The Slug Inception

The Slug Inception

By Matthew Pelly

Copyright 2014 Matthew Pelly

Smashwords Edition

License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please acquire an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not acquire it legitimately, or it was not acquired for your use only, then please feel very bad, return to Smashwords.com, and then get your own damn copy. Thanks for respecting my investment. It was quite a bit of hard work, believe it or not. So, come on, be fair. I wouldn’t do it to you.

Chapter: Prologue - Travels

The Slug

Yet again, our ship happened to be zooming through space. The cosmos, I mean. Of course, all of our external identifiers were off. Yet again.

We'd been having some interesting conversations lately; we had a great agenda to accomplish, that would be quite difficult to accomplish. Unless we were lucky. Which we most likely won't be. So it will be quite difficult. To accomplish, that is.

My blasted friends had managed to convince me that we should be working towards a peace between the Slugs and Cyborgs. An actual peace. Meaning, an end to the war. This didn't seem to bode very well for the Slugs, but Phill could be pretty persuasive when he wanted to be.

We were on our way to Slugenis for the second time. I had no idea how long it had been since we were last there; the Slug King from the last time might have died and been replaced again. We had gone from the Slug homeworld to Earth and then out to PDN - deep in Cyborg territory - and we were now coming back.

My time on Earth means that I tend to think in years now, instead of cycles like every other Slug, but we don't use light years as a measure of distance. So, in short, I had no idea how long it'd been. Hopefully the old King was still alive; I'd prefer to talk to a Slug that already knew me, even if it was only for a short time.

According to our wonderful plan, we had to somehow convince the Slug King that we should strive to achieve a peace with the Cyborgs. That wasn't going to be easy. But Phill assured us that the Cyborgs wanted the same thing, based only on Rabadootime's and Slob's behaviour. I wondered if we would ever see those two again. We'll see.

Assuming that we succeeded in this initial endeavour of our long list of nigh impossible endeavours, I had a plan for how to go about arranging the actual thing. A truly wondrous plan. At least, I think. That is, I hope. What I mean by that is, I hope that it is a truly wondrous plan. Although I was pretty sure.

It concerned how we'd actually meet with these Cyborgs; it's not like we could just bring them to Slugenis. That would be a bad idea. And very awkward.

But that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. It will happen anytime later, but not soon. So I didn't have to worry about it now. Although I would have to worry about it later.

And so our travels continued. Ethan spent more time in thought than was usual for him; it seemed he was struggling with some kind of concept that he had yet to bring up. Well, it's not like I didn't have many things to explain to him that I still hadn't. It brought me a strange sense of satisfaction to hear his perspective on things before he knew what was truly going on.

As usual, I spent lots of time with Boy; even though Frank, Rosetta, and Carmen were all my equally best Slug friends now, Boy and I were still closer. They didn't question this or fault us for it. We were age-old friends, from long before their time. Such close bonds didn't happen often, but when they did, even the Empire knew to stay out of the way.

How unfortunate it was that I had to go on that one mission out to Earth without him... and yet how fortunate it was at the same time. Looking back now, I wondered what would have happened if it was anyone but Boy who had tried to rescue me. No one else would have circumvented an order directly from the Slug King just for what another Slug believed, especially one in my state. Only Boy would have done it, and only for me. This brought me a satisfaction that was altogether not strange.

Phill continued to spend a lot of his time deep in thought, but he didn't seem to be as morose as he used to. If he ever was; you never know with those Cyborgs. But he also spent much more time than was normal for him talking to others. As much as he puts on an act of being depressed and bored, I had a good feeling that he was quite enjoying himself. And I was happy for that, as Phill was beyond just an ally now; he was one of us, no doubt about it.

The remainder of the voyage progressed like this. We ate. We slept. We planned for how we would end a war that had been fought for longer than any one of us could fathom. Needless to say, we had lots of different ideas.

But they all came back to the same point; there needed to be a way for those Slugs still stuck in the Honour ideology to achieve that which they craved the most - and that was why we needed to use my wondrous plan. It wouldn't be easy, that was for sure. But the way I see it, if life could always find a way, then as proponents of life I suppose that we could as well.

Oh, and something about a glorious fight, too.

