Real Money Answers for Every Woman: How to Win the Money Game With or Without A Man

DEDICATION

To my mother, Marie, and late grandmother, Kathleen Grace.

Thank you for making me every bit of the woman

I humbly am today.

To my daughter, Reagan.

Being your mommy is the absolute greatest joy of my life.

I hope I live and leave a legacy that will inspire you always.

To the thousands of women who have trusted

me to counsel, coach, and mentor them.

Your resilience inspires me daily.

PCW

CONTENTS

DEDICATION

INTRODUCTION

SECTION 1: CREATE WEALTHY HABITS

Money Mindsets, Attitudes & Myths

I deserve it

It was an emergency

I bought it on sale

A couple bucks never hurt anyone

If I made more money, this would be easier

I’ll start later

I don’t make enough to save

I don’t know anything about money

It’s good debt

I’m just a giving person

Wealth Begins Within

What the heck is a financial blueprint, anyway?

My parents didn’t teach me anything about money. Now what?

How do I start changing the way I think about money?

What can I do to create wealthier habits?

Where do I find the motivation to change my habits?

I have so much fear around financial matters. How do I get over that?

Setting the Foundation

What is personal finance, really?

What if I’m not really a finance type of person?

What is the most important financial principle I should know?

How do you define wealth?

How do I set financial goals I can achieve?

Why should I care about what’s going on in the economy?

What other resources should I use to get control of my finances?

SECTION 2: EARN MORE MONEY

Workplace Wisdom

Why haven’t I found my dream job?

What can I do to get noticed for the job I want?

How do I negotiate a higher salary?

What does my personal life have to do with my professional life?

How do I avoid workplace drama?

Isn’t it true that mean girls make more money?

How do I know when it’s time to find new employment?

Get Your Hustle On!

How could I possibly start a business and keep working?

How am I supposed to balance a job, a side-business, and a family?

How do I even know what I’m good at?

How can I begin making money from my hobby?

What if I’m just not the salesy type?

What can I do to market my business?

What are the basic business lessons I should know?

How can I network effectively?

You Are Your Best Investment

How can I afford personal development when I’m broke?

I’ve tried lots of self-help systems. Why hasn’t anything worked?

What’s the difference between a mentor and a coach?

Should I go back to school if I already have debt?

Is it possible to avoid student loans if I go back to school?

What’s the real difference between grants and scholarships?

What should I do with a financial aid refund check?

How can I take advantage of loan forgiveness?

SECTION 3: MANAGE MONEY WISELY

Get It Together!

What documents should every woman have on hand?

How can I keep my finances organized?

How long should I keep financial documents?

What software do you suggest for managing money effectively?

What professionals should I have on my financial team?

How do I choose the right professionals for my personal finance team?

Budgeting Effectively

Why do I really need a budget?

How do I differentiate between needs and wants?

Why is budgeting so freakin’ hard?

How do I make a budget the right way?

How do I know if I’ve created a realistic budget?

Can you explain the concept of living by percentages?

What if I have inconsistent income?

Will my creditors really move my due dates to fit my personal budget?

Saving and Reducing Debt Simultaneously

What’s the difference between short-term and long-term savings?

How much do I actually need to have saved?

Seriously! How can I possibly save six months of income?

I’ve heard of an emergency fund, but what is an opportunity fund?

If I save on my own, do I still need my employer’s retirement plan?

You’re insane! How could it be possible to save too much or pay down too much debt?

Aren’t there forms of good debt?

Is it okay to buy stuff while I’m still in debt?

What is a debt eliminator, and how do I determine my debt-free date?

What’s your take on payday loans?

How do I know if I should just file bankruptcy?

I’ve already filed bankruptcy. Now what?

I’ve pretty much paid off all my debt. Now what?

Isn’t buying a home a great investment and savings tool?

The Fundamentals of Banking

What’s wrong with using check cashing centers?

How do I know my money is not safer with me than in a bank?

What’s the real difference between a credit union and a bank?

What’s the difference between a checking and savings account?

What should I look for in a checking account?

What should I look for in a savings account?

