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    Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
    Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
    Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
    Audiobook4 hours

    Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland

    Written by Dave Barry

    Narrated by Dick Hill

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    A brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times-bestselling author Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why. Join him as he celebrates Florida from Key West at the bottom to whatever it is that's at the top, from the Sunshine State's earliest history to the fun-fair of weirdness and gunfire ("Our motto: 'Come back! We weren't firing at you!'") that it is today. It's the most hilarious book yet from "the funniest damn writer in the whole country" (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you'll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida-you can never say it's boring.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRecorded Books, Inc.
    Release dateSep 6, 2016
    ISBN9781501930270
    Best. State. Ever.: A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
    Author

    Dave Barry

    DAVE BARRY is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor writer and bestselling author whose work has appeared in hundreds of newspapers.

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    Reviews for Best. State. Ever.

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    • 4/5
      One of Dave Barry's better books in the past decade. It was probably a bad idea for me to read it for the first time during a pandemic, since I now feel like I need to go on a tour of weird Florida tourist attractions.
    • 4/5
      The author visits and highlights some tourist attractions around Florida putting his humorous spin on them. He could easily do a follow-up on it. Parts were laugh out loud funny and I could appreciate them as we had been there. Good book for a Floridian or ex-Floridian.
    • 3/5
      Dave Barry is cruising now. He writes what he wants and doesn't seem to put as much effort into it. Even so, he does have moments of great humor, so I still like his books; they just don't hold up to his earlier work. This is a small homage to his adopted home state, just a look at some of the weird and wonderful things that make Florida what it is. It is not comprehensive and not scientific. It is what Dave Barry is interested in. But it is quirky. Barry goes to Weeki Watchee, explores Skunk Ape, drinks his way through Key West, and more, and it's fun to go along.
    • 4/5
      Assuming you occasionally read things on the Internet, you've probably run across some mockery of Florida Man, or Florida in general, a place known for weird and wacky happenings. In this book, Barry offers up an honest but affectionate take on his home state, from roadside attractions, to retirement villages, to Miami's hottest nightclub. It's a quick and fun read, not as out-and-out hilarious as some of Barry's earlier books, but it frequently had me chuckling aloud. I started out listening to the audiobook, but I didn't care for the narrator (not Barry; I think comedians should, if possible, read their own books, but I can't say I've ever heard Barry, so I suppose he might be the exception to the rule). I switched to the ebook version and enjoyed it much more. So, if you're looking for a humorous take on some of Florida's lesser-known attractions, this book is a good read, just not a great listen.
    • 3/5
      I've really missed reading Dave Barry.
    • 5/5
      Dave Barry in his latest book feels the need to defend his state because it has been picked on a bit too much. After the 2000 election debacle, the rest of the nation jumped on the chance to point out anything crazy that happened in Florida as proof of their being the idiot state. What people don't take into account, he argues, is that the people this involves come from other states, mainly their states. People move to Florida and those with the higher I.Q's move away. The dumb ones can't figure out how to leave. There is also a scientific explanation for what happens in Florida and that is the weirdness factor. For example, a tractor-trailer blows its tire out on Interstate 95 and the only fatality was a shark. The tractor-trailer was carrying sharks to New York City when it had its accident and one of the sharks was thrown during the crash, hitting no one, but still leaving Florida with a flying shark story. Or the woman who was shaving her privates while driving and having her ex-husband handle the steering as she motored to Key West to meet her boyfriend. The car in front of them stopped to make a turn and of course, they ran into them. Her licence was expired of course. She was from Indiana.Barry insists that there are many wonderful things about Florida such as the weather is warm. In the middle of winter, it is still warm in Florida. He has never had to scrape frost off of his windshield. Also, the taxes are low. The government is incompetent and corrupt, but so is most ever other state and they have high taxes. Another reason is the women are amazing. For example, in Miami, the women do not leave the house unless they are completely put together and they wear skin tight clothing and heels and that's just to the grocery store. And of course, it's never