Chapter 1 - Discussions

The Human

I had just had a dream. I know this because I just woke up like five seconds ago, and I still had the vestiges of that dream lingering in my mind. It had something to do with clouds - but that was all I could remember. Stupid unreliable dream memory. What is the point of your subconsciousness sending you all these cryptic messages if they were not only un-interpretable, but you instantly forgot them as soon as you woke up?

Trying not to think about what Phill would say on the matter, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. Looking around the ship, I saw Frank and Phill sitting together leaning against the back wall, Phill's favourite position. Actually, my favourite position too; it sure beat trying to sit on one of those spiked dishes.

Nearby, Matthew, Rosetta, and Carmen were in a three-way Slug communication pattern, all six of their hands layered atop one another in order. They weren't speaking out loud, so who knew what they were discussing?

Boy was sitting in one of the dishes, concave Slug seats, sleeping. Being in space and all, everyone just slept whenever we felt tired. Well, except for Phill, of course.

I grabbed a nutrition bar from my stash (breakfast was apparently the most important meal of the day, even though there was no semblance of day or night on a spaceship), shambled up to Phill and Frank, sat down next to the Slug, and tried to catch up on what they were talking about.

... last very long? Frank was saying.

Correct, Phill told him. Cyborgs are not built for longevity; this is due to the fact that most of us die in battle long before our natural lifespan would end. Cyborgs and natural lifespan? They didn't sound like two words that should be together.

"What is your natural lifespan?" I asked him.

He looked at me. It varies widely based on internal configuration, batch, place of construction, resource and time constraints at the date of construction, and chance in the process. He paused for a bit, then anticipated my annoyance and decided to give a proper answer. I would estimate an average to be approximately fifty years, although this is by no means definitive, and may not be accurate for me due to my unique condition and experiences.

I sensed some important information coming up, so I called to the others, Hey, guys, come over here! We're talking about Cyborg stuff!

Coming, Carmen called back, and stopped to shake Boy and wake him up. For some reason, the Slugs couldn't hear while they slept, so you couldn't just yell them awake. Weird, I know.

I looked guiltily at Phill. Oh. Sorry for just inviting them without asking you.

I am not offended, he replied easily. If I meant for this information to be only for you and Frank, I would have explicitly stated so.

Once everyone was assembled, Matthew asked, What's going on here? And don't tell me it's something useless, because I was giving a great explanation of the most epic movies.

It would takes ages to go through all of them, I told him.

He shrugged. Maybe. But I made a start.

Frank said, Phill just estimated his life to last about fifty years.

It was a tentative estimate, the Cyborg clarified.

So that means you only have thirty years of life left, Matthew told him.

It was a tentative estimate, he complained, getting annoyed now.

More like twenty-nine and a bit, I corrected Matt. If you include all the time after you freed him.

Phill gave me a glare that made me laugh.

What is it that causes you to die? asked Frank.

He responded, Apart from being killed while in battle with Slugs, which is the main cause of death, there are two ways for a Cyborg to die. Firstly, we must be so damaged either through battle, through some accident, or through damage caused by time, that it is more economical to create a new Cyborg from our recycled parts than to repair us.

I was horrified, and it took a second or two before I could respond. You mean that if you get injured enough, they'll just finish you off because it's cheaper to replace you?

Cheaper in terms of resource cost, yes, he replied.

I didn't know what to say to that, but Matthew said, Of course, you don't need to worry about that. No matter how damaged you get, we'll never do that to you. So what's the other way to die?

Phill smiled at him. I know, and it is appreciated. Another way for a Cyborg to die is if a fatal flaw develops within the hardware of our CPU. Should this happen, the magnitude of the problems would vary from outright death to major cognitive and thought process issues to malfunctioning of some minor utilities.

That doesn't sound very good, I murmured.

Hah, Matthew actually laughed. Sounds like rampancy to me. And that means that the chances are that Ethan will outlive you! He's still got like fifty years of life left in him, probably more.

I guess so, I said. But after all this time away from Earth, I don't know how old I am. I actually just realised that - I had no idea how old I was. It was a strange feeling, not unpleasant, but definitely not a good one either.

