Problems of Teenagers

Teenagers. The young people

Between the ages 13 and 20.
Every teenager has problems.
There is no doubt about it .As
Their parents say: “problems
Plays an important part in a
Teenager’s life, as they see if
You can handle it well.”

Bulling can happen to anyone; anywhere

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 What happens if they can’t defeat
Their problem ? What happens if the?
Problem is about drugs? Or may be
They’re really depressed. I mean lots
Of teenagers smoke and drink.
There all problems that parents
Don’t want to hear about at all .who
Would want to? Let’s see …..
Some problems are:
∙ Drugs
∙ Alcohol
∙ Depression
∙ Abuse
∙ Peer pressure
∙ Smoking
∙ Puberty
And these are just the most common
Ones!

Some times bullies group upon Relationship can be problem to the

victims people that care

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How does the problem affect teenagers more then other people?

Teenagers are more emotional than their elders and younger ones. Life is
that way. Everywhere, teenagers are in floods from being dumped, having
nervous breakdown from stressing for exams, being ignored by getting
bullied , being sent hate mails, falling in love ……. The list can go on
forever and still not cover every problem

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Teen issues
“Mom leaves me alone I’ve got issues.”

Sound familiar? Wouldn’t you love to know what those “issues” are?
The teenage years are perhaps the most difficult to navigate through. Teens deal
with temptation raging hormones broken heart, school performance anxiety,
decisions about their feature, self esteem etc
It’s not an easy time; of course, most teenagers think that their parents are
clueless. They don’t see to realize that their parent were once teenagers
themselves! And of course, though out the ages, teenagers have always had issues.
However today’s teen seen to be facing more choices then ever before. Here is list
of just some of the issues that our teens have to deal of on a daily basis:
∑ Grades
∑ Jobs
∑ Drugs and drinking
∑ Sexuality
∑ Pregnancy
∑ STDs
∑ fitting in
∑ Gang
∑ College choice
∑ Body image
Peer preserve and teen role models can also cause conflict. In addition, with the
high rate of divorce, more teen then ever have to deal with their parents’ own
dating issues. Adjusting to step-brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers is another
situation that parents have to be sensitive to. The most important things is to try to
determine if you child’s issues are normal part of the teen years or if they are
worthy for professional intervention.
Consider taking your teenagers counselor if you seen any of the following
symptoms;
∑moderate to severe depression
∑cuts or burn on difficult parts of your teen’s body
∑excessive weigh lose or gain
∑Laxative use
∑dropping out of activities
∑stumping grades

These are just some of the things that you should be watching for. If none of these
sign ere present, then you can probably just rest easy that you been has issues and
tomorrow will be a better day!

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 The parent-teen relationship:
How parents can make the most of it?
“enjoy them now, they’ll soon be teenagers!” warning like this from friends and relatives, together with
media images of adolescents as irresponsible, rebellious troublemakers, can lead makers to expect trouble
as their children enter puberty . It is a rare parent who does not approach a child’s adolescence without
some misgiving. But family life does not have to be a battle ground during the teen age years. Parents and
teens can live together, more or less harmoniously , if parents know what to expect and are wiling to make
some adjustment in the way they think and act.
The purpose of three fact sheets is to help parents cope more effectively during their children‘s adolescent
.although this information is intended mainly for parents of teenagers, it is general enough to be useful to
parents of younger children as well. The first fact sheet discussed the way teenagers develop and what
parents can do to help them through this time in their life. This second fact sheet focuses on strategies
parents can use to deal with typical teenage behavior.
Family relationship
Teens are out of balance as the same time as their parents are struggling with their own mid-life pressure.
While teens are dismayed by each new pimple, parents may be agonizing over new wrinkle. While teens
are thinking in terms of time remaining in terms of the time ahead and the opportunities it will bring,
parents are beginning to think in terms of time remaining and the opportunities that are diminishing while
teens are gradually acquiring more personal power, parents are often beginning to confront their own
limitations. Giving up power over their children may be difficult. Good parents aim at working themselves
out of their job, but the difficult part is knowing how and when to let go.