boring.In this book, Barry takes us on a tour of Florida through some of its oddball places. One such place is Weeki Wachee "which is the deepest natural spring in the United States, producing 117 million gallons of fresh water every day." There is an underwater theater here for mermaids that began in 1947. In 1959 when American Broadcasting Company bought the place they fixed up everything. This was the golden age of the theater. The mermaids were famous. And then in the seventies Disney World opened and the crowds became fewer and fewer. The mermaids in 2001 pulled together to save it. And now it's a historical site and the mermaids are government employees. While underwater they do various things such as eat food or do synchronized dances. There's also a Weeki Wachee Wilderness Cruise. Think Magic Kingdom's Jungle Cruise only with real animals. Of course, the only animals they see are some fish and one manatee. But it's still a nice ride. He sees an out of order Mold-O-Matic machine which when you put money in gives you a fresh plastic toy that represents the place you are at. So he decides to use that as a rating system. He gives the Weeki Wachee three and a half Mold-O-Matic out of order machines out of five.Cassadaga, Florida was founded in 1894 by George Colby who was a member of the Spiritualist Movement. Today it is still filled with spiritualists, and psychics, and any number of supernatural beings. Dave goes to a spiritualist first off, named Judy. She doesn't use any props such as tarot cards; just a piece of paper. She appears to be talking to a person over his shoulder and asks him about things that she "sees" but they mean nothing to him and he feels as though he is failing this reading. Until finally she stumbles on something and they both grasp it. Then she asks if he wants to talk to his mother and father and she pulls out a spirit box. She tells him what she hears from it, but all he hears is static that could be anything. He also has a reading done of his dog via a picture.Dave Barry explores the myth of the Skunk Ape and the retirement community of The Villages as well as the gun culture by going to a gun range and shooting machine guns and getting into the exclusive dance club LIV in Miami. He also visits Spongorama and Gatorland and the wild and wonderful Key West. Through it all, he shows that Florida is a unique place with lots to offer besides being a punchline.
    • 4/5
      Dave Barry is consistently entertaining and his humor is in fine form in Best. State. Ever. Dave dives right into the eccentricities and foibles of his home state of Florida. Even as he revels in the absurdities, his love of the state shines through.Barry points out that many critics of Florida come from places that also do ridiculous things, but admits that Florida’s reputation is well-earned. He interestingly points out the change that Florida underwent, both in real terms and reputation, when Disneyworld opened in the early 1970’s. This fueled a massive influx of tourists as well as a stream of retirees that has continued pretty much unabated ever since.In Best. State. Ever. Dave tours a mermaid attraction, hunts for the legendary skunk ape, and visits a hot night club, a clothing optional bar, a gun range, and one of the country’s largest (and arguably most sexually active) retirement communities. Dave brings the same irreverent and salient observations to all these venues. His dry humor works especially well because the ridiculousness of these places usually speaks for itself.The audio version of this book is narrated by Dick Hill. The verbal delivery of humor writing is as much dependent on timing and cadence as it is on the language. The narrator and the material in this case were not as well-matched as they could have been. Dave Barry always manages to be entertaining and Best. State. Ever. is now different. This book is a quick read (or listen at under 5 hours) and is certain to please his many fans.I was fortunate to receive an advance copy of this audiobook.
    • 3/5
      A typically amusing book by Dave Barry. But then again I'm not sure if I have read any of the other of his books. Dave lives in Florida so this book was his attempt to defend, and well yes lampoon his beloved state. I live here also so I can attest to its difference from maybe everywhere else. The book takes us on a tour of what Dave sees as making it one of a kind and ends in Key West which certainly fits that bill.
    • 3/5
      While expecting hilarity based on the ridiculous things that come out of Florida, I found Dave Barry's newest book to have major ups and downs on the funny scale. Some lines I found myself saying, "so true", but others were flat and boring. The narrator's voice on the audio version is unique, or some might say annoying.
    • 4/5
      Humorist Dave Barry talks about the bizarre insanity of Florida, and why he loves it so much. Then he takes us on his travels to a few of Florida's more offbeat attractions, including, among other things, an underwater mermaid show, a town full of psychics, and a "research institute" in the Everglades devoted to the Skunk Ape, Florida's equivalent of Bigfoot.The humor levels in the travelog parts are a bit variable, but the whole thing is fun, and I laughed out loud quite a few times. Maybe not the kind of laughing-until-you-can't-breathe fits that Barry in his heyday could sometimes give me, but some good, solid laughs, nonetheless.