Where’s the best place to save my opportunity fund?

How do I stay away from ATM machines?

How do I avoid overdraft fees?

Can I open a new bank account if I owe money to another bank?

Why can’t I just use pre-paid cards?

Boosting Credit

How do I obtain a copy of my credit report?

What information should I expect to see on my credit report?

What should I do if there are items on my credit report I don’t recognize?

What’s a credit score, and how is it determined?

What’s the difference between installment debt and revolving debt?

What’s the difference between a credit card, charge card, and debit card?

What Should I Do If I’m Terrified of Credit Cards?

What about department store credit cards? Good or bad?

Can I build or rebuild credit without credit cards?

How do I begin to clean up my credit now?

How do I keep the credit cards I have in good standing?

Should I close a credit card once I pay it off?

What should I say once I get my creditor on the phone?

What should I do if I’m being harassed by a creditor?

How do I prevent identity theft?

SECTION 4: RELATIONSHIPS AND MONEY

Your Honey, Your Money

What are the warning signs of a financially irresponsible person?

Are there questions I should ask about money while we’re dating?

I prefer to date men with money. Does that make me a gold digger?

What should I do if discover my mate is fundamentally bad with money?

How can I make my man better with money?

I make more money than my man. Why do I feel like he can’t handle that?

Each time my mate and I discuss money, things get tense. How can we get through this?

How do we decide who should manage the money?

I chose to stay home with the kids. Do I still have a right to be involved with the money management?

Should couples share bank accounts?

Do you suggest I keep a secret stash my partner knows nothing about?

At what point should I accept that the money issues have completely ruined our marriage?

How do I recover financially after a divorce or break up?

Friends & Family or Financial Foes

How can I tell if I’m financially enabling someone?

How does co-signing a loan for someone else affect me?

Should I lend money to friends?

What’s wrong with borrowing money from my friends or relatives every once in a while?

How do I deal with girlfriends who have it all?

I think my friends are taking advantage of me financially. How do I protect myself, but keep the friendships?

How do I find the courage to say no to a loved one that needs help?

I said no, and now my loved one isn’t speaking to me. What next?

Kids & Money

How can I make sure my young children have fun learning about money?

When and how do I give my children an allowance?

I think I may have entitled children. Can this be changed?

You really think kids should work?

What should I be doing to make sure my child can attend college debt-free?

How can I say no to my adult child?

APPENDIX A

APPENDIX B

APPENDIX C

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

CREDITS

COPYRIGHT

ABOUT THE PUBLISHER

INTRODUCTION

THIS IS BIGGER THAN YOU

I must have appeared confident and in control as I took the stage at the kickoff of the Act Like a Success tour to face the largest audience I’d ever addressed. Hair and makeup flawless, I looked pulled together and self-assured, but my knees felt like they could buckle at any moment. More than six thousand men and women who wanted to do more with their lives, people who wanted to have more purpose, more fulfillment, and more material success, sat at attention.

I’ve done a lot of speaking over the last several years, but this moment was surreal. I was the opening act to the man who had once been my boss when I was just a college intern. I shared my story and some specific strategies, and as I left the stage, applause lingered behind me. I was enjoying the satisfaction of knowing I’d touched people, inspired them to believe in their potential, and given them tools to take ownership of their financial well-being, when I ran into the man they’d all come to see. I’d just opened for the founder of the Neighborhood Awards, nationally syndicated radio host, television personality, and media mogul Steve Harvey.

He’d chosen me, the little girl from South Central, Los Angeles, a neighborhood infamous for illegal drugs, street gangs, and civil unrest following the Rodney King verdict, to speak on the main stage of his premier event. He’d chosen me to teach people how to shift their money mindsets. It was a far cry from where I had come from in South Central, and a long way from my situation six years earlier, lying on my bathroom floor, crying and feeling guilty and ashamed because everything we’d earned and built was gone.

