Losing It

LOSING IT

A Young Adult Novel by Eliza Jane

Losing It Copyright © 2012 Eliza Jane

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written permission of the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, or any events or occurrences, is purely coincidental. The characters and story lines are created from the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously.

Cover Image used under license from iStock.com

Chapter One

My idea of making lunch involved tossing a loaf of bread, and packages of lunchmeat and cheese onto the picnic table. We were all capable of figuring out the rest. I mean, why weren’t the boys expected to make lunch for us?

Hang on, Nikki said, blocking me from setting the stuff down. She unfolded a plastic red checkered tablecloth and spread it out on the table. The picnic table was too long for the cloth to cover it completely, but Nikki carefully centered the table cloth so that equal amounts of the table were exposed at either end. There, she said, satisfied.

I set the paper plates and ingredients in the center of the table and plopped down on the bench seat. She rolled her eyes at me and began untwisting the tie from the bread, then opened all the packages and unscrewed the top of the mayo and stuck a plastic knife inside. She put a plate at each spot on the table.

What do you guys want to drink? she called over to the guys who were still struggling to set up their tents. Cleary, they were not boy scouts. Cam and Conner were brothers and Josh was Conner’s friend. We would all be camping at Crystal Lake, just like we did for a week every summer with their families.

I watched as Conner stuck a long tent pole between his legs and danced around like he was riding a horse, thrusting his hips back and forth. Nice, I muttered under my breath. Cam whipped him in the back of the knees with another pole, stopping his dance.

Nikki reached into the cooler and grabbed three bottles of water and set them on the table. What’daya want? she asked me, fishing around inside the cooler. She pulled out a Coke for herself.

Diet, I said, ignoring her look. She insisted that drinking regular Coke had helped her boobs come in this past year, and didn’t understand why I wouldn’t just try it. I told her there was no link between high fructose corn syrup and female breast tissue growth.

Once their tents were up, the boys slid into the bench seats and started grabbing for the bread, fighting over who could get more. Conner and Josh’s tent sloped unevenly to one side and Cam’s was a tiny one-man tent set up on the far edge of the campsite, as if he preferred to keep himself apart from everybody. Cam and Conner’s parents and Nikki’s parents stayed in rented the cabins behind us, but we liked our tents closer to the lake.

Cam took six slices of bread then frowned, staring at the meat.

Oh, one sec. Nikki hopped up and rooted around in the plastic tub next to the picnic table. It annoyed me that she anticipated his needs so readily.

Here. She held out jars of peanut butter and jelly to him. He took them and started spreading the goo messily across the bread. I’d forgotten what a picky eater he was. Conner and Josh each made two sandwiches loaded up with almost all the lunch meat, leaving Nikki and I barely enough turkey left to make our sandwiches.

So, Cam, what happened to Justin? Nikki asked. Justin was Cam’s best friend and normally came every year too.

Conner spoke up before Cam could swallow. He got busted with pot last night, so he’s grounded.

I exchanged an uneasy look with Nikki across the table. There went our plan.

Nikki and I had strategized about this summer trip for the past few months. She was finally going to make a play for Cam, who she’d been crushing on for oh, about seventeen years, which left his friend Justin for me. Nikki peeled off the crusts of her bread, leaving her just the middle part of the sandwich.

Conner pointed to the scraps on her plate. Are you going to eat that?

No, go for it. Nikki offered him the plate. Hadley? She eyed me. I would not be giving up any of my food to get a guy to like me. I had my limits.

I’m going to eat all mine, sorry. I took a big bite of my sandwich. Nikki gave me a death stare, but I thought I saw the corner of Cam’s mouth tilt up. The boys inhaled their food and then left their plates behind to inspect their dirt bikes in the bed of Cam’s truck. They tugged on the straps holding them in the trailer and fussed over parts I had no names for.

You guys comin? Conner asked, a goofy grin planted on his face.

Yeah, we just need to change, Nikki called, sweeping all the paper plates into the trash and grabbing my hand. She pulled me toward the tent. I didn’t understand why I needed to change. I was wearing shorts and T-shirt. Put on your swimsuit, Nikki urged reading my mind.  And a cute tank, she said, looking me over with scrutiny.