    • 4/5
      Humorist Dave Barry defends his adopted state against its detractors--and succeeds. After reading this book, you must admit that whatever faults Florida may have, it is never boring. Barry visits the psychic/spiritualist capital of Cassadaga, where his experiences are less than enlightening, such only-in-Florida attractions as Weekiwachee Springs and Gator Land, shoots machine guns in Miami, visits the world's fastest growing retirement community, and revels in the night life of Key West and his home, Miami. If this were nothing but Barry's humor, it would get pretty old and repetitive, as he tends to repeat variations of the same joke a few too many times, which at book length, is a little annoying. However, his open-minded insights into the joys of whatever attraction he is writing about are informative and non-judgmental. He does get in a few good shots at other states, however! In the end, this book makes me want to get in the car, head for Florida, and spend a long time there.I listened to the audiobook, which was well narrated, though not by someone who I imagined sounding much like the author. However, it is the perfect type of low intensity book to listen to in spurts while commuting or running errands, and at four CDs long, it doesn't wear out its welcome or, just as bad, have you so entranced that you are driving just to listen to the book!
    • 5/5
      I have read many of Dave Barry's books and newspaper columns and he is a favorite of mine. I never fail to enjoy and laugh out loud at his writings. I love his sense of humor. Since I have lived in Central Florida for 22 years and have been to many of the out-of-the-way locations he visited in order to research and write this hilarious book, it was especially amusing to me. Dave has lived in Florida for 30 years in the Miami area so he has had plenty of time to observe some of the strange occurrences that happen here. He has a way of injecting himself into all the funny things he writes about so he can laugh at himself along with the rest of us.For this book, he did not visit Disney World but I'd love to read what he thinks about it. May that could be his next book!!
    • 4/5
      Best State Ever is a short funny book about Florida by Dave Berry. Dick Hill did an excellent job reading it and I found it to be fun and funny. It was certainly worth listening to for a week commuting to and from work. Dave writes about his state and his research of his state just for this book. He drove around to many different places to get a first hand account to more accurately portray them in his own humorous way.
    • 4/5
      My wife and I had the perfect window in which to listen to this amusing book - we were driving to Florida to escape part of the winter in Missouri. Dave Barry most recent collection of his newspaper columns filled about 3 or 4 hours of the drive with wholesome amusement. We have spent at least part of the last five winters in Florida, and so we were familiar with most of the weirdness of Florida that Dave relishes, and only slightly exaggerates. Our favorite part was his description of about three days he spent in The Villages, a modest retirement community of 150,000 or so, with dozens of golf courses, a whole bunch of themed community centers, several post offices, and viral line dancing. We had spent a couple of days visiting a friend up there last year, and Dave did not have to add anything to the "retiree Disneyworld" real life there. When we arrived in Naples, we found that most of our friends had already bought and consumed the book. It must be a best-seller in at least one state! It is mostly silliness, but there are real truths in it, too. A favorite description is Barry's take on manatees - "They do nothing all day but eat and fart".Other than the fact that Barry's style has become very predictable (though still entertaining), the only negative I would mention is the narration by Dick Hill. While he was adequate, I would have much preferred to listen to Dave Barry himself.
    • 4/5
      I've lived in Florida for a while so I was curious about this book and oh my gosh he is hilarious! I loved it and since I got it in CD I try and share it with everyone I can.
    • 4/5
      I've read every one of Dave Barry's humor books (and that's a shelfful). He is without a doubt my favorite living humor writer. Best. State. Ever., his slightly off kilter look at his adopted home, Florida, is funny in spots, but I think that his best work was as a columnist. The constraints of a column's length tended to intensify his insanity. In “Best. State. Ever.” Barry takes a more leisurely look at some of Florida's roadside attractions (like Weeki Wachee Springs), the hugely popular over-55 community The Villages, a machine gun shooting gallery, and Key West. In several of these segments Barry comes dangerously close to being a reporter and actually produces humor-free paragraphs. It's sad to see the ravages of time, heat, humidity, and Florida drivers, but he's definitely on the down-hill side of humor.I had the good fortune of seeing Dave at a book signing when he rattled off some of the funniest parts of this book, and it's a shame that he didn't narrate the audio book himself, as he has the timing of a stand-up comedian. His stand-in, Dick Hill, is OK, but his pacing was occasionally wrong.
