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How May I Serve
How May I Serve
How May I Serve
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How May I Serve

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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How May I Serve is a guide to empower women who are struggling to find a way out of their troubles. I have tortured and abused myself for many years trying to find love, happiness, and peace of mindyet, the more I sought these things, the more they eluded me.

Then, I realized that it was an inside job. I had to learn to love myself, forgive myself, and make peace with myself. So many women have been brought up with limiting beliefs about themselves from childhood. From the time I was conceived, I was an unwanted pregnancy.

From the deep recesses of my subconscious mind, I programmed a tape of being unloved and unlovable. I acted and attracted circumstance after circumstance to validate this belief. I played the victim role very well. I did not know how to get out of my own way. The more I avoided looking at the cause of the problems, however, the worse they got.

I hit my bottom upon finding out that my oldest daughter had a heroin addiction. This brought everything full circle. In order to save her, I had to change myself.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherBalboa Press
Release dateJun 17, 2014
ISBN9781452515243
How May I Serve
Author

Karen Mathews

The author has traveled extensively around the world to find her purpose in life. She has learned and discovered that the answers were inside her all along. If she stays present in the moment, serves others, and learns from her failures, the answers will reveal themselves. Karen is an empowerment coach, teaching people the laws of the natural world. She also practices reflexology, teaches Nia dance, gardens, and loves to take long walks. She also still travels the world. The greatest significance she can offer humanity is to serve and give her best—to shed light and give value to the world gives her great joy.

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Reviews for How May I Serve

Rating: 3.877150018764022 out of 5 stars
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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    n13s, Simply put, I loved this book. The characters were captivating. The story kept my interest until the very end, and -- unlike some readers -- I enjoyed the way Haddon masterfully created a narrative that brings readers into the mind of an autistic child.

    2 people found this helpful

  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    If run-on sentences and disconnected thoughts make you crazy in a book, you'll have to stick it out: this book is worth it. I had a hard time starting the book, and its setting is in Europe, which may explain the language (I warn people about that in case a child wants to read the book!). The story is told from the perspective of a high-functioning young man with Asperger's. It gave me a greater appreciation for people with Asperger's and those who care about them.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    An unusual book. Similar to The Rosie Project. Offers a different look at the world and and how that different look alters your experience of the world. I like the maths parts of the book. Its a short book with short chapters and worth a read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The book is "written" from the perspective of a boy with Autism. It provided a good description of what it would be like to live with a type of Autism. I really enjoyed it and would recommend it. It doesn't take too long to read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Written from the perspective of an autistic 15 year old living in Swindon, England, the main character, Christopher sets out to investigate the murder of his neighbor's dog. However, this novel is about more than just solving a neighborhood crime. Mark Haddon weaves a complex tale about family, betrayal, trust, and courage, while allowing the reader into the mind of someone with autism.

