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The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.: A Novel
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The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.: A Novel
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The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.: A Novel
Audiobook8 hours

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.: A Novel

Written by Adelle Waldman

Narrated by Nick Podehl

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

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About this audiobook

A debut novel by a brilliant young woman about the coming-of-age of a brilliant young literary man

"Nate is so convincingly drawn you'll want to hug him, lecture him and shake some sense into him simultaneously. Waldman has deftly written a laugh-out-loud treatise on why he didn't call." - Allison Amend, author of A Nearly Perfect Copy

Nate Piven is a rising star in Brooklyn's literary scene. After several lean and striving years, he has his pick of both magazine assignments and women: Juliet, the hotshot business reporter; Elisa, his gorgeous ex-girlfriend, now friend; and Hannah, "almost universally regarded as nice and smart, or smart and nice" and who holds her own in conversation with his friends. But when one relationship grows more serious, Nate is forced to consider what it is he really wants.

In this twenty-first-century literary world, wit and conversation are not at all dead. Is romance? Novelist Adelle Waldman plunges into the psyche of a modern man - who thinks of himself as beyond superficial judgment, yet constantly struggles with his own status anxiety; who is drawn to women, yet has a habit of letting them down. With tough-minded intelligence and wry good humor The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. is an absorbing tale of one young man's search for happiness - and an inside look at how he really thinks about women, sex and love.

Editor's Note

Closely observed…

Nate is a self-described nice guy — which, of course, means he isn’t one. A closely observed comedy of manners that perfectly names the hypocrisies and absurdities of modern life, and especially of modern dating.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateJul 16, 2013
ISBN9781480530461
Author

Adelle Waldman

Adelle Waldman is a graduate of Brown University and Columbia University's journalism school. She worked as a reporter at the New Haven Register and the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and wrote a column for the Wall Street Journal's website. Her articles also have appeared in The New York Times Book Review, The New Republic, Slate, The Wall Street Journal, and other national publications. She is the author of the novels The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P and Help Wanted. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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Reviews for The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.