Parents are not the only ones struggling with mixed feeling. As teenagers try to establish their identity, they
have to adjust to the loss of childhood security and accept increasing responsibility.

As our children work toward independence and self control, our attitude to their struggle is crucial to their
success. Parents and teenagers both do much better if parents can keep a sense of perspective.

When parents and teens are getting along, family life can be wonderful. Teens really are enjoyable and
energizing. Their wit and high sprit make fun to be around. But when parents and teens are at odds, the
teenage propensity for sullen silence and rejection can confuse and frustrate their parents.

Life with teenagers is an emotional rollercoaster; certainly an adult marriage so many ups and downs would
be considered unstable. Luckily, for parents and adolescents this “on –again, off-again” relationship is
normal and nothing to worry about in the long run.

Make the most of the good time with your teens. Thinks about your children’s likeable qualities even when
they are temporarily exhibiting their unlike able once. It is important for parents to see the un stability in
the relation for what it is necessary part of the teens development in separating from his or her parents.

The ‘Dos’ and Don’ts of Parents-Teen Communication

∙ don’t argue with the way your teen sees things. Instead state your own case and speak from that. “I have a
different option” this is what I believe,” and “this is the way see it.”

∙ don’t talk down to your teenager. There’s nothing more irritating than a condescending tone.

∙Don’t lecture or preach. Again, this only proves less hostility. Besides, the average teenager goes “deal”
after hearing about five sentences

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∙ don’t set limits you can’t enforce.

∙ Do focus on the behavior, not the person..

∙ do think ahead to what you will say and how you will say it.

∙ do keep your messages clear and concise.

∙ do stick to one issue at a time.

Rules and discipline

It’s normal for adolescents to try to test the rules. Because adolescents are dependent on their parents for a
long time, the can build up a great deal of resentment. This resentment can be expressed by defying
parental restrictions.\

Some rules are non negotiable like “don’t drink and drive “but keep these to a minimum. parent who makes
a major confrontation out of every minor issue risk losing all their influence with their teenager .in
demanding quiet submission ,they may unwittingly create a simmering foe whenever possible states rules
as guidelines rather than ultimatums .otherwise family life will become a series of power struggles

Parents need to help their children make the transition from parental discipline to self discipline .for this to
happen, teen need to learn how to negotiate and how to cooperate in setting rules and solving problems
today, as their horizon expand, teens are more often out of our sight, they need to learn how to think for
themselves so they can make the choices when parents are not around

You can help your teens practice negotiating and redirect and redirect energy that might to wasted in power
struggles

Successful teen parent negotiate depends three thing

1. involving your teen in the process when you make rules ,set limits or reach
decision

2. keeping as clam and rational as possible even when emotion run high .it is
especially important to control your energy

3. using the following specific problem solving method ,which help keep negotiation
focused on this issue

Problem solving has several steps: identifying the issue for negotiation brainstorming solution, evaluating
and narrowing down the alternatives until you get a solution that you both can live with, making an
agreement and evaluating the outcome

In matter of discipline, it is helpful to see inappropriate or unacceptable behaviors as a mistake in judgment

or choice that caries consequences for your teen if your teen behaves badly make your feeling known
immediately .expressing sadness or disappointment about your teen unacceptable behaviors is more
constructive than expressing anger .the former leaves the problem where it belong with your while the latter
shifts the focus to you

The next step would be to negotiate with the teens the appropriate consequences for the misbehaviors so
that the teen can make amends and be motivated to do better in future
By asserting themselves, parents project by word and action the message “I love you too much to stand by
and see you do something hurtful .when you show me by your behaviors that you can handle thing better I
will back off

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While resolving the immediate issue at hand is important, it’s even more crucial for parent to take a long
range view .their job is to help teens develop the ability to make good decision for themselves.

Young people not only lack experience, but also often they have little foresight. Parents should teach their
teens to think like chess players: before they make a move, they should try to anticipate the consequences.
“What will happen to me if I make the next decision or choice?”

