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    Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home
    Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home
    Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home
    Audiobook8 hours

    Mennonite in a Little Black Dress: A Memoir of Going Home

    Written by Rhonda Janzen

    Narrated by Hillary Huber

    3.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    A hilarious and moving memoir in the spirit of Anne Lamott and Nora Ephron about a woman who returns home to her Mennonite family after a personal crisis.The same week her husband of 15 years ditches her for a guy he met on Gay.com, a partially inebriated teenage driver smacks her VW Beetle head-on. Marriage over, body bruised, life upside-down, Rhoda does what any sensible 43-year-old would do: She goes home.But hers is not just any home. It's a Mennonite home, the scene of her painfully uncool childhood and the bosom of her family: handsome but grouchy Dad, plain but cheerful Mom. Drinking, smoking, and slumber parties are nixed; potlucks, prune soup, and public prayer are embraced. Having long ago left the faith behind, Rhoda is surprised when the conservative community welcomes her back with open arms-and offbeat advice. She discovers that this safe, sheltered world is the perfect place to come to terms with her failed marriage and the choices that both freed and entrapped her.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHighbridge Company
    Release dateOct 13, 2009
    ISBN9781598879087

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    Reviews for Mennonite in a Little Black Dress

    3.5/5

    779 ratings126 reviews

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    • 5/5
      A fun read. Entertaining, charming, and appreciative of both the Mennonite and outside worlds.
    • 3/5
      Rhoda Janzen's memoir is a funny take on the life of a woman who grew up as a Mennonite, somewhat turned her back on it for school and love, and when she gets her heart broken she returns to the folds of her family. The author's relationship with her mother is hilarious. Her mother obviously has a great sense of humor, which is where the Janzen got it I'm sure. Her little trips back in time are funny, sad and in a lot of cases highly entertaining if not a little hard to believe....I enjoyed Mennonite in a little black dress and I would recommend it if you enjoy memoirs as it's a relatively fast read, except for the author's repeated use of big words that in some cases I couldn't even find the definition of when I looked them up. I realize she's has a PhD in English but it was almost like she was rubbing our noses (or maybe the people she grew up with) in the fact that she is now very highly educated. At first it was kind of fun, looking up and learning a new word, but when you have to do it a few times each page it gets to be a bit much, and was kind of a pain. Nine times out of ten there was a word that could have easily been used instead. I'm all for learning new things, and literature and writing are some of my favorite subjects, but it got to be a bit ridiculous after awhile. I think she may alienate some readers.With that said, it was still a good read and I did enjoy it. I haven't read that much for memoirs except for Jen Lancaster who is hilarious and Janzen book comes close to being just as funny.
    • 5/5
      I just finished one of the best memoirs I’ve ever read. In the vast sea of that genre, forget “Eat, Pray, Love“, the book group favorite memoir du jour. Instead, check out Rhoda Janzen’s “Mennonite In a Little Black Dress” and you’ll never look at a horse drawn buggy the same.Not that Rhoda Janzen’s Mennonite family rode around in a buggy – they would be driven off the road in her native California. Nor does she now, living right here in the Great Lakes state and teaching at Hope College. However, it was a serious automobile accident that sent her packing to see her parents. That, and the fact that her psycho husband left her for another man who he found on Gay.com.Janzen describes her Mennonite childhood with humor, if not fondness. Her hair “braided with neurotic precision, like Heidi on crack”, her homemade clothes (complete with strips of fabric to lengthen her pants) and the Shame-Based Lunches that smelled of the vinegar-based ingredients that all Germans love. Speaking of Mennonite food, who wouldn’t want a cute little Cotletten and Ketchup sandwich, with the little saltine cracker meatballs so endearing to Mennonites all over the world? Or, how about a nice pungent bowl of Borscht? For a hearty appetite, nothing but a plate of Warmer Kartoffelsalata (translation – hot potato salad) will do. (Incidentally, while reading this particular chapter, I kind of felt like I was at a Lutheran potluck in the church’s basement with the Schroeder, Schwartz and Krueger families. However, the thought that any associations that I have could relate to Mennonitism startled me, so I quickly put it out of my mind). Janzen, in her poetic and deadpan funny way, reminisces about her peculiar Mennonite childhood and the realization that she didn’t want to be part of that group anymore when she grew up. She describes her hilarious family in detail including her serious father, endearing non-religious sister and pious brothers (who did not leave the Mennonite faith). Her most detailed descriptions are saved for her quirky mother, whose quiet acceptance of all of her children, Mennonite or not, is heart-warming. However, it was her description of her husband that made me both angry and sad. Angry at him for being such a complete jerk and sad for her for taking it for so long. Despite the fact that she describes him as “brilliant but tortured”, I can’t help but think of him as “narcissistic but cruel”. That said, this is a minor quibble since Janzen has worked for so long to overcome her sadness and move on. The last guy she was dating before the book ended was a 27-year-old motorcycle-riding Mennonite. She’s my age, so the age difference kind of weirded me out. Then I figured that there were worse fates, so I moved on myself.In the meantime, I absolutely loved Janzen’s memoir, Shamed-Based Food and all. She’s the kind of person with whom I would like to sit and eat lunch, chit-chatting amiably about her Menno and worldly lives. She might even Google her name and find this blog saying, “Mein Gott! One of my biggest fans is on the other side of the state!” Just as long as she doesn’t study my grammar too carefully, we could be friends. I’m sure of it. Pass the saurkraut, please. Danke.