"Probability also indicates that he may outlive you, Phill told Matt. At eight cycles old, you are five cycles off the old Slug King, who died at thirteen." According to my awesome calculations, since Matthew spent two cycles on Earth for a total of twenty years, a cycle was an average of ten years. So five cycles meant he had fifty years of life left. And yes, I know that I'm extremely good at maths.

And that was an old age as well, Boy nodded his head. So that Slug I had seen was an old one? It had seemed pretty similar to every other Slug, apart from his shape I guess.

Indeed, Matt said. But we can all agree that Rosetta, Carmen and Frank here will all live the longest. He suddenly rounded on them. So it's up to you to continue our legacy, you hear that!?

Yes, we hear, Carmen said.

There was a longish pause before Phill said, Perhaps it is time to begin the discussion of the events on PD-0034:N. Matthew had told us that we'd get around to doing a full group discussion of it, like what we'd done after what happened with Earth.

Meh, why not? asked Matt.

Because we might not be ready to discuss it? suggested Boy.

Well we are, aren't we? Matthew challenged him.

So let us begin, Phill said to keep him on track (it could be difficult sometimes).

The Cyborg

It was time for our discussions to begin.

So, Matthew began. After we left Slugenis, we went back to Earth to prep everything and all that. Then we found out that Earth got attacked by a small amount of Cyborg ships, but that the Humans were prepared for them and wrecked them. He looked across the group at Ethan. I'd give you a high-5 now, Ethan, but I can't be bothered getting up.

Long-range high-5, the Human suggested, and the two of them raised their palms towards each other and thrust them in each other's direction.

Knowing that Boy had trouble comprehending the purpose and reasoning behind the phenomena of a 'high-5', I looked at him and saw, via the expression on his face, that he still had that trouble. For my part, I simply converted every physical performance of a high-5 into 'We are friends with each other, and, at this moment and due to current circumstances, we enjoy being friends with each other'.

So then, Frank continued, we landed on Earth and began the trading. After we'd gotten all the weapons we'd needed, we transported them into space with the scout ships, and outfitted them onto our star cruisers.

How did you actually do this outfitting? asked Ethan.

By fitting them out, Matthew informed him. I deemed this statement to be a waste of time, as a simply rearrangement of the terms that constitute another term rarely contributes to the understanding of its meaning.

Boy was the one to answer Ethan's question. Like your missiles, Slug ones are made up of the ignition at the back, and the explosive at the front.

Well, I think missiles are a bit more complicated than that, the Human said.

A simplified version of the truth is most conducive to understanding basic concepts, I told him.

Yes, thank you, Phil, he said back.

Boy continued with, Both of these two parts were modified based on what we'd learned from the Humans. You know that we also traded information and knowledge as well as technology, don't you?

Ethan shook his head, and Matthew said loudly to him, Well now you do!

So, Boy went on. It turned out that the combination of fuels we use to power our rockets is not as efficient as it could be, according to Human knowledge. Of course, we couldn't change this once the fuels have already been mixed, but we sent this information back to Slugenis to test.

Wait, I thought that you actually made all of the changes to the star cruisers before we went to PDN? Ethan asked.

Well, Matt said guiltily. I kinda didn't mean all of that; most of the stuff we learned wasn't something we could just add to our ships without having tested them back at Slugenis 1st.

Oh, the Human replied. Carry on then, Boy.

Boy did. Other changes we sent to Slugenis for analysis included adding a second-stage burn instead of just a single stage, which allows for extra manoeuvrability and unpredictability in avoiding the projectile, changing the exhausts to point at multiple directions for this same reason, and possible improvements to the technology of firing and then guiding the missile.

And, of course, we added Human explosives to them, which are much more powerful than Slug explosives, added Carmen.

And sent the plans for how to build these explosives back to Slugenis, concluded Boy.

So you're saying, said Ethan, that even after how well we did at PDN, there are still many improvements to be added to your missiles?

Indeed, sighed Matthew. Not only that, but there are many improvements to be added to many different aspects of Slug technology. Not to mention EMPs, which, if they work, will completely change the battlefield. He regarded me. In another time and place, it would not be looking good for the Cyborgs right now.

No, I agreed, it wouldn't. Fortunately, however, Rabadootime, Slob, and all of us have agreed that the war no longer needs to continue, and that it is time to bring it to an end.