    I thoroughly enjoyed the perspective from which this book was written, portraying the nuances of an autistic teenager, including his detachment from feelings and other humans, his need for structure and order and also his courage and struggle to step outside of himself to reach a goal. Having worked to a small degree with autistic children in the past, I felt that Mark Haddon was able to capture the essence of his main character and bring him to life.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I didn't love it in the way that some others did, though that may have something to do with reading it in audiobook form, which the book doesn't lend itself to quite as well, yet it was still very compelling. The narrator is engaging, and it really kind of messes with the way your head works and lends a bit of insight as to how it feels to look at the world in a very different way than the people around you. Christopher is an unreliable narrator not because he's dishonest, as he's indeed honest to a fault, but because he really doesn't see or understand events around him the way most readers would. This makes for a very interesting and unusual, though somewhat predictable, narrative. It takes quite a bit of getting used to, but is a solid reading experience.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This novel has been included in the "1001 books you should read before you die list."Christopher Boone is a 15 year old adolescent who knows all the countries in the world, intelligent in math and physics, detests the color brown and yellow...and is autistic. While coming home from school, he discovers a neighbor's dog who has been killed with a garden fork. He decides to investigate the crime to determine the killer. After the killer is exposed, Christopher has a rift with his father, which spurs him on a quest from Swindon to London, a distance of 80 miles. This might seen an easy journey to make but it proves almost insurmountable when you don't like crowds and or being touched. The author's use of Christopher as the narrator opens for the reader the world of individuals with an autistic spectrum disorder and the challenges they encounter.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book reads a junior high school level because the character is a 15yo kid with something like asperger's. It wasn't my normal kind of book, but it was a well written and interesting humanistic story.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Neat little one-trick pony, written in quick, precociously-stilted prose. But really man, if I wanted to spend hours and hours being talked at by an autistic kid, I'd just go back to High School.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Unique and unforgettable.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" was funny, and informative, but also sad. This book is a murder mystery. The main character Chris is trying to solve the mystery of how his neighbor's dog, Wellington, died. Chris is autistic and since the book is written from his point of view, the reader can see what life is like from an autistic person's point of view. Chris is very good at math, especially prime numbers. When he is angry he adds up all the prime numbers he knows to calm himself down. He has very specific likes and dislikes about colors: "4 red cars in a row made it a good day, and 3 red cars in row made it a quite good day, and 5 red cars in row made it a super good day, and 4 yellow cars in a row made it a black day, which is a day when I don't speak to anyone and sit on my own reading books and don't eat my lunch and take no risks." During his investigation, Chris makes many troubling discoveries about his own life and about his parents. This story is really many stories in one. I think this is very clever and I liked that alot. I think the only thing that was a little disappointing was that the mystery was solved too early in the book, but other than that it was a great book.I would recommend this book to anyone who likes mysteries, puzzels, or math. I would also recommend this to people who are interested in learning more about autism. "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" is 226 pages long, which includes diagrams, drawings, and even a math problem at the end of the book!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I'm not sure how to feel about this one. In brief, it's about 15-year-old Christopher Boone's attempts to discover who killed his neighbor's dog, and he learns some surprising things about his mother along the way. Though it's never mentioned explicitly, one assumes he has a form of autism. And while I've heard this book is supposed to be a real eye-opener and help people be more understanding of autistic people, I honestly developed far more sympathy for Christopher's parents. I don't know if I could handle taking care of someone like that. My hat's off to all the parents, teachers, and other caretakers who work with special needs kids every day. You are truly amazing people.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a very moving story, told in first person by a young man struggling with Autism. It is his unique voice, as he tries to explain his behavior and thought processes through the challenges of everyday life, that make this story so powerful. The reader will gain new insight into the very complex life of a person with this condition. The premise of the story is a mystery really. A dog has been mysteriously killed and our narrator, Christopher, is the first to find him. Because of his often "strange" behavior, he is automatically suspected of the killing. Christopher makes it his personal mission to find who really killed Wellington, a poodle, with a garden fork. In spite of his father's demands that he not stick his nose in other people's business, Christopher finds his own ways to investigate the "murder." The search for the clues to who killed Wellington, also leads Christopher to find the answers to other important questions about his life. These answers provide him with a surprise he had never expected. This is a touching, interesting, eye-opening story of an young man's triumph over a condition that is debilitating and cruel and his determination to set things right in his world.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Interesting story. Our narrator has Asperger's syndrome and the author did a good job of narration from this point of view. David is extremely gifted at math and logic, but devoid of emotion. You feel great sympathy for the parents.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I found this book a little exhausting to read. The story is told from Christopher's very observant point of view. He is a 15-year-old autistic boy who enjoys math and the color red. I really enjoyed the unique point of view, but did find some parts difficult to get through. Near the end of the book, I felt like the story was dragging a little, but I was happy with the way it ended. Having worked with autistic children, I feel this book is a great way to get a glimpse into their thinking process.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    First of all, I love the way the chapters were numbered!Second, I've always been fascinated with just what goes on inside the mind of an autistic person, particularly children. This book was perfect for me in that sense. It was so touching at the same time, I'm pretty sure I shed a tear at least once.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    It's a very fast and very easy read. It is told from a unique point of view (person with learning difficulties) and, while I have no idea how "realistic" this insight is, it certainly is believable. It felt like it was an accurate description of an average working household that included a young man with Aspergers.There are a lot of "tangents" that the main character went off on, but this was part of the nature of his disability and made the story that much more realistic. The story is British and, if you were not familiar with British lifestyle (i.e. townhouses versus stand alone dwellings being the norm, A-levels being university entrance exams, huge crowds in the streets during "shopping" hours in a country that doesn't stay open 24-7...), it may lose you in places because the author doesn't attempt to clear up any "British-isms".
