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    If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny
    If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny
    If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny
    Audiobook10 hours

    If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny

    Written by Zach Anner

    Narrated by Zach Anner

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Comedian Zach Anner opens his frank and devilishly funny book, If at Birth You Don't Succeed, with an admission: he botched his own birth. Two months early, underweight and under-prepared for life, he entered the world with cerebral palsy and an uncertain future. So how did this hairless mole-rat of a boy blossom into a viral internet sensation who's hosted two travel shows, impressed Oprah, driven the Mars Rover, and inspired a John Mayer song? (It wasn't "Your Body is a Wonderland.")

    Zach lives by the mantra: when life gives you wheelchair, make lemonade. Whether recounting a valiant childhood attempt to woo Cindy Crawford, encounters with zealous faith healers, or the time he crapped his pants mere feet from Dr. Phil, Zach shares his fumbles with unflinching honesty and characteristic charm. By his thirtieth birthday, Zach had grown into an adult with a career in entertainment, millions of fans, a loving family, and friends who would literally carry him up mountains.

    If at Birth You Don't Succeed     is a hilariously irreverent and heartfelt memoir about finding your passion and your path even when it's paved with epic misadventure. This is the unlikely but not unlucky story of a man who couldn't safely open a bag of Skittles, but still became a fitness guru with fans around the world. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll fall in love with the Olive Garden all over again, and learn why cerebral palsy is, definitively, "the sexiest of the palsies."

    Praise for Zach Anner

    “Zach makes you want to be a better person, with his humor and his heart and everything he's had to deal with from the time he was born. I've never met anyone like him, and I've met a lot of people.” —Oprah Winfrey

    “Zach Anner is a truly inspiring and hysterical human being with a warped sense of humor (and body). He’s also an exceptional writer and his memoir is an absolute joy.”—Rainn Wilson

    “Zach Anner is the living definition of ‘giving better than he’s gotten.’ Life dealt him a difficult hand but he managed to beat the house with humor, heart, and a fearless punk attitude. Required reading.”—Patton Oswalt

    “I love Zach Anner and I love his memoir. If everyone were a little more like Zach, the world may not be abetter place, but it would be funnier place, which is a great step forward.”—Alexis Ohanian

    “He’s a unique, creative kid with a smart, edgy sense of humor.”—Arsenio Hall

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMacmillan Audio
    Release dateMar 8, 2016
    ISBN9781427268044
    If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny
    Author

    Zach Anner

    Zach Anner is an award-winning comedian, show host, and public speaker. In 2011, he won his own travel show on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Rollin' With Zach. He also hosted the shows Have A Little Faith for Rainn Wilson's media company SoulPancake, and Riding Shotgun and Workout Wednesdays on his own YouTube channel, which has over eleven million hits. Zach lives in Buffalo, NY and Austin, TX, and spends most of his spare time in his underwear, thinking about how he can change the world.

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    Reviews for If at Birth You Don't Succeed

