Is This It? How Successful People Get More Life Out Of Life

TABLE OF CONTENTS

COPYRIGHT

DEDICATION

PRAISE FOR ‘IS THIS IT?’

FOREWORD

PREFACE

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

CHAPTER ONE: OUR HAPPINESS STOCK MARKET

CHAPTER TWO: INVESTING IN YOUR REAL PURPOSE-MANAGED FUND

CHAPTER THREE: FIGHTING TO GET ALONG (RELATIONSHIPS)

CHAPTER FOUR: WHO AM I ... OR AREN’T I?

CHAPTER FIVE: HEALTH AND WELLBEING: BUILDING YOUR BODY’S BANK ACCOUNT

CHAPTER SIX: THE F WORD: FEELINGS

CHAPTER SEVEN: RELAXATION! IT’S THE REAL THING

CHAPTER EIGHT: TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE... TOO BUSY TO DO WHAT’S IMPORTANT

CHAPTER NINE: EVERY GOOD CASTLE NEEDS A MOAT

CHAPTER TEN: YOUR CAR WILL ONLY GO IF THE TYRES STAY INFLATED

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

CONTRIBUTORS

BIBLIOGRAPHY

COPYRIGHT

Is This It? How successful people get more life out of life

By Adam Fitzpatrick

Copyright 2013 Adam Fitzpatrick

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

DEDICATION

Everyone who has ever felt a sense of longing for something better, different, more. It is my aspiration to assist others live more heartfelt lives, and by doing so to help the world become a kinder place.

PRAISE FOR ‘IS THIS IT?’

As a marketing professional working endless hours, successful yet not content with the life I had, Adam’s book really spoke to me. I have now begun to find a new balance, giving me greater enjoyment without having to compromise my drive for achievement.

Gerry Robert

CEO and bestselling author of The Millionaire Mindset

An inspiring book that has proven to be very useful in all areas of my life. It has helped me make important decisions about my priorities and how to not let stress affect me. I now feel more connected to all aspects of my world. A brilliant book for people in all walks of life.

Jean-Guy Francoeur

Author of The Messy Manager

This is a great book for anyone not quite living the life they want. Adam’s engaging warmth is easily felt as he lets us into his personal and professional experience to help us challenge what we really want out of life and learn some strategies to develop the courage to get it.

Valerie Lotham

Author of Be The Confident YOU

Fantastic book. Easy to read without technical jargon but nevertheless informative and full of solid concepts. I think we all could benefit from Adam’s new and realistic perspective of the age- old living in the moment approach to life.

James Burgess

Management Consultant and Author of Chaos. How Business Leaders Can Master The Art Of Focus

It seems we can have our cake and eat it too! Adam’s book has shown me that I can be driven to succeed in my outer world whilst still knowing how to turn off and let go to be a relaxed, more content person on the inside. I’ve spent so much of my life pushing to achieve goals at the expense of so much personally, and I finally feel I have the tools to be at peace with myself.

Sharon R. Boggs

Author of Working 9 to 5 Sucks — Learn To Kiss Your Cubicle Goodbye!

As a psychologist and author, I am excited about Adam’s book. He strikes the perfect balance between educating the reader and storytelling in a truly enlightening way. His approach to the field of psychology and self-development is grounded in solid theory in a contemporary style. A must for any therapist and client in today’s world. Great work!

Clare Mann

International psychologist and bestselling author of Communicate: Be Heard whether in the Boardroom or the Bedroom (and Everywhere in Between)

FOREWORD

When you first meet someone, you don’t know whether this person will be a fleeting acquaintance, a casual companion or someone to journey, collaborate and grow with. Adam is one of the latter, an individual who I feel is one of my teachers and for whom I have enormous respect.

I met Adam eleven years ago when I first came to Australia and we worked together as psychologists, rehabilitating individuals who had suffered physical and psychological injuries. The work we did together required a traditional approach of assessment and intervention, yet Adam brought to it an almost instinctive understanding of what tools and strategies to use to help people. He seemed to be able to walk in their shoes and sense the underlying pain that was masquerading as symptoms of depression, anxiety and other psychological ills. Through his wisdom, and his courage in extending the boundaries of his professional work, I saw first-hand his clients getting unstuck; many not only became symptom-free but went on to create lives of meaning and purpose.

Those early days working together set the foundation for a supportive professional relationship and deep friendship. I continue to see him work on himself; he takes every experience as an opportunity to self-reflect and make changes within himself that make him a better psychologist and human being. Adam is an embodiment of what he asks his clients to do: to take 100% responsibility for their lives, their symptoms and for what they want to create. He never asks a client to do anything he is not prepared to do himself — which is to see his part in creating his life and realising that we are all a work in progress.

Is This It? How successful people get more life out of life is a book that has the power to change people’s lives in powerful and positive ways. The wisdom I have seen enacted with Adam’s clients is now available within the pages of this book. So many of us are successful in one area of our lives but not in others. We may have achieved great things and have the respect of many, and still know that something is missing and that we are not happy. This book empowers us to have the courage to admit that we are not happy. It takes us on a journey of personal development to identify what we really want our lives to be about.

Within these pages are the keys to unlocking our freedom so we can really get more life out of life.

