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    Autobiography of a Face
    Autobiography of a Face
    Autobiography of a Face
    Audiobook5 hours

    Autobiography of a Face

    Written by Lucy Grealy

    Narrated by Coleen Marlo

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    "I spent five years of my life being treated for cancer, but since then I've spent fifteen years being treated for nothing other than looking different from everyone else. It was the pain from that, from feeling ugly, that I always viewed as the great tragedy of my life. The fact that I had cancer seemed minor in comparison."

    At age nine, Lucy Grealy was diagnosed with a potentially terminal cancer. When she returned to school with a third of her jaw removed, she faced the cruel taunts of classmates. In this strikingly candid memoir, Grealy tells her story of great suffering and remarkable strength without sentimentality and with considerable wit. Vividly portraying the pain of peer rejection and the guilty pleasures of wanting to be special, Grealy captures with unique insight what it is like as a child and young adult to be torn between two warring impulses: to feel that more than anything else we want to be loved for who we are, while wishing desperately and secretly to be perfect.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTantor Media, Inc
    Release dateSep 6, 2016
    ISBN9781515981213

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    Reviews for Autobiography of a Face

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    • 3/5
      Another perspective of the story starting at Sarah Lawrence is by Ann Patchett, Truth and Beauty
    • 4/5
      I found it interesting to read this soon after Ann Patchett's Truth and Beauty, knowing when their lives intersect, seeing what Grealy chose to leave out, and then wondering what other details she left out. The edition I read included an afterword by Ann Patchett that talked about how the author shapes a memoir by deciding what to put in and what to leave out. It's sort of like choosing the message the author wants to convey and picking through the events of her life for those that support this message. What was Lucy Grealy's underlying message? What I got was the disconnect between how we see ourselves and how others see us, the larger question of what constitutes "beauty," and the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of our own lives, mostly in terms of punishments and rewards for our actions and thoughts. The writing in this book is rich, as are the ideas. I think I will be pondering over this one for quite a while.
    • 4/5
      Good moving story of a disfigured girl and how she coped with it.
    • 5/5
      This was a difficult book to read, but one which I found beautifully written despite the emotional and physical pain suffered by the author throughout her entire story. As a child of nine, she was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma, which is a cancer that was treated with radical facial surgery. In order to prevent a recurrence of the life-threatening cancer, she had to undergo two and a half years of chemotherapy. Following that, she endured years and years of mostly disappointing plastic surgery on her jawline. She never felt that her face was sufficiently acceptable in the view of others although she was able to make friends after high school, attend college and direct her career toward writing. This book made me want to be her friend. She always seemed so lonely and misunderstood because of her appearance. Her greatest solace during her younger years was with her companionship and work with horses. Both of the horses that she once owned met untimely ends. It all seemed so unfair. In this book, the author mentioned a lot about flap procedures for plastic surgery. As a surgical oncology nurse back in the 1960s and 1970s, I remember patients with those flap procedures. They were horrible. Fortunately the author never had any of those that were proposed to her, but the surgical procedures which she did have (there were so many!) had terrribly disappointing results. It all seems unfair to me that a child had to suffer such a fate and continue to endure hardships as what this author faced year after year. She was a very brave person for telling her own story with such eloquence.
    • 4/5
      Lucy Grealy was a typical nine-year-old girl until a random playground accident revealed a deeper problem: she had a rare, usually fatal form of childhood cancer called Ewing's sarcoma. After surgery, radiation and chemotherapy, she is left with only part of her jaw remaining. Reconstructive surgery is disappointing; plastic surgeons promise good results, but the artificial jaws they create out of skin and bone grafts are continually reabsorbed by her body. Grealy was left with with a deep sense of being ugly and unlovable, despite her blossoming intelligence and literary sensibility. This sense of being hopelessly disfigured was reinforced by the continual rounds of teasing she endured in junior high and even in high school.Autobiography of a Face is Grealy's memoir in essays about her difficult coming of age in the 1970s and 1980s. She does come across as self-absorbed, but her insights into truth and beauty (to borrow the title of one of the book's strongest chapters, as well as the title of the book her friend Ann Patchett wrote about Grealy) make this book still well worth reading some seventeen years after her death.
    • 4/5
      Lucy Grealy was nine years old when she was diagnosed with Ewing’s Sarcoma, an aggressive bone cancer, in her right jaw. The surgery and chemo helped save her life but left her with disfiguring scars. What is more important to your sense of self that to recognize yourself in the mirror? What if the face you saw in the mirror was one you could not bear to look at? A face that could not possibly reflect the you inside? Grealy became a renowned poet, and her way with words shows here. She writes so eloquently and honestly about what she went through and how she felt growing up “ugly.” She writes about being the “special” kid in a family of four, getting more of her parents’ attention, skipping school, good friends, how she dealt with bullies, and how she became addicted to the pain killers she was prescribed following major surgery. Her life was not all tragic, however; she also remembers moments of joy and humorous escapades. The memoir was first published in 1994. The edition I had included an afterword written after Grealy’s death in 2002, by her friend and fellow Iowa Writers Workshop student, Ann Patchett.
    • 4/5