At the same time, parents should be asking themselves “What can I do in this situation to help my teen be
more responsible?”
If you are a parent of teen, do these statements sound familiar? He won’t do anything around the house.
She’s always in her room. He is always on the phone. She can spend an hour on her hair; why can’t she
spend five minutes to empty the dishwater? I can’t stand the way teens dress. I’m worried that they may try
drugs or become sexually active.
Despite the fact that most parent-teen relationships are warm and caring, issues of independence and
increasing conflict emerge during the teen years. These two connected issues may cause you concern as
you try to figure out how to handle them.
In recent years, psychologists have revised their idea of healthy parent-teen relationships. They have found
that most teens have warm, close relationships with their parents. They care about their parents’ opinion of
them and hold their parents’ opinion in high regards. Many who do not have good rapport with their parents
have had difficulties with them for years. If your relationship with your child has always been strained,
there are ways to relate more positively.

Parents of children in their early teens can expect an increase in the numbers of arguments with their
children. At this time your teen is trying to establish him or herself as an independent person in the
household. Once you and your family being to acknowledge this change the number of arguments between
parent and teen usually declines

Parent fear loss of control over the adolescent and fear for the adolescent safety because of his her
increased independence .parents are irritated and annoyed with the adolescent behaviour.adolscent face
stress when pushing for more freedom than parents are willing to grant .when they fail to adhere to parental
advice they may engage in deviant behavior .understanding teens development stages and their traits as
teens can help parents support their teen in developing into independent responsible adults

DEVELOPMENT STAGES OF TEENS

PHYSICAL CHANGES. Adolescent experience rapid rates of growth and maturation of the reproductive
organs and gland .together these physical changes accomplish the biological task of transforming a child
into an adult. Rapid change combined with wide variation among individuals tends to make adolescents
extremely sensitive to their appearance. At no other time in life are feelings about the self (self-esteem) so
closely tied to feelings about the body (body image).
These physical changes also affect their social relations and emotions. That is why a pimple or being ahead
or behind a classmate in physical growth can be so stressful to the teens’ emotions.

MENTAL CHANGES. Teens develop their abstract thinking capacities. Before age 11 or 12 children
think in terms of concrete objects groups of objects. By age 16 most adolescents have gone from the simple
way of thing to complex forms of reasoning. They learn to approach a problem systematically. Moral issues
become more complex because they understand that two sound rules or principles might conflict. For
example: They will understand that in certain situations the values of friendship and honestly conflict. They
will struggle with a question about whether someone should report a friend for breaking a rule.

Teens also come to realize that what exists is only one of many possibilities. This is important in facing
many choices as they move into adulthood and choose career directions, educational paths and mates. Thus,
teens need time alone to think about the many possibilities.

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Social changes: because of there physical and mental growth, adolescents are no longer treated like
children. The expectation adults and peers have of them change and their behavior changes. Thus the social
world in which they live changes in important ways.
One of the most obvious social changes is the begging of serious interest in and interaction with teens of
the opposite sex. The have to learn handle the emotions and behavior that go along with these relationship.
They also experience a change in how adult treat them and talk to them. It is often in a more adult manner.
They are also seeking more independence. They are given more privileges that were reserved for adults like
driving and working. However, they may feel they should have even more privileges and these may
become areas of conflict for parents and teens. Parents may feel frustrated with the perception that teens
want more freedom but not the responsibility that comes with it.
These changes lead to typical traits of teenagers. Some of these are:
Concern with being popular. The teen is trying to find out how worthwhile he or ache
is in the eyes of peers. Having friends means that he has been accepted .teens spend more time with peers
because they have similar tastes in music, dress, activates, dreams and goals.

CHALLENGING THE WAY THINGS ARE. Teens will challenge the rules and reasons of
parents, teachers, and the world. This part of their intellectual growth and trying out new ideas and
possibilities.

EXPRESS CONCERN ABOUT HOW THEY LOOK. They feel that everyone is looking at
them. They are concerned with their physical and hormonal changes. Are they fitting in with their
classmates? They now can imagine what other people may be thinking so teens feel as if they are living in a
display store window and everyone is watching them.

HAVING FRIENDS YOU MAY NOT APPROVE OF. They are exploring new relationships
and ideas these friend may have.