Yeah, how exactly do we plan to go about doing that? questioned Ethan.

We're not finished our discussion of the events at PDN, I informed him.

Fine then, he told me. Go on.

I complied. We arrived at PDN and defeated the initial opposition, due to our improved technology.

And Matthew's ability to control our ship and dodge 3 incoming projectiles, added Rosetta.

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm awesome, the Slug in question grinned at her.

Continuing, I said, Once we approached the planet, an unforeseen counter attack was launched from its far side, surprising us with its force. Decisions were made, and most of us, plus Terry and Kerry, went down to the planet while Rosetta stayed in the star cruiser to assist us.

Rosetta nodded at this, while Ethan got a strange look on his face when I mentioned Terry's name. It appeared he was still mourning the Slug's death; it also appeared that he was the only one still mourning it.

What did you do up in space, Rosetta? asked Carmen.

Well, Rosetta began, I wasn't the oldest Slug up here, and Matthew and Boy were out of contact, so I was following orders from a 5 cycle old Slug on one of the other star cruisers.

5 cycles doesn't sound very old, commented Ethan.

Matt told him, Remember, that Slug is 5 times older than the average Slug. I have no idea how many Slugs there are - it must be in the very high billions, if not perhaps a trillion - but the number of Slugs who reach an old age is still very low. A Slug 5 cycles old is a fairly high rank. Well, what passes for a Slug rank.

"How is it that you and Boy both got so old then?" the Human asked.

Matthew and Boy looked at each other. We are in... special circumstances. But I'll explain that later. Keep going, Rosetta. It seemed that there was more involved in the relationship between Matthew and Boy than there at first seemed. Perhaps some special function of Slug society? As with all things, I would have to wait some time to find out.

Meanwhile, Rosetta went on. It was this Slug that told us to start firing missiles at the planet - which was our objective - keeping a large area around where any Slugs had landed clear. Keep in mind that this was while fighting the remainder of the Cyborg fleet.

You were bombing the planet while in a space battle? asked Ethan.

Yes, Rosetta said. After you had left our star cruiser in the scout ship, I got some assistance to avoid the first barrage of missiles headed towards me. I then retreated to fairly far back from the battle, which is why we sustained no damage, but the radio signals I was receiving back there were too convoluted for me to interpret. Perhaps Matthew could have, but I couldn't, so I didn't know what was going on. Matthew smiled at this.

Continuing her description of events, Rosetta said, However, I found out later, before you returned, that some of the missiles fired towards the planet were purposefully intercepted by Cyborg vessels.

They sacrificed themselves to save PDN? asked Boy.

I understood this. Cyborgs can be rebuilt, I explained, assuming that they remembered that the ships above PDN were sentient Cyborgs in their own right. Valuable information, however, once lost, can be difficult or even impossible to recover. The Cyborgs defending PDN knew their priorities.

Wow, said Ethan, almost to himself.

In either case, Rosetta went on, "we quickly defeated them, although many star cruisers were also lost. The 5 cycle old Slug survived, but his ship was so severely damaged that he could no longer communicate with us. So another 5 cycle old Slug, slightly younger, took over, and ordered us to continue bombing the world in force and to send scout ships full of Slugs to the surface.

Soon, most of the Slug army that had come were on the planet, destroying any Cyborg resistance and searching for your group so that Matthew, or Boy in his place, could retake control of the operation. From what I learned, there was little ground resistance on PDN, and the Slugs had no problems.

That is true, Boy told her.

After they found you, you know the rest from there, Rosetta said. She took an audible breath, but I could not fathom its purpose since Slugs did not usually require uninterrupted breathing. Now it's your turn. What happened on the surface after you landed?

Wait! shouted Matt. I want to be the one to say it.

Oh no, groaned Ethan. This is not going to end well. Matthew gave him a falsely shocked look, but I understood why Ethan would think that; and I concurred.

The Slug

'Right then', I said, then gave myself adequate time to mentally prepare myself. Once I was mentally prepared, I continued. 'So, we landed on our scout ship, then got out. There were these grassy things all over the joint, and they were wriggling around everywhere. It was pretty weird.'

'Yeah, it was', Ethan agreed with me.

