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    Dating Without an Agenda
    Dating Without an Agenda
    Dating Without an Agenda
    Ebook148 pages1 hour

    Dating Without an Agenda

    By Susannah Saccardo

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Hello my name is Susannah Saccardo. This book is about my personal journey during the last 20 years of dating and being in relationships. It is my story of how I used personal and spiritual development to learn, heal and grow through my interactions with men. I have been a dating coach for more than 6 years and I run a business called Linking Singles with my business partner organising events for single people to meet, network and possibly meet a love interest. What you will find in this book are some great dating tips, how to use on-line dating successfully and the inside scoop on how some men feel about dating and relationships. You will find spiritual guidance, useful tools and how to define some of your deal breakers. I believes we are approaching a new way of relating to one another in our intimate connections, where they are developed from the inside out, by understanding and honouring ourselves and our path. Enjoy!
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateJun 16, 2015
    ISBN9781483555942
    Dating Without an Agenda

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      Book preview

      Dating Without an Agenda - Susannah Saccardo

      Preface

      Hello my name is Susannah Saccardo.

      This book is about my personal journey during the last 20 years of dating and being in relationships.

      It is my story of how I used personal and spiritual development to learn, heal and grow through my interactions with men.

      I have been a dating coach for more than 6 years (www.owlpussycat.net) and I run a business called Linking Singles with my business partner organising events for single people to meet, network and possibly meet a love interest.

      What you will find in this book are some great dating tips, how to use on-line dating successfully and the inside scoop on how some men feel about dating and relationships. You will find spiritual guidance, useful tools and how to define some of your deal breakers.

      I believes we are approaching a new way of relating to one another in our intimate connections, where they are developed from the inside out, by understanding and honouring ourselves and our path. 

      Enjoy!

      Contents

      Introduction

      Chapter 1 - My journey

      Chapter 2 - A significant encounter…meet Ross

      Chapter 3 - On-line dating

      Chapter 4 - Some on-line do and don’ts

      Chapter 5 - How to pick a scammer

      Chapter 6 - Date for fun not the one

      Chapter 7 - The power of circular dating

      Chapter 8 - Drop your agenda (expectations)

      Chapter 9 - When someone doesn’t reciprocate

      Chapter 10 - W.T.F. (what the F**k!!!!!!!)

      Chapter 11 - Using your previous loves as a stepping stone

      Chapter 12 - Be, do, have

      Chapter 13 - You won’t meet anyone sitting at home on the couch!

      Chapter 14 - Be still, (someone has too)

      Chapter 15 - The art of flirting and dating (and useful tips)

      Chapter 16 - Secret Men’s Business

      Chapter 17 - Learn the Five Love Languages

      Chapter 18 - 104 Deal Breakers

      Chapter 19 - 10 excuses to get out of a bad date

      Chapter 20 - A new consciousness is upon us

      Conclusion

      Tribute

      Dating without an Agenda

      How to be present One Human Being to Another.

      By SUSANNAH SACCARDO

      Introduction

      If I had to give you one pearl of wisdom in this book it would be Drop your Agenda and you will find it explained in greater detail in the chapter called Drop you agenda. Picture this if you will. If everybody on this planet would drop their agenda when meeting up with someone new, regardless of the ‘why’ and sat in front of one another One human being to another and remained open, honest and trustworthy, imagine the possibilities and opportunities. I make this a common practice as I go about my day. If I find myself going into my checklist or it begins to sound like an interview in my mind, I pause and remind myself, one human being to another. Stay open, stay present and welcome the endless possibilities. As a result I have met some amazing people and had some interesting experiences. I often think what a wonderful world this would be if we could sit opposite one another one human being to another and see what comes of it.

      Every one of us has one asset that we can use anytime, given freely and that is, our SMILE. Smiling gives an excellent first impression, gives the other person the signal that you are approachable and means that you are friendly. Get into the habit of smiling when you make eye contact with someone. It is infectious and releases happy chemicals into the body. Obviously it needs to be genuine, but I find that after awhile it becomes a natural way of being and it is very attractive.

      Hello, thank you for joining me on my journey of dating, friendships, connections and relationships. I am writing this book because I truly believe in love, connecting with others, experiencing romance, flirting and forming friendships. I am by no means an expert, but I do believe my experiences have taught me some amazing skills, insights, observations and values.

      Over the years I have spoken with hundreds of men and women who are all saying the same thing, I just want to meet someone special and have a great relationship and yet whenever I was out and about and observing the dynamics between men and women when socialising, something was just not clicking. For as long as I can remember I have been fascinated with relationships and love and so a few years ago I created a business called The Owl and Pussycat. How to catch your match! My intention for that business was to inspire men and women with techniques, suggestions and attitudes to connect with each other in order to get a date and or enter into a relationship. (Check my website: www.owlpussycat.net and www.linking.singles). However as much as my intention was admirable I was finding it very difficult to get bums on seats. A few years later after meeting someone on-line and you will get to meet him later in this book, he suggested I write a book about my experiences with advice from my lessons learned as people weren’t always comfortable confronting the very thing that was preventing them from connecting with others and may prefer to read about it instead.

