The Art of Schmearing: The Rise of Bitch and the Fall of Man

ETHNICITY AND HEAT

I took the day off to run some errands, I realized that was a mistake. I got no gas and there is water pouring in from the roof of my car. I stop at every stoplight, one after another with water dripping in on me in this little Strong Island 2 ant-farm of rudeness and sunshine they call South Florida. No A/C, no relief, and no money. I hit the bridge stoplight, fucking a godm hellnut fuckfire, shit ass monkey . The water pours down all over my thighs and neck the harder as I press on the brakes from the endless afternoon downpours that seep through the decaying closed sunroof. It’s fucking 100 degrees and the seats are burning my flabby thighs as the water drips down my legs. I gotta get a new car. For now I just need a cup of coffee, that’ll make everything right.

I don’t know what to say anymore, I walk into these places and they bug me from the second I get in there. The music, I think you’re crazy. I think you’re crazy..like mee. Some crap music rapes your ears and mind as a fucking bull-ringed fuck with his eyebrow pierced and his loop earrings comes over to help you with a faint smell of sandalwood or incense. I think your craaazy like meee the music is raping my ears and sodomizing my mind, I don’t fucking care anymore, fuck this place ahhh!! Just give me a coffee. Damn this shit is too full, I need a little milk, just pour the excess into the trash? Should I think about who has got to take it out? Does anyone think about the other guy or the little guy anymore? He did it, she did it, oh well fuck it, I’ll do it.

As I walked by a middle aged black man, he took a moment of his time to have a quick little laugh about me for whatever reason, probably my existence? The laptop nation, everyone is a businessman now. What they tell you about talking on the cell phone in front of everyone? Nice Bluetooth fuckface Umkay, I’m gonna listen to you talk to your friend, like oh my god I met him online and he’s like SO retro, oh my god ..blah blah blah..yeah so we are selling a lot of these chairs I got at least a million of them rolling Fuck the shut up! Fuck the shut up! An old friend told me that one once. It’s what you tell someone who never shuts his mouth or likes to talk to hear themselves think. I mean talk, not think. I guess that’s what the model is now. You know, they call them bosses, lawyers, reporters, or bitches, American, and such. Wow where are we again, Mother Bitch America the biggest bitch you’ll ever know, what’s your name, Adiel? Oh cool!!, I mean …uhh? ..Yeah

I spent the rest of my day with my thoughts raging inside, I’m so disconnected from my own country and on top of it, ethnic and gender hostility just get worse and situations get more uncomfortable. I drove up to the light and said something to myself as I fooled with my stereo and looked over and got a hostile look from some black kid who told me to, shut the fuck up. Wow it’s so nice down here in the sunshine state, sunshine and ethnic hostility, hey but you’re African American right? Slow down, let’s talk, I took a class about the struggles of African Americans, in college. Oprah right, she’ll help me? It’s my fault right Oprah? I haven’t suffered as much as your people. I just don’t understand the struggles.

I guess what I really don’t understand is that…..right ..that right to fuck over. You know that right? That right to exclude, mock, and cheat. It’s all for survival I guess. Billie T calls it being a bitch stirring, while getting emboldened by taking others down.

THE BITCH WITHIN

I saw my dad and we decided to get some coffee at the mall. So we drove to the mall following the masses of cars in the parking lot until we squeezed into a spot that wasn’t too far away. As we walked into the Diadre café, the first thing I heard out of this red haired girl’s mouth was, I hate this guy. I looked at her as I gave her the extra change with the uncomfortable feeling that shot through my nerves as you know you are being slighted and there is no reason for it except someone’s resentment. It was at that moment of handing her the change, with my shoulders clenched in the aura of resentment, when I realized that the bitch has gotten out of control. Bitch is the model, it’s the model for gender warfare, ethnic warfare, and class warfare. All of which are programs to destroy liberty, while claiming liberty and civil rights all at the same time.

In my mind I’m thinking why should I even give a fuck anymore about anything? People act like they’ve got everything figured out already. We’re all just on top of each other now. What gives people that little right to belittle with the bad first, talk around people, or just be a lower form of life. You always have to hear the worst first, is this a human thing, or just an American thing?

I drove to work thinking about that bitch at the coffee shop who said she hated either me or my dad. I still wasn’t sure which person she was talking about? I thought about her face and her red hair and her semi off white skin tone. Billie T thought, could she be one? You know Billie never really considered this before but maybe she was Jewish, maybe that was the problem? Billie had noticed more and more that a certain type of white person might be his problem. All of these thoughts running through my mind, had I drank too much coffee, shit I’m raging inside. I thought about where I worked and remembered that girl who came in after 9-11 and said, Oh just blame it on the Jews. No one was even taking things in that direction, but she did. Maybe she had seen the little Palestinian kids cheering which we were all supposed to witness? I guess we’re supposed to believe that people were out to get us, but where was this all coming from? Hmm now it’s all becoming a little clearer to me.