    • 4/5
      After her abusive, bipolar husband of fifteen years leaves her for a man named Bob, Rhoda suffers a severe car accident and decides to move back home to recover and piece her life together. What follows is a acquaintance with the oddities of the Mennonite community.With snarky humor and pointed ribbing, Rhoda walks us through her life as a Mennonite before she decide to go to college and leave her antiquated home town behind. Rhoda examines what benefits a Mennonite upbringing has as well as the many handicaps it has added to her life. I found this book an intimate glimpse into a very closed society and discovered much I could relate to regarding the difficulties of leaving home and the equally difficult proposition of coming back.
    • 4/5
      A fantastically quirky memoir by 40plus-year-old Rhoda Janzen. In the same week that her atheist bipolar husband of 15 years leaves her for a man on gay.com (and with a crippling mortgage) the author is the victim of a serious car accident. She returns to the warmth of her childhood Mennonite home during her physical and emotional healing processes. Aided by her mother's wise (but often quirky and hilarious) advice, Rhoda's take on her shattering experiences as she sorts through the wreckage of her life is both inspiring and admirable. Her journey through recognising her co-dependancy is a lesson in itself. This book is also an interesting (and often funny) insight into the Mennonite religion.
    • 3/5
      Chronic cynicism doesn’t appeal to me. A little of it humors me as cleverness. But pretty much non-stop? I see no value. Negative value, in fact. I didn’t enjoy it & didn’t benefit from it.
    • 4/5
      Funny short stories tied into one overall story. Quick read.
    • 1/5
      Gay.com doesn't exist and while I understand that it can be heartbreaking, traumatic, and/or frustrating to be left, it does not constitute abuse.
    • 5/5
      I don’t think I have ever read a better memoir! Rhoda Janzen is from a Mennonite family, but has never really truly agreed with things that they do or don’t do. Not completely anyway. So when she is old enough she leaves to pursue things that “normal” Mennonites wouldn’t, like a career in literature and teaching. She also marries a non-Mennonite man. Rhoda describes her life in such a way that she is not by any means disrespecting her Mennonite roots or other Mennonites, but she is not going along with everything they say either. She writes this book in a, this is just how it is, kind of way. It was a fantastic read which I couldn’t put down! I found myself agreeing with her on things and it is one of the few books I have read that actually had me smiling on the outside and laughing out loud while reading. She knows just how to put comedic twists on serious issues without sounding like she is making fun or them or disrespecting them. I also have never read a book where so much happens in it, I mean I know memoirs are like that, but this one went above what I thought would be in it. Rhoda’s Mother cracked me up too, being a woman who isn’t even trying to be funny, but is. If we could all be more like Rhoda and her Mom and have a “tell it like it is” way there would never be any question as to what we are thinking or wanting.I enjoyed the incite into the Mennonite ways too. It was very enlightening and educational to read about Rhoda’s life as a child growing up as Mennonite. I found myself thinking how uninformed I really was or how misinformed I was on the true meaning and beliefs of Mennonites. I enjoyed this book for many reasons and I admire the author who had the courage and took the time to write about her life and its many ups and downs. I took a lot away from this book and am very glad to have read it. I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone that needs a good laugh, smile, and a down to earth good read.5/5 Stars!!
    • 1/5
      Maybe I shouldn't have listened to this book. The humor didn't make me laugh; it made me cringe. I gave up about one third of the way through.
    • 1/5
      Excellent cure for insomnia. The author has nothing to say, but for some reason thought she could write a book nevertheless.
    • 3/5
      This was a fun, light read. Rhoda Janzen comes from a long line of devout Mennonites. The book opens after she has left the Mennonite community, and married a man with bipolar disorder and proclivity for emotional abuse who has just left her. She returns to her family to recover and regain her sense of self. It's a discussion of the quirks of Mennonite culture from the eyes of someone both in and outside of it. It is both flattering and critical - this isn't a hit piece against a religion, but nor is it a resounding endorsement. More like a resigned and love-filled discussion of the people who mean a lot to her, and how the Mennonite religion has figured so strongly into their lives and hers. She's a hilarious writer, although sometimes a little too precious - I think it was helpful that I was reading the book in short spurts instead of all at once, so that her humor didn't wear thin.
    • 4/5
      You can read this book in one of two ways: either as a straight memoir by an English professor who had several personal challenges including a bad car accident who went home to her Mennonite parents to recover and wrote this book. Very simplistic and fairly enjoyable, although as Mennonites are nowhere near as separated from modern society as the Amish, there are few interesting insights into a really different culture.