Clare Mann

International psychologist and bestselling Author. Communicate 31

PREFACE

For some time now, I have become increasingly frustrated with how disconnected we seem to be in this world. In the age of social media and immediate gratification, combined with an ever-quickening pace of life, we all seem to be constantly doing but not always experiencing the beauty that is around us. I put my hand up for being as guilty as the next person! Add to this the constant bombardment from the media of the suffering and torment in the world, and even the most resilient of us can be forgiven for losing hope in humanity and the future of our planet. Our modern conveniences have definitely added value to our lives and have helped us in ways previous generations would not have thought imaginable, but I wonder if they have also contributed to us losing a real sense of community, heartfelt connection and human togetherness. As important as it is to learn the knowledge and skills taught in schools, it feels to me we have never really been taught the skills and knowledge to feel, to experience the full range of emotions with confidence and acceptance. Rather, we learn highly developed ways to avoid certain emotions and how to distance ourselves from, or deny, experiences we would rather not have. Our energy seems to be guided towards the negative and a compulsion to find out why something happens to us before we have learnt to sit with the full awareness of what is happening. As evolved as we have become in so many aspects of our lives, are other facets being forgotten?

Earlier this year I experienced a string of circumstances that turned my life upside down. I was forced to question who I was and what I had become, and the comfort zone I had lived in for so long was gone, replaced with uncertainty, overwhelming emotions and a desire to grab onto something — anything — to restore the status quo. My experience is not unique, although it was ironic — here I was, a psychologist and meditation teacher with a solid business, great friends and family with a well-developed collection of techniques and strategies to help the most confronting of human experiences. And I was struggling! This is how this book was conceived.

What if we could connect with ourselves and those around us in a different way? To value the achievement of material possessions, career, status and so on, but also to cherish our entire inner experience separate from these things? This book addresses the age- old notion of happiness, meaning and purpose, combined with a practical approach to living in today’s world where many of us have our basic needs met and then some, but still don’t always feel content with our lot.

This book teaches you about you — physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually — and encourages you to celebrate who you are, where you are, regardless of your circumstances, in order to have the courage to become your best self.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book would never have materialized without the encouragement and support of my dear friend and colleague, Clare Mann. Thank you, Clare: your guidance and friendship over the past 11 years have warmed me.

I would like to thank all of those who have been instrumental in bringing the book to its final stages and shared as well as tolerated the frustrations of this novice, including Gerry, JG and Deb from Black Card Books; Brendan Norris; my editor Margaret Johnson; Adelphi Print; FC Productions, and the designers who contributed to the finished product of which I am so proud. Special thanks to Olga Tanevska, Veli Solyali, Judith Fischer, John Carlton, John Mikelsons, Gerry Flanagan, Jerome Baudel, Les and Trudi Dyer, Ovidne, Jones Matos Da Silva, Robert Ghanem, Danny Yates and Kenny Tan, who have all influenced, nurtured and inspired me in very different ways. Thank you to all the people who have been interviewed for this book, and who are quoted in it. Your contribution to its writing is greatly appreciated. A heartfelt thanks, too, to all my clients, past and present — it truly has been an honour to share in your journeys, and you have taught me so much. You have ultimately made this book a reality.

A big thanks to Matthew Larkin - you have a pure heart, gentle spirit and truly embody the essence of this book.

I am deeply grateful to all of my family, who have kept me motivated in one way or another, often without even knowing they did so; and a special tribute to Mum and Nana — you are two of the strongest and most humble people I know, and have taught me so much just by being yourselves.

I can’t possibly name everyone who has directly or indirectly helped create this book, but I send you my sincerest thanks and blessings for having played a part in its creation.

CHAPTER ONE

OUR HAPPINESS STOCK MARKET

Have you reached a point where, in spite of having many of the things you have strived for such as a good career, friendships, the latest stuff and other acquisitions, you still feel like something is missing from your life? Do you feel that you have ticked many boxes and seem to be living a good life, yet you are still searching for that special something that will make your existence more enjoyable?

Are you sometimes surprised or even annoyed by people around you who seem to be content with their lives, even though they might experience disappointments and difficulties?

Spend a few moments considering what your definition of happiness is. What makes you happy? What comes to mind when you think of living a happy life?

At times you might think that you are alone with these feelings. You might think that the people around you seem to know what they want and are living the life they have chosen.

It may come as a surprise to you to learn that you are not alone. This lack-lustre sense of working hard in a fast-paced world only to find it falls short of what you expected is shared by many, many people. There is a better life! There is a way for you to achieve the things that are important to you and that mean something on a deeper level. You can live a more vibrant, pleasurable life and still engage in the things you are currently doing. You too, can experience the rollercoaster of life and remain content with its ups and its downs.

In this book I will show you ways to develop inner confidence and a greater sense of control over your life. I will show you strategies to be more passionate about your successes, whatever they are, and to develop better relationships with yourself and others. You will learn how to be authentically happy.

First, it is important to consider what your idea of happiness is. It’s a concept that we can’t escape, as it is presented on television, in print advertising, in just about every social media avenue, the health field, and even in everyday conversation. How do we know what it really is? And if we don’t know, how can we search for and find it?

Spend a few moments considering what your definition of happiness is. What makes you happy? What comes to mind when you think of living a happy life?

A lot of people and groups over the course of history have had things to say on this subject, which suggests happiness is something men and women have never really been able to define successfully. I think it is useful to share with you what others have to