INFLUENCED BY PEERS. Teens will look to their peers for norms in dress, drugs, alcohol, and
sexual behaviors. However, research shows that teens are strongly influenced by their parents in moral
issues.

BELONGING IS VERY IMPORTANT. Having friends during early adolescent years is valuable
as children are trying to develop acceptable social skills. They are relating to other teens in different ways
than when they were younger.

NEED PRIVACY. Teens need time to think as their intellectual capacities increase and they are faced
with new ideas and challenges. The changes they are undergoing physically often lead then to a need for
privacy

MOODINESS: with the rapid changes going on in physical social and intellectual growth they may be
concerned with how they are doing .their hormonal changes are a great factor

With all this going on is it any wonder that they forget to take out the trash it may be important to us but it
is certainly low on their priority list

During adolescence teens experience rapid physical social emotional and intellectual development problem
may arise because parents do not changes their parenting style. Treating a teen as a young child not taking
into account his her intellectual growth and ability to think through a situation in a way that was not
previously possible can belittle the teen and cause conflict. he or she is also seeking more independence
instead of mandating rules including the teen in discussion of some rules can help them in learning to work
through problem and arrive at solution that may improve compromise .remembering all the changes teens
are going through and following these steps can improve the parent teen relationship

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 ISSUES THAT CONCERNS TEENAGERS
So, a problematic teen, never think the problem is unsolvable (sometimes it does appear
so) but relax and continue reading. We have two types of teenage problems. The problem
they have no control over. This can be caused by people close to them like divorce by
their parents? An act of God?

So, a problem of a teen, never think the problem is a soluble (sometimes it does appear
so) but relax and continue reading. We have two types of teenage problems. The problem
they have no control over. This can be caused by people close to them like divorce by
there parents? An act of God. In this category we have, lose of dears ones, natural
disasters, an illness like cancer, etc. the second one ism, the problem that happen as a
consequence of what they (teenagers) do. In this category we have things like dealings in
drugs or taking the drugs, pregnancy out of wedlock, involving them selves in criminals
activities, etc. we are going to list the teen problems and explain some of them., eating
disorders, drug addition, teen parent relation, problem student, teenage depression, way
ahead problem, dumped relation ship, friendship problem teen parent problems teenage
marriage and early pregnancy eating disorders anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are
psychiatric eating disorders that are common among teenagers , spatially teenage girls.
Other forms eating are: overeating and poor eating habits. Symptoms of eating disorders
low self esteem are common symptoms among teenagers suffering from anorexia and
bulimia. Spending to much time in a toilet and running water in order hide the fact that
there vomiting (in case of bulimia) should after be observed. Teenagers suffering from
bulimia experience dramatic fluctuations in weight. on the other hand the anorexia patient
attempt to loss weight even if they are backs or bones the child and adolescent
psychiatrist is trained evaluate , diagnose and treat these psychiatric disorder which are
characterize by a preoccupation with food. With proper treatment, teenagers can be
relived of the symptoms or helped to control these disorder. Parents who notice
symptoms of anorexia or bulimia in the teenagers should ask their family physician or
pediatrician for a referral to a child and adolescent psychiatrist who works
comprehensively in the treatment of these disorders. Teen drug use all teens take drugs.
To put it more correctly, every body takes drugs. But for our purposes, we are today
concern about the use of illegal drugs or illegal use of legal drugs. Drug abuse is a
common problem not only in adolescent but also in teenagers. It is the use of drugs gore
non medical purposes that can destroy physical and mental well being of a person. This is
widely affecting the society specially those who are in their teenage years. Drugs can
cause addiction on psychological, mental or both aspects. Teens should be aware of the
effects of it in their lives. Drug addiction among teenagers is caused by different factor.
Some of teenagers take drugs because of peer pressure. a typical teens is easily influence
by his friend to take drugs not knowing its consequences. For example’s, a teen having a
vast group of friends has a large tendency to be influence to be influence to try illegal
drugs. Probably his best friend would say” come on, try this! Just once!” and from his
first try, he will become depend on it every time. A teenager should learn to choose his

