Launch!

Who Are You Anyway?

This teeny-tiny chapter claims that too many people struggle through dreary jobs. Duh. Skim this section if you doubt that. After a few pages, you’ll be introduced to the WAYA quiz, (trademarked, copyrighted, patent pending and pronounced way-uh. It’s short for Who Are You Anyway?) The WAYA analysis reveals how you differ from other college seniors. That starts a process that reveals where you’ll be happiest and do best. Before getting to that, the first part of this section tells you why putting some extra effort into your job plan is a huge deal to your future. Huge.

Grab your Yellow Pages. Look at all those insurance agents and real estate brokers. In my directory there are 35 pages of insurance agents and 20 pages of realtors. That’s three percent of the entire book.

There are a million realtors and insurance agents nationwide. Do you think all of those people grew up dreaming of the day they’d peddle real estate or push insurance? Me neither. It’s a rare, strange kid who sits around imagining the day when he or she will finally become a realtor or insurance agent. But there they are, a million people doing stuff they never set out to.

Yes, there are agents and realtors who love their business. Many are friends. I can tell they’re stoked and several do quite well. For those social types who love dealing with a variety of people, it’s nirvana.

But I’ve got other friends who struggled through dreary careers, half-happy at best, all their lives. One was a jazz trumpeter in high school. Her combo played gigs every weekend. She was good, but maybe not great enough for the big time. I wish she had at least found a position within a musical instrument company or some recording studio. Had she been more independent, booking talent might have fit her. At least she’d be working with music; her passion.

She became a medical insurance underwriter, one of three hundred middle managers shuffling papers. I sent her birthday cards to mail station 405-B, floor fifteen at Aetna and imagined her sitting within an ocean of desks. She probably wore a name badge. She’s retired now, always sounds a little down and says she never experienced a single day when she looked forward to work. She felt fortunate that her job rarely required more than an eight hour day.

Is that tragic or what?

There’s one life wasted in mind-dulling boredom. Ninety days of LAUNCH! might have salvaged her. And made this woman, who had been an energized youth, fun to be around forever.

The turnover rate in real estate and insurance hits about 25% per year. If it takes the average employee in these industries four years to get fed up enough to quit, that suggests there are around eight hundred thousand miserable Americans grinding out their days in real estate or insurance right now.

How about those who love it? I admire them. Yet I wonder if there wasn’t another career, something that intertwined a little more with their natural interests. Could they have enjoyed another job even more?

Maybe. Maybe not.

Once you become engrossed with what you’re doing, whether it was love at first sight or an acquired taste, everything clicks. Attitude overcomes all. My first job out of college was writing about furnaces. After a few years of that, I became PR Manager of Learjet, which was one of the first private jets. Which job was more fun?

Writing about furnaces beat promoting the glamorous airplanes, hands down. If the atmosphere and your attitude are right, you can get enthused about anything.

So if you partied hearty through school, majored in Ethnic Basket Weaving and have no concept about what to do next, just keep reading. We’ll get you there. But if you end up with only offers to sell insurance or real estate, guess what?

Do it.

Do it with a vengeance. Nothing’s forever. And some of that cold calling and prospecting, things most graduates scorn, are critical skills. The President of the United States is one of the more powerful people on earth. Yet every day, the President shakes hands, cheerfully telephones and smiles at people he may not always like, soliciting votes and donations. Most star athletes walk into crowds, signing autographs. Some Oscar winners still hustle directors and plead for choice parts. If you like money or freedom, and money buys noticeably more freedom than poverty, you’ll learn to reach out to many people. Holding back and staying aloof is phony independence. It’s more like isolation. That leads to minimum wages. And lack of money robs you of choices.

Now, you may not stay with insurance or real estate forever, but the skills you pick up will help no matter where you go.

(Okay, okay, when walking through a college placement office recently I scanned their bulletin board, and happened to see a job opening. It was for a sign spinner. You know, holding up a sign and waving it from the curb. Don’t even think about that. Spend more time on your search. There are limits.)

Speaking of insurance, to test a theory, I registered a fictitious resume on Monster.com. The person I faked had a Hispanic surname and a Harvard MBA. His undergraduate degree was posted as electrical engineering. I listed his desire as being a project manager in a technology company, with a salary request that was probably $30,000 below the average. I said he had no geographic restrictions.

Resulting inquiries?

One.

What was that employer seeking?

Somebody to sell insurance. So yes, you can probably land a job selling insurance.

The larger point here is that I tested a theory. That theory is that the Internet is a perfectly awful place to find a job. The Internet appears to be as ineffective as classified ads used to be. But that’s another story, and will be explained later in LAUNCH!.

First, let’s introduce you to yourself.

