Conversational Chemistry

by Rachel Davis of Conversation-King

2010 TCM-AW Enterprises SeductionEBooks.com & SmallTalkForSeduction.com

Conversational Chemistry

Creative Commons Copyright 2010 You are free to reproduce, print, or distribute copies of this e-book to the general public provided that you do not alter the file content, format or any of the embedded links. Copyright 2010, TCM & Alex Wayne (AW) Enterprises. Visit our web site at seductionebooks.com and smalltalkforseduction.com 2011 SeductionEBooks.com Page 2

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Limit of Liability / Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages. For general information on our other products and services SeductionEBooks.com. 2011 SeductionEBooks.com visit us online at

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Keep in Touch...

We routinely post new material to various social media web sites and our own blog, so click on through (on the above images) to any of them, bookmark or subscribe the feeds to always stay in touch. Of course, we also welcome your comments and questions too, so be sure to interact with us through any of the above media sites or our own blog.

Table of Contents
Keep in Touch......................................................................................................................4 Acknowledgements.............................................................................................................5 Introduction.........................................................................................................................6 How to Make Easy Conversation for Attraction....................................................................7 Using The Add-On Principle to Get the Girl.......................................................................9 The Power of Yes................................................................................................................11 In Closing..........................................................................................................................13 Other References...............................................................................................................14

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Acknowledgements
Special thanks to my hardworking assistant Emily Johnston (on twitter: emjbooks) Whose dedication to this business and her strong desire to help others is unmatched by anyone.

"emj" - click for twitter!

Of course, a very special thanks also goes out to my associates and friends within the dating coach, and seduction community.

2011 SeductionEBooks.com

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Introduction...
Talking has always been my biggest problem. I knew how to eye chicks up. I just didnt know what to say after the first few words. Everything would go quiet and I would get more and more nervous and quieter and quieter, either that or I'd click into interview mode and just bombard the girls with questions. Boring questions too. Everything is great now. I just followed Rachel's advice and women seem to want to stick around now. I don't just pick up women in the bars, I get them in the mall, on my street, anywhere.

2011 SeductionEBooks.com

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How to Make Easy Conversation for Attraction

There are two main ways in which we communicate with others: non-verbal communication and vocal/verbal communication. You probably already know a little about the non-verbal side of things, such as the types of body language that silently signal someones nervous, excited or angry. But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals? Thats the subject were going to look at today. Except were going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you. Lets first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a woman theyre attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex? The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder rather than help his chances of hooking up with her. Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she wont say much back. This outcome, standing there suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it. The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be. Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that youre nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

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Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP. This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl theyre talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness. Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH. Its not easy talking to a girl whos beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, whos hot and confident, he doesnt want to mess it up after all, it might not happen again for ages! So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up. He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjectsand generally doesnt push the boat out much. Okay, so theyre 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So lets flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing. Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING. Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You dont want to throw too many her way too quickly. If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and dont provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to. Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses. Do you come her often? is a terrible question. What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun? is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple Yes or No, it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good. Objective #2: Dont be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl. Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Dont make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy the kind of man women love isnt afraid of little pauses, because theyre natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow. Objective #3: Its okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl. But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went tomake it positive and interesting and you engage the girls emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

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Using The Add-On Principle to Get the Girl

Persuasion is a universally recognizable component of our society. You see people influencing others everywhere you go: women trying to talk themselves out of speeding tickets, salesmen attempting to convince a potential buyer that a products for them, defence attorneys arguing that their client is innocent persuasion is everywhere, used by all of us, all the time. Somewhere its especially noticeable (and vital, if you want to be successful) is in the game of attraction and seduction. For a man to pick-up a girl that is: find, approach, talk to her and arrange to take it further he MUST understand and be able to use persuasive psychology. And its that fact many men are surprised by when they hear it that being successful with women isnt a God given talent or a roll of the dice; its a skill like anything else. Today youre going to learn a little about that skill. Were going to look at a special persuasive psychological technique that, when used, massively increases your chances with the ladies. Its called The Add-On Principle. Picture the scene: Youve got talking to a girl and been chatting for a little while. You can tell shes enjoying the conversation and think that shes quite attracted to you, too. You decide youd like to make something happen with this girl and see her again real soon but you arent sure of the best way to go about making that a reality. You dont want to ruin the positive dynamic that youve worked so hard to create and you definitely dont want to scare her off or get rejected. So, what can you do? Well, first of all, what do most guys do when theyre in this situation? Ill tell you, they take one of three routes: Route #1: CLICHD NUMBER REQUEST. The first route has been taken so many millions of times in the past that its nowadays almost an act of parody its asking the girl for her number. Taking this route is, 9 times out of 10, a Plan B at best. When you ask a girl for her number you not only give her control of the situation (which means she can very easily say no or slip you a phoney number), you also highlight that moment of the conversation as what it really is: an attempt at picking her up. When she realizes this, shes turned off. No girl likes the idea of being picked-up because it seems sleazy and dangerous. For a girl to allow herself to be picked up, it must feel natural and unforced. 2011 SeductionEBooks.com Page 9

