Mindsets for Parents: Strategies to Encourage Growth Mindsets in Kids
By Mary Cay Ricci and Margaret Lee
3.5/5
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About this ebook
Mary Cay Ricci
Mary Cay Ricci is an education consultant and speaker. She was previously the Coordinator of Gifted and Talented Education for Baltimore County Public Schools. She holds certification in gifted and talented education from Johns Hopkins University where she is currently a faculty associate in the Graduate School of Education. She is the best-selling author of "Mindsets in the Classroom: Building a Culture of Success and Student Achievement in Schools."
Read more from Mary Cay Ricci
Mindsets in the Classroom: Building a Growth Mindset Learning Community Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Create a Growth Mindset School: An Administrator's Guide to Leading a Growth Mindset Community Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Increasing Diversity in Gifted Education: Research-Based Strategies for Identification and Program Services Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
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Reviews for Mindsets for Parents
10 ratings4 reviews
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This work by Ricci and Lee is written for use by parents, teachers, coaches to help children from toddlers to becoming adults, this is a long over due work. It not only provides the information that a parent or guardian will need to set changes in the child but also themselves. The work is full of advice and set up in such a manner as to walk the reader thru testing themselves and the child. Full of case examples and exercises to cause the reader to get involved in the process whether the child is needing encouragement in school, sports or the arts. The authors help the reader to understand the difference between their actions and words to encourage the child and to see their standpoint whether that point be neutral, fixed, or growth in its context. The authors provide plenty of sources and book references and charts and worksheets for the reader to make use of while reading the work. The authors express how the reader change their own mindset while reading the work and how to interact with the readers child's teachers, coaches, etc. This work can be used in every part of a child's development and helps to clear the air in regards to how a child's brain develops also. Great book for use by not only parents, but teachers who need a extra boost to their teaching skills in dealing with children who might not be getting everything they need to develop at home, for coaches who want the children they coach to get more from their experiences in sports and for the arts teachers whether it be music, the arts or about any aspect of learning to help their students improve upon themselves and become better for it. The authors make reference to PTA Book Clubs and Parent Book Reader Lists, yes this work should be on that list and read by every parent, teacher and coach. Prufrock Press once again had produced another fine work that should be available from each school's media center. At $16.95 a great buy today for the amount of information that is contained inside of this small but powerful work. A Five Star read!!
1 person found this helpful
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This is an amazingly insightful book that guides parents to a place where they can maximize their potential to raise wonderful children. First class book. Easy to read. Sensitivity done in a way that does not talk down to parents. Author speaks from the heart. I received this book as part of the LibraryThing Early Reviewer Program.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5As usual, a book far longer than it really needed to be. Yeah, there's research, yeah, growth mindset is good, yeah, persistence trumps unpracticed natural talent. We have to be careful about what traits we praise. Great. But in complaining about helicopter parenting, the author encourages a different type of helicoptering: one that praises effort and guts praise of actual accomplishment. Why, indeed, should the kids who got A's be honored when possibly someone else worked his ass off for a B? --well, if we think grades (particularly easy earning of them) are a predictor of the types of success we want, that's what we should do. Tried hard and failed, ultimately, doesn't bring society forward...and when it comes down to it, some kids just are NOT in fact capable of certain types of accomplishment. The girl who wants to be in the advanced math group (or whose parents want her to be) may belong there..or she may not -- and putting everyone who wants to be in a group, in it, drags down the group's level. Growth mindset should mean: find appropriate challenges for everyone and challenge them. But with this author it seems to mean: everyone should work super-hard and eventually that'll lead each to some incremental improvements. Eventually.I particularly loved the sections that involved parents lecturing grandparents on how to properly convey "growth mindset" to their grandkids (p. 21-23), and the later discussion (p. 83 onward) of how parents who have drunk the growth mindset kool-aid should try to convince teachers to give them what they want have a growth mindset. Second-favorite was the section encouraging parents to be self-conscious about how they talk to kids. The idea that something might be genetic? NEVER! Dyslexia might run in my family, but goshdarnit, if I try hard enough, I might be able to practice my way out of it. And that profoundly learning-disabled (but sweet) girl in the front row of my classroom? IEP says she's got virtually no ability to engage in abstract thinking, needs everything modified to be presented concretely? I should never tell her that she can't do calculus: she (and I) just need to try harder, practice, say "she can't do calculus YET." Parents should model this by working hard in front of their kids! I'm mocking, yes. The fundamental idea: that talent is nothing without effort, that borderline abilities can become superpowers with practice, is sound. Research supports the idea that brains (particularly young ones) have significant plasticity. And talent without practicing will get you nowhere...particularly as it doesn't set you up to work hard through setbacks. But this book puffs an "anyone can" philosophy that does a disservice to the more important (imho) value: discovering what area you can best contribute to the world, and working on that. Working hard to practice things you're bad at, may not in fact have a solid foundation of ability in, and really needn't be that important to you (except as imposed via the "growth mindset helicopter" version of parenting)? How is that helpful?
