What Comes Next and How to Like It: A Memoir
Written by Abigail Thomas
Narrated by Abigail Thomas
4/5
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About this audiobook
In her bestselling memoir A Three Dog Life, Abigail Thomas wrote about the devastating loss of her husband. In What Comes Next and How to Like It, “a keenly observed memoir…Thomas writes of the changes aging brings us all and of coping through love: of family, dogs, a well-turned phrase. She is superb company” (People).
Thomas was startled to overhear herself described as “a nice old lady with a tattoo,” because she thinks of herself as not nice, not old, nor a lady. But she has wondered: what comes next? What comes after the death of a spouse? What form does a lifelong friendship take after deepest betrayal? How does a mother cope with her child’s dire illness? Or the death of a cherished dog?
And how to like it? How to accept, appreciate, enjoy? How to find solace and pleasure? How to sustain and be sustained by our most trusted, valuable companions? At its heart, What Comes Next and How to Like It is about the complicated friendship between Thomas and a man she met thirty-five years ago—a rich bond that has lasted through marriages, child-raising, and the vicissitudes and tragedies of life. “After all,” she writes, “there are those people we love, and then there are those we recognize. These are the unbreakable connections.”
Exquisitely observed, lush with sentences you will read over and over again, What Comes Next and How to Like It “is a beautifully felt, deeply moving memoir, the best work yet by a woman who has already done some of the best work in the field. Abigail Thomas is the Emily Dickinson of memoirists, and so much of this book’s wisdom is between the lines and in the white spaces. It may only take you two days to read, but the impact will stay with you for a long, long time” (Stephen King). This is a glorious guide to living imperfectly and exuberantly.
Abigail Thomas
Abigail Thomas worked as both a book editor and book agent before writing her first short story collection, Getting Over Tom. Her second and third books An Actual Life, and Herb's Pajamas, were works of fiction. Her memoir, A Three Dog Life, was named one of the Best Books of the Year by The Los Angeles Times and The Washington Post. She is also author of the memoirs Safekeeping, Thinking About Memoir, and What Comes Next and How to Like It. The daughter of renowned science writer Lewis Thomas (The Lives of a Cell), Thomas has four children, twelve grandchildren, and two great grandchildren. She lives in Woodstock, New York, with her dogs.
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Reviews for What Comes Next and How to Like It
62 ratings11 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5She’s processed life out loud. No false notes, every word is familiar yet a revelation.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Simple, forthright, and stunning.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/53.5 Short reflections make this book palatable and digestible, though there are some deep thoughts and experiences. Divided into 3 parts: Unbreakable Connections, I Don't Get to Live Forever, and The Wilderness of Not Knowing, Thomas is looking at the past and also her present reality as she pushes beyond 70, though still feeling youthful and attuned to her 1960s coming of age culture. She compliments her writing with painting -- on glass, a hobby and pasttime which ultimately gives her lots of do-overs when she can wipe the glass clean. Unlike life. She has some major issues to confront: her best friend Chuck's affair with her 20-something daughter, her daughter's battle with cancer, her 4th husband's tragic debilitating accident and eventual death, her own mortality (complicated by cigarettes and alcohol), and the loss of her aging dogs over a small time span. But there is eloquence here and hope. In confronting death and illness, she decides to become a hospice volunteer. Of the training she says: "I want to make Death a member of my family. I don't want it to arrive as a stranger." (120) There are only so many eventualities we can plan for and that's part of her point --- accepting whatever comes along regardless. "And this is my most selfish thought, that if I lose the people I love what is left of my own life will consist only of grief." (214) There are light-hearted moments too about dating and dogs and the unique friendship she shares with Chuck is impressive in its depth and duration.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Thomas really spoke to me. She expresses emotions in a way that I feel incapable. This book made me look back on my life -- just checking to make sure there's no lingering negative feelings. She also really, really, really makes me want to buy a farmhouse and have a menagerie of pets.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Liked this a lot. Made me want to read her earlier memoir.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I love the title. It is just what being old is like.you are not really allowed to complain about dodgy teeth and dodgy breath and dodgy hands and dodgy memory and dodgy sleep and dodgy facial sun spots and I could go on and on about the dodginess of my life.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I have mixed feelings about this book. Some parts I really enjoyed and some parts I wanted to skip over. The setup was a little weird for me. I think you will either like this or not. I'm in the so-so category. It just didn't move me.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5After reading and enjoying A Three Dog Life (a memoir) by Abigail Thomas, I was anxious to read her latest book.This is also a memoir, continuing on after A Three Dog Life in which she tells us about tragically losing her spouse. She writes about growing older and how older folks can relate and enjoy whatever life brings them. Specifically, she writes about what is going on in her life, both the good things and the bad things.She again mentions losing her spouse and how her family, dogs, and friends have played so many important roles in her life. Her background has been as a writer, teacher, editor, and agent so she had an interesting career (and still does) with lots of wonderful memories.I loved the way Ms. Thomas writes because she makes me feel as though I've known her for many years and we are friends who can discuss life's ups and downs. I hope she's able to write for many years to come.9
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A delightful memoir from a sixty/seventy-something writer. Funny and touching, these little vignettes gave me many aha! moments of recognition, sometimes leaving me laughing out loud. Other, quieter entries reflected on the difficult aspects of aging: illness of one's own or of a loved one; fears of dying and death; physical changes. This is also the story of the author's 30-year friendship with a man and it's survival despite a painful betrayal. Three of my favorite moments:"...I look at the photograph Jennifer took of me sitting on a stool next to her twins, and really, from the back, it looks as if I have an open umbrella concealed under my skirt. How did that happen?""...when it gets dark, I'm off the hook. The day is officially rolled up and put away. I'm free to watch movies or stare at the wall, no longer holding myself accountable for what I might or might not have gotten done because the time for getting something done is over until tomorrow."and Abigail's realization that, used at the beginning of a sentence, "Yo" and "Like" are punctuation marks.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/53.5 I am a very picky memoir reader. Don't get me wrong, I love those that turn out to be interesting, not pity memoirs as I call them. This book is done well and I loved reading this author's thoughts and conversations about everything and anything. The title What Come Next, came from her wondering what her life will be like after the death of her husband.This book celebrates her thirty-five year platonic friendship with Chuck. I loved her relationships and writings about her dogs, past and present. Her love for them definitely shines, as does those relating to her family. Not all the news in these writings are good news, but I feel that the author let us be privy to her innermost thoughts and feelings. I could have happily kept reading, long after the book ended. Her writing is beautiful, thoughtful and honest, amusing at times too as in this passage,"Then I remember an insight I had when I woke up this morning. The words "yo" and "like" (when beginning a sentence) are not parts of speech at all! They are punctuation. "It's like starting a sentence with a comma," I tell Chuck, "isn't' that brilliant?""With a little refinement," he answers, "it might achieve the level of a thought."Good memoir, with many good thoughts, I quite liked this one.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5As a woman over 50 who loves dogs, I loved this book. She is funny, honest and irreverent.