      When Lucy Grealy was 9 years old she was diagnosed with cancer, requiring a third of her jaw to be removed. While chemotherapy and radiation eventually made her cancer-free, reconstructing her jaw would be a very long and complicated process. Lucy faced her many surgeries with courage; dealing with friends, classmates, and adolescence in general was another matter entirely. More than anything, Lucy wanted not just to be accepted, but to be loved and desired. This book, published when Lucy was 31, is her story of personal growth. But it is so much more than a “disease memoir.” My edition included an afterword by her best friend, the author Ann Patchett, who does a far better job than I could at explaining this book as a work of literature, dealing with universal truths in the context of Lucy’s illness:This is a book that understands how none of us ever feel we are pretty enough while it makes us question the very concept of beauty. It touches on our fears that love and approval are things we will always have to struggle to keep. It takes something so personal and so horrible that it is, for most of us, completely beyond our comprehension, and turns it into a mirror on ourselves.Lucy was a poet and writer, who sadly died at age 39. Her talent is evident in the way she used her personal story, her quest for “beauty,” to create that mirror. I only wish we could hear more from her.
    • 2/5
      I'm not sure how I feel about this book. There were times it made me pity Lucy, times I truly identified with her, times I could not understand her thought process at all. I was horrified how her parents handled her illness and was stunned at the medical profession's nonchalance about her emotional state during the 30 years we read about her life. So the book was successful from the point that I really felt for a time that I understood what she had gone through.However, I was disappointed at the end. I had hoped that she would have come to some conclusion, or at least, less ambivalence about her situation, but that did not happen. I didn't expect her to start skipping around but I thought she might find a sliver of nirvana or peace. Although the final words hint at that, they never go so far and it felt more like a "required wrap up" for the book to end in so many words than a real conclusion.
    • 3/5
      I didn't love this book, but it was good. Well-written and solid with a strong core to it. And even someone who hasn't had cancer can find universal concepts in Grealy's story that they can relate to, that makes a good book.
    • 5/5
      What a wonderful reflection on a difficult life! At the age of 9, Grealy was diagnosed with cancer and subsequently had half of her lower jaw removed. Following this surgery, young Grealy had radiation, chemotherapy and multiple surgeries to repair her dentition and to attempt to reconstruct her jaw. Throughout her childhood and young adulthood, the author essentially defined herself by her illness and treatments, and anticipated that her life would "begin" when her face was fixed. Grealy's style is frank and open, and the reader must admire her relative fearlessness. As an adult writing about her unusual childhood, she honestly assesses her actions and motivations and gives us a picture of a bright, resilient girl. The bulk of the book is spent on her childhood, and the last few chapters rush through her young adulthood and the continuing surgeries, one of which finally restores a portion of her jaw.Though most of us never have to face disfigurement such as Lucy Grealy did, as a reader I could still identify with her childish belief in "if only." If only her face were not disfigured, everything would be perfect in her life. If only she had a beautiful face she would find love. If only her family were not so "different," life would be ideal. I believe most humans have some glimmer of this belief: if only I were more attractive, more intelligent, thinner, wealthier, THEN everything would be perfect. I found the end of this book to be a bit of a letdown, mostly because I had bought into Grealy's assumption that everything would be fine once her jaw was repaired. Of course it did not live up to her expectations and of course she now has to learn, as all of us do, to live with the cards she's been dealt.In spite of (or perhaps because of) her hardships, Grealy has been academically and intellectually successful. She is an accomplished poet and teacher, she has had vibrant friendships, she has been able to travel and live in various places, and she seems to have a full life. I did feel that the story ended a bit abruptly. After laying her childhood bare, Grealy seems to have held back with regard to her adulthood. Perhaps her recent experiences are too recent for her to view clearly and comment on.The bullying and teasing Grealy suffered did not play as large a role in the story as I had expected, although it was clear that the taunts deeply affected the author and her sense of self worth. I was appalled at the behavior she described. I know children can be mean and see depictions of teasing and bullying all the time, but I did not experience this sort of behavior (or I was blissfully unaware of it) and I did not inflict it. I cannot understand people who have no empathy, especially for someone whose appearance and situation are so obviously out of her control.Overall, I found this to be a thoroughly engrossing and ultimately uplifting memoir. Highly recommended!I did mark a few passages that stood out to me:One had to be good. One must never complain or struggle. One must never, under any circumstances, show fear and, prime directive above all, one must never, ever cry. I was nothing if not hars. Had I not found myself in the role of sick child, I would have made an equally good fascist or religious martyr.+++Gradually my earliest memories of Ireland transformed into pure myth. Where I was now was not only no good, it was getting worse all the time. The flawless times of the family were past; I had missed them simply by being born too late. I began a lifelong affair with nostalgia, with only the vaguest notions of what I was nostalgic for.+++I resolved to Believe, even in the face of this lack of response. Was it possible to prove my worthiness by repeatedly asking the question, even in th the brunt of this painful silence? In the same way I was sure I could prove my love, and lovability, to my mother by showing her I could "take it," I considered the idea that what God wanted from me was to keep trying and trying and trying, no matter how difficult it was. My goal, and my intended reward, was to understand.+++In my carefully orchestrated shabbiness, I was hoping to beat the world to the finish line by showing that I already knew I was ugly. Still, all the while, I was secretly hoping that in the process some potential lover might accidentally notice I was wearing my private but beautiful heart on my stained and fraying sleeve.
    • 4/5
      It was a great read. Some of her sentences really struck a nerve.
      let me go find one...................

