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Audiobook9 hours
Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life
Published by Penguin Random House Audio
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
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About this audiobook
An Amazon Best Book of 2016
The counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year.
The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you'll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility-emotional agility.
Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life's twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world-their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk-that ultimately determines how successful they will become.
The way we respond to these internal experiences drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health-everything that matters in our lives. As humans, we are all prone to common hooks-things like self-doubt, shame, sadness, fear, or anger-that can too easily steer us in the wrong direction. Emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. The key difference is that they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small but powerful changes that lead to a lifetime of growth. Emotional agility is not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts; it's about holding them loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to bring the best of yourself forward.
Drawing on her deep research, decades of international consulting, and her own experience overcoming adversity after losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can thrive in an uncertain world by becoming more emotionally agile. To guide us, she shares four key concepts that allow us to acknowledge uncomfortable experiences while simultaneously detaching from them, thereby allowing us to embrace our core values and adjust our actions so they can move us where we truly want to go.
Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility serves as a road map for real behavioral change-a new way of acting that will help you reach your full potential, whoever you are and whatever you face.
The counterintuitive approach to achieving your true potential, heralded by the Harvard Business Review as a groundbreaking idea of the year.
The path to personal and professional fulfillment is rarely straight. Ask anyone who has achieved his or her biggest goals or whose relationships thrive and you'll hear stories of many unexpected detours along the way. What separates those who master these challenges and those who get derailed? The answer is agility-emotional agility.
Emotional agility is a revolutionary, science-based approach that allows us to navigate life's twists and turns with self-acceptance, clear-sightedness, and an open mind. Renowned psychologist Susan David developed this concept after studying emotions, happiness, and achievement for more than twenty years. She found that no matter how intelligent or creative people are, or what type of personality they have, it is how they navigate their inner world-their thoughts, feelings, and self-talk-that ultimately determines how successful they will become.
The way we respond to these internal experiences drives our actions, careers, relationships, happiness, health-everything that matters in our lives. As humans, we are all prone to common hooks-things like self-doubt, shame, sadness, fear, or anger-that can too easily steer us in the wrong direction. Emotionally agile people are not immune to stresses and setbacks. The key difference is that they know how to adapt, aligning their actions with their values and making small but powerful changes that lead to a lifetime of growth. Emotional agility is not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts; it's about holding them loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to bring the best of yourself forward.
Drawing on her deep research, decades of international consulting, and her own experience overcoming adversity after losing her father at a young age, David shows how anyone can thrive in an uncertain world by becoming more emotionally agile. To guide us, she shares four key concepts that allow us to acknowledge uncomfortable experiences while simultaneously detaching from them, thereby allowing us to embrace our core values and adjust our actions so they can move us where we truly want to go.
Written with authority, wit, and empathy, Emotional Agility serves as a road map for real behavioral change-a new way of acting that will help you reach your full potential, whoever you are and whatever you face.
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Reviews for Emotional Agility
Rating: 4.202898565217391 out of 5 stars
4/5
138 ratings26 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It took me 10 months to finish this book. Clearly not a good sign. The information is really good, but something about the writing just put me to sleep.
I'll add more later. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I had a hard time getting through this book, to be honest. Self-help books aren't usually in my wheelhouse, but this one found a home on my shelf. I definitely appreciated the wording used in the book. Rather than making the reader feel like what they were experiencing or feeling was wrong, and trying to correct these "errors," the author focuses on helping the reader realize that yes, these feelings are valid, and take the next steps to make a change.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I'm not a fan of self help books but it was interesting enough in small bites.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The core idea is pretty simple: put your emotions in perspective and handle them wisely. Easier said that done! But this book explains it step by step, in a clear and engaging tone, using plenty of examples which I found familiar and relevant. I think it does a great diagnostic of situations, but found it lacking in practical solutions.Overall, the style is similar to Malcolm Gladwell books (he is even quoted in the text), with all its goods and bads.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Emotions happen. Acknowledge, accept and deal with them. While happiness is what is believed to be the ultimate goal for a healthy and well-adjusted life, the "pursuit of" part seems to be forgotten. This books reminds us that even negative emotions (within reason) are good for us and do not signal that we have failed. Embracing the imperfections that make us human is what will ensure we have the energy and resources to treat ourselves humanly. It was a bit distracting at times, as it is filled with many pop culture references; if you're unfamiliar, you might get lost. While there are plenty of examples to make you understand the problem, there are few strategies that allow the growth towards emotional agility.