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Route #2: GOING FOR IT. This routes most often taken at night, in bars, clubs and parties namely because the availability of alcohol makes this option seem a good idea. Going for it means a guy will try to kiss the girl or cop a feel a little while after talking to her. Perhaps hell do it while they dance or as the venue is closing and theyre leaving. Again, its a bad idea because it makes the girl feel used and not in control. Route #3: BOTTLING IT. This option, quite simply, involves choking at the last second being unable to go through with a closer. The conversations gone great but the guy just doesnt feel confident enough to propose meeting up again or something along those lines. As you can imagine, taking this route is a bad idea in regards to being successful with women. So what do you do? The three routes above are bad, so what route can you take? Well, it goes without saying that you HAVE to run the risk of using a closer if you want to see the girl again. Therefore, your goal is to make your offer in whatever form it might take seem like a natural, obvious, fun option for the girl to take. To achieve this, you should justify what youre suggesting with a REASON you should both do it. For example: Lets swap numbers so we can talk about that book we both like. Or, We should get a coffee or hot chocolate some time, because I know a great little place thats just opened and think youd really like it. When you follow up an offer (such as swapping numbers or going for a coffee) with a reason for doing it (to talk about something or because you know a nice little new place) you make the offer seem ATTRACTIVE and a NATURAL thing for the girl to say yes to. This is the essence of The Add-On Principle. When you employ it, try to always use the words So and Because. Our minds, when we hear these words, associate them with good reasons, they back things up for us in our heads. You can use this principle any time you want a suggestion youve made to a girl to be accepted and agreed to. For example: Shall we go over and look at the jukebox, so we can put on some tunes we both like? Youre taking away any hard work the girl needs to do in deciding whether or not she wants to go ahead with what youre suggesting, simply because youve already given her a valid, natural-sounding reason to say YES! Try ityoull be amazed at the results.

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The Power of Yes

Everyone, male or female, feels an important need to be consistent in the things they say, do and feel. If were flaky and liable to change at the drop of a hat what we believe or have promised, we know that people are likely to judge and mistrust us. This commonly felt sense of importance regarding the need to be consistent within ourselves can be exploited when attempting to seduce a woman. One seduction technique that makes use of this concept is called The Power of Yes. Heres a common scenario most men have experienced at some point or another in their lives. You find yourself talking to a girl, maybe you approached her and consciously started a conversion, or perhaps the chat began unplanned, naturally. Either way, youre enjoying each others company. After a while, it dawns on you that you and the girl youre talking to are going to have to go your separate ways pretty soon, which poses a slight dilemma: how can you make it so this isnt the first and last time you two are together and instead arrange for it to progress into something further? The obvious route to take is to perform a closer. A closer is when you make a conscious effort to get a girls number, swap both your numbers, arrange to meet up again soon, or otherwise cross that social getting to know you line. Thing is, you dont want your closer to crash and burn, you want the girl to happily agree to whatever it is you suggest. So how can help ensure that happens? You use psychology, specifically, The Power of Yes technique. The technique involves getting the girl youre interacting with to give several positive yes responses to your questions in quick succession. Doing so helps develop an internal sense of positivity in the female that carries over in her mind to when you perform the actual closer and tips the balance in the direction of agreement to your request or suggestion. You can do this by using subtle and casual responses after she says things, like: Really? and Do you? Match your response to what shes just said and ensure it takes the form of a question that youre sure will prompt a yes response from her. Getting between 3 and 6 of these positive responses is usually enough to allow the principle to work. 2011 SeductionEBooks.com Page 11

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At the same time, avoid asking questions or saying things near the end of your conversation, just before youre about to close, that could possibly evoke negative reactions or no responses from the female. The reason this technique works so well is because of the natural human phenomenon mentioned at the start of this article that people feel its important to be consistent and congruent in the things they say and the situation theyre in. After responding to you positively half a dozen times, a natural inclination is created in the females mind for saying yes shes gotten used to it. When you finally suggest going for a bite to eat tomorrow or visiting that museum together you told her about, the most natural and consistent response in her mind is a responding Yes!it just feels right.

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In Closing...
The best thing to do is learn more about Conversation King and Rachel Davis and then, to be blunt and to the point stop reading all this crap!

You need real world, real life practice. You can read and study this material from now until you're dead and still not have all the answers. Without actual read world practice you'll never get it and will constantly be struggling to find the perfect answer to land you the perfect woman. The answer to find the perfect woman is to practice getting all the other ones first only then will you get that one particular perfect woman. (Assuming 'perfect' even exists). Don't get me wrong, studying and reading is all fine but budget your time read some, practice lots. You'll get some good lines and pointers that can help you out especially when you're just starting out, or have reached a plateau in your current learning curve. Just don't let studying consume you and dampen the successes you are striving for in your social life! Alex

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Other References...
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