    4/5

    50 ratings15 reviews

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    • 5/5
      I won this book from LibraryThing’s Early Reviewers. I love reading books about people with disabilities, and memoirs are especially interesting. Zach Anner has cerebral palsy, “the sexiest of the palsies” according to…well, Zach himself. But he goes on to prove it in the book, which kicks off recounting his experience on Oprah’s reality show competition. From there, the book progresses through Zach’s web shows to present day, with jumps back in time to various instances in his early life. The jumps aren’t as smooth as they could be; it seems like Zach wrote everything as stand-alone essays, because he re-introduces people several times throughout the book. This gets a little confusing because you wonder if Andrew introduced in chapter nine is the same Andrew who was a major player in the first few chapters. (Not specific, just an example.) Besides that, I loved this book. Zach is hilarious, and I laughed out loud at a few of his stories and even more of his one-liners. I had never heard of him before, but now I want to watch all of his YouTube videos. Highly recommend this memoir.
    • 5/5
      I picked up this memoir because my sister has been struggling physically and emotionally with Crohn's and I wanted to learn how someone dealing with physical limitations could keep such a positive attitude. As soon as I started reading, though, I realized I was going to learn a lot more for myself than for her. While I read Zach Anner's words, I was reading about struggles I've had (romance, friendships, jobs...) and his mentality for dealing with situations made me re-examine how I have been approaching my life. Oprah said, "Zach makes you want to be a better person." And after reading this book, I couldn't agree with her more.
    • 4/5
      Personality wins over physics. It certainly helps to have parents who offer such unrelenting help and encouragement, but Zach's inner optimism and charm have been his best tools in life. An excellent memoir.
    • 4/5
      I had never heard of Zach Anner before reading about his book If At Birth You Don't Succeed on librarything (thank you, librarything!). He is an internet star, hosting several different web series, a comedian, fitness instructor...and oh, he has cerebral palsy. What came through about Zach to me is that he is a person first; his disability is not his defining feature. One of the many things he does in the book is that he confronts how people often see the disability before they see the person.I know this is a long quote from the book, but really, it's worth reading..."A pedestal of prejudice is a hard thing to explain without sounding like a dick. But in a weird way, most of the world places such low expectations on me that there's no way I can do anything but amaze. I recently went on a museum tour of famed illustrator N.C. Wyeth's home and studio. During the tour, I did little more than look at paintings and indifferently notice a slightly narrow dining-room table. Sure, there was the occasional doorway I had to roll through without running into the frame, but it certainly wasn't like docking a shuttle to a space station. This isn't to say that the art itself wasn't beautiful and emotionally compelling to me, but it was an afternoon at a museum, and largely museums only ask their patrons to look at things without touching them. That much I can do. At the end of the experience, the jolly security guard who had escorted us through the tour patted me on the shoulder and said, 'Bet you haven't had this much fun in a loooong time, huh? You did really good!' I didn't have the heart to tell him that I had, in fact, just the day before, been a guest in a house where I was also not allowed to touch anything. And the day before that, I'd kayaked for the first time...over a tree. But still, in this man's mind, my doing nothing successfully was worthy of praise. Perhaps he imagined that I spent my days looking at empty walls wishing I had a still life oil painting of two lemons and a potato, and that I was bored to tears with my normal-size dining room table."He doesn't sound like a dick. He's intelligent and funny and clever, and he just happens to have cerebral palsy which of course, as he says, is the sexiest of all the palsies. Zach writes about wanting to be famous, learning how to be funny, figuring out how to live with his disability, but mostly, how to be human. Definitely worth the read.
    • 2/5
      Maybe the physical book would be better than the audio, because then I could speed read more and move faster through the jokes that are in every sentence, simile, description, analogy, that drag the narrative out. Sure, they're good, but it's too much, and in the audio they're drawn out as if he's expecting to be interrupted by laughter or a "ba-da-bum" on the drum set. I get why the first anecdotes are about his O network show, but then why go reverse chronology from there? When he's ending the Disney section and alludes to his future in Austin, Texas, I already know what happens in that chapter of his life because I just read it. There's nothing pulling me through the book (other than my stubbornness to read the book to the end) because I'm going backwards through his life for the most part. Also, every section ends with his life lessons. That's nice, and they're good reflections, but it gets tedious. I'd recommend this book as viewed as short stories --
      pick it up and read one, put it down and come back weeks/months later.
      Or maybe I'd connect more if I was already a fan, but to be honest I've never heard of the guy. I just saw the title in hotlists and liked the title.
      UPDATE: To be fair, it does get better (amazingly!) for the final few chapters. More mature, less gimmicky. That, or the guy just grew on me.
    • 5/5
      What an amazing spirit Zach has. A perpetual impetus of humor, tenacity, compassion and joie de vivre. Truly inspirational. Born with cerebral palsy, which he refers to as the "sexier of the palsies" he spins through life with his cast of besties and becomes a TV phenomenon. Landing an Oprah show then his own travel series, he boldly ventures where even I wouldn't dare, taking risks and laughing himself silly through them all. It has me googling him to find his zany escapade videos and more about his life. A sheer delight to read!
    • 2/5
      I received this ARE from librarything. It was a well written memoir, but I just couldn't finish it.
    • 4/5
