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    101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried
    101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried
    101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried
    Ebook90 pages1 hour

    101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried

    By H. Norman Wright

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    About this ebook

    Respected Christian counselor H. Norman Wright draws from his extensive experience to help couples establish strong, loving marriages. Whether divorced or widowed, people who marry again face unique challenges. Through 101 questions, Norm helps readers know their own views and understand where they agree and disagree with their future mates on finances, roles, sexuality, children, responsibilities, and previous relationship issues.

    Couples will work together to:

    • make sure they’re ready for a new marriage
    • discover the essentials for successful remarriages
    • clearly communicate personal and family needs
    • establish realistic expectations for their new marriage
    • handle common problems in remarriage: previous partners, in-laws (past and present), merged families, money, sexual issues

    Offering plenty of room for written responses, this essential premarriage guide helps couples work through problem areas before they become issues. They will also discover areas of strength and agreement that will help them establish a solid foundation for success.

    Ideal for couples, study groups, ministers, and counselors.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarvest House Publishers
    Release dateOct 1, 2012
    ISBN9780736949071
    101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried
    Author

    H. Norman Wright

    H. Norman Wright is a well-respected Christian counselor who has helped thousands of people improve their relationships and deal with grief, tragedy, and more. A licensed marriage, family, and child therapist and certified trauma specialist, he has taught at Biola University and the Talbot School of Theology, given seminars, developed curriculum, and worked as a private practitioner. The author of more than ninety books, he resides in Bakersfield, California.

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    • 4/5
      Well-known marriage and family therapist H. Norman Wright has come up with a set of questions couples should discuss prior to marriage. The questions are probing and revealing. Many of them will take time to think about and discuss. It's a book that probably should be discussed in person with your future spouse rather than by phone, Skype, chat, or another means. Many couples may have already discussed some of these, but there will still be plenty which will give both parties a chance to know and understand the other better.
    • 3/5
      This book offers some useful questions to consider before asking someone to marry you. Hopefully, many of these questions will have already been answered earlier in the relationship. While some of the author's questions are repetitive, most of them provide an opportunity to dig into one another's backgrounds, convictions, methods, and dreams.

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    101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried - H. Norman Wright

    Notes

    1

    Establishing a Solid Foundation

    Today blended families have moved into the majority. Unfortunately, the divorce rate of second marriages is higher than first marriages. Lack of preparation and the abundance of unexpected problems contribute to this problem. 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Remarried is for you if you’re contemplating marrying again, whether you are divorced or widowed. It’s designed to address significant issues in advance so you can discuss differences in views and styles and establish a solid foundation of harmony before you make that lifetime commitment. This will give you a leg up for finding solutions when differing opinions and conflicts arise. You’ll also discover how to better work together to resolve issues and face the world as a couple.

    What will you find in this helpful book? A balance between significant and penetrating questions for you to discuss and brief, informative selections of beneficial information. The questions asked in this resource come from my experiences as a Christian counselor to thousands of couples, from conducting many marriage seminars, and from being a widower who is happily married again. Dozens of individuals who have experienced remarriage also contributed questions based on their experiences. Contemplating these questions and talking through your answers will hopefully help you create a relationship that will stand the test of time.

    Here are some realistic expectations to consider if you’re in a serious romantic relationship and thinking about getting married.

    • You can expect your second marriage to be successful if you dig in and work for the long haul.

    • The new marriage will be tougher than a first marriage. It will be complicated, exasperating, and tiring at times.

    • You can expect a slow building process.

    • You can expect some old scripts at times, but you are also writing a new script every day.

    • You can expect to want to run from it every now and then—but you won’t.

    • You will be able to solve the problems that often cause a run or rust mentality in second marriages.

    • You can expect this marriage to be different because you’ve learned many things from your previous marriage and how it ended.

    You will be asked many questions in this book. You may feel some are repetitive. They are, and there’s a purpose for that. The second time you see a question, your answer may be different because of the context or wording. This will help you dig a little deeper into your thoughts and expectations. Also, some of your ideas and thoughts will change as you work through this book and consider your views and your partner’s views.

    Can Romance Survive Practical Questions?

    So often we get caught up in our emotions and how wonderful it feels to have someone next to us when we attend events, travel, watch television, and go to church. Time together can be so exciting that we overlook how much we don’t know about the person. And sometimes we don’t even realize how much we don’t know.

    Even though time is valuable, spending it now to really get to know your potential life mate will do one of two things. It might save you from a lot of heartache and misery if you discover there are some values you can’t work out or idiosyncrasies you don’t want to live with. Or discussing these questions now will solidify your relationship, improve your communication, and help ease you over difficult spots when they arise because you’ve already covered them.

    During my many years of being a Christian counselor, I’ve heard so many people say, The person I married was not the same one I dated or honeymooned with. It’s as though he (or she) changed overnight. What happened? The answer is simple. The person asking the question married a stranger. There was either courtship deception, naïveté, not enough questions asked, marrying for the wrong reason, or marrying too soon. Here’s a good illustration.

    Let’s assume you have sufficient money to purchase a new car. You go to the auto mall where there are 16 dealerships. The lots are filled with cars of all makes, models, colors, vintages, and prices. You pull into the lot, park, and stroll over to a great looking car. It’s a previously owned model (which means used). It’s been around the block a few times. But you really like the way it looks and smells. You get in, and it’s very comfortable. There are a number of fun gadgets, including a GPS.

    A salesperson comes up and asks if he can help you. You respond, You sure can! I want to buy this car.

    Great. What would you like to know about it?

    Know? What’s there to know? I saw it. I’ve checked it out. I like it. I want it. Let’s draw up the paperwork.

    I can do that. Do you have any questions about its warranty, performance, estimated mileage, or the GPS? And since it’s a recent addition to our inventory, we haven’t even put a price on it. Don’t you want to know how much it’s going to cost?

    Not really. All I know is that I want it. And you don’t even have to wrap it!

    Would you buy a car in this way? It’s doubtful. In fact, it’s almost ridiculous because you’d be going into it blind. So no, of course you’d ask questions. It’s too big of an investment to not be careful. You don’t want to make a costly mistake.

    Unfortunately, many people who get engaged do a similar thing. They don’t ask enough questions. They like what they see, how they feel, what they enjoy doing, and that’s all that counts for the moment.

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