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    A Guy's Guide To Pregnancy: Preparing for Parenthood Together
    A Guy's Guide To Pregnancy: Preparing for Parenthood Together
    A Guy's Guide To Pregnancy: Preparing for Parenthood Together
    Ebook185 pages1 hour

    A Guy's Guide To Pregnancy: Preparing for Parenthood Together

    By Frank Mungeam and John Gray

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    About this ebook

    Every day, four thousand American men become first-time dads. There are literally hundreds of pregnancy guidebooks aimed at women, but guys rarely rate more than a footnote. A Guy's Guide to Pregnancy is the first book to explain in "guy terms" the changes that happen to a guy's partner and their relationship during pregnancy, using a humorous yet insightful approach.

    Future fathers will find out what to expect when they enter the "Pregnancy Zone." They'll discover the right and wrong answers to Trick Questions like "Do I look fat?" They'll also learn baby-shower etiquette ("It's sooo cute!"), the truth about sex during pregnancy (yes, you can touch her) and Boys' Night Out (negotiate it), plus delivery room dos (stay upright) and don'ts (complain about missing the big game).

    A Guy's Guide to Pregnancy is designed to be guy-friendly -- approachable in appearance as well as content and length. It is divided into forty brisk chapters, one for each week of the pregnancy.

    Frank Mungeam is the executive producer of local programs at the ABC-TV affiliate in Portland, Oregon, supervising the Emmy-nominated daily live talk show AM Northwest and the series Parenting in the 90's. Mungeam combines his years of expertise as a communicator and his personal experiences as an expectant dad to create a humorous yet helpful guide for guys.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAtria Books/Beyond Words
    Release dateMay 1, 2012
    ISBN9781451676471
    A Guy's Guide To Pregnancy: Preparing for Parenthood Together
    Author

    Frank Mungeam

    Frank Mungeam is a Boston native and when he’s not busy being a dad, he works as an executive producer of local programs at the ABC-TV affiliate in Portland, Oregon. Mungeam supervises a live daily talk show and a weekly debate forum.

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      Book preview

      A Guy's Guide To Pregnancy - Frank Mungeam

      Let’s talk about sex.

      Sex = fun. Right? Not necessarily. The decision to start a family can sometimes change this equation. All too often, the moment you and your partner decide to expand, the formula becomes sex = making babies. In some cases, it eventually becomes sex = work.

      If you’re lucky, you will get your partner pregnant in the first month and you’ll be able to brag about your virility to all of your guy friends. Your partner will look at you with admiring eyes. Life will be good.

      More likely, you’ll be like normal people and need more than one night at the slot machine of conception before you finally hit the sperm-egg-embryo jackpot.

      The problem is, once you and your partner decide to start a family, she’ll want to be pregnant immediately. Unfortunately, the odds of that happening are about the same as they are in Vegas—although losing is cheaper and a lot more fun.

      BY THE NUMBERS

      Approximately half of the women who plan their pregnancies conceive within three and one-half months. One in five try for more than nine months before becoming pregnant.

      GUY TALK

      The doctor told my wife, It may take you up to nine months to conceive because of the stress of your work schedule, your physical activity, and so on. That was on Wednesday. On Saturday we conceived! Super swimmers!

      —John

      Still, it won’t be long before her initial excitement that We’re going to make a baby! becomes the worrying question of Am I pregnant yet? You may begin to feel guilt and self-doubt, not to mention a little performance anxiety. Worst of all, making love may start to seem like a chore.

      Soon, she’ll be scheduling sex when her cycles are right—it’s all very scientific stuff—and you will feel like the telephone repairman, coming by at specific times to do your job. When my wife and I were trying to conceive, it began to feel less like trying to start a family and more like some complex scientific experiment.

      After a while, you’ll wonder how anyone ever had an unwanted pregnancy, since when you want a baby you can’t seem to accomplish the feat.

      You will start worrying, Is it me? And worse, "Will I have to go to a doctor and endure those tests?"

      Before you panic, try to look at the bright side. If you’re not getting her pregnant, you can at least have fun trying. Countless men would love to be in your situation—regular lovemaking without fear of conception.

      One day, when you least expect it, your partner will greet you and break the big news: She’s pregnant!

      You’ll never forget the moment your partner tells you she’s pregnant—probably because she’ll do it right in the middle of the big game!

      Everyone reacts differently to this news. You might cry tears of joy, or you might respond with shocked surprise, even though you had quite a bit to do with making this happen.

      For most guys, this is the first time we realize the magnitude of what we’ve done. Panic may set in. Parenthood is no longer some theoretical possibility. You’re going to be a dad!

      You may have jumbled visions of dirty diapers, potty training, Little League games, curfew arguments, report cards, first dates, and wrecked cars.