Having bad-mouthed career tests, here comes the WAYA profiler. It’s several miles ahead of every vocational quiz, methinks, but you’re the ultimate judge. The WAYA analysis wasn’t written by an academic. And relax; it’s not a fuzzy spiritual exercise. "WAYA" is simply an acronym for Who Are You Anyway? This quick probe wasn’t created by folks who majored in psychology as a failed attempt to understand their own problems, or a sick desire to pry into other minds. The WAYA analysis emerged from decades of recruiting and firing and promoting. These questions came from the joys of great job connections and the agonies of poor fits.

The WAYA analysis tells you something critical about yourself…it reveals how you differ from other college seniors.

No other test does that.

Best of all, instead of spending hundreds of dollars, you get some real world guidance, no extra charge, in the next section. Heck of a deal, eh? But be warned! Scoring this test, in the printed version, is tedious. You can go to www.WhoAreYouAnyway.com for an automated version of the WAYA profiler, which scores automatically. But that’ll cost you a few extra bucks. And, the online quiz doesn’t have all the job hunt tactics this printed edition gives. So while taking this test in the printed version is a pain to score, you get those extra job hunt tips with it, plus, a peek at every trait being scored. Even though many of them won’t apply to you, it’s still interesting to see where you’re mainstream.

Once you’ve finished, we’ll dive into the job market. This WAYA analysis works best if you keep it to yourself. Nobody else needs to see it. Therefore, do yourself a great favor and answer honestly. There are no right or wrong responses. Nothing should embarrass you. You’ll probably finish in less than an hour. But it works best if done in one sitting. Therefore, schedule some uninterrupted time. Go hide in the library or lock your door and put out a do not disturb sign. Turn off your phone. Start the test and don’t stop until you’re finished. Do not start reading the next page until you’re ready to finish it. Have your pen and a flat surface to write on. Does this sound a bit out of the box? Good. Because the WAYA analysis is no ordinary exercise, and if you can follow these simple directions, your career shall LAUNCH!

It’s tragic that so many people waste their lifetimes in dismal jobs. Online job services are terrific for employers but competitive hell for job seekers. The WAYA analysis shows which of your job traits are noticeably different from other college seniors. This matters.

Discover The True You

Here’s your WAYA analysis. It gives killer insights if you answer each question, without jumping ahead. Explanations do follow, some of which are guaranteed to cure insomnia, but, do yourself a favor by blasting through the following questions first, non-stop.

Well okay, if you hear sirens and see flames licking under the doorway, take a break. Otherwise, ignore all interruptions that are less urgent than the building burning. Turn off your phone and finish these questions in one sitting.

Some of these may seem strange. That’s because they are. You’ll understand later.

There are only 135 questions. All but two need yes or no or don’t know answers. Put a Y or N or D next to each. The other two are fill-in-the-blank quickies. A few are long but most are short. Here goes.

The WAYA Analysis

1. You are now star ting the best career assessment test you’ll ever take. What time is it? (This is one of the only two questions that require more than a yes, no or don’t know mark. Not too tough so far, eh?

2. In the last month, did you get over six hours sleep most nights?

3. You need to cancel an appointment next week. You have the person’s phone number and e-mail address. Would you phone first?

4. Lowes, a fast-growing home improvement chain, hired two of you to start the same day. You showed up first and got your choice of training jobs. You can handle customer returns or stock inventor y. Do you prefer stocking inventor y?

5. A student down the hall majors in Nutritional Science. This person needs volunteers for a class project. Participants get $100 and taste five teaspoons of pureed insects, spread over a flat bread, well-cooked, seasoned with organic herbs and the portions are supposedly iron-rich. Volunteers are asked to react after each sample. You are busy and have a huge test tomorrow. But you could use some cash and the Nutritional Science project only takes fifteen minutes per volunteer. Gag. Eeuw. But $100? Would you avoid doing this?

(C’mon, you were warned that this quiz wasn’t an everyday conventional, boring, predictable and totally irrelevant test. Hang in, nervous campus creatures, the findings just might fascinate you.)

6. You’re flying from Chicago to Dallas. The woman seated next to you looks like a Supreme Court Justice. She avoids eye contact. Before takeoff, the woman pulls out a notebook with the title Issues Before the Court, puts on a headset and begins scribbling notes. It must be her. Would you say something during the flight?

7. Two companies offer you a job. One of your professors likes your offer from Company A while another professor guesses you’d be thrilled working for Company B. You respect both teachers. Does this difference of opinion bother you?

8. You’re riding a bus across Pennsylvania. The guy sitting across the aisle shuffles a deck of cards, and asks if you’d care to make a bet. He hands you the deck. You riffle through them and can see that it’s a standard set. He asks you to shuffle and cut the cards. You do. He explains that he’ll now flip over the top card and you’ll turn over the next card. High card wins $20. He turns over a 5. Aces are low. Would you bet?