    • 5/5
      WTH is wrong with Florida? Well Dave Barry tries to enlighten the rest of us that just maybe, Florida is okay. A very quick and funny read, I recommend this, especially now, when America needs to laugh at the things that we should be laughing at.I struggled at first with the narrator's voice. A staccato/robot version of Paul Harvey -- his. pausing. and. exact. pronunciation. of. and. after. each. word. drove. me. nuts. I'm wondering if the first disc I was listening to was damaged in some way, as Mr. Hill's voice became much more fluid, while maintaining that The-Rest-of-the-Story quality that Paul Harvey possessed and which lent itself very nicely to this type of humorous travel guide. Best. State. Ever. had me chucking all the way through. I think I actually guffawed. But I said excuse me after I did. I have relatives in Florida, some born and raised there, some who transplanted there 40 years ago, and I have never once had them tell me about Skunk ape, or about the Weeki Watchee mermaids. I didn't know Key West was freaky nor was I informed about a pulsing club called Liv in Miami that I would never ever be hip enough to get into, and couldn't stay awake long enough to even try. I was in Miami a few years back, meeting a friend who was there for a very famous person's son's wedding. And, although I am very interested in the famous person and got to meet this person, I honest to God was keeping my eyes open for a chance to see Dave Barry in his natural habitat. No lie. THAT was the tourist attraction I wanted to see. I'm beginning to think that there really is NO Dave Barry. He is just something Disney and Florida made up as that smiling cute guy in his author photo. That's the suit he puts on for the public. In real life, I think he's Jimmy Buffett.
    • 5/5
      4.5 starsDave Barry is hilarious. In Best. State. Ever., he focuses his brilliant comedic mind on his home state of thirty years, Florida. In order to write this book, he travels around the state, sometimes alone and at other times with a friend, seeking out Florida’s most interesting locales. As the book begins, Barry states that he believes Florida has gotten a bad rap ever since the 2000 election and the whole “hanging chad” incident. As a result, he decided to write this book to help change people’s opinions about Florida by taking readers to the various highlights of the state. My favorite story by far was the one about Cassadaga, a town known for its ghosts and spiritual encounters with the nickname The Psychic Capital of the World. The way Barry relays his visit to that town from the hotel in which he stayed to the two psychics he visited to the spirits that “visited” his room is a riot. His visit to Judy the medium is hysterical, and his subsequent visit to Rev. Janet, the psychic, is equally funny especially as he continues to reference her predictions regarding his dog and mother. I also enjoyed The Villages, his essay about the huge retirement community in Florida, and Weeki Wachee and Spongeorama, the section he wrote about an amusement park with swimming mermaids that preceded Disney World and is still trapped in the 1950s and Tarpon Springs, the U.S. Sponge Capital.The photos included by Barry really enhance his stories. It was great fun to see the notes the psychic gave him, pictures of the various eccentric individuals he met, the hotel in Cassadaga, and the houses at The Villages. The other great addition to the book is his rating system using Mold-A-Matic machines. After encountering the machines at various tourist stops (usually in non-working order), he adopts a rating scale for each place he visits and includes a graphic with the proper number of Mold-A-Matic machines based on his rating for that venue. It was very clever. I highly recommend Best. State. Ever. Thanks to NetGalley and G.P. Putnam’s Sons for this advance copy in exchange for an honest review.