I went on, 'So we saw some strange Cyborg building that just looked like a plain metallic box with some holes in it, and decided to go in.'

Ethan added, 'It was the most boring building you could possibly imagine.'

'What is the purpose of constructing it to be not boring?' asked Phill.

'Does there have to be a reason?' the Human asked him back.

'Yes', he replied.

'Either way', Frank tried to steal the reins of the story from me, 'we entered the building.'

Stealing it back, I added, 'And it was pretty plain on the inside as well. Nothing special.'

'That is not entirely accurate', Phill dared to correct me. 'It was filled with computers, most of them performing an unknown purpose, and the ground descended into an underground network of tunnels.'

'And the walls had two indented lines running along them', added Ethan.

'Indeed they did', I said. 'Phill reckons that they might've been for some Cyborg vehicle that we never saw.'

'I hypothesised so', the Cyborg said.

'You know', Rosetta told us, 'you're not making it very easy for me to follow along with what you're saying.'

'Yeah, blame Frank for that', I grinned. Frank gave me a look that seemed to say Why are you persecuting me?

'So Phill plugged into one of the computers - ', Carmen began.

'Found nothing interesting', I added.

' - and we started to walk along the underground tunnels', she finished.

'We were then encountered by Slob', Phill told Rosetta.

Ethan said, 'And he was really weird. He almost looked... Human.'

Rosetta thought about this, but before she could respond, Boy told her, 'The Cyborgs ran off, and we continued down the tunnel up to another room with more computers.'

'You forgot how going straight turned out to be a good idea', I said. 'Not right, right Ethan?' I asked the Human. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I chuckled.

'Boy has already told me what you discovered up there', Rosetta told us.

I was shocked at my age-old friend. 'You... You spoiled the surprise!? Why would you do that? Why, oh why!?'

'It was an important topic!' Boy nearly shouted back. 'I felt she needed to know some things before we gave her the full story.'

I was silent for a moment, fake-fuming at him, when Phill said, 'I agree with Boy.'

'Hrmph', I said, crossing my arms. 'You guys always gang up on me.' At the guiltily ashamed look on Ethan's face, I told him, 'Not you, just the others. At least someone here likes me.'

He smiled brightly at this, just as Phill said, 'I believe that Matthew is attempting to purposefully make us feel bad.'

'Is it working?' I asked him.

He paused before replying, with, 'Somewhat.' Hah; I just made a machine feel somewhat bad.

After a silent moment, Rosetta said, 'So I know that Rabadootime's original mission was to arrange a peace with Earth. It is quite interesting.'

'Indeed', replied Phill. 'However, we can discuss the implications of this at a later time.'

'So', I tried to continue the story, 'after that super-revelation, we went back through the tunnel we'd entered, and tried to make our way back to the scout ship.'

'This is when we got ambushed', Ethan said.

' Herded is more like the word', I corrected him. 'They just forced us to take a different path by attacking three sides of a four-way intersection.'

'Hmm', the Human mused. 'We got herded that way by five Cyborgs on three sides, so that makes fifteen of them. So why didn't they just outright attack us?'

Rosetta answered him, 'By this point, I think that we were already majorly attacking the planet and sending many Slugs down in ships. Those fifteen Cyborgs were probably meant to go and assist a major Cyborg defence against the much larger threat. It wouldn't be worth wasting them on a team of eight.'

'And yet they still managed to funnel us to where Slob wanted us to go', I stroked the slime that made up my chin. 'He must have been in communication with them to have organised this so perfectly. Could he have done it using radio communication?'

'Possibly', Phill answered, 'but unlikely. I believe it would take a greater emergency for Slob to decide to utilise that medium; his objective would have been to protect the data flow to the Cyborg Archives, and we did not represent a substantial threat.'

'Well', Ethan told him, 'maybe you didn't, but I was the biggest threat on that entire planet!'

'Whatever the case', Frank said before Phill could reply, 'we took that path and ended up in another above-ground building, where there were several Cyborgs waiting for us.'

'Too bad they were no match for my skill', Ethan said smugly.

Boy laughed at him, but Phill decided to say, 'You didn't do anything.' Ethan gave him a dirty look. As in, a look that was not clean. He really needs to wash that look.

