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Audiobook8 hours
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
Written by Melody Beattie
Narrated by Christina Moore
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
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About this audiobook
Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.
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Author
Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie is the New York Times bestselling author of Codependent No More, Beyond Codependency, and The Lessons of Love.
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Reviews for Codependent No More
Rating: 4.606694560669456 out of 5 stars
4.5/5
239 ratings28 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5very helpful, straight to the point, clearly describes disease,self diagnoises,help ful, inspirational, motivational,
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very helpful, sound advice. Includes anecdotes from recovering codependents, to highlight that we are not alone in our struggles with relationship issues.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book will help you to stop your dependency on other people. It explains how to deal with frustrations and ruined hopes, how to stop blaming others for your own misery, and finally it teaches you how to be happy and appreciate your own freedom. The writer is talking about her own life experience going into emotional details that probably known to you. The book gives strength to be responsible for your own life. I have not read anything better on the dependency topic. It is a highly recommended book by substance abuse professionals.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Since its inception in 1979, the word codependency has come to be a condition that effects more people than many may realize. The author attempts to define and demonstrate the characteristics of this condition, and how one may attempt to cope with it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I like this book and feel that it will be like a bible to me during my trying times. I feel it is a good reference and go to and was very helpful to my situation and the possiblity of handling future situations for me. I enjoy the storyies she includes and can relate to some, not all of them. However everyone goes through things in their life differently. The way she has written this book I think most anyone going through this would benefit from reading. This was recommended to me by my thereapist and I am truly glad she recommended it.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Life changing. She really makes it easy to understand. Thank you for your insight ! So grateful.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I wish she would have given examples as to how to complete the exercises. Like in the anger exercise Give examples of the myths or use it in context so that severe codependents like myself could understand how to do the exercise. There are other exercises that I’m completely lost on how to start but with examples I am sure I could do them. Other than that it was a very good book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Awesome classic, learned so much. Will apply to my life
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Love it, really helpful to understand what codependent is and how to overcome it
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5I’m on chapter 19 and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten any actual advice on how to not be codependent………it’s literally just stories about other co-dependents and then she goes into detail about the AA 12 step program and to use it to heal from codependency and I just don’t think that’s realistic. I don’t recommend.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This book did offer some insight into living as a codependent. Many of the information was geared towards someone who has an alcoholic loved one. While this is not my situation, many of the same themes exist. I took several notes to apply as I continue my Self Work. It was a relatively quick read. I would recommend it to others struggling with codependency.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Very insightful, lots of aha moments. Added pieces to the puzzle of healing m.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Really helpful content although the reader at times I felt wasn’t a great fit. It was heavy on the alcoholic as an example for her points, so the reader who is not involved with an alcoholic or substance abuser will need to stretch a bit to connect the dots for their own case’s benefit. Overall the book gave me confidence that I could overcome the strong “Shoulds” I’d nursed over the years.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book has being an amazing awakening. I listen to it and now I've bought a printed copy for my husband. Neither of us are alcoholics, but our relationship didn't go well for quite a long time. A friend recommended it to me. I believe this book is going to safe our relationship ❤ Thanks so much!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Great insight into codependency. Get ready for many practical tips for healing.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5It is well narrated .It gives wisdom to make decisions that redeem self from being a passive codependent.A must read . Jeniffer Mukweyi
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Melody traslate in simple words and examples what Codependency means. I had taken few tips for my personal life. I am deeply grateful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This pretty much defines codependency and offers great suggestions for change. I highly recommend this book to everyone; even if they do not consider themselves codependent.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Very good book. I highly recommend it!!! Love it