9. As strange as some of these questions seem, after taking this test and reading the analysis, you pick up a thought or two that could alter your career plan. Some of what you’ve done for the last four years appears to have been headed in a wrong direction. What you learn from the WAYA exercise makes you suspect that. But your prior advice seemed to make good sense. Do you consider shifting plans a bit?

10. You’ve been engaged for a month. The wedding is four months away. As part of a research project, you get confidential access to the campus medical center’s records. You need to look at a sample of the patient histories to help determine the side effects of a new drug. Not all patients received the medicine. While leafing through the files, you’re surprised to see your fiancé’s name. Your fiancé didn’t take the drug, so that’s a file you’re not supposed to look into, but, nobody can possibly know if you do. Would you peek?

11. A successful businessman likes your resume. He suggests you meet for lunch at the Palm Beach Yacht Club. You fly into Miami. Hertz has a sub-compact Festiva with stick shift for $29 a day, no mid-size vehicles and a Lincoln Continental for $79. You owe $20,000 in student loans but suspect an offer from this fellow might help you pay off that in a couple of years, while your other prospects are unknown. Do you save the $50 and take the cheaper car?

12. Have you lost a textbook, mobile phone, keys or umbrella recently?

13. You’re on a late night flight from Dallas to Seattle. Ever y seat is full. You’re tired. Do you tilt your seat all the way back after takeoff?

14. Have you run out of gas or missed a flight?

15. Given the choice, would you rather ride than drive?

16. You pull into the gas station, fill the tank and step inside to use the restroom. There’s both a men’s room and a women’s in the back. Yours is locked. There are no other customers inside and one cashier near the front door plus two other cars filling up outside. You really have to go. Would you use the other restroom, even though it’s marked for the opposite sex?

17. Chinese food sounds good one night. You call. It’s forty minutes for free deliver y. It’s a twenty-five minute walk to the restaurant. Do you walk?

18. Do you regularly wake up with ideas?

19. Would you spend an extra $400 for more airbags in a car?

20. A high school senior is the younger sibling of a friend of yours, but you’ve never met. The kid visits your school next week and you’re the host. Your friend suggests that she or he will be just fine if given a bed, breakfast and left alone. Would you contact your guest to find out what he or she hopes to see and advise him or her on what to wear?

21. If the pay and work conditions were the same, would you prefer teaching to doing research?

22. You have a choice of jobs. One means working for a multi-millionaire. The other means working for a Nobel Prize winner, doing similar tasks. Do you choose the Nobel Prize winner?

23. Does your calendar let you schedule things out more than 90 days in advance, and do you?

24. When you check voice messages and find none, and next look at email and, aside from some spam, see no new messages, is that kind of a relief?

25. You’re spending a week in Hawaii. Your hotel sponsors a short afternoon race in the surf. You can paddle an outrigger with nine other guests, in one race, or compete by yourself, paddling a kayak. Do you try it alone?

26. It was a good interview and you like the company, but they offer you 10% less than you hoped for. You must accept or reject the offer in two weeks. You have five more inter views a month later, but no idea as to how those may go. Do you take the offer?

27. You feel like a workout to help you wake up. The gym downstairs has a nice treadmill but it’s decent weather outside so you could just jog across the campus instead. Would you prefer the treadmill?

28. You’re hiring a concierge for the Ritz Carlton. The first person looks good but stutters badly. Would you encourage this candidate?

29. A laboratory wants to hire you to help them on a contract for Merck. They think they’ve found a drug to control Multiple Sclerosis but need to run several more years of tests. It’s a secret project, and all results from the research will belong to Merck. But an upcoming music group also wants to hire you, they have concerts booked for the next few months, and you’ll be listed as one of several producers. Would you prefer the producer position?

30. An expert says stock prices will go down 10%, on average, over the next two years, giving some reasons, but this year is already up 5%. Do you agree with the forecast?

31. You’re driving into a crowded parking lot. There are no empty spots on your side, to the right. You see a vacant space to the left. A car is approaching from that lane, but it’s forty meters away and there’s no telling whether it’s coming or leaving. Do you cut across the center line and take the empty parking spot?

32. If it wasn’t available for free, would you pay $19 a month for caller ID on your phone?

33. A club you joined decides to spend a weekend working at Habitat for Humanity. You have a choice of painting interior walls or showing the applicants how to fill out their qualifying forms. Would you paint?