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friends and company. Thus, they should learn how to say “NO” to them. For more
information teen drug use, go to National Institute on drug Abuse Teen Suicide Suicides

among your people nationwide have increased dramatically in the last couple of decades.
Every year in the U.S., thousands of teenagers commit suicide. Suicide is the third
leading cause of death for 15 to 24 years old. Teenagers experience strong feelings of
stress, confusion, self doubt, pressure to succeed, and other fears in the process of
growing. Depression and suicidal feelings are curable mantel problem. The adolescent
needs to have illness recognized and diagnose so treatment plans can be developed when
parents are in doubt whether there children in doubt has a serious problems. Felsitic
examination can be very help full. Many of the symptoms of suicidal feelings are similes
to that dispersion. Parents should be aware who made write too kill them selves.
Psychiatrists recommend that if one or more of these sign occurs, parent need to talk
there child about there concern and seek professional help when the concerns persist. *
Violent actions, rebellious behavior or running away. * Drugs and alcohol use. * Charge
in eating and slipping habits. * UN usual neglect of personal appearance. * marked
personality change* withdrawal from friends, and family and activities. * Persistent
boredom, difficulty concentrating, for a Decline in the quality * of schoolwork.* frequent
complains about physical symptoms, of a related to emotions, * such as stomachaches,
headaches, fatigue, etc * law of interest in pleasure able activities * asking your teens
whether he or she is depressed * or thinking about suicide can be helpful. Such a question
will provide the teenagers an assurance that some body cares and * will give the young
person the chance to talk about problems. * With supports from family and professional
treatment, children and teenagers * who are suicidal can heal and return to a more healthy
path of development.

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 COMMON DISCIPLINE PROBLEMS OF
Teenagers and How to Solve Them
It is no fun struggling with a teens. Every thing parents say and do is important during
this time. Some times what they don’t say and do is just ass important as what they do
say and do so how can parent be sure they are giving they best guidance to there teens
this important time ? Thanks to you they can count on the wisdom of experts! With This
Parent Guide, you can provide parent with specific strategies for dealing with a variety of
common discipline problems of teens and consequences (punishments) that really work.

Teens traditionally push the limits with their parents. But, problems of teen disciplines
seems worse today then ever before most parents need help with teens who are some
times disrespectful and talkback; who won’t do chores or homework : who use
inappropriate language, who are rude and defiant; who challenge family rules who lie and
more. They also help in guiding their child about sex, drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. This
parent’s guide provides parents with guideline for setting limits and real life accounts of
what works for parents of well behave kids it also provides resources for finding help if
their teen is out of control. With this parent guide, you can help parent maintain their
authority at a time when their child is becoming more independent. A must for all parent
of teen

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 PROBLEMS OF TEENAGERS
The teenage years are fraught with all kinds of problems – from low self-
esteem and peer pressure, to low motivation and chronic untidiness. With a
bit of foresight, you can help your teen with all of these.

Self-esteem
Part of being an adolescent is the excruciating concern over appearance.
Changing body shape, no wonder teenagers spend so much time looking in
the mirror! If a young person is less than delighted with the changes they see
– and very few are completely happy – it can knock their self-esteem.

Parents should try to avoid making jokes about a teenager’s appearance –

even if it’s meant in a light-hearted way; it can be taken to heart. It’s also a
mistake to make light of something that worries a teenager, even through it
may seem silly to you. He may be convinced that plastic surgery is the only
solution for his nose, even through it looks absolutely fine to everyone else.

Try to explain that other people rarely notice the kind of detail we notice in
ourselves. If your teenager has bad acne, your GP can prescribe medication
to help clear it up.

The better teenagers feel generally about themselves – and the higher their
self-esteem – the more able they are to cope with these temporary problems.

Helping around the house

Ideally your child should have become used to helping with some household
chores in middle childhood, so there’s less likelihood of a battle in
adolescence.

Even so, the nature of being a teenager means they’re likely to try to get out
of doing things – and certainly won’t respond well to orders. The more you
can negotiate the type of chores your teen might not mind doing, the better.
He may be happy to do some weeding in the garden, for example, but hate
the idea of washing dishes.

