1 vi truyn ngn song ng

The best time for apples It was the first lesson after the summer holidays at a small school. The lesson was about the seasons of the year, the teacher said: They are Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. In Spring, it is warn and everything begins to grow. In Summer it is hot and there are many flowers in the fields and gardens. In Autumn there are many vegetables and much fruit. Everybody likes to eat fruit. In Winter it is cold and it often rains. Sometimes there is snow on the ground. Here the teacher stopped and looked at one of the pupils. Stop talking, Tom, he said. When is the best time for apples? It is when the farmer is not at home and there is no dog in the garden. Answered Tom. Ma tt nht cho to ang trong gi hc u tin sau k ngh h ti mt ngi trng nh. Bi hc ni v cc ma trong nm. C gio ging: - Mi nm c bn ma, l: ma xun, ma h, ma thu v ma ng. Ma xun tri m p v mun loi ny n sinh si. Ma h tri nng nc, c rt nhiu rau v qu, ai cng thch n hoa qu. Ma ng tri lnh v thng c ma, i khi cn c tuyt ri trn mt t. Ging n y, c gio nhn mt hc sinh nhc nh ri hi: - Tom, khng ni chuyn na. Vo ma no to tt nht h? - Ma to tt nht l.l khi ng ch vn khng c nh v cng khng c ch ngai vn . THE CARJACKING An elderly woman did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags, drew her handgun, and proceeded to scream at them at the top of her voice, I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags! The four men didnt wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad. The woman, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags in the back of the car and get into the drivers seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, to no avail/ And then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces father down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant, to whom she told the story, nearly tore himself in two the other end of the counter, where four pale males were reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed.