    • 3/5
      Not his best book but an interesting read anyway. My wife and i have been to Florida many times and we have enjoyed the place. It helps you to understand this book because he concentrates on the old time Florida attractions, and it helps to know what driving across the everglades means,The writing is ok but not as funny as Hiassen or as the author can be. When my wife first saw the state in 1956, there was no interstate and she passed many of these alligator and juice attractions on Route 1
    • 4/5
      I needed something light and non-fiction(ish) last night and this was perfect. I've never read Barry before, but I knew I was in for fun and maybe a laugh or two. I not only wasn't disappointed, but I now have the urge to, next time I'm home, shove MT in the car and subject him to all the wacky, tacky tourist traps from my childhood. The introduction and first chapter read almost like a stand-up routine; the majority of pure hilarity is found here the beginning. The rest of the book is definitely humorous but reads more like a Bill Bryson book, only much less British. What I liked best about the book though, was that Barry points out what is obvious to those of us that are true natives to Florida: all the weird, crazy stuff that the other 49 states laugh at Florida over is pretty much always perpetuated by people who came from those other 49 states. If y'all would just stop shipping your nut jobs south, Florida would be as normal as the rest, but it would also be a lot less fun.
    • 5/5
      Dave Barry is a funny writer, Florida is an interesting place, and I'm a wistful displaced Floridian, so this was easily a five star book for me. I particularly enjoyed the chapters on Dave's visits to Weeki Wachee, Spongeorama, Cassadaga, and Gator Land. "The Villages" sounds like the sort of place that made me want to leave Florida, but even that is presented with affectionate humor, so that you can imagine how such a place might have appeal. "Lock & Load Miami," the machine gun shooting range, was another really funny chapter, and my husband, who had to put up with my chortles and hoots as I read the book, thought it sounded like one of the more entertaining of Dave's day trips. A quick, funny read.
    • 4/5
      It’s been a while since I’ve read a Dave Barry book – so I had forgotten the cardinal rule: NEVER read a Dave Barry book in public! I made that mistake (doctor’s office) – and risked being taken off to a DIFFERENT kind of doctor’s office. Put Dave Barry together with the very strange things that seem to happen only in Florida…and the even stranger news stories that always seem to start with “A man/woman from Florida…” The radio show I listen to every morning even has a regular segment “A man from Florida…”“Best. State. Ever.” Was fantastic. This book was so funny – not only when Barry tries to explain why so many strange stories come out of that state…but also when he travels around the state visiting various tourist traps (shooting a machine gun, visiting an alligator zoo, etc.). He has a deep appreciation for his state – but absolutely does not hold back when it comes to some of the crazy things that happen there.(His comments regarding the 2000 recount debacle were one of the best parts. Made me laugh out loud and wince at the remembrance at the same time.)I let my 13-year old son read this first (because, let’s face it, Barry’s humor is really at that level) and then I spent a day enjoying it (while also cringing just a bit at the few parts I wish my son HADN’T read) – and then passed it to my husband.If you like Dave Barry – you’ll love his latest book. Just remember the cardinal rule….
    • 4/5
      Dave Barry needed to rant about Florida, his home for the past 30 years. Best. State. Ever. is a Florida travelogue. He visits a bunch of seedy, kitschy, tacky and otherwise uncomfortable places including a psychics town, a mermaid show, Spongeorama, Skunk Ape, Gatorland, and Key West, where all the beer is cold refreshing, without the comma.The opening salvo is worth the SJ Perelman Prize, which does not exist, but which should be created for this one essay. It is a sharp, sardonic, sarcastic, aggressive and funny 30 pages comparing Florida to other states. The exaggerations are precious, the targets fat and juicy. It has been honed to perfection, reading like a Phyllis Diller set with a laugh at precisely every 12 seconds. You feel you are being bowled over, steamrollered and battered into submission: this man is the best. He can’t possibly keep this up for the whole book. He doesn’t.All the following essays are trips he takes around the state, with his unremarkable experiences in them, and his bemused reactions to the flora and fauna. They are peppered with small, slightly unfocused black and white photos he took on the trips, (with a noted predilection for signs) and wonderful footnotes that add so much to the Dave Barry Experience (Ha! being my favorite).From Barry’s standpoint, Florida is Disneyland for Baby Boomers. From the bars to the retirement cities, it’s a treat all day every day. You can blow your savings at shooting ranges, walk around naked in Key West, have your fortune told by liars or just enjoy the giant insects, snakes and alligators lying around, waiting. The book doesn’t exactly prove Florida is the Best. State. Ever., but it’s a delightful romp with Dave Barry hosting.David Wineberg