Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Tweet Treats: The Most Hilarious Twitter Tweets Ever!
    Tweet Treats: The Most Hilarious Twitter Tweets Ever!
    Tweet Treats: The Most Hilarious Twitter Tweets Ever!
    Ebook174 pages48 minutes

    Tweet Treats: The Most Hilarious Twitter Tweets Ever!

    By Andrew Campbell

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    You really are ‘in for a Tweet!’

    Titter at Twitter with these witty, twitty, Tweets for every occassion.

    With only 140 characters available, its not just hard to know what to write, its also hard to fit it all in!
    Allow me to help with this hilarious book of random Tweets. You’ll be sure to give your followers a giggle!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAndrew Campbell
    Release dateApr 25, 2012
    ISBN9781476013992
    Tweet Treats: The Most Hilarious Twitter Tweets Ever!
    Author

    Andrew Campbell

    Andrew Campbell was born in Newtownards, Northern Ireland in 2078. After graduating from the Irish Space Engineering College in 2098, he invented and built the World's first fully-functioning Time Machine. During early testing of the prototype, he mistakenly travelled back to 2012 where it smashed into a tree on arrival. Now stuck in 2012, Andrew has been desperately searching for a way to fund purchase of the spare parts he needs to return home. Andrew delivers pizzas, helps elderly ladies, washes cars and sells books online. So far, he's collected £4.56 of the £37million he needs to return home.

    Read more from Andrew Campbell

    Related to Tweet Treats

    Related ebooks

    YA Humor For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Lol

      Jun 19, 2019

      Lol
      2 min read

    • Article

      The BOGAN WHIP

      Feb 7, 2021

      The BOGAN WHIP
      8 min read

    • Article

      Laugh A Little

      Sep 18, 2020

      Laugh A Little
      3 min read

    • Article

      New DATING

      Mar 2, 2022

      New DATING
      3 min read

    • Article

      Needle In A Haystack

      Feb 22, 2024

      Needle In A Haystack
      6 min read

    • Article

      THE DUKE OF Edinbrough Hotel

      Nov 13, 2019

      THE DUKE OF Edinbrough Hotel
      6 min read

    • Article

      Widow's Weeds

      Feb 8, 2023

      Widow's Weeds
      2 min read

    • Article

      You Couldn’t Make It Up

      Jan 18, 2022

      You Couldn’t Make It Up
      2 min read

    • Article

      Lockdown

      Aug 31, 2020

      You keep a secret safe, wrapped up in the back of a drawer in your mind, all tied up in metaphorical ribbon and string, for 14 years. And in the space of three days, it unravels. How did that happen? I’ll tell you how. I was up a ladder, that’s how.

      5 min read

    • Article

      Funny Foto

      May 20, 2020

      Funny Foto
      3 min read

    • Article

      Lol

      Aug 1, 2023

      Lol
      3 min read

    • Article

      The Invisible WOMAN

      Dec 23, 2020

      The Invisible WOMAN
      6 min read

    • Article

      Can’t Buy Me Love

      Jul 6, 2023

      Can’t Buy Me Love
      2 min read

    • Article

      Chuckles

      Apr 16, 2021

      Fancy yourself a joker? Email original jokes to chuckles@you.co.za or send them to Chuckles, YOU, PO Box 7167, Roggebaai 8012, and we may publish them on this page. A group of prosperous businessmen are dining at a top restaurant inside a gambling re

      4 min read

    • Article

      Laugh A Little

      Jun 12, 2020

      Laugh A Little
      3 min read

    • Article

      Dana White

      May 24, 2022

      Dana White
      2 min read

    • Article

      Dana White

      May 25, 2022

      Dana White
      2 min read

    • Article

      Class Act

      Jan 15, 2021

      Class Act
      8 min read

    • Article

      Chuckles

      Jul 7, 2023

      I don’t have a Facebook or Twitter account. I just walk around announcing out loud what I’m doing at random times. I’ve got three followers so far, but I think two are cops. ■ What does a shoemaker say when he sneezes? A shoe! ■ What’s it called w

      4 min read

    • Article

      Embarrassing

      May 4, 2020

      “I had just started dating this guy who never wore boxers and was still trying to figure out if it was a deal-breaker or not. But then, he came to my house and stood on my balcony looking at the view while I got a drink in the kitchen. He mustn’t hav

      3 min read

    • Article

      Every Dog Has Its Day

      Jan 12, 2024

      Every Dog Has Its Day
      3 min read

    • Article

      Lol

      Jan 29, 2020

      Lol
      2 min read

    • Article

      Flex Appeal!

      Sep 2, 2021

      Sandy Star, 47, London Touching down at Heathrow Airport, I felt excitement zip through me. ‘Home, sweet home,’ I smiled. It was Jannarv 2019 and after two fab years working as a personal trainer in Dubai, I’d moved back to Blighty. I wanted to be ne

      4 min read

    • Article

      Surf Pawn

      Feb 11, 2019

      Surf Pawn
      3 min read

    • Article

      Lol

      Dec 25, 2019

      Lol
      3 min read

    • Article

      Christmas Comes to Norwalk

      Oct 25, 2019

      Christmas Comes to Norwalk
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Tweet Treats

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Tweet Treats - Andrew Campbell

      Introduction

      You really are ‘in for a Tweet!’

      Titter at Twitter with these witty, twitty, Tweets for every occassion.

      With only 140 characters available, its not just hard to know what to write, its also hard to fit it all in!

      Allow me to help with this hilarious book of random Tweets. You’ll be sure to give your followers a giggle!

      Tweet Treats

      I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I don’t want to sound paranoid, but I’m pretty sure people are following me.

      *****

      Some get paid advertising fees to mention products in their Tweets! That's nearly as crazy as the rides at Benny's Fairground! Open till 9pm

      *****

      My first Tweet today!

      My fwend got me a gweat big Ice Cweam!

      My Dad fell into an upholstery machine last week! He’s fully recovered now.

      *****

      My friend is going to set a new standard in pubs by opening one on the top of a hill. Personally, I think he's raised the bar too high.

      *****

      Internet dating: the odds are good but the goods are odd.

      The real secret in business is honesty. Once you learn how to fake that, you'll make a fortune.

      *****

      My dad asked me to help him with a risky job installing a high level fence. I said 'No, way!' The stakes were far too high.

      *****

      I just tried a gravy drink for the first time. I didn’t like it; the carrot batons kept poking me in the eye.

      My girlfriend is a porn star. She is going to be so pissed off when she finds out.

      *****

      A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame

      *****

      My uncle works in digital radio. He's a DAB hand.

      My wife doesn't mind what I do as long as I don't enjoy it.

      *****

      Sometimes I try to masturbate long words into my jokes, even if I don't know what they mean.

      *****

      I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing. It was soda pressing.

      While working in the library earlier, a bloke asked me, Do you have a bookmark?

      I said, "Yes, we have hundreds...but my name's Andrew?

      *****

      I gave up my job as Pool maintenance man. It was continuously draining.

      *****

      My Dad wants me to be an Historian but there’s no future in a job like that.

      My girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and I love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it; she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker.

      *****

      My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

      *****

      My wife and I were exchanging words in the bedroom last night. She loves a good

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1