      If At Birth You Don't Succeed by Zach Anner is a charming amalgamation of memoir, humor, and (dare I say it?) self-help. When a pitch for the book landed in my inbox, I was unfamiliar with Zach Anner, who got his start on a short-lived travel show on the OWN network and now has a significant internet following on YouTube. Anner was born prematurely and has cerebral palsy - the "sexiest of the palsies." Instead of letting his disability keep him down, Anner decided not to take life quite so seriously. For him, being handicapped is no excuse for not getting out there, traveling the world, and living life with abandon. Life might be full of disasters waiting to happen, but for this guy, that just makes more opportunities for a good laugh.Anner's book is refreshingly open, honest, and vulnerable. He doesn't gloss over the struggles of his disability to paint a "flowers and rainbows" pictures of his life. Instead, in a book rich with gratitude for all the opportunities the technology age has provided for him, Anner shows readers that it's when things don't go quite to plan on his life's journey that he has had occasion to roll with the punches, find the humor in life, and show what he's really made of.The chronology of If At Birth You Don't Succeed is a little wonky. Instead of opting for the linear, Anner dips in and out of his memories, usually drawing a lesson out of them by the end of each chapter that can be the slightest bit preachy. The chronology is a little hard to get used to, but in the end I was totally won over by this guy who was irrepressibly optimistic even at his lowest point and who is using the achievement of his life goals to make the world a little funnier and a little better place. If At Birth You Don't Succeed is a book that will make you smile. It's funny, uplifting, and also a sweet tribute to all the people whose love and care helped propel Zach on the path to his success.
    • 5/5
      If at Birth You Don't Succeed: My Adventures with Disaster and Destiny by Zach Anner is a funny, emotional, witty, inspiring book filled with unflinchingly honest wisdom. He covers his life's endeavors, internet sensations, Oprah TV series, his friendships, his family, his daily life, school, random thoughts, and more. I did a lot of soul searching and I did a lot of laughing while reading this book. Warning, have a empty bladder, giggles can happen at unexpected times! Loved this book! Fabulous writer, he knows how to be witty and touch your very soul at the same time. Great heart, great reading, wonderful!
    • 4/5
      I received this book from Library Thing in exchange for an honest review. This is Zach Anner's life so far up to age 30. Zach was born 2 months early and has cerebral palsy. But due to a loving family and fabulous friends, his disability does not define him. This books takes you through his successes, winning a show on OWN Oprah Winfrey Network, You Tube sensation and his failures, having to drop out of high school. Zach's humor and optimism shines throughout the book and there are many laugh out loud moments Each chapter covers a pivotal moment in his life and moves back and forth through his life. Sometimes this was confusing to me trying to put together what order things happened in his life. Other than that, you will meet a determined, upbeat, hilarious, gentleman, who just happens to have cerebral palsy. Recommended.
    • 5/5
      I received this book from LibraryThing as part of their Early Reviewer program. This should be required reading at every university where students cower in a corner and quake in fear, demanding a "safe space" in which to hide from any words or images that might damage their delicate little psyche. Perhaps they could learn something about confronting, overcoming and actually using "inconveniences" to their advantage.
    • 3/5
      The impression I received from reading this book is that Mr. Anner has some very good friends. I do not mean people like Oprah, but true friends, like Andrew, Josh, Aaron and others. He is a very lucky man in that respect. He was also very fortunate to have won an opportunity to do a short lived travel show for Oprah bringing him into the public's eye. This book seems to be a series of vignettes of his life story. Much of the humor is sophomoric and probably aimed at the book's audience of readers in their early twenties. I had never heard of Zach Anner prior to reading this book and so was not familiar with his sense of humor, which is in the vein of something I would relate to a couple of young men drinking at a bar and telling stories. It's targeted audience will probably get a few laughs at his attempts to have his own show, meet Cindy Crawford, and/or lose his virginity. I have not been compensated in any way (other than being given a copy of this book to review) and my opinion on the book is entirely my own.
    • 4/5
      Very good book written by Zach Anner about his life as a boy/ man with Cerebal Palsy. He tries to achieve his dreams of being the host of a travel show and talks about all the ups and downs in his life, which he tries to overcome with the help of comedy. Great writing..... I sure hope he continues to write more!
    • 4/5
      Zach Anner, whose Dad wanted to name him Benjamin* instead of Zachary, spends about 300 pages explaining why it is better to laugh than cry when life trips you up.Along the way, he lets us readers in on a little secret: he is way more than the sum of his disabilities. Additionally, in case we can't quite see beyond them, he informs us the CP is "the sexiest of all the palsies."Slowly he carries us along, wooing us with humor that veers from a 3rd grade variety to...well, a 3rd grade variety, when he slips in the truth about himself: that it is compassion that fills him. Compassion versus judgement.It is this personality quirk that made him heaven sent (I couldn't resist the pun; sorry?) for the lead in "Have a Little Faith," a TV series that lasted for two years (still available on YouTube) interviews adherents from a wide variety of religious beliefs on what their religion is all about.It takes a lot of self confidence (a hard won commodity) and a willingness to laugh at yourself (really: so much less exhausting than constantly crying) to deal with the personal "Sturm und Drang" that living with disabilities presents you with. Zach has won a fan in this reader!*BenAnner?
    • 4/5
      Irreverent but never irrelevant, That is my first thought concerning Zachary Anner. If anyone can make cerebral palsy cool, it is Zach. By the time you finish this book, you won't see a comedian in a wheelchair, you'll see a man with a great sense of humor who took what life gave him and turned lemons into pearls.