      About the way kids at school have to pick teams. (and they still do this nowadays and I remember how horrible that was. I was never picked last but always nearly last and that hurt. I hated sports and especially the picking).
      "How could one doubt that the order in which one was picked for the softball team was anything but concurrent with the order in which Life would be handing out favors?"

      She wrote this book in such an honest way, sometimes really tough to read. weirdly enough i did recognise a lot, especially the part about having pain and such and feeling so insecure.

      Now I want to read Ann Pratchet's book: Truth and Beauty. I might treat myself.
      I do not know how she died but I am sure I will find out.
    • 4/5
      Lucy Grealy writes beautifully of her struggles with childhood cancer and how deformity, socially defined, challenges perceptions of beauty, self and worth as. Her painful journey results finally in her own definition. Unfortunately, I read her memoir in the form of an ebook that was riddled with typos. There were so many that they were distracting. Obviously, this has no impact on her work but it is a shame.
    • 5/5
      Lucy Grealy lived a life few of us can imagine. Diagnosed with a rare form of cancer at age nine, she spent the next five years of her life undergoing surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. When the treatments were over, she had lost a third of her jaw and the opportunity to look like a normal person. Grealy conveys this experience with precision and clarity, but what really shines about the book is how easily we can empathize with a life so different from our own. Isolation, longing for love, and desperation for approval are human emotions that we can all identify with, even if Grealy experienced them at a far greater magnitude than we have known. At times, I longed to shake her, to beg her to talk to someone about her problems, and above all, to recognize that she is and always was a beautiful woman -- not just intellectually, but physically as well. The photographs I have seen of her are absolutely magnetic. Yet, Grealy began cancer treatment in a decade where little psychological support was offered to survivors. Who can fault a nine-year-old girl for getting lost in her head in those circumstances? And who can help but be amazed by the story she grew up to write? She is unflinchingly honest about herself and the people around her, so she portrays them all as complex human beings with strengths and flaws. Her observations about suffering and beauty are vivid, complicated, and true, and I felt a genuine sense of loss when I discovered she died of a drug overdose ten years after the book's completion.
    • 4/5
      At age 9 Lucy was diagnosed with a cancer of the jaw. In this nonfiction memoir she chronicles her 5-year battle with the cancer and then the years that followed, during which she has dozens of reconstructive surgeries. More than the disease though, it's about Grealy's battle with learning to accept herself and feel comfortable in her own skin. It's about the universal struggle of feeling ugly. Grealy's story is a tragic one, but it's also beautiful. "Beauty, as defined by society at large, seemed to be only about who was best at looking like everyone else."If you find a copy to read, male sure it includes the afterward by author Ann Patchett that was added in 2003. Patchett was one of Grealy's best friends and later wrote the book "Truth and Beauty" about their friendship. I think she sums up Grealy's book perfectly with this... "In the right hands, a memoir is the flecks of gold panned out of a great, muddy river. A memoir is those flecks melted down into a shapeable liquid that can be molded and hammered into a single, bright band to be worn on a finger, something you could say, "Oh this, this is my life." Everyone has a muddy river, but very few have the vision, patience and talent to turn it into something beautiful."
    • 5/5
      Lucy Grealy's memoir was in a word, amazing. She chronicles her battle with cancer and subsequent reconstructive surgeries with candor and humility. Starting with diagnosis at age 9 and continuing through her twenties she tells the story so that you think your hearing it directly from her 12 year old self, her 15 year old self and so on. She has the reader's sympathy, but not pity, quite a feat in a memior. I've never read anything quite like it, shewas a talent unmatched.
    • 5/5
      Please read this completely disarming book about a child with cancer, who grows up to become a marvelous poet and author, so gifted and raw. Sure, her story ends sadly later, but that doesn't make this book any less true. Maybe the best autobiography I've ever read.
    • 4/5