      Or you can read this as a thinly-disguised hate book against her ex-husband about whom she loses no opportunity to damn, slag, belittle, bad-mouth, deprecate and otherwise put-down the poor man. This is a much more enjoyable way to enjoy the book as she exercises all her considerable powers of expression to disguise her bitterness and malice with such sweet expressions of faint praise whilst never losing an opportunity to portray herself as the unwitting victim of this absolute cad. You have to feel sorry for the guy, it must have been hell getting into a verbal fight with such a clever user of words as a professional poet.

      Recommended for those who want to be, are about to be or actually are divorced from a terrible man (especially if he went off with someone he met on gay. com).
    • 4/5
      I thought this was a very witty and entertaining memoir. The author approaches her hardships with a sense of humor and honesty that is very realistic. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys memoirs. One of the quotes on the book was from the author of "Eat Pray Love", which is one of my favorite books of all time. I thought these 2 books were fairly similar, and if you enjoyed Gilbert's, you should enjoy this one as well.My only "complaint" is that the author used a lot of unfamiliar vocabulary. To be fair, she has a PhD in English, so she obviously knows more about the language than I do! But having to look up words in what was otherwise a fast read was a little distracting.Overall, a great and quick read.
    • 5/5
      Adult nonfiction; humor/memoir. Rhoda writes super funny commentary about her life as she undergoes a hysterectomy followed by a divorce to her bipolar husband (who leaves her for a man named Bob from Gay.com).
    • 4/5
      Memoir of a scholarly woman who has left her Mennonite background to pursue a life of educational/literary work. The first few chapters are some major surgeries that she has to have done, a hysterectomy and then after a bad car accident. We also learn that her husband left her for another man between the two happening. Then she tells us stories about moving out of the Midwest and back in with her parents who are still practicing Mennonites. This is where the book got better for me for the most part. Several times through out the book it seems that she is using it more as a way of catharsis to get over her husband and her failed marriage. But all in all a good book.
    • 3/5
      Digital audiobook narrated by Hillary Huber From the book jacket: Not long after Rhoda Janzen turned forty, her world turned upside-down. From the outside, it seemed that she had everything she wanted: a fulfilling job, a beautiful lakeside home, and a brilliant husband of fifteen years. But then her husband announced he was leaving her for Bob, a guy he met on Gay.com – and that same week a car accident left her with serious injuries. Under circumstances like these, what was a gal to do? Naturally, Rhoda crossed the country and returned to the land of Borscht, Zwiebach, and corduroy-covered Bibles. My reactionsI’m not sure what I was expecting. I hadn’t read the book jacket blurb. I had noticed a few Goodreads friends had read and enjoyed the book, and I’m sure one or more of those reviews is what landed this on my TBR list. In any case, I’m not sure how I feel about the book.One the one hand, Janzen is able to look at her life and the choices she made honestly and without (much) regret. She chalks things up to experience and moves on with life. She seems to genuinely like and cherish her family, though she has left behind the teachings and restrictions of her childhood faith. I particularly loved the relationship she had with her mother, who is cheerfully optimistic about everything. On the other hand, I’m not so sure Janzen was truly over her husband’s having left for a guy he met on Gay.com. Why do I think that? Mostly because Janzen mentions this fact every few pages. Reminds me of a woman I know who left her husband some 20 years ago and STILL manages to bring him up every time I run into her with a not-so-casual, “Oh, what do hear from X lately?” She may have divorced him, but she’s never LEFT him. In summary, I enjoyed much of it and found her sense of humor about her own situation refreshing, but I didn’t love it. Hillary Huber does a marvelous job voicing the audiobook. She set a good pace and has just the right tone for the self-deprecating humor, and to convey the tender love Janzen finds in her family home and community.
    • 3/5
      It could have ended a few chapters earlier (gets a little tedious at the end) but generally a good, healthy perspective on any upbringing that was stifled by religious legalism. An interesting contrast to Miriam Toews books which are also stemming from Mennonite rigidity. Different sects, perhaps. Comical and honest without being too heavy. A good read and plenty of connections with a Dutch Calvinist upbringing!