Rating: 3.307065179891304 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., a first novel by Adelle Waldman (apparently no relation to Ayelet Waldman) is a wickedly fun read about Nathaniel "Nate" Piven, a magazine writer/book reviewer living in Brooklyn who finally has his own book coming out.A late bloomer where girlfriends were concerned, Nate, at age 30, has slowly begun to notice that the girls he’s dating begin to expect a little more from him than he wants to give a little sooner than they did before. He, on the other hand, after years of temping and living like an impoverished student, is starting to notice the effect his book contract has had on the women he runs into at book events and in the local hangouts of his generation’s literati. For Nate, playing the field has just become a whole lot easier and more pleasurable.To Nate, a serial monogamist with his short trail of exes, it is clear that he is more respectful of women in general than his friends are and puts more effort into a relationship than they do. He honestly can’t fathom why one of his recent exes calls him an a**hole when she accidentally runs into him on the street at the start of the novel. To most readers, however, it’s likely to be quite clear. This disconnect between what the reader knows and what Nate – a very smart guy who went to Harvard – knows, is where much of the humor in the books stems from, but also most of the painful moments.The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. follows Nate into the living rooms and bedrooms (in Nate’s tiny Brooklyn studio, the two are the same) of a certain set of young women in New York, and reveals what Nate – to all appearances a decent-looking, nice, smart guy (now with a book contract!) – is thinking. To young women in New York coming up on thirty or already there – like Juliet, Elisa, and Hannah – Nate’s innermost thoughts could be taken as a call to arms or a good reason to move somewhere else!For fuller review, visit Bay State Reader's Advisory.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I gave two stars because the writing is for the most part good, but I feel even that is being generous. I cannot quite determine the intended tone of this book. From the blurbs on the back, apparently it is supposed to be funny but it does not come across that way. It could be satire, poking fun of the very literary "scene" (ugh) that makes up its environs, but that doesn't feel quite right either. Perhaps the author once dated a "Nate" and this is her revenge novel? Despite being third person, it is difficult not to think that the main character Nate also wrote the narrative, as pretense and mental masturbation are just as transparent there as in Nate's words and actions. Nate at first seems to be trying, just a little, to be a decent human being but he just can't quite escape his pit of mild misogyny and strong narcissism. Sure, it may be a telling portrait of the youthful excess of literary up-and-comers and their intellectual pretense, but it's not a portrait I'd like to look at and these characters are not people I would like to spend any time with. I finished the book because I wanted to see where it goes, but let me save you the couple of hours and tell you now: it goes nowhere.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Incisive gender-bending narration; not wowed by the prose itself. Cut a bit close to home.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A book every single should read and reread.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The tale of a character called Nathaniel P (also my brother's name) who lives in Brooklyn and isn't great with people. It's like a romance novel, but realistic.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I knew this guy. Apparently, "He's such a Nathaniel P." is becoming a descriptor among dating women, and it's because so many of us know him. Mine wasn't a writer (well, at one point he was working on a screenplay, but who wasn't?) but he had all the same moves.The best part of this novel is that in the beginning I really had no idea why Nate was supposed to be such a bad guy. He seems nice enough. Intelligent, if a little too sure of himself. He wasn't always that way, in high school and college he'd felt very insecure socially and had worked to overcome it. Somehow over the course of the book Waldman keeps dropping the seeds here and there until there he is one huge rioting garden of bullsh*t. Which is of course why so many of us date a guy like Nate over the course of our lives: we try to work through it until the stink is about to make us pass out.I especially loved how Nate disparaged my alma mater in a throwaway comment, lumping Gallatin in with Sarah Lawrence and Vassar as where people "gleaned amazingly little knowledge in four years" at "whatever fancy progressive school they'd attended, where that much-heralded goal of modern pedagogy, to teach students 'how to think,' was considered better achieved without the inference of actual facts." Way to put a dagger in me, Nate! What would you think of my CUNY masters degree? (I think we all know. Also, at least my Nate also attended NYU, even though he may or may not have actually earned a degree...)Loved this book, even though some of the characters were pretty obnoxious (in addition, of course, to Nate.) Actually, Hannah seemed way too cool to be so caught up in the Brooklyn hipster/intellectual racket. Aurit in particular struck me as someone I definitely could have met and been frenemies with. I am especially glad that upon finishing the book I looked back with a little bit of nostalgia but absolutely no desire to return, either to Brooklyn or my time as a single woman there. Fantastic!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I did not enjoy this book. Nathaniel P. is a jerk, and his affairs boring. But apparently I completely missed the fact that this was meant to be a witty satire -- I found it to be neither. Oh well.