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Loved this book. A good story but also informative. Laura and Lachlan enjoyed it too.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A quick read from the point of view of an autistic boy. I enjoyed the book from the very beginning. I was surprised though how fast the murder mystery was solved. The events that took place after that weakened the book. I stopped caring about what was going to happen to Christopher. Luckily the ending was satisfying enough to make the book a worth while read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book was like a breath of fresh air. At times hilarious, at times quite sad, it told its story flawlessly and with fearless emotion. The characters were vivid, fresh, well developed, and immensely appealing, especially the main character, Christopher John Francis Boone. He is an autistic teenager living on the outskirts of London with his father. He believes his mother to be dead, and when he discovers that he has been betrayed and lied to, he sets out on a heartrending journey to find her.Highly recommended.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Do you know what it is like to have autism? After reading this book I have a better understanding of what life would be like if I was a teenager with autism. Christopher, a 15 year old boy with autism, has to discover who killed the neighbor dog, Wellington. On his way to finding out who killed him he finds out the truth about his mother, who died of a heart attack 2 years ago according to his father. Christopher has to figure out to survive on his own while he escapes to find the answers to his questions. At the same time he has to take his Math A Level exams, as he is a genius at math, and uses Math as a coping method when there are too many people around him. Definitely a book worth reading to get a better understanding of what is going on in the minds of autistic children.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed reading this book. I was intrigued to read this book since I had a child with autism in my classroom this year. The book starts off very fast getting to the introduction of the main character Christopher Boone and how he has a very gifted mind but is lacking in the area of social skills. I think that this book's biggest strength is how it makes the reader feel as if they are inside Christopher's head and understands his thoughts and feelings as their own. One weakness is that there is the main problem in the book ends up being very minimal compared to the other conflict that arises later in the book.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I don't get it - I've heard such wonderful things about this book, and of course, it's included in "the list". I was so disappointed. While this view of the world by Christopher, autistic?, aspherger's?, was certainly interesting and I enjoyed reading it - in the end, it just simplified the complex relationships and issues that had been established throughout the book. The happy endings to all of the angst struck me as ridiculous and false.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I enjoyed this book because it sincerely made me think of all the students I have worked with who happened to have Asperger syndrome. I am not a specialist or anything of the sort but Mark Haddon's narrator "Chris" really hit the nail on the head. From my limited view, it really did seem like I was reading a book written by a 15 year old boy with Aspergers. Every time I would turn a page it was like reading something written by one of these students I used to work with. The ability to write from this point of view is ultimately the greatest strength of the book. I knew going in that Mr. Haddon was going to have be very careful about how his character was going to react to situations involving human emotion. I even started looking for parts where he might have slipped up, but the illusion is complete, at least it was for me. One remarkable part of the book was the journey from Swindon to London. Given Chris' aversion to crowds and abundant stimulus, getting on a train by oneself and figuring out the subway system was obviously harrowing. Mr. Haddon truly had me stressing out over a simple train ride and subway navigation. Through Chris' eyes it really did seem quite intense. It caused me to sympathize greatly with the condition. I started to think about the things that I go through in my every day work life and how that would effect someone with Asperger Syndrome.I also enjoyed the abundant diagrams and pictorial samples that Mr. Haddon put in the book to help illustrate Chris' way of thinking. The math problems were dutifully intimidating and I loved all the science references. As an atheist I also appreciated Chris' logical take on religion and creationism. I also liked that he called out Sir Arthur Conan Doyle on his wacky spiritualism and ludicrous beliefs, like the Cottingley Faeries. Lastly, the book as a whole was written as if written by Chris which was a nice touch. The chapters are all prime numbers. Chris refers to the book as the book he is writing. His appendix is added in the background. He added bits to meet the advice of his counselor at school. I thought it added an enjoyable extra layer to the reading experience. Over all a great quick engaging read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Finding the dog with the garden fork sticking out of it really "hooked" me. I liked the running stream-of-consciousness story-telling style that the author used to tell this story. Christopher was scads more interesting and even a much more likable character to me than his "normal" parents. I really felt like I was inside of Christopher's head throughout the book. It was a truly fascinating (and sometimes terrifying) place to be. I did have to take off one star for the headache I got trying to figure out some of the math problems!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    The Holmesian title first caught my eye. I love Holmes. This though isn't a Holmes book. It's Mark Haddon's speculative attempt at telling a story from the point of view of a fifteen year old boy who has some form of Autism. Whether he actually succeeds is debatable but he has made a very creditable attempt at tackling the task nevertheless.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    3 1/2 stars. It was really interesting and a quick read, but somehow I just didn't love it. The main character's voice was really engaging, but it left me wanting more. I'm not usually a happy ending kind of girl, but I wanted more for him I guess. I would recommend it, but beware of strong language.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A truly unique story of a boy with autism and how he sees the world. A tale you will never forget where an autistic boy discovers family secrets, finds his mother, fights his disease, and more all because the neighbor's dog turns up dead. Not the kind of book I expected. In fact, it was better than I could have imagined. A must read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book is "written" by an autistic boy of 15 years old. Although he is attending a special school and has many Behavioural Problems (he lists a number of them), he is very good at maths, and is preparing for his A Level exam. He lives alone with his father, his mother died two years ago. The title of the book refers to a neighbour's dog that is killed with a garden fork, and Christopher, the boy, is the first to find the dead dog and is initially accused of killing it. He then decides to do some detective work to find out who did kill the dog. His father is not keen, and forbids him to talk to or bother anyone about the dog. For good reason, because when Christopher does some research anyway, he finds out more than he expected. The book is written totally in Christopher's style, meaning that the text is very literal ("I read a book until 7.46 and then I ..."). It is also quite childish and contains some maths that not everyone will appreciate (but it's easily skipped). An easy read, and it did teach me a few things about autism, although I don't think a real autist could have written this on his own.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Seems to have tried very hard to be clever and failed.