34. Are your socks paired in your drawer, right side out?

35. Europeans typically get two weeks of vacation through the year, plus an extra month off in the summer, and rarely put in as much as a 38 hour week. They can’t be fired without getting almost a year of severance pay. Their living standards are lower than ours, but there’s an old world charm to their days. Taxes are high. Advancing out of your social class is difficult, but the welfare system takes decent, if undignified, care of the poor. Does this sound bad?

36. You have a flat tire. The spare in the trunk is good. But there’s a gas station one mile ahead on your side of the road. Do you walk to the station and ask for help?

37. Do you pack for trips a day or more ahead of time?

38. Do you push the elevator button only once?

39. Long before your time, there were two Presidential candidates who lost by landslides. Barr y Goldwater, a conservative Republican Senator and Fritz Mondale, a liberal Democrat Senator both spoke their minds in separate elections. Each said what they believed. Both were trounced. Their opponents gained broad control of the government. Therefore, the ideals both men favored were lost. Do you admire their honesty?

40. To help a charity drive, a local farmer donated two acres of his tomato field. You volunteered to help. Your choice is to stoop over and pick tomatoes under a hot sun, or, to stand all afternoon under a tin roof, bagging tomatoes and making change for customers. Would you prefer the picking in the field?

41. Most of us work for just over 40 years. Once employed, there will be times of hard work and other moments when it’s possible to coast a bit. Since you’re putting in the time anyway, it’s smarter to work extra hard, contantly, getting a chance for more money, promotions and future choices instead of ever relaxing. Do you agree?

42. If students must either live in private apartments with kitchens, or, in dormitories with cafeterias, does the apartment choice sound better?

43. Imagine a country that’s populated and run by dogs. The majority, who hold most of the better jobs, are covered with a yellow fur. They’re called, no surprise, the YellowDogs. One minority group, called the RedDogs, are generally employed in lower-paying jobs but are working their way up. As their name suggests, have different coloring. A second minority, the GreenDogs, have higher unemployment and are twice as likely to be in jail. The GreenDogs want more government assistance, arguing that that these statistics prove they’re victims. Is it possible that the GreenDogs should take more responsibility for their own behavior?

44. A few friends are coming over to watch a movie. You can have the deli down the street prepare appetizers or whip up something yourself. The deli’s been dependable. You sometimes prepare things that dazzle guests but have also created some memorable failures. Do you put the snacks together yourself?

45. Birthdays, weddings, graduations, funerals and holidays must all be observed. These events add tradition, rhythm and proof that there’s meaning to life, right?

46. You’re sitting alone. A menu lies in front of you. When you pick it up, there’s a dollar under it. Do you keep the dollar?

47. You got job offers from Google and Waste Management, a garbage business. You’d be doing the same thing for either company. The Waste Management job is in a town you think you’d like while the Google position is in a more depressing city. Do you take the garbage job?

48. Your new super visor is bright but speaks broken English; is that kind of fun for you both?

49. Your milk container says Best if served before July 15. It’s July 15. Do you dump it?

50. Is your GPA higher than you deserve?

51. Your new employer gets all the new hires together once a month for a one hour meeting. It’s a half hour drive to the offices where they meet, or, you can attend by video from your desktop PC. Do you prefer attending personally, despite losing the hour of commute time?

52. You have a choice of listening to a string quartet or jazz. Do you pick jazz?

53. Clarence and Tim grew up in Great Falls, Montana. Clarence’s career keeps him on the move; he stops by his Milwaukee apartment once a month for mail and to relax, but mostly lives in hotels. Tim’s only been out of Montana once. Does Tim have the better life?

54. Your new employer serves international customers. The company pays for language lessons. If you’ll devote one afternoon a week, they’ll hire a personal instructor. Current choices are Spanish or Mandarin Chinese. Your boss encourages you to take one, but doesn’t care which. Do you take Mandarin?

55. You have a breakfast meeting on a trip. You set your travel alarm for 7 am. Do you also ask for a wakeup call from the hotel operator?

56. You’re scheduled to pour orange juice for students after they give blood for a Red Cross campaign. A personal emergency takes you out of town. Your roommate promises to take your turn at the Red Cross and tells you not to worry about it. Do you call your roommate the night before with a reminder?

57. Have you received a traffic ticket for a moving violation?

58. Ten years from now you land a new job and buy a house 400 miles away. The climate seems similar with a bit more precipitation. Your new place is landscaped but you’d like some bushes in front. A gardener from the next block offers to select and plant a local variety. He shows you pictures, they look nice but you’ve never seen any of them. Would you give him the go-ahead?

59. Do you sometimes run yellow lights?

60. Do you know what your friends fear most, where they’d like to live and which public figures they admire?

61. Amalgamated Energy has two plants that need your skills. Their Iceland facility pays $82,500 per year and flies you home for a