Maybe it’s just that Billie T doesn’t understand, Billie doesn’t get what it’s like to wake up into his ethnic and gender identity and how it all works or how important the survival of his kind was? Billie hadn’t taken on the bitch inside of him that had to take whatever steps possible to point out all those he had a problem with and stand up for the victimhood and survival of his kind.

Maybe Billie just wasn’t aware of how far identity politics had gone to just set up his ‘white male’ kind for attack and failure? Maybe Billie just hadn’t quite come into touch with his bitch within? You know, the bitch that wasn’t gonna let anyone get ahead of her or tell her what to do, or the bitch that was gonna let people know who she had a problem with. Maybe instead of all the good ways of acting that mommy taught me, I needed to start changing and becoming a bitch to make sure that I was never wronged or that anyone who I had a problem with would never get in my way?

PARADE PEOPLE

There it was, that recurring dream again. I knew I was dreaming, but I was also able to run through the motions of the dream. I was there in the golf cart, and they were all swarming and screaming blowing people’s heads off and then removing their sultan swords to sever the heads of the dead. It was as if all this action was going on around me, but all I could do was sit in the golf cart mashing the ignition with any small piece of wire or rock until I woke up. It was always the same dream just varied a little, but the premise was always the same. I was trying to do something and not being able to do anything. Oh well, time to make the donuts, or ring people up and stock the shelves.

Then at work, I was handing this dark haired hooked nosed older woman her change. I handed her the dollars and receipt and then put some change on top of the bills. Immediately out of nowhere she scolded me out of nowhere screaming, CHANGE IN HAND, CHANGE IN HAND in a nasally whiny scolding voice. I responded as most people might, unable to respond to her rudeness and attack because it was unexpected and uncalled for. So I said nothing, just looked at her in disbelief with my shoulders clenched. What the hell was this kind of woman doing in the South, some goddamn uptight bitch. She wasn’t even that old, she must have been in her early 50’s. Then as she turned to the door in a huff, her two triangle necklace did a dribbly bounce above her collar line.

I thought about it afterwards trying to settle my nerves by smoking a cigarette and shotgunning a beer. She was on parade, that’s what it’s like they are fucking ‘on parade’. These fucking cunts and people who operate on resentment and controlling others based on their own issues and feelings of entitlement is how it all works. I thought about what drove her to act this way, and in the end I couldn’t come up with anything, but, that she was just a bitch with identity. She’s on parade, she’s gonna tell you what to do or how it’s done, don’t worry. She’s not a cunt, she’s a real cunt, you won’t find her kind everywhere she’s on parade. She really told me, she’s ‘on parade’. It’s a small world bitch, and Billie T is armed and he’s got a cock too. I got a cold sore too you want that, bitch? I tried to take my mind off of her and sat on the couch switching from channel to channel, numbing my brain but putting the hatred and negative energy of the bitch deep inside.

Before you get offended this word bitch means more to me, because that is exactly what I am going to do in this entire universe until I see the truth. It isn’t a black and white issue, but I am sure as hell not going to accept what I see when no one is questioning anything unless it means more money or more of something for their group. But who the fuck cares anymore about truth, liberty, and justice? Do you, does the president?

What happened to America? Well, I realize I am in a self-righteous, seductive nightmare of bullshit on both ends and every line of everything, don’t you? You are all overfed and full of shit to the rest of the world, smug, loud, and assholish. Yeah, I’ll make up my own words you stupid self-righteous bitch of a country. You’re all on parade, you’re the parade people. Can GW tell me more about Freedom? Where is that fucking lady, CHANGE IN HAND, CHANGE IN HAND!. How is there freedom when we reinforce people who think they are the masters of others? The real problem is her insistence that my ‘judgment’ was flawed, but I think it’s all self-induced hatred. She’s a Jew looking for a problem.

FEE FI FO FUM

The dream became more vivid each time I had it, the situations and settings changed a bit but the dream was very clear. I would try to run or move but not be able to go anywhere. The golf cart was the clearest tangible item and I was still trying to get out of that beach and jungle like mess of jihad and mayhem. For years I had a dream that was similar where my car had to be driven from the back seat and it was always the same, windy roads and somehow stretching every bit of my body to maneuver the car from the back seat. Billie T is in a new spot now, I’m in the middle of a fucking jihad mission and all I got is a fucking golf cart and no