      I am having trouble writing my review for [Autobiography of a Face], by [[Lucy Grealy]], because I am so afraid I will not do it justice. This is a beautiful, brave and candid memoir of Lucy’s battle with cancer and subsequent multiple surgeries. It is not maudlin, but witty and insightful. I was afraid to read it, because I, too, grew up with lots of medical issues and I didn’t want to plumb those angry, fearful memories again. Did it touch upon those raw nerves? Yes, but just a touch. I found myself focused more intently on the beauty of her writing, and that would have made Grealy so happy. In the afterward, Lucy’s friend [[Ann Patchett]] explains that during her book readings, Lucy “was not there as a role model for overcoming obstacles. She was a serious writer, and she wanted her book to be judged for its literary merit and not its heartbreaking content.” Done! I loved it. Her voice is honest and lyric and her book is so much more than a medical diary. She delves inside the pain of being different, the secret desire to be perfect, and the ways in which our parents and circumstances shape (sometimes unwittingly) who we become. One more point before I go. [[Patchett]] also wrote a book, entitled [Truth and Beauty] in which she shares Lucy’s life from her point of view as a friend in college and graduate school. Several people have said that they found it strange that Patchett is not mentioned in Grealy’s book. Not so much. Autobiography of a Face is centered far more on Lucy’s childhood and her family and Patchett entered the picture much later. I will say that I far prefer the character of Grealy in her own book, rather than the needy, sex-driven girl portrayed in Patchett’s book. An interesting contrast none-the-less.
    • 4/5
      Lucy Grealy's memoir chronicles her experience surviving a childhood cancer that forced the removal of a large part of her jaw leaving her face severely disfigured. She helps us understand the experience of being "grotesquely" different, as both a child and an adult. In adulthood, she attends the writing program at Sarah Lawrence where she meets Ann Patchett (and the two become dear friends, a friendship that becomes the centerpoint of Patchett's stunning memoir, Truth and Beauty.)Lucy goes on to attend the Iowa Writer's Workshop and the publication of this book brings her national writing acclaim. But it never solves the problem of the intense aloneness she feels in the world, wondering if anyone will ever truly love her, a hunger she can't manage to feed.Honest and horrifying in parts. A brilliant memoir.
    • 3/5
      Pretty good account of the life of a disfigured girl (from disease).
    • 2/5
      Read this after reading [book: Truth and Beauty] by Ann Patchett. These two books should be read as a pair.
    • 3/5
      A beautifully written memoir filled with good writing and pyschological hauntings.
    • 4/5
      Autobiography of a Face is Lucy Grealy's honest and unflinching look at her own life. It all starts when her jaw collides with a fourth grade classmate. Then she is diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma, a cancer with only a 5% survival rate, in her jaw. Over time, she goes through not only grueling chemotherapy, but also the removal of part of her jaw (causing the disfiguration of her face) and the countless reconstructive surgeries that follow. Lucy's story is both inspirational and real. I admire how she admits inconsistencies in her memory, her innermost thoughts, and her insecurities. I liked that she didn't sugarcoat things. She talked about the things she thought as a child, whether they made sense or not, like did her wanting to feel special make her sick or was she too ugly to be loved? She illustrates how painful and time consuming the treatment for cancer is. The side effects for chemotherapy that she had were vomiting, weight loss, radiation burns, loss of appetite, pain, hair loss, and damaged teeth. This doesn't even include the initial removal of part of her jaw (and her disfigured face). To go through this as an adult is unimaginable to me, let alone as a child. Throughout her life, Lucy experiences many of the same things that most people do, like her awkward relationship with her parents, the painful teasing and tormenting from schoolyard bullies, envy of normal children, fear of death, and her insecurities about her looks. The media's perception of the nature of beauty is so different from real people, that I can understand why the body image issues that typically plague young girls would be so much worse for Lucy. Growing up is hard enough to do without the extra complications she had to go through. Just a side note: I first heard of this book because Chuck Palahniuk named it as an inspiration behind Invisible Monsters. These two books are very different from each other, but are excellent in their own right.
    • 2/5
      Beautifully written, but sad & depressing.
    • 2/5
      Wonderful writing, but artful I think in what she leaves out. Having previously read Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett, I think the reality lies somewhere between the two. Horrible journey for anyone, though she's resourceful enough to find silver linings throughout. The sparse detail lends an emeciated feel to the lack of family support and enouragement. Would recommend to anyone wanting a different kind of autobiography, especially women's perspective.