Once inside our tent, we dug around in our duffle bags and began changing. It was no big deal, we’d changed in front of each other a million times. I knew Nikki’s body almost as well as I knew my own. She was petite and had many of the standard cute girl features – tanned skin, round blue eyes and always perfectly polished pink nails. She sat down on the edge of her air mattress and brushed out her long blonde hair, then redid her pony tail. She put on some lip gloss then snapped her compact closed.

Ready? she asked.

I grabbed my sun block and iPod and we squeezed in the backseat of the truck next to Josh. Nikki didn’t complain about sitting in the middle where she could lean up towards Cam and Conner.

Cam’s truck was ancient and used to be red, but was now sort of a washed-out rusty pinkish color. The inside smelled faintly of boy cologne and gasoline. Not a bad combination, to be honest.

We pulled out on the gravel road towards the state park, where they rode their dirt bikes on the trails. Cam paid for an annual pass rather than the daily rate and we pulled out onto the sand dunes. Endless rolling beige hills of powder fine sand and blue sky always made it feel like the best of summer had arrived.

Bottles of Gatorade splashed around in the front cup holders as we eased over the first hill. They always dropped off us at an area we named the dust bowl. It was this flat, hollowed out sandy patch surrounded on all sides by hills. There was a small clump of trees for shade, and Nikki and I spent countless hours laying out in the sun there. The boys would come back occasionally throughout the day and raid the cooler Nikki always made sure to pack.

We approached the first hill and Cam stopped so we could all admire it in its full glory from this vantage point. The big dune rose up and met the sky in front of us. It seemed to get bigger every year instead of shrinking the way most things built up from memory had a way of doing. I braced myself because I knew what was coming next.

Cam floored the gas across the straight-away building enough speed to make it up over the big hill. He gunned it and the engine roared louder as my back was thrust against the seat. The nose of the truck dropped down suddenly as we rounded the crest, and my stomach dropped as we momentarily became airborne. Nikki let out a small scream and clutched Cam’s bicep from the backseat. He rode the breaks on the way down the hill and we bumped around inside the cab of the truck. Cam drove these hills with practiced ease and we flew up and over several more hills on our way to the dust bowl where he parked the truck under the shade of the trees.

Nikki and I spread out our sheet on the warm sand while the boys freed their dirt bikes from the back of the truck. Summer just wouldn’t be the same without the sounds of engines revving, the smell of exhaust or being covered in sand from head to toe. Nikki wasted no time in removing her tank top to free the girls, barely contained by her new yellow triangle top bikini.

Strip down. She motioned to me. I preferred to wait until the guys hopped on their bikes and left, but then I remembered the promise I made myself this was my summer to break out of my shell. I even let Nikki talk me into ditching my tankini and buying this ridiculous red halter bikini. She said it pushed together and lifted what little I had on top and the red complimented my dark brown hair and fair skin.

I took a deep breath, sucked in my stomach and lifted my shirt over my head. I dropped it casually on the sheet, like it was no big deal. I felt all three guys turn and stare. All their chatter and trash talking died on their lips, and they stood looking at me, their bikes momentarily forgotten.

You guys, Nikki called. Sun block. She waved the tube of sunscreen above her head, bring their attention back to her. Your mom always yells at me when you get burnt your first day out.

They flipped their kickstands down and sauntered over to us. Cam still hadn’t taken his eyes off me. I wanted to press my knees together and fold my arms across my chest, but instead I stood there with my shoulders back returning his look. I was always trying to figure out what color his eyes were, they were a cross between blue and gray, but seemed to change depending on his mood. When he wanted them to, they could look much darker.

Come here, Cam, Nikki said holding the sunscreen out in front of her. He held out his hand, palm up. Don’t you want me to… she started.

I’m not taking my shirt off, he said. She pouted and squirted a quarter-sized glob of white lotion into his palm.  Conner wasted no time in pulling his shirt off overhead and tossing it on our blanket. Standing side by side, I noticed for the first time that Conner was taller than his older brother this summer, and he had definitely filled out more. His chest and shoulders had definition that was hard not to notice and he had a soft trail of golden hair on his abs that disappeared under the waist band of his shorts.

Lube me up, he said turning his back to Nikki. She squirted the lotion into her hands and then passed the bottle to me. She started rubbing his back like it was a massage. Josh smiled at me wryly.

I don’t think so. You’re on your own. I tossed him the lotion. After everyone was sufficiently protected from the sun, the guys turned to leave. I loved watching the way they kick-started their bikes, slamming down onto the pedal and hearing it roar to life. They took off over the big