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    The Rocket Science Tales of Tech Support: True Life Stories of a Computer Help Desk Technician in Distress
    The Rocket Science Tales of Tech Support: True Life Stories of a Computer Help Desk Technician in Distress
    The Rocket Science Tales of Tech Support: True Life Stories of a Computer Help Desk Technician in Distress
    Ebook174 pages2 hours

    The Rocket Science Tales of Tech Support: True Life Stories of a Computer Help Desk Technician in Distress

    By Dock Jenkins

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    About this ebook

    The Rocket Science Tales of Tech support is the hilarious romp detailing the technical exploits of a computer technician throughout his daily routine with all things computer related in today’s modern world of technologically challenge individuals.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateDec 1, 2014
    ISBN9781483542614
    The Rocket Science Tales of Tech Support: True Life Stories of a Computer Help Desk Technician in Distress

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      Book preview

      The Rocket Science Tales of Tech Support - Dock Jenkins

      CAUSE?

      DECLARATION

      I, Computer Technician Jenkins, do hereby swear on the Help Desk Troubleshooting Survival Bible Guide that all stories contained within to be true to the best of my recollection. All have been actual dialog exchanged between user and technician. Also while I do possess imaginative thinking abilities I could not have come up with the soon to be told tales in my wildest dreams or nightmares.

      This is NOT Rocket Science and I am NOT a Rocket Scientist, I am an Information Technology Specialist. While I’m certain I could design, build, program and launch a ballistic rocket for peaceful scientific or nefarious uses that is not my calling. I prefer the IT domain; this is my chosen profession of the past twenty plus years. In that time I have been no less than astounded by the onslaught of difficulties, inquiries and ultimately, resolutions to a multitude of problems I have received regarding personal and business computers. At times it has been enough to make me ponder the mysteries of the universe well, at least as it applies to the average human’s reading comprehension ability, understanding of basic instructions, and the age old question of whether or not the average adult is smarter than a fifth grader.

      I grew up during the advent of the personal home computer. My stepfather a budding computer technician himself was, and is to this day extremely interested in the latest and the greatest technology available for home use. I was exposed to early machines like the Atari 400, 800, 800XL and the Timex Sinclar 1000, I personally hated this machine because of the auto type feature. How the heck did such a small machine know exactly what you were going to type before you hit the keys? A feature that has lived on to haunt me in the current day smart phones some two decades later!

      Our family also had the Commodore 64, this to me was perhaps the Cadillac of the home machines back then. It was basically an oversize keyboard but it did so much and didn’t even have a mouse! Can you imagine? These machines were state of the art for the time. There were no LCD flat screens, plasma monitors, wireless mice, keyboards or networks. Forget scanners, webcams, and viewing video files or personal pictures on your pc. Are you insane?! What was a CD much less a DVD back then? I’m fairly certain we were just beginning to view movies on laser disk and the battle between Beta and VHS was still raging on. Listening to music on your personal computer was unheard of. And strangest of all they connected to your home television turning your black and white or color TV into a facsimile of a monitor for computing needs. While Totally Awesome at the time, this of course did not sit well with mother who did not enjoying having her living room family viewing device turned into a piece of office equipment no matter how many of us were fascinated by the new found technology. Unless it could tell her who shot JR it was time to shut it down.

      I realize I’m talking primarily to individuals that have grown up in the computer age.... And such historic references seem alien, but I can assure you this was life back then. I mean c’mon back in 1954 they theorized what the home computer would look like.

      Could they have been any farther off?! I mean look at that printer. What is that keyboard for? Is that a steering wheel on the left? Is that to navigate the information super highway or release the steam? Perhaps they were quite literal back in the day. And don’t get me started on the floor model TV mounted on the wall. While it’s nearly impossible to predict the future of what is to come, one cannot say they didn’t give it a shot. And yes, my many Information Technology friends and I get a great many chuckles and outlandish bursts of laughter whenever we view this picture.