Continuing the story, Carmen said, 'We emerged onto the surface - '

'Drank some water and didn't die', I interrupted her.

' - and started to travel', she went on. 'We soon saw a large tower which we presumed to be for radio communications, and started walking towards it.'

'This was also the point that we began to hear the loud noises that we now know were caused by the Slugs' bombardment of the planet', came from Phill.

Rosetta said, 'It seems that they started to fire missiles much closer to you at this point then, as we would've been attacking the planet for some time already in far-off locations.'

'Before we reached the tower', Frank said, 'we were attacked by a group of Cyborgs who dropped off Cyborg ships on what Phill calls Cyborg Magnetic Insertion devices.'

'Yes, Boy has explained this to me', Rosetta said. I glared at Boy, and he gave me a apologetic look.

'I believe that the ship would have been cut off from all radio communications', Phill said, 'due to the nature of PDN. Which means that either Slob planned it in advance, or they acted of their own accord.'

'Which do you think it is?' asked Carmen.

The Cyborg thought for a bit, before replying, 'It would depend on how busy Slob was at the time as he organised the other resistance efforts, but, given his apparent interest in us, I would say that he didn't order that as he didn't intend to defeat us.'

After we all considered this, I told Rosetta, 'In either case, we easily beat those Cyborgs and reached the tower. There was a nearby building which we entered, and it led to an underground chamber that was beneath the radio tower.'

'This place was absolutely full of computers', Ethan added. 'And it was only the beginning. Most of the place, we couldn't see from where we were. But, it was big.'

'Really big', I added onto his add. 'Super big. Like so big, that if you ever saw it, you would be like, "Wow. That is so big".'

'Anyway', Frank emphasised, 'Phill discovered some important information about the layout of PDN, but was detected by Slob who informed him that he was coming.'

'So we hurried outside to confront him', I quickly said, not wanting anyone to realise how I had purposefully stalled them in the hope of Slob finding us so I could kill him.

'He came up to us', Boy continued for me, 'hoping to negotiate a ceasefire, but we obviously couldn't have known that, so we attacked.' I was grateful that he didn't reveal that it was me who'd lunged at him without waiting for the two groups to start talking. Grateful indeed.

'That was when Terry, Kerry, and myself got attacked', Ethan said. He looked down. 'Unfortunately, Terry jumped in front of a Cyborg about to attack me, and didn't survive the blow.'

Phill tried to console him, 'If Terry didn't block it, then you surely would have been killed.'

I didn't learn that Terry had saved him until a bit later. And it was wrong of me; it was wrong, I know it was wrong. But I was infinitely grateful that Terry had died instead of Ethan. I hoped that I wouldn't feel the same feeling of relief should one of my good friends die to save the Human.

'Well', Carmen went on. 'We defeated all the Cyborgs, Phill convinced us to keep Slob alive, we joined up with the main Slug army, and we left the Cyborg in the Slugs' care as we left. And now we're on our way to Slugenis.'

'So that's that', Rosetta said. 'And now we're going to try and convince the Slug King to arrange a peace between the Slugs and Cyborgs?'

'Yeah', I told her. 'Doesn't sound too difficult, does it?'

'Slob's and Rabadootime's cooperation will be essential to this endeavour', Phill input.

'It actually sounds quite difficult to do', Boy told me. I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

We had a nice moment going too, what with the both of us smiling at each other and all. It was kind of touching, actually. So, in classic fashion, Phill chose this moment to say, 'Of course it will be difficult; but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't attempt it.'

Alright, I concede that was kind of cool as well. And actually kind of wise, too, in a way.

The Human

So that's that, I said to Rosetta. Now everyone's up-to-date.

Indeed we are, Phill felt the need to reply, as if I was talking to him or something.

Well, now what? I asked after a pause. As good as all that had been, it hadn't taken very long. As much as my time-perception was inaccurate and biased, I could still guess that we were a ways off of Slugenis. Which meant that I needed something to do. Unfortunately, nobody answered me. Great.

The ship was now in its 'night-time', which meant that the lights that seemed to emanate from the metal of it were slightly less luminous than normal. Of course, the ship's whole day-night thing meant absolutely nothing to me and my sleeping patterns, since I had no idea how long the phases lasted for, only that it was longer than my body clock's idea of how long a day and night ought to be.