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I have always enjoyed thinking about thinking, and so I found the book Emotional Agility to be a pleasant read. The author encourages us not to get stuck in destructive thought processes. Instead, we should create distance between ourselves and the thought, and treat the thought we are hooked on in a non-judgmental fashion as a piece of information about our emotional state. David gives real-life examples of how people get hooked into their thought patterns, and examples of how to unhook, which I felt brought clarity to how this information may apply to real-life issues. She also explained the adaptive value of some of our emotional states, for instance discussing how anger may make us less prone to confirmation bias. Another gem of wisdom that stuck with me from this text: we tend to attribute the negative behaviors of others due to traits, while we attribute our own negative behaviors to circumstances (misinterpretation of intentions). I am in the field of dietetics and health promotion, so I also appreciated the discussion of the importance of being intrinsically rather than extrinsically motivated. Also mentioned was the importance of switching your environment so that when your stress level is high, the healthy choice is the easiest. In today's hectic society, I am happy to embrace ideas that will help lower the allostatic load of our population, and this book was full of them. My only criticism is that I felt there were not many new concepts for those of us who already have some foundation in this subject matter. However, I would highly recommend this quick read to beginners in this genre who are feeling emotionally stuck.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Here's another title in the overcrowded field of self-help books on mental health. These books are huge sellers that attract a lot of attention, and then collect dust because correcting habits in thinking and feeling is harder work than just reading about it. This is an easy, quick read, but has some flaws. David places emphasis on keeping a journal of one's thoughts. But, that soon would turn off many ordinary folks who hate to write. She also falls into the trap of relativism. In her discussion of values, she says, "I don't think that inflexible notions or right and wrong help us much." In my book, that puts a reader's emotional stability on shaky ground! There is wisdom in David's book but none that hasn't already appeared in other books on pop-psychology.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Life isn't perfect and would be boring if it were. Live. Life is going to have stress, hurt feelings, mistakes will be made. Use this book to help create your life the way you really want it to be. Open up to accepting some challenges that may end in failure. Use emotional agility to break from a negative self-image, anxiety, depression. "Emotional agility is a process that allows you to be in the moment...not ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts...but..facing them courageously.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I had high hopes for this book, and the premise was very compelling. Unfortunately, I felt like the author got lost in examples and bullet points. The concept of emotional agility is a critical one, but I didn't feel like this book provided much help in achieving it. Still an interesting read, but without the substantive points I was hoping for.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I received this book from Early Reviewers and wasn't sure what to expect since the topic and the approach is so varied. I was hoping for something different than many of the books current popular on mindfulness and being present but didn't get a clear sense that the information provided was really that different. I have yet to put. In action some of the suggestions so I can't say if her approach is effective or not. Regardless, we can all use the help and even one new way of looking at yourself or others or one new habit is always worth the read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I can't say enough good about Emotional Agility. It is sad to realize that in this day of plenty so many people suffer from depression and anxiety. Emotional Agility is full of wisdom for these woes. Susan David walks us through ways to dance your way through troubles. Don't think it's another of those dry textbook self-help books, though; David shares lots of wonderful stories that make her ideas more real and more clear.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Practical theories and application of being more agile emotionally. I have already prevented several negative situations. Self, work, spousal, and parenting.
- Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5i tried to convince myself otherwise but it is pure waste of time to read or listen to this
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5helped me a lot. nice book to read. wasn't waste of time at all
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Such an insightful, rich, and informative book.
I listened to it twice to make sure I take notes of some of its pearls of wisdom.
The most important of which is "Courage is not the absence of fear; it is fear walking." - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Mind Opening #Truly Enlightenment
U will be changed by this book - Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This book was very insightful and practical. Definitely recommend for people who want to get to know themselves better
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The book filled with great information and how to apply it in everyday life. And I loved how funny the author is.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I actually bought a copy of this new book to read because I have had decades of experience in the EQ (Emotional Quotient) field. I found it to be well-written - and the author has a quiz you can take online to help you better understand where you are on the spectrum!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Love it, everyone should read or listen this book. The author knows a lot about the topic
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This is an informative book about how to deal with one’s emotions in a positive and realistic manner. Susan David contradicts much of the simplistic advice found in popular literature. She avoids a grit-your-teeth-and-bear-it approach or, at the opposite spectrum, the smile-and-all-the-world-will-smile-with-you technique. Unfortunately, in an apparent attempt to write for a popular audience, David’s useful coaching gets lost amidst an abundance of trivial illustrations and distracting chatter.