      My experience has shown me that anytime I organise or promote anything to do with dating or a singles event, it is the women who show up and I am still perplexed what we need to do to get men to come to the party so to speak. It is obvious to me that men want relationships just as much as women, yet it seems to be the women who are doing the inner work and a lot of the leg work. I am convinced, for our relationships and ways of connecting to get into flow we all need to do the inner work and by that I mean we must heal the aspects of self that is wounded, hurt, feels unworthy, betrayed, feels unlovable and is insecure. Only then can we start to build healthy wholesome connections with one another. I also believe that we are approaching a completely new way of relating to one another, a shift if you like and this may be one of the reasons so many of us are still single and scratching our heads. My intention is to help bridge that gap in some way. I hope that my words, experiences and thoughts will inspire you, stimulate you in some way and get you to stop and take a look inside and see if there is something that needs to be addressed in order to make the journey of dating, relationships and love a far more enjoyable, smooth and loving one. I want to help you create a relationship that creates a place of mutual respect, admiration and a safe space to grow and fall whilst being held with love.

      What I hope you will get as you join me on this journey, is a stirring in your heart, to approach dating from an angle different to what you have done in the past. I want you to know that the person you are looking for is also looking for you. No matter how difficult it might get at times, you must never ever give up. Perhaps there will be something that I suggest that resonates with you and inspires you to perhaps look at your interactions with others with a new and different perspective and intention

      Most of all what I want, is to create a way where we can relate to one another with mutual respect, honesty, fun and openness. It is my dream to witness millions of wonderful people connecting on many levels. At the end of the day we want to share our lives with someone, so we can experience validation and have someone witness our lives. I believe we want to have relationships in order to give and receive love. My biggest vision is to witness and experience relationships where we are greeting together to love unconditionally, allowing each other to grow and evolve within the sanctuary of a safe environment. Therefore when I go about my day and I see people who appear to be happy in each others’ company or I see an old couple, who after many years together still walk down the street holding hands, I smile and give thanks as for me it is confirmation of what is possible and does exist and what so many of us are craving. We can make it happen!!

      So my story goes:

      Chapter 1 - My journey

      I have been dating on and off and have had short and long term relationships for approximately 20 years and this book is about my experience and my journey. It isn’t the be all and end all. I believe there are no definitive rules when it comes to dating, finding a partner, relationships and love. In fact it has all very much changed in the relationships arena compared to perhaps our parents’ generations. My dearest friend once described it as Rubik’s cube gone wrong. We are experiencing some difficulty playing the love and connecting game because there doesn’t seem to be any fixed rules and if we enter a game without rules then basically we are making the rules up as we go, based on our own wants and needs (which could in themselves be a detriment to forming a relationship with another). Quite frankly we don’t know how to approach each other anymore. Is it ok for a woman to approach a man she is interested in? Is it still acceptable for a man to open a door for a woman? Who pays for the first coffee or dinner? How much contact should we have with one another when we first meet? When is it ok to be sexually intimate with someone new?

      We have become very sexually open and expressive but at the same time guarded at dispensing chivalry and charm. I think as a result we are missing some of the deeper elements of connecting with another. There isn’t anything wrong about our openness towards sex I am all for it, however it seems that this has become our bench mark and there is so much heart ache and confusion around it. It has become so readily accessible that often it becomes our first point of call so to speak, or the path most consider or first consider to get into someone’s life. I think we need to connect to each other at an emotional and mind level and have our values and beliefs line up. I am all for sexual connection, but I am so over being asked if I am good in bed! What does that mean anyway? What determines if someone is good in bed or not? Can I swing from the chandeliers, go for hours, scream my head off? I don’t believe this is what our connection is about. To me I want to feel the love swell in my heart and look into someone’s eyes and all I can think about is that it would give me great pleasure to make this person feel good and for that feeling to be reciprocated. When I am with someone I need to feel something in my heart to feel authentic. Yes I want to feel that chemistry but I need to feel attracted to him from my heart, otherwise it’s just a bit of fun.

      Our roles have become very mish-mashed and we aren’t very clear what the etiquette is when dating, whether it is in person or on-line. Women have become independent in the last 50 years or so and most of us no longer NEED a man. I know this has been necessary so that the dynamics between us could become more balanced but I think that now the pendulum has swung too far to the other side and now needs to find its place in the centre again. Intrinsically we are still hard wired in our genders and I think at a sub-conscious level some of these expectations are still at play. I believe men are still wired as the hunters and they enjoy the chase or the pursuit of a woman. Women are the nurturers and givers and want to create great connections and bonds. I have watched women almost give up their femininity as they associate it with giving up their power. Some women think that if we allow a man to open a door for us or pay for a meal we are giving up our equality somehow. We think that it is weak to show our vulnerability or that we would like a man to take care of us in some way as we have become so independent. I think of my femininity as the part of my nature that is soft and emotionally expressive,

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