MT V CP XE HI Mt b c i mua sm xong, quay tr li ni xe t ca mnh. C thy bn g n ng ang nh b i bng chic xe ca c. C nh ri ti hng, rt khu song ngn ra, ti gn v gng ht sc ht ln: -Ti c mt khu sng trong tay v ti bit cch dng n! Hy ra khi chic xe, cn b! Bn g n ng khng i li mi ti ln th hai m vi v ra khi xe v chy nh in. B c run ry, ti t ti hng pha sau xe v vo ch li. V qu lp cp, b c khng th cm c cha kha vo kha. B th i, th li nhng vn chng ch g. V ri b cng hiu ra nguyn do. Vi pht sau, b thy xe ca mnh sau khang bn n nm ch xe. B cht ti ca mnh ln xe v li ti n cng an gn nht. V trung s, ngi m nghe b thut li cu chuyn, gn nh ci v bng v a tay ch v pha cui dy bn tip tn, ni bn ngi n ng mt xanh mt ang trnh bo v v cp xe do mt b lo in c t li nh sau: trng, thp hn nm feet, eo knh, tc bc, xon v cm mt khu sng lc ln. Khng thy c v tn cng no nh th c lu trong h s. The magician & the parrot A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. He has a different audience each week, so he allowed himself to perform the same act over and over again. There was only one problem: The captains parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of every show. Look, thats not the same hat! Now hes hiding the flowers under the table! Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades? The magician was furious but couldnt do anything about it. After all, it was the captains parrot. One day the unthinkable happened: The ship had an accident and sank! The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the ocean with the parrot of course! They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a single word. This went on for days. After a week the parrot finally broke the silence and said, Ok, I give up, Whered you hide the boat? o thut gia v con vt Mt o thut gia lm vic trn mt con tu ch cc hnh khch i du ngon trong vng bin Caribbean. Mi tun anh ta li c mt lt khn gi khc, bi vy anh ta t cho php mnh c din i din li mt tr. Ch c mt vn duy nht l: con vt ca vin thuyn trng xem cc tr din hng tun v bt u hiu cch m nh o thut din tr. Mi khi n hiu ra, n li bt u go ln khi mn din cha kt thc: -Hy nhn xem, khng phi l chic m lc ny! -Lc ny anh ta ang giu nhng bng hoa di bn !
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-Ny, ti sao tt c cc qun bi u c hnh con t pch vy? Anh ta rt bc mnh nhng khng th lm g con vt. V suy cho cng, n l con vt ca thuyn trng. Mt hm, chuyn cha tng c ngh ti xy ra: Con tu gp nn v chm! o thut gia thy mnh ang lnh nh gia i dng trn mt vn g, v tt nhin l con vt cng c ! H ging mt nhn nhau mt cch cm ght, nhng khng ni vi nhau mt li no. iu din ra trong nhiu ngy, Sau mt tun con vt ph v s im lng v ni: - Thi c, ti thua ri y. Anh giu con tu u vy? Like a gentleman? Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunts house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes. The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, Now heres a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman, Like a gentleman? Dick asked. How do gentleman do it? They always give the bigger piece to the other person, answered his aunt at once. Oh, said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he tool the cake to his sister and said to her,Cut this cake in half. Catherine. Nh mt ngi lch s? Dick ln by tui v em gi Catherine ca n ln nm. Mt hm, m ca chng a chng ti chi nh d trong khi b i ra thnh ph ln mua t qun o mi. L tr chi c mt gi ng h cho n lc bn ri th ngi d dt Dick vo trong bp. Ch a cho n mt ci bnh ngt rt p v mt con dao ri bo: Ny, dao y Dick. Hy ct chic bnh ny lm hai ri a mt phn cho em chu. Nhng nh l phi lm vic ny nh mt ngi lch s y nh. Nh mt ngi lch s ? Vy nh ngi lch s th phi lm th no c? H lun a ming to hn cho ngi kia,d n tr li ngay lp tc. , th ? Dick phn ng. Cu ta suy ngh v chuyn ny trong vng vi giy. Ri cu ta mang chic bnh a cho em ri ni: Hy ct chic bnh ny lm hai i, Catherine. The office rules Bill Jenkins worked in a big office in the city, and generally he used to go to the barbers during working hours to have his hair cut, although this was against the rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time.
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While Bill was at the barbers one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut. Bill saw him and tried to hide his face, but the manager came and sat beside him, so he soon recognized him. Hullo, Jenkins, the manager said. I see that you are having your hair cut in office time, Yes, sir, I am, admitted Bill calmly. You see, sir, it grows in office time. Not all of it, said the manager of the office at once. Some of it grows in your own time. Yes, sir, thats quite true answered Bill politely, but Im not having it all cut off. Ni quy c quan Bill Jenkins lm vic ti mt c quan ln trong thnh ph, v thng th anh chng hay i ht tc trong gi lm vic. Mc d iu ny tri vi ni quy c quan: cc nhn vin phi ct tc trong thi gian ring ca mnh. Mt hm, trong khi Bill ang trong tim ht tc th ng gim c c quan cng v tnh vo ct tc. Bill trng thy ng ta v c giu mt i, nhng ng ta ti ngi cnh v nhanh chng nhn ra anh chng. , cho Jenkins. Ti thy l anh ang ht tc trong gi lm vic y nh!, ng gim c ni. Vng, tha ng. Nhng nh ng bit y, tc cng mc di trong gi lm vic . Bill bnh tnh th nhn. Nhng cng khng phi tt c. Cng c nhng phn tc ch mc trong lc rnh ri m thi. ng gim c ni ngay. D tha ng iu rt ng nhng m ti cng u c ht ht tc i u . Bill lch s p li. Gifts for mother Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first son said: "I built a big house for our mother The second son said: "I sent Mom a Mercedes with a driver". The third son said: "You remember how our mother enjoys reading the Bible. Now she cant see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. The Elders at the church spent twelve years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and the verse and the parrot recites it". Soon thereafter, their mother sent out her letters of thanks. William, she wrote, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house". Arnold, she said, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. That driver is so rude, he is a pain! "But David, she said, "the chicken was delicious