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    "Men and women on relationships are like men and women on orgasms, except in reverse.... Women crave relationships the way men crave orgasm. Their whole being bends to its imperative. Men, in contrast, want relationships the way women want orgasm: sometimes, under the right circumstances."I'm in a strange place with reviewing this one, for a couple of reasons. The first is because I was asked to include it in Austen in August, even though it is not really a retelling of any of Austen's works, or even a nod to them. And yet, it also is? More on that later. The other reason is that, it's hard to recommend a book that's all about unlikability... What do you say? "You should read this, you'll have everyone?" Bit of a hard sell, that. So let's try the soft sell: Adelle Waldman's debut is an incisive look dating, social mores and general douchebaggery.Okay, I don't know if that made it sound any better.The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P., for me, is not necessarily something to be liked, but something to be appreciated. No, Nate isn't likable, but does he need to be? Plenty of the most memorable characters in literature are not the least bit likable - but they are fascinating. Is Nate Piven fascinating, then? As a prime example of his "type," sure. He's a dick. But he thinks he's very earnest, he thinks he's very evolved. He pats himself on the back a lot, and makes you want to shake him a little harder each time. But at the same time, you know he's very intelligent, you know he's ambitious and talented. You know he's capable of being charming... maybe he's a sociopath? No, he's too neurotic and guilt-ridden for that, but he has a sociopath's skill-set, to be sure. He coolly appraises each woman he comes into contact with, dismissing them as viable bedmates like a medieval king surveying the the peasants for much the same reason. When Nate does encounter someone he finds suitable - not just attractive, but suitable, momentarily fascinating - he turns on the charm and lures them in, and I'm not even sure he realizes what he's doing.There are moments when he's assessing what went wrong with a relationship, and he'll compare himself to his male friends and how much worse they are, how much more crass - but he never seems to realize that he does the same, only with less honesty. Nate's got a wandering eye, and the minute it starts to twitch and want to wander, he begins to discover all the many, many flaws each of his girlfriends apparently has. All the reasons they can't make it work, so he shouldn't even bother - and though he sometimes admits that it's probably him, he'll admit in the same breath a thousand excuses... One of my favorite parts of the book is when a character called him on it, because it's what I'd been wanting to say the entire time: "I feel like you want to think what you're feeling is really deep, like some seriously profound existential shit. But to me, it looks like the most tired, the most average thing in the world, the guy who is all interested in a woman until the very moment when it dawns on him that he has her. Wanting only what you can't have. The affliction of shallow morons everywhere."So, if you look for characters you can connect with and root for, Nathaniel P. is probably not your guy. In fact, most of the characters are not all that likable and rootforable. (Except maybe Aurit.) But the way in which this is executed, the ease with which Waldman brings these characters - who never feel like caricatures - to life, is what makes you keep coming back for more. Like Nate, Waldman charms you, she makes you smile, she makes you want to give him a try, give him a second chance. Even when I was hating on Nate (or, not even hating, but being frustrated by Nate, who could be better than this), I was drawn along by Waldman's style and insight. The characters are very real, we know these people, but at the same time, they're just heightened-enough to bring out what Waldman (or Nate) is trying to show us. And this is where Jane Austen comes in, because I can see why this trait, this ability to capture a character on such an honest level, is drawing comparisons to Austen. (And of course, the focus on dating and relationships, though as a Janeite, it just draws it more into focus how times have changed...) Nathaniel P. is a very good character study, and it does have some of that wry, reserved presentation we associate with Austen: we see right through Nathaniel, we understand him while he tries very hard to pretend to understand himself.Whether this is a book to put on your to-get list is going to depend entirely on what it is you want to get from a story, and how high a tolerance you have for smug, womanizing assholes who always manage to land on their feet and excuse away their failings... So I'll leave that to you to decide.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    This was... a trial. Nathaniel (Nate) was tiresome and pretentious, and showed little depth of character. He seemed to be a liberal intellectual with a heavy dose of misogynist tendencies, all of which were somehow justified by his literary prowess. His lack of interest in anyone else in the book, including those with whom he was ostensibly forming relationships, was off-putting as well. By the time the novel finished, one might expect the main character to grow and develop as a result of his experiences, but Nate did not appear to do so. Nor did there seem to be any centrally occurring conflict to spur the story onward, keeping the reader interested in Nate's exploits. Ultimately, The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P reads a lot more like a stream of consciousness as written by Nate (though oddly in the third person rather than the first) rather than a cohesive novel.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I thought I was really going to like this book because the summaries and advanced praise made it sound like a novel I would enjoy but after I finished I was relieved it was over. Perhaps that was what the author Adelle Waldman (not to be confused with Ayelet Waldman) was aiming for as she dragged us along for Nathaniel Piven's relationships: past, present, unrequited crushes, and every girl he happened to spy wearing tight jeans that he might want to have a tryst with should the situation present itself. Nathan's affairs are not what bogged the book down though it's all the "smart" conversations Nathan and his equally literary and educated friends have at parties and restaurants.The setting and the subjects: big city, literary circles, struggling writers, domesticity, love lives, and relationships reminded me of George Gissing's New Grub Street a novel from way back (1891) that explores the same topics. That novel influenced the newer Grub by Elise Blackwell (2007). I recommend reading either or both of those novels and then if you're still longing for more read Waldman's novel. I hope Waldman keeps writing because I'd give her next book a try.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    "Nate had not always been the kind of guy women called an asshole. Only recently had he been popular enough to inspire such ill will."