      After a second read:
      The first couple of chapters a re chick full of humour and witticism. They are the best. The book gets more "normal" after that, like a collection of short stories that puts the best ones first. There is a weird gimmick of polling the reader in the beginning pages that starts off like it will be a thing, but only happens a couple of times and then is picked up once near the very end (as if writer or editor wanted it throughout and the other didn't, and this was the compromise). All three polls could have been cut because they offer nothing to the story. Also the repetition of why her husband left her gets old. He left; in the end it doesn't matter why or for whom.
      The question is, should I read the follow-up book?
    • 4/5
      A non-fiction account of a woman who was raised Mennonite and returns to her parents house after a divorce and an accident. The most fascinating part of the story for me was that I learned that Mennonites are not all separatists. She went to public school and was raised in the modern world (though she was not allowed all the modern amenities that her peers were allowed.) The book itself was interesting and I did read the whole book. But I wouldn't actually recommend the book to others. It was just meh.
    • 4/5
      I listened to this book. It took me a while to "get" the tone of the narrator, which initially sounded so flippant that I wasn't taking the book seriously and nearly stopped during the first chapter. I'm glad I kept going. It's an interesting memoir of growing up in a Mennonite household, distancing herself from it as an adult, and returning after the breakup of her marriage. Coincidentally, I was reading Swing Low by Miriam Toews at the same time, and she too grew up in a small Mennonite community and left it. Though I suspect Miriam was much more of an outsider from girlhood, they both share a similar perspective on the positives and negatives of their upbringing.
    • 3/5
      All other reading was ditched, for this. There are a zillion holds on it at the library so it's read it or lose it.
    • 5/5
      Entertaining. Easy to breeze through.
    • 3/5
      This was an entertaining read. I am not a biography-lover, so it fell a little flat for me as the chapters wore on. However, the relationships were vibrant and well-played and the situations elicited a smile, smirk or grimace. I recommend this one.
    • 4/5
      Although this began funny, it isn't funny. It's serious, thought provoking, and very well written with bright spots of humor. You have to like someone who can laugh at themselves.

      There's something to be said about someone in an abusive relationship, that when the relationship ends isn't bitter or whining.....who takes it for what it was and moves on with their lives. I like that!

      My favorite quote from Rhoda's mother in regards to young male religious zealots: "Oh, they'll mellow over time. When you're young faith is often a matter of rules. What you should do and what you shouldn't do, that kind of thing. But as you get older you realize, that faith is really a matter of relationship---with God, with the people around you, and with members of your community."