    • 4/5
      Grealy was diagnosed with Ewing's Sarcoma at the age of nine. From then on, her life was divided into two parts before and after cancer. After the surgery to remove half her jaw, Grealy spent over two years enduring weekly chemotherapy treatments. When she was finally declared 'healthy', Grealy returned to the sixth grade -- only to be met with scorn and cruelty from her classmates.Her story is written clearly and concisely. She is unerringly honest about how her disease affected her family, her developing personality, and those around her. As we follow her through years of skin and bone grafts, we witness her need or acceptance from others and her gradual acceptance of herself.I was particularly struck by Grealy's need to be 'strong.' She is constantly reminded not to cry and to never show fear. This begins Grealy's quest to be the model patient. I am amazed that this small child was able to internalize and minimize her emotions, suffering, and considerable pain. To me, she seemed like an adult soul in a child's body.I recommend Autobiography of a Face -- it is a moving and meaningful read.
    • 4/5
      I really enjoyed this book. It was extremely well written and I found it quite beautiful, even though the content was heartbreaking. I know it's easy for me to say, but why not just stop having all the operations and just move on? I know she was young and I don't know what happened after she wrote this book. (I intend to read Truth and Beauty next.. and that might give more insight). It seems that she was finally able to accept herself for everything she was, which made me feel good. I can't even imagine going through everything she did at such a young age. But above all, this book kept me interested and was very well written.
    • 3/5
      I was somewhat disappointed by this book after reading Ann Patchett's "Truth and Beauty" which was really amazing. My edition included Ann's comments at the end, in which she emphasized that Lucy wanted her book to be evaluated more for its writing skill than the story. I was moved by the story, and garnered a greater understanding of Lucy Grealy by the end of the book (she seemed an odd, unfocused, unmotivated, quirky, self-centered type of friend in Ann's book, one that I could not imagine being friends with). In this volume, I understood why she became the person that she did. In terms of its writing quality, I felt there were too many realizations that were incongruent with a child's understanding -- too many ah-ha moments that a child would never have, no matter the circumstances. Perhaps I'm being too hard, that it is difficult to write a memoir without infusing one's adults thoughts into the details. She does a great job with showing our cultural emphasis on beauty, and how despite the fact that she survived this cancer (and others were less fortunate and less obviously whole), she would never find her own beauty, nor believe that others could see it in her.I would recommend this book to people who read Ann Patchett's book, as well as to those who need or want to better understand childhood cancer more.
    • 4/5
      Reviewed October 1998 Lucy contracted cancer of the jaw at 9 years old, to remove the cancer doctors took one-half of her jaw. She experienced treatments for 2 1/2 years, the pain she felt is very vividly expressed. Lucy shares with us her loneliness and pain at times so real I found myself crying for her. This autobiography is about beauty, those who have it don't really know it. She searches for it and finally finds it in her love of horses and poetry. Hospitals give her comfort only there she is treated special and not teased or taunted. All in all a truly honest book, and a quick read. 37-1998
    • 5/5
      This book was a wonderfully well-written account of Grealy's experience of childhood cancer. The book was brutally honest -- the account of the reactions and feelings of the author's parents and the author herself rarely painted a flattering picture, but did provide much insight into the author's experience. I'm looking forward to following this up with Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett.
    • 5/5
      The late author Lucy Grealy shares the story of her childhood battle with a rare cancer that cost her the lower right side of her face. She won the battle with the cancer, but was left to deal with the physical and psychological effects of facial disfigurement. Her story is *not* a "triumph of the human spirit" tale, but rather a story of Grealy's journey through hopes and disappointments, self-acceptance and self-abnegation. The culmination of the story is simply the point at which she wrote the book; the reader is left with the sense that this is where Grealy is *now,* that the twists and turns of her journey continue -- and if you know anything about Grealy's life after 1994, you know that that is true. Grealy's writing is clear, flowing, honest, wry, and full of effective imagery.