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book might look like a quick and light read, but the information within is worth it's weight in words!A very informative read about growth mindset and how to make sure your house and habits are set to maximize this mindset in our kids. I have bookmarked alot of pages for future reference when our son reach the age when those tips will be most useful. A recommended read for any parents that wish their kids keep growing(mentally) and never gets bogged down thinking a problem is insurmountable.4 stars!
Book preview
Mindsets for Parents - Mary Cay Ricci
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CHAPTER 1
WHAT ARE MINDSETS AND HOW DO THEY AFFECT OUR CHILDREN?
I want to make sure my children never stop learning!
—Gina, parent of three
Have you ever caught yourself thinking any of the following about your children?
Poor thing, she isn’t very good at math. She must have gotten that from me.
He takes after me in his sports ability.
Math and science are his strengths. He doesn’t do well in literature.
The way we think about and react to our children depends on our mindset.
What are mindsets? Thanks to the research of Dr. Carol Dweck, Stanford University professor of psychology, society is going through a shift in thinking about learning and intelligence. Dweck (2006) described a belief system that asserts that intelligence can be developed and coined the term growth mindset. Parents with a growth mindset believe that their children can achieve at higher levels—with effort, perseverance, and resiliency. Learners with a growth mindset believe that they can grow their intelligence with hard work and learn just about anything. It might take some struggle and some failure, but they understand that with effort and perseverance, they can grow and succeed. Growth mindset adults and children focus on the learning, growth, and improvement—not the grades or trophies, not on looking smart
or talented. A growth mindset home environment encapsulates the philosophy that there is enough success for everyone. Both parents and children learn about the malleability of the brain and what can happen as a result of practice, perseverance, resiliency, and grit.
Conversely, Dweck coined the term fixed mindset, which is a belief system in which one believes that intelligence is something you are born with—it is genetic, it is innate—and although everyone can learn new things, your innate level of intelligence cannot be changed. A person with a fixed mindset might believe that he or she has predetermined smarts
or talents in a particular area, but not in other areas. A child or adult with a fixed mindset might believe that he or she will never be good in a particular subject or talent or be afraid to try something that he or she thinks is too difficult or at which he or she fears failure. For people who do not perceive themselves as smart,
it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It is important to avoid classifying people into fixed mindset
or growth mindset
categories. Rarely does anyone fit 100% into a category—we are certain degrees of each, depending on the situation. We know of a teacher who has a very growth mindset when it comes to her students and her teaching. She believes that they can increase their skills and abilities in a variety of different areas and her classroom is a space where the word can’t
is rarely spoken. This teacher expects each student to put forth great effort and believes that all can achieve at a high level. She is a model growth mindset teacher; however, at home, she transitions into a fixed mindset thinker when it comes to her cooking skills. In fact, she is so sure that she can’t cook, she unplugged her oven and uses it to store her books!
Think for a minute about your own mindset. A mindset is a set of personal beliefs and is a way of thinking that influences your behavior and attitude toward yourself and others. A parent’s mindset directly influences how a child feels about himself or herself and how he or she views himself or herself. (In Chapter 2, you will find the Parent Mindset Reflection Tool to help gauge your parenting mindset.) A child’s mindset directly affects how he or she faces challenges. A child with a growth mindset perseveres even in the face of barriers. A child with a fixed mindset may give up easily and decide to check out of the learning process because he or she believes that he or she does not possess the ability to understand this particular new learning.
A fixed or growth mindset can directly affect family dynamics as well. It is not surprising to note that parents have a big impact on how children view themselves. Parents will often view their children through specific lenses: Joseph was born knowing his math facts,
Patrick has always asked good questions,
and Catherine just knows how to interpret a piece of literature.
These are all examples of a fixed mindset, even though the statements sound positive. These statements describe who these children are,
not what they have done or the effort that they have put forth. Think of some occasions when you have thought or heard yourself describe your child in a way that rationalizes perceived weaknesses: She is just like me; math was not my thing either
or I can understand why he does not do well in reading; I never liked to read
(Ricci, 2013).
SHIFTING MINDSETS
Breaking down the belief that intelligence is static can be a challenge, but with the proper groundwork and education, little by little a mindset can shift. Expecting a shift in mindset immediately is not realistic; after all, some adults have had a fixed mindset belief for most of their lives. No fault to them—fixed mindset thinking was likely embedded in many of us from a young age. Even after someone has had a self-proclaimed mindset shift, he or she will need to make a conscious effort to maintain that belief. A fixed mindset has an elasticity that continually wants to spring back. For example, a twice-exceptional child (a gifted student with learning disabilities) called to share a college schedule with his mother who also happened to be an educator. The parent had a mindset shift
several years ago and had proudly shared all she did to encourage a growth mindset environment within their home. The schedule her son told her about involved 8 a.m. classes and a course roster that included macroeconomics, international business, accounting, analysis of media, and management. His mother noted that the fixed mindset mentality buried within her wanted to scream, Are you crazy? You are setting yourself up for failure!