    With this, readers are introduced to Nate Piven: an up-and-coming Brooklyn writer with a book deal in his pocket and a long history of failed relationships. Nate wears his badge of progressive, politically correct manhood with pride, but repeatedly finds himself disappointing the women around him as he is searches for contentment, both in and out of love.

    From its blurb, The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. sounds like another story to toss on the stacks of books and movies that attempt to unravel young adulthood and fear of commitment. But pigeonholing the book would be a huge disservice to Waldman and the smart, careful work she’s done. Though Waldman uses Nate’s relationships as her lens, The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. is much more a study of a generation of young men than it is an examination of love and sex.

    Throughout the novel, Nate struggles to meld the conflicting beliefs of his parents, peers and lovers to form a future for himself, regularly questioning which group is right. As he stumbles, Waldman is able to make readers feel both searingly critical and quietly understanding of Nate, who begins to represent much more than his hunt for love. With a hilariously truthful voice, The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. brilliantly peels apart the vastly different layers that make up the complexities new adulthood.

    Blog: River City Reading
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    It is not unimportant that Nate Piven's ideal evening is one spent eating a freezer pizza "for one" while reading Lermontov's A Hero of Our Time. Nate in many ways resembles Lermontov's anti-hero, the cynical, self-absorbed, boredom-prone, nihilistic but ultimately sensitive, Pechorin. Well, Nate is Pechorin without the balls to be an thorough-going cad. Despite his flaws, and Pechorin is deeply flawed, he is one of my favorite characters. Nate has much of his charm. He knows that he is considered a " nice guy," and the shtick works for him, yet he clearly knows he is a bit if a cad. His recent writing success, his Harvard education, his feeling of being in a higher intellectual sphere than he actually is haven't done much to dampen is self- important social imaging. Yet on his own he is really just another lonely " superfluous man" whining in the dark. He likes the amenities of a relationship, but the hard work, the accommodations, the lack of a separate life, the sacrifice, these he can't man up to. Even with a woman who really demands nothing of him, he feels the burden of sacrifice. His vacillations and unrelenting self analysis are heartbreaking. I wanted to reach through the pages and wring his little neck. Tell him to stop being such a yutz. Whining, petulant...the list could go on and on. So why is Nate so likeable. Quite simply, he is honest and he is real. In fact all of the characters are beautifully developed. I was expecting a bunch of latter day Seinfeld like caricatures, yet that is not what Waldman delivered. Beyond the characters, the book is elegantly written comedy of manners in the 21st century. At times Waldman verges on a satiric tone, but ultimately her big-heartedness out. If as a reader you know that unrelenting self analysis is tedious, if A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man wore you out, this may not be the book for you. Hopefully by the time the book is released the, at this point, egregious job with the editing will be worked out. Many, many errors.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Nathaniel "Nate" Piven is an up and coming literary phenom living in New York City. He continues to pay his dues as a scrub writer - essays, book reviews, magazine articles. His first novel is coming out soon and this reader looked forward to exactly what he would do as he relishes in what may be his last moments of anonymity. However, Ms. Waldman takes the reader on the path suggested by the title. She relates stories of his relationships, past and present, both with women and men. On the first page, we meet Juliet, a former short term relationship that ended with an abortion and no calls after taking care of her after the procedure. This is supposed to establish that Nate is a ladies' man, love-em-and-leave-em type. Ms. Waldman then spends the majority of the novel on Nate's relationship with Hannah. Not his first serious relationship, but could it be his most lasting? His eye wanders to other women. He self-analyzes to try to figure out why he is the way he is.With insights into his day to day life trying to make ends meet and struggling to write for a living, much of the novel allows for a glimpse into this world of young literary twenty- and thirty-somethings. These people have intelligent conversations at dinner parties before getting drunk and falling into the closest bed with the closest person. Some very good, descriptive writing is on display. One example is Nate's description of his bedroom in his bachelor's apartment: "He was distracted by an ominous crack in his wall, inching downward from the molding above his bed. Arrow-shaped, it seemed to point accusingly at the squalor below."This reader found the literary-world portions of the book much more interesting than the relationships. The ending chapters touch on the "rebound relationship" that may have been more interesting to relate in detail than the one with Hannah.While understanding that this is an advance copy, the lack of editing as the novel went on became very distracting. There were missing words, doubled words, incomplete sentences, missing punctuation and typographical errors.Overall rating is straight down the middle. Not overwhelmed, but did find some interesting stories within the main story.