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It also works better if your teenager can, at least to some extent, do things in
his own way and time. This might seem annoying, but all you do is order
him to do things now and in a particular way, you can bet next time he’ll
make sure he’s out of the way and doesn’t do it at all.

Always thank your child for his effort. And if he does something that’s well
beyond regular chores – decorating, perhaps – you might want to pay him.

Untidiness
Among the most common arguments between parents and teenagers are
those regarding untidiness? Parents are driven mad by the school blazer
dropped on the hall floor, the wet towel dropping next to the bath or the
mould growing in the week-old coffee cup.

But before flying off the handle, it’s worth remembering your own teens.
Chances are, tidiness wasn’t your number-one priority in life either.
Teenagers don’t really do it to annoy parents; their thoughtlessness is simple
a reflection of the fact that their thoughts are elsewhere most of the time.

Different parent deal with his aspect of teenage behavior in different ways.
Some don’t mind clearing up after their teens, seeing it as an extension of
the childcare they’ve been happily doing all along. Others are determined to
make the young person toe the line and take more responsibility for them.
Whatever the rights or wrongs of each stance, there’s no doubt that the first
kind of parent will have less arguments and less hassle!

If you’re determined to teach your teenagers to be tidy, the best way may be
to let them experience the natural consequences. They’ll quickly realize that
their things can’t be found in a muddle, or that clothes don’t walk to the
washing machine on their own. Unfortunately, they may not thank you
sweetly for the lesson and vow to change their ways; in fact, they are more
likely to fly into a rage and blame you.

There’s another important issue when it comes to the teenager’s own room,
which is as much to do with boundaries as with cleanliness. The wisest
course of action with the least chance of upset is to accept that your child’s
room is his own private space – and he has the right to keep it as he likes. As
ling as the door is closed, don’t fret over it. If the example set in the rest of
the house is be clean and tidy, and then he’ll probably decide to clean up his
own room every now and then, too.

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Key Points

• Explain that all teenagers worry about how they look and that few – if
any – are completely satisfies. You could talk about how worried you were
as a teen about your spots and how they’re obviously not a problem at all
now.
• Continue to give compliments about your teenager’s appearance. It’s
temping to say “You look a complete state in that!” – But hold back.
Remember your grandmother’s advice: “If you haven’t got anything nice to
say, keep quiet!”
• Guard against labeling teenagers. Phrases such as “You never do as I ask”
or “You’re always getting on my nerves” can make young people feel it’s
not worth trying.
• Part of being adolescent means wanting to challenge the ideas of parents.
Many teenagers seem ready to pick arguments and get into rows over things
they know parents have strong views about. Because of their relative
immaturity they may be completely irrational. It’s important that you don’t
always fall into the trap of using this opportunity to put your teenager down
by showing your superior knowledge or debating skills. Smart parents refuse
to rise to the bait.
• Do all you can to keep communication open. Respect your child’s ideas
and show that feelings can be expressed without them leading to arguments.
• Never show your teenager up in front of his friends with remarks such as:
“I told you to tidy that room” or “Surely you’re not wearing that”

• Introduce your teenager to a variety of pursuits, such as trips to the theatre,

art galleries, football matches and dance classes, so he sees there’s a wide
choice of activities and interests in life.
• Make it clear you’re interested in hearing about his school, friends or
hobbies. If you don’t do this, you can’t complain when he doesn’t tell you
anything.

Being rude to parents

Teenagers often get away with outrageous and antisocial behavior because
it’s believed to be hormonal and a natural part of adolescence. But what can
you do when you find yourself wondering where your once cheerful, sweet-
natured child has gone?

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Hormonally charged?
There’s evidence to suggest that temper tantrums, other emotional outbursts,
and grunts and groans aren’t a natural part of adolescence, but are actually
an accentuation of a young person’s personality.

If your child had temper tantrums before puberty, they’re likely to get worse
during adolescence. If he didn’t, they won’t necessarily develop now.

Where’s it all coming from?

“If your child is being rude, you need to know why”
If your child is being rude, you need to know why before deciding what to
do about it.