      I had a difficult time putting it down, but I did have to go to sleep....and it kept my attention all the while playing FV, so I read more than I played.
    • 4/5
      3.5 starsRhoda Janzen grew up in a Mennonite community. She left, became an English professor, and married an atheist. After he leaves her for a man, Rhoda decides to head home to spend some time with her parents. I enjoyed this. It was quick to read, there were humourous bits, and I liked the tidbits of Mennonite life. Of course, I recognize some of it, as my Dad's family is Mennonite. It's always fun to see our last name in books (pretty much only ever a book with Mennonites in it!).
    • 3/5
      A memoir by a college teacher from a Mennonite family, who after having left the Mennonite faith returns home many years later, bodily and a little mentally broken after an abusive marriage. At times very funny, sometimes insightful, it gave me a new look at Mennonite customs and how strong family bonds can be. This could be made into a great movie.
    • 4/5
      I knew from the first sentence that I was in the hands of a writer who would not let me down. You know the feeling? You can relax and let her take you on her journey, wherever it leads. And this one is a lot of fun.

      As a memoir, I don't know if the writer learns the lessons she needs to learn from her ordeal. Along the way I found myself saying, "Oh come on, woman!" But she certainly entertains the reader.

      Petrea Burchard
      Camelot & Vine
    • 4/5
      I really enjoyed this book. It's sort of Anne Lamott like in the story telling, but Janzen has a unique style. She's a little more 'bookish' in her references, but it's all done in such a friendly casual conversation sort of way that it doesn't interrupt the reading. There were plenty of words or literary references that she made that I didn't have a clue about, but many were related to the Mennonite culture and she goes to great lengths to explain these intricacies.
      Very enjoyable, fairly informative, and over-all a fun read. I really like Janzen's writing style.
    • 4/5
      A fun and funny read, well written and illuminating. Not a tour-de-force, but a solid 3.5 stars. The reviews for this book confused me a great deal. First, people seem to think Janzen was mean to her family. While many memoirs or works of autobiographical fiction look at family unkindly, and that does not negatively impact my opinion of the work, this book does not. These portraits of family are downright sweet (other than her sister in law who seems like a nasty piece of work.) Janzen's acceptance of years of serous emotional abuse by her awful husband (whom she pathetically claims to still love)is difficult to read, but this is her story and what she has to say about how we raise girls to accept things without complaint is important. All in all I recommend this one.
    • 2/5
      Rhoda Janzen went through a difficult time with medical problems and a husband who left her for another guy. So she decided to go back home and spend time in the community of her youth with her parents and siblings. With her easy and informal writing style, she outlines her experiences from that brief time and reminisces about her childhood growing up as a Mennonite in Mennonite in a little black dress : a memoir of going home. She discusses food in depth and, in the extra bonus pages in my copy, there are recipes from Rhoda’s mom, what the author calls shame-based recipes. Food is a large part of the book, from school lunches to meals at events. The bonus section also has an interview with the author and questions that can be used in a book discussion group.Now I do have to say that the Mennonites she portrays have no resemblance to the Mennonites I knew as a child and in later years. (And I am not talking about the black-bumper Mennonites or those that live in communities that are close to the Amish.) They drive cars, use modern appliances and send their children to public schools at times. But they do not have televisions or stereos. Their churches do not have organs; in church, the only music was the voice. At home, the only music was traditional hymns; no modern gospel music! Their churches were plain structures. A Mennonite church in the area expanded several years ago and bought an unused UCC church. The stained glass was lovely; the organ magnificent. The congregation removed the organ but decided that they had an obligation to the city and its history to preserve the windows. It is a most unusual Mennonite church.As to dress, the women and girls do not wear slacks or shorts; some of the women do still wear the Mennonite dress, the bib over a dress made from a patterned cotton fabric. But many wear simple skirts and dresses such as I would wear. The young girls always have braids until a certain point where they put their hair up under a white mesh cap. (Janzen’s comment on this practice is a bit flip.) Men would wear slacks and, for farming, jeans; never shorts. For church, they wear a Mennonite jacket over a simple shirt; never with a tie. Button shirts were worn most of the time by the men and boys. Both men and women do not wear jewelry, including wedding rings. But watches were common.Janzen’s describes her father, at one time a moderator of the Mennonite Brethren Conference, as the equivalent of the Pope, just in plaid shorts with black socks! That was on page 2. Then her mother is singing “The twelve days of Christmas” (p. 19) and not a Christmas hymn. The family has a piano. They celebrated a secular Christmas, which is unusual. These points set the tone for the book. I never quite could rid myself of skepticism and wondered what was real and what was made up. Hence, this book is not as I expected. Read with caution.