Book preview

How May I Serve - Karen Mathews

CHAPTER 1

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E very morning, right after waking up, I would ask God, How may I serve? How may I be of service to my highest good?

And every night, just before I went to sleep, again I would ask God for guidance: How may I be of service? How may I serve to my highest calling?

I just never thought God would take me literally. I asked to be of service … and now I am a server again. A waitress? Really?

Now I am serving many people, all day; however, I am not so sure that this is my highest calling. I have so much to give; so much I desire to offer. I have so much knowledge, wisdom, inspiration, and motivation that I want to bring forth. I feel like I am trapped between two worlds, one being a light worker—someone who is helping to heal the planet and is ready, willing, and able to assist in transmuting the world to a higher frequency—and the other in this dense, dark, old carbon-based world, dragging me down back into my reptilian brain.

I get up at 4:20 each morning. I feed my four cats, wash, get dressed, meditate for fifteen minutes, and then walk my cute little ten-pound, long-haired Chihuahua. I give him a treat, make my bed, and off I go at 5:30AM to work. I live on Long Island, and it takes me about twenty minutes to get to work.

I start my shift at 6:00AM and always get there a bit early. I like my habits. I like being punctual, and I like being organized. I have learned, and still believe, that being late is a sign of disrespect. My shift is from 6:00 in the morning to 3:00 in the afternoon, Thursday through Monday. My weekends are Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My work shifts are long, with most of the time being spent on my feet.

I am a morning person, so I really enjoy this time of day the most. It is quiet and magical. I can think of many other things I could do with my mornings rather than head off to the Mystic Luncheonette, but this is where I am called to be at the moment. This is where I am serving and giving what is needed of me to raise the consciousness of people’s lives as well as my own. This is my ministry for now. There are lessons to be learned here too.

I do sometimes get to spread my light-working wings, but so much of my passion is sucked from me by the energy vampires who only want their eggs cooked just right and their toast dry.

Yuck! I don’t sound very spiritual, do I?

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Being a waitress is truly a study in psychology. Anyone who wants to go into psychology needs to be a server to some degree. You really get a full spectrum of human behavior when you serve food to people. To be a good server, you need to have people skills, ask lots of questions, be quick on your feet, be able to multitask, have a good memory, balance well, and smile at all times.

Food is such an emotional issue for so many people, and at a luncheonette in a small community, you get to see a lot of the same people day in and day out. They sit at the same table, (if it is available). They order the same thing day after day, only switching it up on weekends, and they like to be served in the same way, by the same server. We are all creatures of habit.

The Mystic Luncheonette on Long Island, New York has quite the history. It has been around since 1932, so you can just imagine the array of people who have passed through these doors. I believe places hold energy. When you walk into a beautiful church or any house of worship, you can feel the calm, peaceful aura in the space it holds. The Mystic Luncheonette also is holding the energy of all the people who have come and gone before. It is very active and highly unpredictable.

Working here as a server, I sometimes feel that I am also locked into a paradigm that is in desperate need of change. I see the world, our Earth, crying out for help. I see people manifesting disease in their bodies and minds, rather than ease and peace. How can I serve better? How can I be of help? How can I use my skills and talents to wake them up from the nightmare they are in?