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Mrs. Waldman painted a picture of the young new York writers dating scene in this book. The main character, Nate, is an up and coming writer who just can't seem to stick with a relationship. He finds a great girl, sleeps with her and dates her for a few months, then starts to find fault with some little thing, whether it be physical or mental and brake up with them. But then he meets Hannah, a friend of a former girlfriend and starts his cycle again. But Hannah id different, he has fun with her and they just get along great. When everything is all and well, old Nate's ways start to creep back on him, and he contemplates breaking it off with her.A very funny book, with very detailed writing of human emotions and thoughts, Mrs. Waldman proves herself to be a rising star.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Nate Piven is an up and comer in the world of publishing. He is a more evolved male who doesn't want to hurt women but somehow ends up being a disappointment when it comes to dating and relationships.At first it was fun being in Nate's head and looking at things from his point of view, especially women and some of the more subtle, manipulative things our gender has been known to do. The 'Let's stay friends but when we spend time together I want to continue hashing out what what wrong with our relationship' gambit. Nate has his own inadequacies of which he is aware and tends to focus on too much. He starts dating Hannah and just wants to keep it casual but they end up in a relationship. At more than halfway through the book, I started to get tired of being in Nate's head and found him too whiny and over-analytical. I know that was point but it just got dull and I gave up. I skipped through to the ending and honestly, I don't think I missed much. Save your money, if you are still interested, go to the library.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    As I read this book it became more and more oppressively, claustrophobically, the Brooklyn journalistic/literary scene. While it was amusing at first, it was not nearly amusing enough to sustain even its relatively slender length. And while much of it rang true--and there was something impressive and borderline titillating about a woman inhabiting a man's head to the degree that Adelle Waldman pulled off in this book--that was not enough to transcend what felt like a narrow setting and an all-too-ordinary setting of a 20 something going from affair to affair. If it had more of a plot or a purpose it might have felt different than the exploration of a social setting and the rise and fall of a relationship within that setting. That said, it was well written and I would certainly consider reading Waldman's next book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I will start with the good stuff. Waldman has an engaging writing style. Her prose is both breezy and smart (not the easiest combo.) She knows literary hipster Brooklyn really well and provides a great setting. She also developed one interesting and dimensional character. Sadly that character is not Nate.I think the author set out to write a book in the tradition of authors like Philip Roth and John Updike but with more depth of character. What would it look like if we could see inside of Nathan Zuckerman's or Harry Angstrom's head? Unfortunately I think that was a fool's errand. What is inside of Zuckerman or Angstrom or Nathaniel P. is pretty much what is on the outside of Zukerman or Angstrom or Nathaniel P. I am not saying men are not deep, or that men are all alike. What I am saying is that a certain kind of man, a narcissist who thinks about what image he is projecting rather than being a good man doesn't have the kinds of inner battles that Nate fights in this book. Nate is both jaded and callow. That seems like a paradox, but when you experience a lot and never grow as a person that is what happens. Waldman tries to make Nate complex, but he's a simple man. He cares about his writing, and he cares about how he is perceived, he cares about getting laid, he cares about feeling important without actually doing anything of import. Nate wrestling with himself, as he does for most of this book, is simply untrue to the character. Hannah was kind of great though. I liked Hannah. I want to read her story. I think Waldman would write it very well.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Some other reviewers have given this a low mark because the main character is kind of a unlikeable. Talk about missing the point! This is a forensic dismembering of a certain kind of creative, vaguely feminist, intellectual jerk - and it's note perfect. Brutal, sometimes funny and engagingly written.