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    Life Lives Itself and Other Sayings
    Life Lives Itself and Other Sayings
    Life Lives Itself and Other Sayings
    Ebook85 pages2 hours

    Life Lives Itself and Other Sayings

    By Daniel Daughtridge

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    About this ebook

    The book contains fourteen sayings that offer help in dealing with the difficulties of living. Short and straightforward, each chapter is organized around a particular theme such as: understanding the nature of truth; disentangling from old narratives; using inner resources of curiosity, imagination, and intention; understanding family systems; appreciating environmental influence and personal responsibility; using behavioral reinforcement effectively; and evaluating motivation for change. Daniel uses a variety of illustrations from everyday life to reinforce the concepts contained in each saying. The book is a unique combination of knowledge from the science of psychotherapy and diverse philosophical and spiritual traditions.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDaniel Daughtridge
    Release dateDec 20, 2013
    ISBN9781310885297
    Life Lives Itself and Other Sayings
    Author

    Daniel Daughtridge

    Daniel Daughtridge is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist working in private practice in eastern North Carolina.

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      Book preview

      Life Lives Itself and Other Sayings - Daniel Daughtridge

      Life Lives Itself

      And Other Sayings

      By Daniel Daughtridge

      Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

      Copyright © 2013 Daniel Daughtridge. All Rights Reserved.

      Published on Smashwords

      To Kim, Amo Quia Amo

      Table of Contents

      Preface

      Chapter One: Nothing you know is true, but it’s exactly the way things are.

      Chapter Two: Habitat defines species.

      Chapter Three: Continuity of experience is not identity.

      Chapter Four: Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment.

      Chapter Five: Everything now proved was once imagined.

      Chapter Six: So little of what might happen does.

      Chapter Seven: Hope is not a plan.

      Chapter Eight: A difference makes a difference.

      Chapter Nine: Must not nature be persuaded many times?

      Chapter Ten: Too much courtesy impairs your virtue.

      Chapter Eleven: We get the children we need.

      Chapter Twelve: When you don’t trust the people, you make them untrustworthy.

      Chapter Thirteen: Life lives itself.

      Chapter Fourteen: Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is going to suck.

      Endnotes

      Preface

      I have been a collector of sayings since I was a boy, and I find the practice to be highly useful for me both personally and professionally. I prefer to think of sayings as quotes that are taken out of their original context and integrated into the fabric of living to the extent that their true origin is irrelevant. Unlike quotations, sayings don’t prove anything. Instead, they almost always embody a truth that we already know from somewhere deep within. While quotations belong to authors, sayings belong to all of us. I use sayings because I think they are contagious symbols of concepts I believe are important.

      I am writing this book as a gift to my clients. It contains fourteen different sayings taken from my work as a psychotherapist. I have entitled each chapter with a saying, then in the body of the chapter, I describe the concepts I believe the saying represents in my work. While each chapter could be taken independently, I feel that there is a logical sequence to the book as it is laid out. The book is not to be taken as an exhaustive therapy approach or theory, as it leaves out too much. Nonetheless, I believe it provides a solid orientation to the things that I emphasize in therapy.

      Back to Top

      Chapter One

      Nothing you know is true, but it's exactly the way things are.

      The world in which you live is a figment of your imagination. Neuroscience research has confirmed that the brain formulates truth based on what it experiences through the senses. In other words, truth is not something outside of you waiting to be discovered. It is actually manufactured within you, through the natural processes of your mind. If there were such a thing as objective truth, you would not be able to know it apart from the natural filter of perception, which by definition prevents it from being objective. Like the perennial tree falling in the forest with no one to hear, one might similarly ask: If absolute truth exists outside the mind, and no one can know it, does it really exist?

      Consider what is going on in your mind right now after reading the previous paragraph. Perhaps you agree that the mind manufactures truth based on sensory data. You believe this to be a reasonable idea because it conforms to preconceptions that have been shaped by experiences and conditioning. On the other hand, if you disagree with me and believe that objective truth exists, you are likewise operating from preconceptions that have been generated from your mind’s interaction with various biological and experiential inputs. How are we then going to determine which perspective is true? Both responses to the idea are based on preconception, but whose preconceptions will win the argument?

      We have developed a nifty way of determining the answer to such conundrums: science. In a very structured and reasonable manner, we test and measure and come to a consensus about what might be considered truth. In previous eras before modern scientific principles were developed, human beings resorted to other means of arriving at truth, such as tradition, religion, or informal observation. Even though the science of today offers more tangible proofs of its validity than some of those other methods, there’s no sense in thinking that science is true while the older methods are false. Science depends on human perception and intervention, which means the results can be erroneous, skewed, or even faked. Human error is not only present in the so-called soft sciences, such as psychology and social science, but also in the hard sciences, including medicine.1 In my view, science has become perhaps the best answer to the question of what is true about the world, but it fails to pass as the vehicle for arriving at absolute, objective truth.

      It is reasonable to conclude that we do not have a reliable way to get at the indisputable truth about any matter. In reality, science and every other epistemological method fail to grant us access to pure truth. That is not to say that there is no truth, however. Truth is a pragmatic necessity, without which we would grope about and never be able to build a pile of stones, let alone a skyscraper. We must accept that some things are true, real, or certain in order to get out of bed every day. However, these truths are always tentative, not absolute, and every rule creates two exceptions. For some reason, the human mind is in love with the idea of absolute truth, perhaps out of its own organic anxieties, which is why those who often bark the loudest about absolutes and things that are black and white are often the most paranoid.

      So now that I have destroyed the foundation of all that you know to be true in a few short

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