    • 4/5
      Certainly not my favorite novel in the Series of Unfortunate Events, but I do really love the Quagmires, and we're finally starting to get deeper into the mystery of VFD!The biggest problem I have with this book is the SORE. Why didn't the Baudelaires just...not go? It might've at least stalled Coach Ghengis for a while...
    • 4/5
      And now the shape of a plot starts to kick in! I'm quite certain I haven't read this one before, so now I'm well into new material.