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The Love Affairs Of Nathaniel P.byAdele WaldmanMy " in a nutshell" summary...Nathaniel P. or Nate...trying to work his way through relationships and life.My thoughts after reading this quirky ( sort of ) book...It's always fun to read a book where the central character is a youngish man trying to figure out his way through life and relationships especially when the book is written by a woman. Plus...Nate is an interesting character. He is not necessarily attractive in my mind but he is appealing. In my head I have him looking like a young Woody Allen. Not necessarily good looking but infinitely appealing. In his own words he was never really that popular in high school...but rather kind of nerdy and wordy...but for some reason women are attracted to him. Who knew?He lives in NYC in a semi dismal apartment...often pondering the fact that his coffee maker is filthy but he doesn't want to do anything about it. He has had a number of relationships...his latest ones with Elissa...and then Hannah...and they are recently broken up. He seems to have tons of reasons to break up with the women in his life. He doesn't seem that honorable. Is he a typical thirty something? He is writing a book, reviewing books and sort of living from check to check but money doesn't seem to be an issue. His issues are all his own. His friends, his likes, his dislikes all seem to make me believe he is not truly emotionally invested in anything. Again...my thoughts...I am probably wrong.I liked this book without really caring for anyone. I felt that Nate lacked true emotions but it really didn't bother him and so it didn't bother me either. Final thoughts...I read this book as though I was reading an article. I was not able to truly connect to it but I don't think it was the fault of the book. The characters were living their lives in the world we live in...just trying to find their way by becoming involved in relationships and friendships. First jobs, budding careers, frustrations...were all there and it was interesting.So...a good book...well written...just not one that pulled me in. This is one of those books that is also hard to review. It's not long but some form of ordinary life is happening on every page...relationships, getting coffee, dinners, talking...constantly talking to friends at parties, meetings, walks, everywhere. That was all interesting and helpful in figuring out Nate but it wasn't necessarily high drama or page turning. Probably more...hmmm...comfy! And very happy not to ever have been involved with him...it would not have been earth shattering...just annoying.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Fantastic writing - such an accurate and ugly depiction of today's ivy league and feminism-wrought adults in the modern dating scene. Nate is a loathsome character; a single New Yorker in his early 30s, neurotic, hyper-critical, petty, jealous, and lacks any sense of selflessness when it comes to relationships, whether romantic or general friendship. Everything I dislike about modern young people's feel-good liberalism is embodied in Nate and his circle of friends' rampant narcissism and hypocrisy. Lord help us if this brand of youth ever becomes the cultural majority.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    WOMAN GETS COMPLETELY INSIDE MAN'S HEAD should be the headline proclaiming this as one of the best books ever written about man vs woman. Based on the picture on the back flap, author Adelle Waldman is female, but no woman has ever figured out as much about men in their 30s as she has. It should probably be categorized as nonfiction. Her protagonist, Nate, lays his thoughts bare to the reader, and boy are they shallow. You want to send a sympathy card to ever woman he ever wooed and dumped. Compared to all his Harvard buddies, Nate comes from a relatively humble background, and maybe that's what made him the totally self centered bastard that he is, which makes for some fascinating reading. Nate's not all bad - he's just all bad for women. His inner monologues, as well as Waldman's renditions of his shattered expectations in every love affair, are just fascinating to me. Ever wonder why a man did this, that, or the other thing? Read this excellent book and find out. And weep - with frustration.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I found this story of New York writers offensive and boring. I did not appreciate Nathaniel's negative characteristics as being described as typically Jewish. I read the whole book expecting a surprise ending, which did not appear. I was guided by one reviewer who said she was not familiar with pop culture (nor am I), but the surprise ending made the experience worthwhile. I felt the final page was more of the tedious same. I was sorry to learn of the negative aspects of book publishing. The author obviously enjoyed her experience much more than this reader did.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    A very disappointing read. I can't believe how good the reviews have been. It reads like a male version of Sex in the City only without the humour and with much less interesting characters. Being so rigidly stuck in the world of publishing, the novel is an exercise in navel-gazing. The main character is irritating self-centred and boring which may be what the author intended but, if so, does not make for an interesting novel.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Well, that was unexpected. Despite numerous trustworthy people spruiking this book to me, I was unpersuaded. And then I started reading. And the first chapter was cringe inducing. "Justin, why do novelists insist," Justin asked himself, "on pretending that people call each other by their name every time they address a statement to someone?"