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Excellent book! Could not stop it, each step was healing and I needed that. Very practical. A bit perplexed about the insistence on the twelve steps and the alanon groups, which are very beneficial but not the only solution in my opinion. When I changed country I found the groups very different than the american ones I had experienced - a lot of control was practiced and I really didn’t need further toxic environment so I had to opt for an expert counselor. I cringe at the idea of going back to these groups not feeling so safe there as she described but it’s true that in the USA I did feel welcomed in the groups and loved able to see and hear my true self again... other than this perplexity, which is totally personal, the book is really helpful and matter of fact, I highly recommend it to hurting people.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is a great book on the subject. I listened to it and learned a lot. Even though I do not suffer from co-dependency, I do tend to care just a little too much. Hearing Melody Beattle's book helps me care a little less.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I would totally recommend this book to anyone who is a child of an alcoholic or has a parent with drug addiction issues. If you believe that a book can literally change your life, this book is for you. I read this at my mother's request when I was a teenager, and have read it several times since. It was probably the sole reason I am where I'm at today. I read this book and it was like a light came on in my world. I could finally see that there were other people out there like me who had the same feelings of insecurity and doubt. It showed me a better way to live.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I like this book, which does not make it easy to read. It is written clearly, and is straightforward, yet it is at times difficult to maintain focus. The stories are paramount, though none will identify will them all. Read it. Find the pearls.A Very Personal Perspective: I finally launched (well, compared to the tentative perusal I previously managed) into Codependent No More today. The initial pages of conversations with codependents are as expected in that they are generally about partners of alcoholics. Not only do I not identify with this, but despite my intellectual understanding of the fact that it isn't about the alcoholism, I dread each story. When you see nothing in common with the stories, it is difficult to find motivation to continue. By page 32, I am most thoroughly disenchanted with the conversations, although the "brief history" of the concept and naming of codependence is mildly interesting, based on the minimal description. And then on page 36, the author inks a single sentence definition of codependency. And I begin to pay attention."A codependent person is one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior."By page 37, I am interested when the author acknowledges that she is not an expert on codependence, and does not know for a fact if it is an illness. And as she offers to continue the "brief history", it is evident that she is passionate about what is and is not real with regard to this apparently self-destructive predisposition. As she goes on to describe codependence, I am struck by the thought that she is describing every compassionate human being that ever lived, every humanitarian that made a difference, and every individual who ever reached out a hand to a person in need. I am reminded of a quote that has personified me and haunted me for most of my adult life."your greatest strength can become your greatest weakness." And I am compelled to read on, for how can something so purely benevolent become something so utterly self-destructive? I know that I am looking for an answer, and yet it is unlikely that I will find one. For if I have learned anything in this world, it is that there are no silver bullets, no ultimate solutions to end human mistakes, discomfort and error, to end human suffering and stagnation, or to remove roadblocks to human progress. There are only conversations and possibilities. Ultimately, we must choose our conversations, opt to expand our thoughts, and fearlessly open up to the possibilities. And so I read on.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This is one of those books that I need to re-read every so often. There is a great deal of information I can use...I just need to be willing to take the time and review it.
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to untangle yourself from your own needs in a relationship and start being nice to yourself.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A good, basic, all-around self-help book. This one is a great start for anyone with unhealthy patterns and long strings of horrible relationships.The original target audience for this book (and its concepts) were significant others of alcoholics. Yet many (including myself) have found the patterns of a codependent apply to anyone with unhealthy attachments to others.At the time I read this, I was just getting out of a bad marriage. I was terribly depressed to the point of being near-non-functional. This book gave me some basic building blocks for climbing that first step towards sanity. I learned I didn't have to be absorbed by someone else to be happy. I learned I needed to take care of myself first, then others.With a little imagination, the basic dynamics detailed in this book can also be seen in social dynamics of larger groups. The unhealthy clinging, manipulations, and drama that lead to petty infighting (in smaller groups) and political dysfunction (on a societal scale).
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Estoy en un programa de 12 pasos, me ayudó muchísimo!
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The message of this book is important. Anyone can become codependent and it is a good tool to be able to recognize the signs and symptoms in oneself and to move forward in healthy relationship dynamics. Beattie's rambling writing style is not my favorite. The body of the work could benefit from some headings and bullet points. I recommend (at least for skimming) if there are any hints of codependency in one's personal relationships, workplace dynamics, family, or friend groups.