The point of all this was that I was about to ask Matt (or anyone, for that matter) how the light got into the ship, and how the day and night cycles worked, but Matthew did something first which gave me a better idea.

What he did was this - he yawned. Now, before you think, 'oh, nothing special about that', let me explain. Obviously there's nothing special about yawning itself, but the Slug did it somewhat differently. As he stretched his arms, they seemed to elongate themselves to pronounce the act of the stretching. His mouth opened much wider than looked normal for a mouth, and his back bent backwards which thrust his chest out forwards, much more than looked healthy for me were my spine to try such a thing.

As he finished, he came back to his normal position and rubbed his eyes. How do you do that? I asked him dumbly.

What, yawn? he asked back. Well, it's simple really. I just throw my hands back, take a really deep breath, make sure it's loud -

"Why do you do that? interrupted Phill. You don't need to breathe, so you don't need to yawn."

He answered, Well, this starcruiser actually has the Earth mixture of air, or as close as we could get, so from time to time we need to take a breath to supplement the oxygen coming in through our exterior slime. And I have an inclination to yawn because that's what humans do all the time, so it's what I do.

So you only do it because it was once expected of you, as a human? asked Boy.

'Yep, Matthew answered. I guess it's now ingrained in my behaviour or something like that. Some deep psychological reason. Actually, not that deep."

This is all well and good, I told him, but it's not what I meant.

Phill asked me, What did you mean?

I meant, I said, the whole slime thing. How does it shift around your body to make different shapes? It doesn't make any sense.

Matt smiled hugely at me. Yesss. Insert evil laugh here; muahahahahah! He looked around shiftily.

What was that evil laugh for, exactly? asked Boy. It's a rather simple explanation.

Yes, but it's epic at the same time, Matt told him.

I find it hard to believe that an explanation can be described as 'epic' , Phill said.

Then you haven't heard much explanations from Matthew, Carmen told him.

Except I have, he told her back. The Slug simply smiled, as if was a child that didn't grasp the full meaning of anything that he saw. Or, in this case, heard.

Anyway, Matthew emphasised, I'm beginning over here. He turned to me. So, Ethan. Do you want the short or long explanation? Long explanation? OK then, long explanation it is.

Phill opened his mouth to complain about this, but Matt first shot him a look that silenced him. So, he said. This is what's going down. In order to understand how our slime shifts, you need to know the structure of our slime cells. Now, I'm sure that there are a multitude of important differences between Slug and human cells, stuff that would make Pauline's day. But I'm only focused on one aspect right now, which is the cell wall. Well, it's called something else in animal cells, but whatever.

I remembered some of this stuff from what I'd learned at school. See, it wasn't just a waste of time after all. From what I know of it, I said, the cell wall, or whatever its proper name is, is just a barrier that separates different cells from each other.

Precisely, the Slug said. However, while humans and other animals on Earth have a single wall, Slugs actually have two walls on each slime cell. It is the second wall, the outer one, that is connected to the second - or outer - walls of adjacent cells. You follow?

He means to say, do you follow with his reasoning, Phill helpfully input.

Yeah, I said slowly. You're saying that each slime cell is surrounded by two walls, and each is connected to each other cell by the outer wall, not the inner one.

Yep, Matt said. Now, firstly... He sighed. "This could end up being a long explanation, because a lot of functions of Slugs are explained by this cell structure. OK. So. The outer cell wall is actually some distance away from the inner wall, and is therefore not really a part of the cell. Well, it depends on how you look at it. I mean, it could be argued that - "

Continuing on with the explanation, Frank interrupted him, the two walls are connected to each other via many coils.

Hey, I was about to say that! complained Matthew.

"You were taking too much time by leading the conversation down irrelevant avenues", Phill informed him.

"You're an irrelevant avenue!" the Slug yelled at him.

Trying to steer the discussion back on course, I said to the group, So the inner and outer walls are not touching each other, but are connected by coils. How do you know this, Frank?

Before he could answer, Matt interrupted with, The coils are made of fibres or proteins or something, I don't really know. In case you wanted to know. That I don't really know.