      Now, I wholeheartedly admit, I am not the smartest computer technician out here. I would never boast such a claim especially since I have known several techs over the years that are by far superior at troubleshooting computer problems than I. What I will state however, is that I have an above average intellect combined with excellent reading and cognitive skills. Thus, when the obvious comes my way, combined with a unique way of describing technology, I’m often perplexed at the Users lack of understanding. And while I’ve never personally encountered someone using their CD-Rom device as a cup holder it has often been spoken of in computer technician folklore. Still, this is NOT Rocket Science!

      THE BEGINNING

      My earliest experience with computers could be described as euphoric in the early years. The Junior High School I attended was one of the first to get a computer in the classroom. It was an Apple IIe complete with 5 1/4 inch floppy drives - a marvel of technology back then. Some years later while enlisted in the US Navy I worked on one of the first office personal computers but this machine used 8 inch floppy disks! Somehow I had taken a step back. Of course all that changed once I entered the workforce. After college I landed my first computer Help Desk position at a proprietary software company that serviced the general public. This was the beginning of my budding career. I would enjoy the fruits of my four year academic labor and assist users from all over the country while increasing my knowledge of PC systems. Six months in my new job I realized why I had heard rumors of the first help desks sometimes being sequestered into the basements of buildings with no windows. Technicians were generally treated with such disdain and resentment that the humane society should have been called in due to the fact that lesser animals were treated better. The barrage of primary questions I received on a daily basis coupled with my ability to solve them was enough to swell my ego to unmanageable proportions that even the best psychiatrists could not endure much less revert back to normal. I suppose initial company managers that contained Information Technology departments did all they could to reign in their help desk technicians to keep them from proclaiming sovereignty over the establishment considering their intimate knowledge of the new found all important technology.

      Alas, I had good friends and a matriarch to help keep my ego in check. Still, I quickly grew frustrated at the average American adult intellect to comprehend simplistic computer operations. At the end of the day I would go home angry and confused at the lack of basic understanding of prompts and queries. My mother would try to console me by reiterating that not everyone went to school much less knew all that I did about computers. To which, I would respond, I could understand if I was asking the user to configure the drives of a server in a raid format so they backed up one another and never failed, but I am asking easy questions such as What version of the software are you on?, Can you select the following?, and When was the last time you rebooted your system? All of which garnered the least desirable responses such as Versions?, Select? I thought I was supposed to click... and What is a reboot?"

      The following calls are from that first Help Desk job. The proprietary software they sold came packaged with a detailed instruction manual, an installation CD, 3.5 inch install floppy disks and a quick reference guide in a large box. The company offered 30 days of free technical support with the purchase of their product. To me this was a questionable practice in those days and even more so now. If people refuse to read then they should pay for services, no technician was getting paid enough to deal with some of questions we had to endure on a daily basis.

      I realized after a few months that the Help Desk was basically the front lines. Now, while I had been in the military; served in two wars and put myself through four years of college I was not properly prepared for the bevy of queries that would have a profound effect on my mental state of mind.

      Thank you for calling Technical Support. How may I help you?

      How do I change the color settings on my computer?

      Can you point and click on...

      Now hold up sonny, I need you to slow down a minute and stop using all those technical terms on me.

      Point and Click are technical terms?!?!

      Thank you for calling Technical Support. How may I help you?

      I want to make sure this software will work on my system.

      Okay, what version of Windows are you working on?

      What are you talking about? I just put new windows in my house last year.

      Uhm... no. Not the windows on your house, sir. The Microsoft Windows version on your computer.

      Ooooh.

      Thank you for calling Technical Support. How may I help you?

      How do I print? I spent four hours on this last night and couldn’t figure it out.

      Again, the software came in a large box with a manual nearly two inches thick that included detailed instructions on how to perform all tasks within the software.

      Are you in the program?

      Yes.

      Do you have your report on the screen?

      Yes.

      Click on file then print option.

      Hey it’s printing now!

      Sir, by any chance do you have the instruction manual that came with the software?

      Yes, I have it sitting right here next to me.

      Okay.

      This guy wasted four hours of his life, that he will never get back, and not once did he even think to consult the

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