    That was the last negative thought I had about the book. And I had to throw that one out the window, too, because the next time someone unnecessarily used a name was towards the end. That made it very clear that naming happened only when Nathaniel P. was extremely uncomfortable, feeling guilty, and trying to deflect that guilt. My bad.

    Now, before I slaver on too much, know that this book is not for everyone. The Jane Austen comparisons seem entirely accurate, since Austen wasn't for everyone until her books had been marketed into the shape of an empire waist and a cravat: she was, and is, snarky, intellectual, ironic, and completely unwilling to let you think entirely well of any of her characters. Waldman is like that, and like Mary McCarthy, too. This is a wonderful thing. But if you really need a character who is always morally right and emotionally affecting, this is not the place. If you, as I do, think that books about dating are incredibly boring, this might not be the book for you, either.*

    It is also deeply polemical and of/in tension with its moment. I found it productive, because I too am of/deeply in tension with this moment. Like Nate, I grew up into male feminism. Like Nate, I am deeply impressed with my own intellect. And Waldman achieves what a million blogs cannot, viz., forces young men such as myself to think through our commitments to gender equality. I like to think I come through not too bad. Maybe a 7/10. "Should try harder," writes my teacher.

    But the real target of the book are those men and women who are failing; who don't just need to try harder--they (we?) need to completely rethink the way we approach political issues, and alter our habits. To put it a bit too glibly, Nate says all the right things, would never utter a sexist statement, would never have a sexist thought that he didn't immediately correct, but is still morally repulsive, because he's incapable of linking his political/social conscience to his personal conduct. Nate is a male feminist. He is also a prick. Not amount of literary-world writing and conversation will change that. If the book was really up to date, Nate would have been writing for websites about privilege, issuing meae culpae at every turn, apologizing for his skin color and genitalia. And he would still be a prick. Because language is not deeds.

    Also, I want to re-read the thing. I want to be hang out with the characters again. I want to share a beer with Hannah while she talk shit about Nate, and another one with Aurit (which I just realized I can do thanks to the ambivalent wonders of Kindle), and another one with Jason and then talk shit about Jason with someone else etc... This is noteworthy because I don't care at all about this kind of thing, in general. But Waldman made it work for me. Again, see caveat about this not being true for everyone.