Frank then told me, Every Slug has a basic understanding of our makeup, just as humans do. I could definitely imagine that not everyone knew about cells and DNA and other important(ish) stuff, but didn't want my race to look dumb or anything, so I didn't mention it.

Carry on then, was all I said.

Matt quickly complied. As you command. Do you remember when I said that slime cells were slightly acidic?

I have a vague memory, I said. Something to do with eating.

Yes, he replied. That is how we digest. However, I kind of lied. Well, more like altered the truth to make it easier to understand. Yeah. Sorry bout that.

If it aided in the comprehension of the topic at the time, then it is understandable, Phill said, and he was kinda right.

Go on, I told the Slug.

Well, Matthew went on, it is not the cells themselves that are acidic; it is actually these coils of fibre that are. So, the more slime cells there are touching whatever food we've eaten, the more fibres there are touching the food, and therefore, the more quickly digestion occurs.

What kind of food do Slugs normally eat? I asked.

Hah. That's for another time, Matt told me.

Boy added, This is already looking to be a lengthy discussion.

Well, I shrugged, we've got time.

Phill added in a low but significant voice, Yes. Yes we do.

The Cyborg

So then, Matthew informed us, time to carry on. What was I up to?

As he had concluded talking not more than 5 seconds ago, I refused to remind him of where to commence. However, Ethan told him, You were talking about the fibres that connect the two walls being used for digestion. Because they're slightly acidic.

Acidic? asked Matthew. Or acidy?

Acidic, answered Frank, mirroring what my response was likely to have been.

Alright then, Matt said. Where was I? Oh, that's right. So. The outer walls of each cell are connected to the outer walls of each other cell; this is the makeup of slime. 2 important points to make before I go on; the outer walls of a cell can also connect to our brain directly, which is how we send signals throughout our slime. And, the outer walls of the cells are where Metal Slug particles reside, as they are made to bond to that specific substance. Going on now, and this is the magic part - well, not really magic, but you get the gist - the connection between slime cells isn't a hard fix. If you know what I mean.

I did not know what he meant, and was about to inform him of this, but Ethan asked first. What do you mean? It appeared that he shared my lack of understanding; this indicated that the fault lay not with me, but with the explainer.

Well, Matthew elaborated, What I mean is that these outer walls are not fastly stuck to the other outer walls. It's not like point a of one wall is stuck to point b of another, and these points do not move. He stopped speaking for a moment to stroke his chin, although the purpose of this act eluded me. I knew it was a common way for a Human to organise their thoughts, but for a Slug that technically did not have a chin? There were some things that I could not begin to understand.

How should I explain this? Matt mused, in a low voice that indicated that he did not intend for us to hear it.

How about - began Boy, but Matthew wasn't allowing any one else to take over his discussion.

Wait, wait! he interrupted, I got it! Okay then. So the walls of the cells aren't strictly attached to each other, they're only connected. Now - and this is how slime shifting occurs - the walls are able to slide off of each other. You know what I mean?

Umm, Ethan replied. Kind of.

Alright, imagine a slime cell as a balloon. A blown-up balloon, that is. Based on what I'd heard from my radio, a 'balloon' is a small rounded piece of elastic material that is filled with air and then closed off to entrap this air. Unfortunately, the radio never explained the fundamental purpose of such a device. I had devoted a considerable amount of my ample time during those days to try and divine why any intelligent being would create such a thing - and had achieved nothing but failure.

Balloon, the Human said. Got it.

In your mind, I hope, Matthew smiled at him.

Where else would it be? asked Rosetta.

And what exactly is a balloon? asked Frank. It was a good question

Bah, Matt told them. Never mind for now. And as for you, Rosetta, there could be one floating around in here, don't you think?

Based on my knowledge of it, I had a good feeling that there was no balloon anywhere on the ship.

So about the balloon, Ethan tried to continue.

Ah, Matt said, yes. Pretend that a slime cell is a balloon. Now get another balloon - in your imagination, that is - and hold the two together. That's how slime cells are attached to each other. However, the balloons are not stuck fast or at a definite point. They can roll around all over the place, all over each other, all over... the place. You see what I mean now? The cells are connected to each other, but the point of this connection is variable, not at a fixed location.

Oh yeah, I think I get it, Ethan