Before working at the luncheonette, I had a successful horticulture business for twenty-three years. I worked for the crème de la crème of clients. I have a degree in natural health. I am a certified reflexologist and life coach. I developed an aromatherapy body spray, made to balance your chakras, called Hygiea, after the goddess of health. That is where we get the word hygiene, and where all health began. I am a biodynamic gardener and an amazing dancer. I studied with the best teachers in the world in personal development and spent tens of thousands of dollars on my education. I have traveled the world and experienced more than most people do in a lifetime.

So being a waitress really threw me for a loop. I don’t believe in accidents, so I know I am here for a reason and that there is purpose lurking here somewhere. The key is to discover this reason.

I want to scream from the rooftops that it is time to think differently, to live differently. But sadly, no one hears me; no one is interested.

Oh, yes, there are a few lonely souls like me out there with whom I can converse, but most people just want their pancakes, french toast, eggs, and burgers. They want comfort, routine, and habits. They don’t want change, and they certainly don’t want to shake their lives up; unless, of course, it comes in chocolate.

I love people, and I love to help and teach the laws of nature and of the universe. I am fascinated by metaphysical phenomena, healing, energy, consciousness, nature, the mind, and the capacity we have to explore the infinite possibilities that we can tap into when we make the quantum shifts within ourselves, those minute changes that will alter our lives in a big way.

Is that how I am here being a server again? Is that why I wound up at the Mystic Luncheonette, waitressing at fifty-six years young?

Let’s see. Let’s go back in time … way, way back, before I was even a twinkle in my parents’ eyes, to discover how I ended up here, shall we?

CHAPTER 2

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B oth of my parents were from Germany. My father was born in Berlin in 1926 to extremely wealthy Jewish parents. My mother was born in Munich in 1929 to a lower-income but educated family. Her mom was Catholic and her father was Jewish. They never married because of this. There was already unrest in Germany at this time, and marriage was not advisable. So Mom was an illegitimate child, which was also frowned upon. Neither of my parents had siblings, so I have no aunts, uncles, or cousins. My dad’s life was full of nannies, servants, expensive clothing, Rolls-Royce automobiles, and all the other finer things in life. From the stories I am told, his dad was the jovial one. I was told my grandfather spent more time with my dad than my grandmother did, and from the pictures that I still have, you can see that this was the case.

I never saw pictures of my grandmother with my father; only my grandfather and the nannies are posed with him. I never did get to meet my grandfather, so I have to recount all of this only from the stories that were told to me. He was a womanizer and loved playing the horses. This did not sit well with his wife, my grandmother. She was very proper and snooty. They had friends in all the right places (including some high Nazi officials) and connections to get what they needed and wanted. My grandmother, whom I did know, was a real bitch, I’m sorry to say. She was very cold. (I know that doesn’t sound too spiritual, but hey, who says being spiritual and having a potty-mouth can’t go hand-in-hand?) From the tales I was told, she was off skiing, gallivanting at parties, and doing what she wanted while my dad was left with the nannies and servants. Again, I have pictures that back up this scenario, so it must be at least somewhat close to the truth. It was their lifestyle, for a while at least.

Then the shit hit the fan. The war broke out. Chaos, unrest, hiding, bombs, and uncertainty all came to play in my parents’ lives. My dad had to see his father off on the trains, heading toward a concentration camp. I’m sure my dad wasn’t told his father was going there, but it was a cattle car, so it must have been awful. I can’t even fathom what my dad or my grandfather was experiencing and feeling.

I was told that my grandfather could have been spared. He might have been able to leave Germany, since they had connections with high officials; however, my grandmother did not want this to happen because of his flirtatious nature. She could have saved his life; instead she let him die. Horrible, simply horrible.

My dad was able to get out. He was sent to London, England, the only country accepting German-Jewish children. When he arrived, there were families ready to adopt children into their homes. They only wanted the very young children, though, since they felt that they would be easier to handle. My dad, being a bit older—around sixteen—was not taken in by any family, so he wound up living in several orphanages and working in factories. When I think of what he had to go through, my heart bleeds for him. What a sad story. My grandmother eventually paid her way out to London. Everything was taken from them by the Nazis. Their home, belongings, bank accounts—anything of value. To this day, all that I have from my grandmother is a diamond ring and some pictures that she was able to smuggle out. My grandfather, well, we found no record of him ever arriving at any concentration camp. So we had to assume he must have died on the train and they just threw him out. The whole story is just awful.

