Deleting UR Ex: Getting over a breakup in a world of tweets. texts, and social updates
By Matt Borer
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About this ebook
It is my opinion that a breakup is the hardest thing to get over in life, including the death of a loved one, because there is never any real closure, and the person that broke your heart typically still lives in your world where you have to see them, hear from them, or just hear about them. Either way it can be very disruptive, depressing, and anxiety inducing. Combined with all of this is the complication that technology (i.e. texting, Facebook, twitter, etc.) create in a person's ability to overcome and move through a breakup. "Deleting UR Ex: Getting over a breakup in a world of tweets, texts, and social updates" is a no nonsense how to guide to get over a breakup, filled with individual stories of breakups and how this plan helped those suffering from the loss of the relationship fight through the pain and live to date again.
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Deleting UR Ex - Matt Borer
Deleting UR Ex:
Getting Over a Breakup in a World of Tweets, Texts, and Social Updates
by
Matt Borer, Ph.D.
A Step-by-Step Guide to Getting Over a Breakup
5th Corner Publishing, LLC
5th Corner Publishing, LLC5th Corner Publishing, LLC
5569-4 Bowden Road
Jacksonville, FL 32216
Copyright © 2012 Matt Borer, Ph.D.
All Rights Reserved.
All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages in a review; nor any part of this book be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or other, without written permission from the author. For information address 5th Corner Publishing.
Cover design by Chad Howard.
First 5th Corner ebook publishing 2012
Printed in the U.S.A.
ISBN: 978-1-938178-59-7 (Epub)
Visit 5th Corner on the Web at www.5thCornerPublishing.com
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
I dedicate this book to my brilliant, beautiful wife Samantha, and my amazing son Tyson. Without whom there would be no book to publish, and no happy ending to celebrate.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Introduction
*My Story
How to Approach Your Breakup: Glamorization VS. Reality
The Cell Phone Curse
*Computer Disconnection
Taking Care of your Body
Confidence is Crucial
Why is it so Hard to Get Over?
Clinical Depression vs. Just Feeling Down
The Stages of Grief and How They Relate to a Breakup
*Can't Get Enough
Internet Angst
Change Your Routine
Look Away
Guided Imagery for a Breakup
*It Just Feels Comfortable
Your DL
Occupy Your Time
Business Dealings
*Pack Light
Conclusion
About the Author
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my wonderful wife Samantha for her unending support throughout my education and the writing of this book. I would like to thank my parents for their encouragement and love, and my brother Zack; the talented musician who has shown me it is always worth following your dreams, no matter how difficult the challenges may be.
Special thanks goes to Alison Kaplon, Kevin Lancaster, and my brother Zack for their unique contributions and help with the 8 year inception of this project.
Introduction
So my relationship is over… What do I do now? When will I feel better? Who can I turn to that understands how I feel? Is there anyone out there who can help me?
I know how you feel. I’ve been there, I am there, and I am always there to some extent. The pit of your stomach aches, your chest is tight and you just don’t have the energy to do anything except wallow in your misery. I want to talk, convince, beg, reconcile, and give up.
I will do ANYTHING, to shake this feeling. Why don’t they want to be with me? What went wrong? Why can’t we talk? These questions have no clear right or wrong answer, but this book will ultimately help you to find a resolution to all of your relationship concerns.
You’ve tried to stay away from your ex, attempted to cry it out, but still nothing has worked. But this feels like more than just a failed relationship!
The need for this relationship is as strong as a drug; as appealing as a high. Unlike a drug, however, the fix is unobtainable and completely out of reach. Whether good or bad, the sting of a dissolved relationship is one of the most painful and difficult times in your life. It’s time to recuperate, recover, and repair. It’s time to focus on YOU again.
Because of today’s technology, breaking up is a lot more complicated today then it was as little as ten years ago. This includes the constant access to the internet, the inescapable cell phone and smart phone, each making it very difficult to stay away from the temptation of calling, e-mailing, texting, browsing a Facebook or MySpace page (a.k.a. "cyber-stalking) or instant messaging your ex. It used to be that people could just physically avoid one another to get over a breakup, but today, things are a lot more complicated. Disconnecting yourself from these technological complications is one of the most important steps to take in order to get over your ex. You may not know how to do this now, but you soon will. I am here to help you establish a roadmap to guide you through this process.
Nobody understands how you’re feeling. Not your family, friends, or colleagues. Not your brother or sister, and although your best friends say they understand, they just can’t. Not unless they’ve been through it. I’ve been through it and so have the other people whose stories you will read in this book. We’ve been there. We’ve fought through the hurt, anger and pain. We’ve made it through to the other side of the heartache and were able to date again. Not every highlighted action discussed in this book will relate to you, but read, learn, and examine the steps that you think will be useful.
Following the roadmap will allow you to speed up the healing process and put you on the road to start feeling better immediately. The breakup stories weaved throughout the book will help illuminate the fact that you are not alone in this difficult period, and can help you sneak a glimpse of other’s difficulties in their breakups. The breakup stories utilized in this book will allow me to provide you with a real life account of breakups in order to help you see the roadmap in action, to illustrate just how practical and effective this plan is. Together we are going to get you through this. You can be empowered!! You can be stronger!! You no longer have to be depressed!! Take the plan with you and follow these beginning steps.
I’m sure you have heard the saying having the upper hand
in a relationship, and as of right now, this is not a position you find yourself in. Your relationship has ended and there is nothing you can do about it. You may be feeling depressed, anxious, nervous, as well as other emotional responses, all of which are painful and, depending on who’s around, humiliating ways to react.
Together we can work to change these negative emotions into ones of empowerment and self-entitlement in order to help you grab the relational upper hand
back. Read on and you will be given the secret tricks to reposition yourself to an angle that will place you in a win/win situation. Not only will you get over your ex, but you may have them begging to have you back.
Do I really need to have my ex’s phone number stored in my cell? Do I need to have my ex as one of my friends on social media outlets? Do I need to continue to follow their tweets from Twitter?
The answer is NO, and as you read on you will start to understand why the simple step of removing your ex’s number from your cell phone, or taking them off of your friend list can be so important and empowering. The steps are simple. This book will show you how… Get ready to regain