    * Part of the excellence of LANP is that Waldman treats issues like this in the text, so you (I) have to think about why I'm not usually impressed by books about dating (or, more generally, love). Am I, like Nathaniel, writing off personal experiences like this because I'm a closet misogynist? I hope not. In any case, the novel's reflexivity is very welcome, and another mark in its favor.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    At first glance, this novel comes off as incredibly pretentious and full of itself. That is, Nate, the main character (though it is questionable whether he is actually intended to be a protagonist, or rather antagonist to the many girls in his life), thinks multi-syllable words are the only words worth using. But the novel is written in train-of-thought style, and eventually Nate, as a character on a page, is developed - at least within the parameters of his internal dialogue. He slowly transforms from the haughty, self-aggrandizing, immature boy he appears to be from page one, into a slightly less haughty, still self-aggrandizing, slightly more mature man, as his apparent nature is revealed to be a cover-up for his insecurities and general sense of failure. At least that’s what Nate would have you believe.The true feat of artistry and creativity is Waldman’s attempt at writing the male perspective. And while the attempt deserves an applause, it merits questioning whether this male character seems as well-rounded from a male POV as it did (to me) from a female POV. Is Nate overly concerned with emotions? Does he encapsulate all the hedonistic qualities of a man as only a woman would portray him? In the end, Nate reminded me of Dog from the Pixar movie Up (and boy do I wish I had a better comparison). He seems unexpectedly intelligent, so for a while it is possible to forget WHAT he is, in favor of how impressive he seems. But in the end, just as Dog could no longer deny his canine nature when he smelled a squirrel, no more could Nate ignore his sexuality in the presence of an attractive female. Written in a thoughtful, true-to-life feat of incredible creativity, the end result of The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. is the inevitability of succumbing to one’s nature in spite of any and all effort to the contrary.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    So the good folks at Henry Holt and Co. are pushing The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. as a book with “the most (frighteningly) realistic male character of 2013” at its center. It's a marketing move, I get that; I'm not knocking the wise choice of catering to machismo men and jilted women with the same book. Such a move can, however, make way for giving the Man-Hater's camp some fodder, so let me step up on my soapbox here for all to see and say “yes, Nathaniel Piven is certainly one very accurate sampling of a male character, but by no means does he embody the definition of male personality. Thank you.”Nathaniel Piven is sort of a jerk, but I think that's giving him too much credit. I think I was supposed to walk away hating Nate more than I did, because, let's be “realistic” here, the girls climbing all over Nate weren't exactly not asking to have their hearts trampled on. Yes, Hannah was quite likable and I did feel bad for her, but it's almost as if she thought if she threw herself at Nate, he'd respect and love her. Ladies, sex does not equal love. Respect rarely comes from having sex with someone on a first (or second) date. But, I forget, I stepped off my soapbox in the first paragraph.So, all that being said, the characters were very well written because Adelle Waldman really got into Nate's psyche. And she did a fabulous job of showing the other characters' sardonic perceptions through Nate's eyes. Nate suffers from a mental illness of some kind, but it is never presented as such; rather, his illness is seen as more of a gender issue. Clearly, the author wants you to believe that being a man is a mental... wait, no—forgot I wasn't going there again.Okay, the book. So I liked the book (despite my aforementioned peeve), but my ability to enjoy it may have had something to do with the fact the whole thing felt more like satire, commenting on the publishing industry and the lives of the literati. And if that's the case, maybe Waldman isn't poking at me as a man, but at the industry in general. If so, I say game on; we all know everything we've ever heard about the unlikable chums in that group is true.I can't help but wonder if I've just somehow proven that I, too, am like Nathaniel P.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Adelle Waldman’s debut novel is about a particular type of guy that many women will surely recognize. An overeducated, underemployed manchild who can’t quite seem to grow up even as success is knocking at the door of his squalid walk-up. He’s a serial monogamist stubbornly unable to commit to an adult relationship between equals. Yet, somehow he’s not exactly a bad guy…or anything.If you’re a fan of Sex and the City you may recall that of all the lotharios and ladies-men that Carrie dated, it was the schlubby, self-effacing writer, Berger, who broke up with her in the most humiliating way - on a post-it note. And Nate, Waldman’s protagonist, is cut from precisely the same mold. The story is told through his point of view, so we get a glimpse into his mindset, his history with women and how he perceives his own eligibility [or lack thereof] relative to the other men in his social circle. Believe me, this guy does not see himself as a player by any stretch. Yet somehow, this doesn’t stop him from leaving a string of extremely pissed off , broken-hearted women in his wake.But The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. is actually about more than just one man’s trouble with commitment, and the key can be found in a conversation that takes place early in the book. Nate attends a dinner party with members of the Brooklyn hipster literati hosted by one of his many ex-girlfriends. When asked what he’s currently working on, Nate describes a piece about the American habit of outsourcing cheap labor, which incites a debate about how the liberal elite are willing to pay more at a store like Whole Foods for the privilege of feeling ethically pure. Nate’s thesis is that, "…conscience is the ultimate luxury," and it’s something he certainly affords himself when justifying his treatment of the women in his life. And I think this is the universal theme at the very heart of Waldman’s tale.After all, everyone finds ways of excusing their own bad behavior in order to live with themselves.This is a fast, entertaining read. The writing is sharp and funny. The characters are challenging, hyper-literate and full of barbed wit. If you are a fan of Woody Allen, Whit Stillman, Noah Baumbach or HBO’s comedy, Girls, you’re sure to find something to like in The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I love a good character-driven novel, and this did not disappoint. Adelle Waldman did a great job of getting into the head of a selfish 30-something obsessed with his liberal guilt, being viewed as a success, and thin women. He would be very easy to hate, but the author manages to make him sympathetic by sharing the circuitous path that takes him to his thoughtless-sounding words. I really liked the discrepancy between what we knew was going on in Nate's head compared with what he actually said. Overall, a light but thought-provoking read that made me more grateful than ever that I'm not part of the "upper-middle class" publishing world in Brooklyn. Blech.