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My mother lived in an apartment building in the center of Munich with her mom, and her grandparents, who lived nearby. She, being half Jewish, was considered just as bad as being fully Jewish. My mom always felt alone and unloved. My grandmother had her at a young age, and she never had the patience to care for her in a nurturing way. Besides, with everything that was going on in Germany at this time, my grandmother felt it difficult to express her feelings in a healthy way. It was a tough time for everyone, and my grandmother had a lot of suppressed anger, guilt, and shame—both about having a child out of wedlock and having conceived a child from a man who was Jewish. My grandfather was a Sephardic Jew, born in Amsterdam, Holland. He was a chemist and a gifted horticulturist. (I sometimes wonder if somehow his spirit surrounds me, since I have the same gift.) He loved people and loved to engage in conversation about philosophy, nature, and life. He did not live with my mom and grandmother, and I’m not sure how he got to Munich or how he met my grandmother. I do know that my mom had major abandonment issues due to the fact that she was an illegitimate child and half Jewish. Many things were kept hidden from her to protect her from the Nazis, which she didn’t understand. This caused her to develop phobias and insecurities that have remained with her to this day. As a child she was often in hiding from the third Reich since her birth certificate showed that she was half Jewish. This was tremendously stressful for her and my grandmother, who was trying to protect her from being taken away.

She was sent to school, but never wanted to go out of fear that something would happen to her mom and grandparents. Nothing and nowhere was safe. At home, there was always the chance of an unexpected interrogation by the Nazis. There were air raids and bomb attacks daily. Once, while at school, the air raids sounded off and all the children were told to go into the shelters at the school. My mom recounts that instead of hiding, she ran home, bombs going off all around her. She didn’t care; she just wanted to get home to her family. The next day, she told me that she saw the devastation all around, and that her school was gone. Her intuition must have been very powerful to have told her to run home instead of stay there. She would have been killed.

After the bombing at her school, my mom was sent to another school. My grandmother had studied dressmaking and so she pushed my mom to do the same. She has an amazing talent for it—she is very artistic. I still have some pieces of clothing in excellent condition that are so detailed that any designer would be envious of the workmanship that went into them. At this time, my grandfather was sent to a place in the country where he could hide and have protection from the Nazis. Unfortunately, he died of malnutrition and loneliness. They couldn’t get food to him and no one came to visit because it was too dangerous. I wish I’d been able to meet my grandfathers.

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My maternal grandmother had one sister and three brothers. I was fortunate to have gotten to know my great aunt, Tante Annie (in German, Tante means aunt) and Onkel Oscar (in German, Onkel means uncle). Oscar was an engineer. I never did get to meet the two other brothers. Onkel Irving was studying to become a doctor and in order to complete his thesis, he had to go to the front lines in battle; it was there that he was killed by shrapnel. When my great grandmother received the news of his death, it killed her. She had a heart attack that she never recovered from.

Before her death, she was a brave woman during the war. I was told that she took many people into her house that were in hiding and couldn’t find work. They had a carpenter, a strip teaser, and many others, such as Gypsies and Jews who would have been sent off to concentration camps if it weren’t for my great grandmother. It really is amazing how one’s true character is revealed during times of crisis and stress. Looking back, I admire her strength, courage, and open heart, and I often feel her presence around me. I’m not too sure what happened to the other brother, Onkel Hans. He had a few children, I was told, but I never knew or had any contact with them. Between my father’s story of tragedy, and my mother’s story of despair, it really is a miracle they were able to find each other.

CHAPTER 3

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T he war went on and on until one day it was over. The bloodshed stopped, the bombs were muted, the concentration camps were liberated, and the damage was done—which continues from generation to generation until we learn to live in peace with one another.

Now my parents were young adults. They should have been exploring their freedom and having fun. While things were better for them after the war; however, they both had deep psychological scars that would have lasting effects. My father, at this time, was working as a civilian for the American forces and was transferred to Hamburg, Germany. It was there that he met Francis Koch, a businessman who owned a few small women’s retail shops in Munich. They became very close friends and he asked my father if he would like to go to Munich with him. He did, and that is where he met my mother. Ah, so romantic. An after-war love story. They were both, by chance, invited to go out to dinner one evening. Sometimes you have to wonder about these chance meetings. I don’t believe in chance or luck;

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