My husband and I were young up-and-comers, building our empire together, when the 2008 recession hit. And it hit us hard. Our seven-figure real estate business closed its doors, leaving sixteen employees out of work at the worst possible time. We lost all the investment properties we’d accumulated and faced foreclosure on our home. We had to turn in those matching Range Rovers we enjoyed driving. Things got so bad so quickly, I considered pawning my wedding ring to make ends meet. When all was said and done, we went from living in a six thousand square-foot home in Southern California to a six hundred square-foot apartment in Metairie, Louisiana. It was a long, hard, and fast fall.

You might say I lost everything in the 2008 recession, and I did lose all of my material wealth. But I still had my skills and education, the work ethic my mother instilled in me at a young age, my ability to build relationships, my steadfast husband, and my determination to do my part to take care of our family. Most of all, I had the knowledge that rebuilding my wealth would begin by facing reality, owning up to the choices that led me to this financial downfall, strengthening my positive money attitudes, and rejecting the money myths that so many people were falling for in the face of similar setbacks.

I reflected on the part I’d played in our downturn, and I worked to build an unshakable money mindset, allowing me to make the most of all those other gifts. In that state of humility, my previous passion for financial education also developed into a deeper sense of compassion for the money struggles I saw so many people fighting to overcome.

During that dark time, I took what work I could find to bring in some cash. The jobs weren’t always pleasant, but I learned something from each one. Whether it was a new skillset, a new relationship, or some new knowledge I would later use to build my own business, I stayed alert and took home more than a paycheck. I continued to nourish and strengthen my money mindset with positive affirmations, personal and professional development, and a network of people who believed, as I do, that we all have the power to improve our circumstances.

My family doesn’t live in that tiny apartment anymore, and I no longer worry about whether or not I’ll have enough money to put food on the table, but it was not an easy journey. It took work. It took sacrifice, but since that setback, just six years ago, I’ve built a career as a speaker, coach, and personal-finance educator. I’ve written three books and published articles in Black Enterprise, the Huffington Post, and numerous other publications. I’ve been interviewed by Forbes, SUCCESS magazine, and Bloomberg Television, to name a few. I’ve spoken on several radio shows and landed a regular segment on The Steve Harvey Morning Show, sharing the mic with the people I once served as a college intern. I’ve even stepped onto the set of The Steve Harvey Show to share my personal finance expertise with his television audience. Along the way, I’ve had the privilege of sharing the stage with some of today’s personal development superstars, including Lisa Nichols, Valerie Burton, and Angela Jai Kim.

My goal in writing this book is for every woman to be able to hone their money mindset, so that no matter what life throws them, they’re able to bounce back and be better off than they were before. I’ll answer all of your most pressing money questions, even the ones you didn’t know you should ask.

I’m offering you a more balanced approach to your relationship with money. You’ve heard all the experts say you should budget and cut back on spending, but those are just two obvious parts of financial empowerment. To really win the money game, you have to understand multiple aspects of personal finance. The four sections of this book will help you master the ones I believe to be the most fundamental.

In the first section of this book, Create Wealthy Habits, we’ll take a deep look at your current financial situation. This examination will help you identify the roots of your money problems and replace them with wealthy habits. These are the things wealthy people consistently do, feel, and think to create a rich life. These habits will lay the foundation for everything else you’ll do. When you eliminate the fear, shame, anger, and false modesty polluting your money mindsets, you’ll position yourself to take complete control of your personal finances. After that, there are no limits on what you can achieve.

I intentionally placed this consideration of your mindset at the beginning of this invaluable guide because the fact of the matter is that you can master all the other areas, but if you fail at this one, you’ll fail with money. Perhaps you know someone who won a large lawsuit settlement, only to end up broke a few years later. Of course, we’ve all seen movie stars and musicians face public humiliation as their bankruptcy filings are splashed all over the news, while everyone tries to figure out what happened to the millions of dollars they earned over the years. Mastering your money mindset is the key to keeping you out of this sad position.

In Earn More Money, I explore ways you can increase your income. I show you how to earn more in the job you have or make the leap to a job that pays what you deserve. I help you to consider options such as creating a side hustle while you continue to work your nine-to-five, so you can supplement your income and possibly cultivate that side gig until it’s a flourishing entrepreneurial venture that replaces your day job.

