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    The Way I Used to Be
    The Way I Used to Be
    The Way I Used to Be
    Audiobook9 hours

    The Way I Used to Be

    Written by Amber Smith

    Narrated by Rebekkah Ross

    4.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    New York Times bestseller! In the tradition of Speak, Amber Smith's extraordinary debut novel “is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength” (The Boston Globe).

    Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

    What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

    Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster Audio
    Release dateMar 22, 2016
    ISBN9781442395992
    Author

    Amber Smith

    Amber Smith is the New York Times bestselling author of the young adult novels The Way I Used to Be, The Last to Let Go, Something Like Gravity, and The Way I Am Now. An advocate for increased awareness of gendered violence, as well as LGBTQ equality, she writes in the hope that her books can help to foster change and spark dialogue surrounding these issues. She grew up in Buffalo, New York, and now lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her wife and their ever-growing family of rescued dogs and cats. You can find her online at AmberSmithAuthor.com.

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    Reviews for The Way I Used to Be

    4.5/5

    917 ratings45 reviews

    What did you think?

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    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 3/5
      It was just an OK book, I had high hopes because somebody had recommended it on TikTok as one of the best books that they had ever read. But I feel but the genre was maybe just a little bit too young for me.

      Halfway through the story I was constantly wondering, “what is the point of this?“ And some things I feel the night I am at the end, but maybe they were just for character development.

      I will say, I did like the overarching message and the fact that the author gave out helpful resources at the end of the book.

      2 people found this helpful

    • 2/5
      meh..to many usless details...the main character is really selfish and bitchy also she blames other people for things that they shouldnt be blamed for and is so fickle

      2 people found this helpful

    • 2/5
      I get what the writer wanted to do but to be honest I just wanted the book to end.
      I understand the situation and the meaning behind the book but she could of did better. ??

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      I do not recommend this book.
      I picked this book up because people said it was one of the saddest things they've ever read. I didn't personally find that to be the case.
      Overrall the writing was fine, but I found the main character to be very unlikable and difficult to emphasize with for 95% of the book.
      There is an extremely disturbing scene near the end that left a very bad taste in my mouth.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 2/5
      I wanted to read this book so bad I went into it not knowing much about it. This book isn't what I thought it would be. As soon as it started I was torn apart and then I was never put back together. I'm glad she told 3 year later and I know everyone deals with this differently and I'm glad she did tell but goodness nothing good happened to her in this book it was dragged out and she drug so many people down with her. I'm glad she had Josh but honestly she was so horrible to him also. I just can't do this book I wouldn't recommend anyone to read it.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      Such a great coming of age book. It’s fascinating to basically grow up with Eden throughout her high school years

      1 person found this helpful

    • 3/5
      Kinda drawn out. Language is really bad. Good story line and getting it out there that if it has happened to you, than you should report it.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      This book. Ugh I crying so many tears at the end. I would recommend this book to everyone. Especially to the wounded souls that reallly need to hear it’s going to be ok.
    • 5/5
      This book hit too close to home. It brought up some unpleasant memories, but I’m glad I read it.
    • 4/5
      Written so so good, cried probably about 3 times while listening to this book everything the main character felt I felt while reading this, when she felt numb when she felt happy when she felt alone great writing.
    • 5/5
      Raw emotion in this book that really draws you in.
    • 5/5
      This was a great book and definitely a sad one! Highly recommend! It made me shed a few tears at the end. I loved it! If you’re looking for an emotional story that covers difficult topics, this is the book for you!
    • 5/5
      I’m still crying and shaking it was truly memorable
    • 5/5
      Listen. Share. And when it makes you uncomfortable, share again.
      Making my 13 & 15 year old read/listen. Not an easy read, but a necessary one for young adults!
    • 5/5
      One of my favorite books. Beautifully written :) Can’t wait to read more by this author
    • 5/5
      I wasn't sure if I was going to end up liking this book or not. I ended up listening to it over the course of a couple days/morning gym sessions and it made me tear up mid-workout. So caution you anyone enjoying the audiobook while in public.

      I saw a lot of reviews complaining or taking off stars because they felt like Edie didn't get enough closure at the end. The whole book leading up to the end is the internal turmoil, anger, loss of self before even understanding herself. Eden struggles with what happened to her in such a profound way that it entirely negatively encompasses and impacts her life, down to how she has been interacting not just with everyone else, but even with her friend since childhood. Just finally telling her story was the closure she needed. She knew she was messed up and cold to people she deeply cared about. And you can feel her struggle the entire story, with wanting to be warm and loving. It was a great listen, and I'll be looking for more from this author.
    • 5/5
      I cried twice!!! Triggering… Too many emotions I felt reading this book.
    • 5/5
      A very well written book. Narration was fantastic! My soul connected with Edy and my teenage self screamed for her. Loved the whole book from cover to cover.
    • 4/5
      Very good read. Heartbreaking for sure. But there is hope.
    • 3/5
      Meh, it was OK. From the 1st page, I thought it was going to be a horror or suspense, but it's not. It's another tragic run of the mill coming of age story. If that's the genre you like, this book is for you!
    • 2/5
      Trigger warning for anyone whose experienced SA. Very graphic and challenging to digest.
    • 5/5
      This story was so relatable and she depicted what could really happen to a young girl who is raped. She writes it so well and I think it’s worth the read.
    • 5/5
      Really touched me, the way her view is described is very realistic
    • 5/5
      This book was really difficult to listen to, but the story is so important. I’m glad I read it, despite how heavy and upsetting it was.
    • 5/5
      Every girl needs to read
      You have to speak up when things happen.
      Don't be afraid
    • 5/5
      This book was so well written that it made me cry. I see a lot of reviewers saying they wished there were more of a story at the end or more detailed closure. However, I felt as though the author gave Eden enough closure by allowing her to speak up. The truth of the matter is that most victims of sexual assault NEVER get closure. Eden's closure was more than most victims could hope for. Although Eden is a fictional character, her manner of dealing with what happened to her is very real. Yes, she was a crappy person/friend, but it would be unrealistic not to give her character flaws. It was a natural defense mechanism she created for herself due to the tauma she experienced. Overall, it was a great book!
    • 4/5
      Such a sad story but was hooked all the way.
    • 3/5
      I watched a review on this book and the girl mentioned this book made her laugh and cry and how wonderful it was so I thought I would give it a go. I cried alot because I know who that little broken girl is alot of women/ little girls do. I gave the book three stars for one the way it ended . I think the author could have gave some closure to Eddie and her school friend mira, Stephan as well as with her parents. she could have said what happened to Kevin. but she left to many questions open. and I'm just hope another little girl who reads this book and also know the broken little girl as well dont feel discouraged.
    • 5/5
      This is an amazing book from beginning to end! So amazing!
    • 5/5
      breath taking, never ever a book touched me that way