Instead, she responded, It sounds like a challenging schedule, and I know that with continued effort, you will be able to manage it.
Believing that all children can succeed—with effort, persistence, and motivation—is the heart of this belief.
BRAIN-BASED RESEARCH
One of the reasons for this shift in thinking about intelligence is due to the available technology and research that examines the function and make-up of the brain. Recent brain research negates the notion that intelligence is fixed
from birth. Formal and informal studies demonstrate that the brain can develop with the proper challenge and stimuli. Other current research in neuroscience emphasizes the concept of neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change, adapt, and rewire
itself throughout our entire life. Anyone who has ever witnessed someone recovering from a stroke has had a front row seat in watching neuroplasticity. In the case of a stroke, for most patients, the brain begins the rewiring process almost immediately so that patients learn to speak and become mobile again; however, it takes the hard work and effort put forth in physical, occupational, and speech therapy for stroke patients to regain much of what they’ve lost. You might compare this rewiring
of the brain after a stroke to learning to navigate a different route on a familiar map. Even though the final destination may be the same and the landmarks might be familiar, the brain needs to learn new pathways to accomplish the tasks that used to be routine. Neuroplasticity works both ways; it creates new connections and eliminates connections that are not used very often (Ricci, 2013).
Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change, adapt, and rewire
itself throughout our entire life.
We now know so much more about the neurological aspects of the brain that it cannot help but inform the way we approach how our kids learn and our own parenting. It directly affects adults’ beliefs and expectations about children’s potential and achievement. When parents and children (as well as their teachers) learn about the brain and all of its potential, they witness the impact that it has on learning and mindsets can begin to shift.
INTELLIGENCE AND MEASURING INTELLIGENCE
Is it possible to increase your IQ? The University of Michigan partnered with the University of Bern to conduct a study that looked at the possibility of increasing IQ. This 2008 study (see Palmer, 2011) required participants to continually play a computerized memory game that involved remembering visual patterns. Each time a different pattern appeared, the participants heard a letter from the alphabet in their headphones. They were asked to respond when either the visual pattern on the screen or the letters they were hearing in their headphones were repeated. The time between the repeating of patterns and letters became longer as the game became more difficult. The researchers found that as the participants had practice and got better at the game, scores on IQ-style tests increased (Palmer, 2011).
This research and other studies like it contribute to the understanding of malleable intelligence, a key factor in growth mindset and a concept many parents and educators struggle to understand. In general, adults do not have a lot of background in cognitive science. After asking several groups of parents and educators, What do cognitive abilities tests/IQ tests measure?
, without exception, there was hesitancy in responding to the question. After giving sufficient wait time, a few responses were shared: a child’s capability,
how smart kids are,
and their innate ability.
What was more surprising than their responses was the observation that so many of these parents and teachers just could not answer the question. There are many times that parents and educators are in situations where data is shared about a child and that data often includes cognitive scores from gifted and talented screening processes, special education screening processes, and/or IQ tests. Who knew so many people really have no idea what these assessments actually measure?
IQ tests and cognitive ability assessments used for gifted and talented
identification do not measure an innate, genetic intelligence. They measure developed ability. If a child has had opportunities to develop the kind of reasoning that happens to be measured on these assessments, then he or she will score in the high range. However, if a child has never had an opportunity to develop these specific reasoning processes, the outcome of one of these assessments would not be noteworthy. David Lohman (2002), professor of educational psychology at the University of Iowa, stated that abilities are developed through experiences in school and outside of school
(para. 3). When parents and educators review these intelligence
scores, assumptions may be made about the child and beliefs may kick in that place limits on the child’s potential.
THE ROLE OF POTENTIAL AND HARD WORK
Potential. It is all about possibilities and promise. However, the word potential is often used in ways that don’t always make a whole lot of sense. Think of the phrases, He is not working to his full potential
or We will help your child reach his full potential.
How does potential become full?
Is it something that can be checked off on a report card? Potential can never be full;
it is never-ending and our possibilities are infinite. As a child grows, learning and experiences become more sophisticated and challenging, growth continually occurs, and potential is never reached because it is impossible to reach. Perhaps many thought Michael Phelps reached his full
potential after his 10th Olympic medal in 2008—a feat he went on to shatter at the 2012 Olympics when he won eight more medals. Believing that intelligence, talent, skills, and yes, even athletic ability can be developed encourages these endless possibilities (Ricci, 2013).
We are all born with potential. However, we might have innate strength or capacity in one or more specific areas. These strengths can manifest themselves in many ways. Strengths can be shown physically, creatively, socially, academically, athletically, musically, and artistically—the possibilities are endless. Every child has strengths, and some children are born with a greater degree of specific strengths or talents