You see, I’m sick and tired of hearing personal finance experts tell women to skip their lattes or stop buying shoes and purses so they can eke by on what little money they bring in. They make it sound like so many of us are struggling simply because we like an occasional treat. Of course, you need to be a good steward of the money you have, but the truth is that most of us don’t make enough money. When your income is insufficient, you can turn off the cable service, buy generic cereal, or cut back on driving to conserve gas, but you’ll still come up short.

You have the power to increase your income so you can eat out for lunch when you want and still pay your bills, save money, and invest for the future. It’s okay to enjoy spending money on nice vacations and designer clothes and extracurricular activities for your children. It’s okay to purchase all of those things, as long as you earn enough to afford them while you meet your other financial goals and obligations. I believe, practice, and teach that you can have it all through discipline, not deprivation. I’ll help you master this, as well.

Of course, we need to discuss how to make the most of whatever income you have. If you triple your income, but you don’t know what to do with all that extra cash, you’ll never improve your overall financial situation. In Manage Money Wisely, I walk you through the steps you need to take to organize your finances, budget for expenses, build savings and reduce debt, and make the most of your banking relationships and credit score. These may not be the sexy parts of personal finance, but they’re essential to your success.

Finally, in section four, we get into an area that never fails to stir up controversy. Relationships and Money shines a light on the ways in which the people closest to us can often be our greatest obstacles to wealth. The good thing is that you have a choice in how you allow money to affect your marriage, friendships, parent-child relationships, and more. You get to decide whether those relationships will contribute to your bottom line or cost you the opportunity to be financially free.

I show you several options for managing money within your marriage, and I share ways to identify a man’s potential to help or harm your chances for financial success before you ever get to I do. I also give you the support you need to set boundaries that protect your money in other relationships.

As you read through these pages, you’ll notice that some of this information seems like common sense. You may realize that you’ve known some of these things for quite a while, but despite your good intentions, you haven’t implemented any of them. At the root of this inaction is your money mindset. So don’t skip over that section in your rush to get to more practical matters. Shifting your mindset may take a bit of work, but it makes all the difference in your ability to be consistent and avoid detrimental behavior.

As I left the stage that day and crossed paths with Steve Harvey, he told me, This is what you’re supposed to do. You’re going to change lives. Please know that this is bigger than you. One of my greatest pleasures is knowing that I am fulfilling my purpose and that the work I do touches people and makes a material difference in their lives.

Still, with all the traveling from city to city to speak at conferences and events, it’s easy for me to take that impact for granted. A recent experience reminded me of just how much helping people claim their birthright to an abundant life really does matter.

After speaking in Washington, DC, our second stop on the Act Like a Success tour, I arrived at the airport to find that my itinerary was wrong. I was at the wrong airport, and there was no way I could make it to the right one in time to make my flight. I spent the night with a girlfriend and dragged myself to the airport the next morning, wearing the same clothes I’d worn the day before.

After another mix-up at the correct airport, I finally got things sorted and arrived at my gate feeling worn out and frustrated. While I waited for my flight, I noticed a woman staring at me. I wondered if she was judging me for my bedraggled, stayed too late at the club look, but I was honestly too tired to care anymore. Finally, she approached me and asked if I was Patrice Washington.

My mom gave me your book, she said. She went on to explain that she’d recently gone through a divorce and her husband had left her with all of their debt. She was broke and broken. My book had given her hope that she could find her way out of it.

In that moment, all of the frustration I felt dissipated. I realized everything I’d gone through in trying to get out of that city had been in service to this woman. My delays had given her the opportunity to thank me in person for blessing her with my book when she needed it most. It was humbling to be reminded that so much of the work I do touches lives and makes a difference to people.

Your situation may be worse than that of the woman in the airport or not nearly as dire. Either way, my wish is that this book will offer you the promise of a new beginning, just as it did for her. This is your guide along the path to financial empowerment. However, your success with Real Money Answers for Every Woman is dependent upon the action you decide to take.

Read it from cover to