It could be that he’s trying to shock you, Or it could be his way of asserting
himself as separate from you (a sign of independence).

It could be that he can’t control himself and may have a flood of confusing
emotions. When he’s with his friends, swearing and being rude and ‘lippy’
may be part of the way they relate to one another; he may have just forgotten
to change his behavior once home. Or, it could be that your teen is following
your example.

A hasty response from you, especially if his rudeness is out of character, can
compound the problem. Don’t take it so seriously, and try to find out what
the behavior is a symptom of. It could be that he’s upset with you over a
misunderstanding whose origins lie elsewhere.

Dealing with rudeness

• Don’t ignore the behavior – if being rude is something that’s always been a
part of your child’s personality and has got worse as he’s grown up, you
need to deal with it.
• Talk with your child – try to get to root of his behavior.
• Find someone your child trusts – if he won’t open up to you in regard to
his behavior, then look elsewhere. He may be more willing to talk to a
family friend, an older sibling, or an aunt or uncle.

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If all else fails, you may feel you need to seek professional help. Remember,
through, if you choose this option you may well have to look at your own
behavior, too.

Appreciating your teen

Teens often get a bad press, and it’s chiefly misdemeanors and wild behavior
that are the focus of parents’ attention. But by focusing on the bad, you
could be missing out on all the good…

They’re not that bad

Much of the behavior associated with adolescence – wanting more freedom,
challenging authority and taking risks – actually starts much earlier in some
young people. In other it starts later, even in their 20s. And for a few – and
their fortunate parents – it never happens at all.

Such typical ‘teenage’ behavior, such as trying alcohol or drugs, having

relationships and staying out late, are only parts of the picture. Research
shows that many of the negative stereotypes attached to adolescence, such as
delinquency and violence, are also quite incorrect. A few teenagers may
behave in this way, but the vast majority doesn’t.

Going through changes

As your teen matures towards adult life, he may have to tackle some of the
following:

• Dealing with sexual feelings and his newly maturing body. He’s caught
between childhood and adulthood.
• Learning new life skills – problem-solving, decision-making, negotiation
and conflict resolution, as well as learning to apply a more abstract level of
thought.
• Working out a system of values and morals based on, but probably
different from, your own.
• Dealing with friendships and boy/girl relationship in a mature way.
• Working out his adult identity, including a likely period of adopting
different identities to see if they fit.
• Forming a new adult relationship with you that will be the basis of your
future together.

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All the way through the teen years, you’ll have to guide your child towards
adult life, gradually handing over responsibilities and independence when he
shows he can manage them in a mature way.

Your teen will need clear rules and boundaries about what’s considered
acceptable, even when he rebels against them.

What’s good about teenagers?

Once your child becomes a teenager, you’ll find you have an interesting
companion to chat to and share ideas with. You may even discover a new
zest for life from the enthusiasm and energy of your teenager – all that
optimism can be infectious!

Wise parents learn to respect their children as the adults they’ll soon
become, while still understanding that they may sometimes want to behave
in a ‘Younger’ way

This can be puzzling but, just as in the toddler years; your teen is torn
between going all-out for independence and swinging back to the familiar
security of an earlier age. During stressful times, it can be all too easy to
forget that inside your argumentative teenager is your tender child.

Adolescence identity
Throughout his teens, your child is developing his identity. You may find he
suffers a lack of confidence and worries about his looks, body and the
strange feeling and thoughts he’s experiencing. This is why teenagers often
retreat to their rooms or spend hours in the bathroom.

Remember – he’s sorting things out for himself, not rejecting you. For him,
growing up involves demonstrating how different he is from the adults
around him. He needs to find ways of expressing this difference; he may
disagree with everything you say.

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REFRENCE’S

Adolescents, Stephen F.Hamilton, dept of human development and family

studies. Cornell University Cornell cooperative extension

Gateway-parenting into the teen year issue 4, Illinois cooperative extension

service

Changing parenting style program, James van horn, PhD. clef professor of
rural sociology, Penn state university.

Behavior management cards, Ohio state university Extension.

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