      You might also want a stiff drink. I don’t blame you. This is a big deal. Expect to be afraid.

      The top ten fears of expectant dads

      1. My partner will turn into a crazy woman.

      2. My partner will get fat and unattractive.

      3. She’ll never lose her pregnancy weight gain.

      4. We’ll never have any money again.

      5. I’ll never see my guy friends again.

      6. I’ll never be able to have sex with my partner again after seeing the delivery.

      7. I’ll have to deliver the baby.

      8. I’ll faint during the delivery.

      9. We won’t have a healthy baby.

      10. I’m not ready—I won’t be a good dad.

      GUY TALK

      I found out on my birthday. I came home with a six-pack of beer . . . and she handed me a birthday card and said here you go . . . and the card said something like Happy Birthday— I know you’ll be a great father!

      —Michael

      Some of these fears are well-founded. Fortunately, many are not. Here’s the good news and the bad news:

      My partner will turn into a crazy woman

      True, Fortunately, you’ll get her back. You’ll just have to wait nine months. For help, see chapter 3.

      My partner will get fat and unattractive

      Yes and no. She will gain plenty of weight, but many men are delighted to discover how beautiful their partners look to them during pregnancy. If you’re one of those men who isn’t delighted, don’t worry. Pregnancy is temporary. Unless you’re also afraid that. . .

      She’ll never lose her pregnancy weight gain

      Most women lose most of their pregnancy weight. However, let’s give them a break if their bodies change slightly as a result of bearing our child. After all, they are going to carry a twenty-five-pound weight for nine months and then have the pleasure of spending a day pushing a very large object through a very small opening.

      We’ll never have any money again

      True! Children are a financial black hole. The average household spends nearly $10,000 in the first year on their new baby.

      For your sake, I hope you bought that surround sound system before you found out she was pregnant.

      GUY TALK

      I guess how I thought I would have reacted was to leave the country! But I couldn’t have been happier. I just thought it was the best thing that ever happened. I was ecstatic.

      —Mike

      I’ll never see my guy friends again

      Probably. You’ll pay so dearly every time you party with them while your poor pregnant partner stays home that you’ll choose the lesser penalty and keep her company.

      For tips on negotiating more Guy Time, see chapter 21.

      I’ll never be able to have sex with my partner again after seeing the delivery

      Many guys have this concern. In reality, there’s another reason why couples might not resume sex immediately after their child is born: They’re so exhausted that all their bed-related fantasies involve sleeping.

      Don’t worry, you will still have sex after your baby is born. You’ll just be darned careful about accidentally making another junior—because by then you’ll understand the consequences.

      The corollary fear is, Does pregnancy mean no more sex for nine months?

      Not necessarily. Some women find that pregnancy increases their sexual appetite. For others the reverse is true. A lot depends on you and your creativity. For helpful hints, see chapter 12.

      I’ll have to deliver the baby

      You have been watching too much television. The odds are you’ll have your baby in the hospital like everyone else.

      If you’re really paranoid about this possibility, my advice would be to avoid taking a cab to the hospital, since cabs always seem to be the place where people do wind up delivering their own babies.

      I’ll faint during the delivery

      Or the related fear, "I’ll stay on my feet and see everything!" You probably won’t faint, but every man worries about this. See chapter 34 for helpful hints on keeping upright.

      Fortunately, once labor starts, most guys become far too engrossed in the delivery of their child to remember that they ever had this fear.

      We won’t have a healthy baby

      This fear is a constant companion of pregnant couples. Fortunately, 97 out of 100 couples have healthy babies. You can increase your odds by making healthy diet and lifestyle choices.

      I’m not ready—I won’t be a good dad

      If you didn’t worry about being a good parent, that would be cause for concern. There is no right way and there is no class that can fully prepare you. Being a good dad is like being a good husband. You try to do the best you can and learn as you go. The fact that you worry about it is the best predictor that you care enough to do a good job.

      She’s Going to Be a Mom!

      When your own shock and elation from this announcement subside, prepare for some instant changes in your partner, too.

      Like you, she is reeling from the impact of this news. She’ll share your combination of disbelief, terror, and joy. She’ll also start to think, talk, and act like a woman possessed.

      GUY TALK.

      I was in a state of shock. I was dazed and confused. I swear it wasn’t until about six hours later, on the freeway driving home, that it hit me. And I started crying. I was just overwhelmed with joy, and excitement, and terror!

      —John

      I was lying in bed suffering from the flu. My wife came into the bedroom and announced that she was pregnant We had been trying to have a child for a while, and I knew that it was important to say something significant. All I could muster, however, was a weak Oh, that’s great. I could tell she was a little disappointed in my reaction. The impact of the news didn’t fully hit me until a few hours later when my fever broke. Then I was amazed, excited, anxious, and

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