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Susan David’s writings demonstrate a wealth of knowledge on the subject of better understanding your emotions and how to not let them control you. There are several point she made throughout the course of her presentation that I liked. The argument doesn’t mention, but supports works like Marsha Linehan’s concept of “Radical acceptance”. Susan’s comments are helpful in helping people better understand the importance of letting go. To not be caught up in the emotional traps that “hook” us in to not moving forward in our life we must accept before we move forward. I liked her comments on the idea that happiness is over rate and what is the healthy alternative. Her comment on self-comparison as the antidote for shame was well written and gets to the point of how to walk away from the emotion of shame. She taught me a new word when discussing the common issue with not being able to communicate emotion, Alexithymia. What I got was, perhaps some of the biggest barriers to treatment and change are not accepting and expressing. Despite spending little time on mindfulness and being in the moment, I like her explanation of the push of the past and the pull of the future. I also like comments about values being more related to quality not quantity. I liked her section on “Walking Your Why”.It is clear that her years of experience in the field of mental health has developed into an extremely knowledgeable and helpful approach to dealing with emotions and getting people unstuck with issues that seem to plague their lives. Her including statistical research only further supported her view on the emotional dilemmas that keep us stuck and what we might do to get unstuck. I was slightly disappointed in the case of using the evolution of monkeys/apes to discuss why men think or perform in certain ways. I will admit this is a pet peeve of mind, but the comments she makes are not supported by observatory facts as her other research she quotes. Such comments are purely hypothetical and does not deliver any value to her point as there are many hypothesis that could explain the same trait in the human condition. I also felt at times the writings on “Moving On” was at times to “pep talky”. Having said that I felt the book would do any reader a great deal of benefit to read it. Her stories did a great job of illustrating points so the book was easy to understand and use. I felt the skills she taught are very helpful. If you are at a stuck point in your life. This would be a recommended book by me.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Pros: David’s writing is clear, concise and fluid, making this an easy and pleasant read. She describes tons of research/studies/experiments, which are not only fascinating, but provide solid and persuasive backup for her points. Even a few anecdotes from David’s own life were included to give the book a personal touch. Cons: A lot of the topics in the book were ones I’d already read about from other psychology sources (college textbooks and psych. articles). While it’s great to consolidate all relevant topics into one self-help book, it wasn’t as “new” or “eye opening” as I had hoped. I also feel like this is more of an idea book than a practical book. A lot of ideas are presented, but there isn’t really instruction on how to apply the ideas. (Maybe she could have ended each chapter with strategies or worksheets to provide more guidance.) There was one instance in the book where she broke down an example of a concept into smaller, step-by-step pieces to explain it better. I would have liked to have seen more of that.Bottom Line: I don’t regret reading this book since it was interesting, but I don’t feel like it’s helped me much and I’m not inspired to go around recommending it to other people. Maybe self-help books just aren’t for me.Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life, is Susan David, the CEO of consulting company called Evidence Based Psychology. Her book came into my life at a good time, as I have been feeling stuck a lot lately. The concept of the internal chatterbox struck a chord for me – it’s nice to have a label for it, as it helps me articulate the concept to others. I really valued the author’s examples, and found them to be applicable and relatable to everyday life. I especially enjoyed the statements at the end of the last chapter. They’re almost like little mantras you can take with you. I recommend this book for Generation X, as that’s the demographic I think would be most helped by the concepts in the book.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5An exploration of the theme of "emotional agility." The author relies upon her own experience and her work as a psychologist to discuss the role of emotions in our lives and how we can manage them effectively. She speaks of how most people find themselves "hooked": they remain "stuck" in a given emotional state. They listen too much to the voices in their heads that bring them down; they look at themselves according to negative self-talk; they still ruminate over bad experiences and feelings of the past. She speaks of how we address emotions: we tend to bottle or brood, either suppressing emotion or giving full vent to them. She identifies the primary emotions (happiness, sadness, fear, disgust, anger, contempt, surprise), and notes how only one is truly "positive," and asks whether the rest exist to provide benefits even if uncomfortable. She then provides a discussion of healthy practices that help a person go from being emotionally hooked and stuck to more agile and thriving: to show up (to show compassion to yourself, to be willing to do things as opposed to forced to do them, and to be willing to learn from one's emotional reactions), step out (be willing to consider what you are feeling and why, figure out their functions, learn from your reactions, and be mindful), walk your why (make decisions which allow you to live according to your values), and move on (find the small changes to be made in thought, feeling, and action, know how far you can go, challenge yourself, do what can be done). From here the author speaks about how to manifest emotional agility at work and with children. The perspective is excellent and useful. The author finds what is commendable about a lot of leadership attitude promotion and other such fads but points out their negatives (i.e. avoidance is the enemy of the good and great, not good as enemy of great; grit is great until it is misdirected to seek to accomplish what cannot feasibly be accomplished, etc.). She pinpoints a lot of the difficulties people have in terms of living in healthy ways and the ways we allow emotions to saddle us with negativity. Worth consideration.
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- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I had a difficult time at first with this book. It started out "uneven" - not an smooth flow of ideas. But as I kept going, I read a section that seemed to address my own emotional "stuckness" problem. That kept me going. I'm glad I did. Most of the books I've read lately tell me it's simple to just "think positive" and be thankful. That's supposedly how you can turn your life around. I've been trying to follow that advice and with only some success. There still seemed to be something missing. Susan David's approach shows why it doesn't help to smother distressing feelings and stress with positive affirmations. She gives advice on how to recognize emotional roadblocks and negative setbacks so we can learn from them and see our options for moving past them. These lessons help us understand who we are and where we've been. We learn how to stop reacting to our feelings and habits.. The author shows us how to adjust the way we see things. I especially liked the chapter on "Making Choices". Stressing about stress compounds the problem. What we need to do is adjust our relationship to it. Emotional Agility is about getting on with life. It's a very helpful book.
1 person found this helpful