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    You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up
    You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up
    You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up
    Audiobook (abridged)3 hours

    You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman's Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up

    Written by Heather McDonald

    Narrated by Heather McDonald

    3.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    New York Times bestselling author, comedian, and Chelsea Lately writer Heather McDonald's hilarious true story of finding herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin at the age of twenty-seven.

    Can't a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin?

    You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered.

    As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book." Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out," blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love—and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateOct 25, 2011
    ISBN9781455828364
    Author

    Heather McDonald

    Heather McDonald is a full-time writer, performer, and story producer on E! Channel’s top-rated show, Chelsea Lately, and stars in the show’s spin-off, After Lately. Heather lives in the San Fernando Valley, California, with her husband of twelve years, Peter, their two sons, and her stepdaughter.

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    Reviews for You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again

    3.5/5

    40 ratings4 reviews

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    • 5/5
      Love this book. Super funny and I love hearing Heathers voice.
    • 1/5
      Synopsis: Comedienne Heather McDonald, best known for her appearances on the hit TV show Chelsea Lately, was a virgin until she was 27 years old. Sure she had lots of boyfriends, was a sorority sister, and went on plenty of dates, but the idealistic California girl was holding out for Mr. Right, while simultaneously holding out on everyone else. McDonald recounts her sexless youth and how she finally "gave it up."Review: I wish I had not read this book and there are two reasons for that. First, because I disliked this book so much, I wanted and still want my money back. This memoir was a waste of words and paper. The reason I feel that way is the second reason I wish I had not read this book: it made me severely dislike Heather McDonald. I used to really enjoy her appearances on the round table on Chelsea Lately and I thought she was pretty funny. Having read her book, I now find her nauseating.Throughout her memoir, McDonald makes continual references to her appearance, i.e., how cute she is, how she is too cute to date a certain guy, how a certain guy should be glad someone as cute as she is is dating him, etc. Also, she placed a strange amount of importance on the fact that she was in a sorority in college, and having been in one seemed to continue to affect her present life. Both these things together made McDonald come off as extremely shallow. I did not go into this book with the expectation that McDonald was the deepest, most thought-provoking person in the world. But the excessive shallowness was a complete turn off for me and prevented me from enjoying this book.Instead of being what could have been a pretty funny memoir, the author was so distasteful as a person that the book was ruined. I would not recommend this memoir to anyone.
    • 3/5
      I borrowed this one from a friend, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered to go out and find it. It was--eh. I mean, moderately funny, and it wasn't like I had to force myself to pick it up, but... she's a whiny, shallow, little rich girl who finds herself funnier than anyone else, and bounces a little incoherently from story to story. I can see why Chelsea devotes a portion of each show to mentioning how annoying Heather is. Still, it didn't take me too long to get through, and I did laugh, so no harm, no foul.
    • 4/5
      She goes off on tangents...a lot. I think it adds to the humor though. I think she also picked some of her comments straight out of my head. It's funny, its light, it has some self-depricating humor mixed in with some self-congratulatory comments. If you enjoy Heather "Long Boobs" McDonald on the Chelsea Lately round table, then you'll likely enjoy this. It's not a must read, but its fun.