Cc mn qu tng m Ba ngi con trai ri gia nh ra i lp nghip v u thnh t. H bn vi nhau v nhng mn qu m h c th dnh tng cho ngi m gi ca mnh. Ngi con trng ni: "Anh s xy cho m chng ta mt ngi nh ln". Ngi con th hai ni: "Cn em s gi cho m mt chic Mercedes v mt ti x". Ngi con th ba ni: "Cc anh c cn nh l m chng ta thch c Kinh thnh nh th no khng. M by gi mt m khng c tt lm. Bi vy em s gi cho m mt con vt c bit, n c th c thuc lng ton b Thnh kinh. Nhng ngi cao tui nh th mt mi hai nm dy n. M ch cn nu tn chng mc l con vt s c cho m nghe". Sau khng lu, ngi m gi cho h nhng bc th cm n nh sau: "William, b vit, ta nh con xy qu rng. M ch mi mt phng, nhng phi lau dn c ngi nh". "Arnold, m qu gi i du lch. M gn nh nh sut ngy nn rt him khi m dng chic Mercedes. G ti x rt th l, hn l mt ni kh tm ca m! Nhng David, con g th rt ngon". I went out in my slippers Len and Jim worked for the same company. One day, Len lent Jim 20 dollars, but then Jim left his job and went to work in another town without paying Len back his 20 dollars. Len did not see Jim for a year, and then he heard from another friend that Jim was in town and staying at the central hotel, so he went to see him there late in the evening. He found out the number of Jims room from the clerk at the desk downstairs and went up to find him. When he got to the room, he saw Jims shoes outside the door, waiting to be cleaned. Well, he must be in, he thought, and knocked at the door. There was no answer. He knocked again. Then he said, I know youre in, Jim. Your shoes are out here. I went out in my slippers, answered a voice from inside the room. Ti mang dp i ra ngoi ri. Len v Jim cng lm vic cho mt cng ty. Mt hm Len cho Jim vay 20 la, nhng sau Jim b vic v i lm mt th trn khc m khng tr 20 la cho Len. Len khng gp Jim trong mt nm tri, v anh nghe mt ngi bn ni l Jim ang c mt trong th trn v ti khch sn trung tm, do anh ti gp Jim vo chiu ti hm . Anh tm c s phng ca Jim l nh ngi tip tn di lu v ln lu tm Jim. Khi ti phng, anh thy i giy ca Jim ngoi ca ang ch c nh bng. Chc hn anh ta phi c trong phng. Len ngh thm v g ca. Khng c ting tr li. Anh li g ca ln na ri ni: Ti bit cu trong phng, Jim . i giy ca cu ngai ny m.
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Ti mang dp i ra ngai ri. Cu tr li t trong phng vng ra. What a woman!!! Three blonde guys are stranded on one side of a wide river and dont know how to get across. The first blonde guy prays to God to make him smart enough to think of a way to cross the river. God turns hom into a brown-haired man, and he swam across. The second blonde guy prays to God to make him even smarter, so he can think of a better way to cross the river. God turns him into a red-haired man, so he builded a boat and rows across. Th mi l ph n Ba g n ng tc vng b mc cn ti b ca mt con sng rng v khng bit lm th no c th i qua. G tc vng th nht cu Cha xin cho hn thng minh ngh c cch qua sng. Cha tri bin anh ta thnh ngi n ng tc nu, v anh ta bi qua. G tc vng th hai cu cha xin cho hn thng minh hn c th ngh ra mt cch tt hn qua sng. Cha tri bin anh ta thnh mt ngi n ng tc , bi vy anh ta ng mt con thuyn v cho. Nothing but the truth- S tht vn l s tht David Casstevents of the Dallas Morning News tells a story about Frank Szymanski, a Notre Dame center in the 1940s, who had been called as a witness in a civil suit at South Bend. Are you on the Notre Dame football team this year? the judge asked. Yes,Your Honor. What position? Center, Your Honor. How good a center? Szymanski squirmed in his seat, but said firmly: Sir, Im the best center Notre Dame has ever had. Coach Frank Leahy, who was in the courtroom, was surprise. Szymanski always had been modest and unassuming. So when the proceedings were over, he took Szymsnski aside and asked why he had made such a statement. Szymanski blushed. I hated to do it, Coach, he said.But, after all, I was under oath. -David Casstevent S tht vn l s tht Nh bo David Casstevents ca t Tin bui sng Dallas k li cu chuyn v Frank Szymanski, mt trung phong ca i Notre Dame vo nhng nm 1940, ngi c gi n ta n vi t cch l nhn chng ca mt v n dn s xy ra ti South Bend. Anh c phi l thnh vin ca i bng Notre Dame nm nay khng? V quan ta hi.
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Vng ,tha qi ta. Anh chi v tr no? Tha qi ta, v tr trung phong. Anh chi nh th no? Szymanski t ra hi lng tng, nhng ri anh tr li mt cch mnh m: Tha ta, ti l trung phong gii nht ca Notre Dame t trc n gi. Hun luyn vin Frank Leahy cng c mt trong phin ta hm y ly lm ngc nhin v Szymanski lun l ngi rt khim tn v khng bao gi t cao mnh. V th, khi phin ta kt thc, Frank n bn cnh Szymanski v hi ti sao anh li tuyn b mt cu nh vy. Szymanski bi ri tr li: Ti khng thch phi tuyn b nh th, tha Hun luyn vin. Nhng xt cho cng, ti tuyn th l ch ni tht. -David Casstevents

The cookie thief - Tn trm bnh quy

The English sentences are in the pictures, so i only post the Vietnamese translation. 1 .Mt ph n tr tui ang ng xp hng ch i n chuyn bay ca c ta trong nhiu gi ng ng.

[b]2. C ta quyt nh i mua mt cun sch c git thi gian. C ta cng mua 1 bch bnh quy n na

3.C ta ngi fng Vip room trong sn bay ngh ngi v c sch th gin

4. Bn cnh ci gh l ch bch bnh wi, v c 1 ngi n ng ngi k bn c ta, anh ta ang ngi c tp ch.

5. Khi c kia ly 1 ci bnh n, th ngi anh kia cng ly n 1 ci. C ta cm thy tht bc mnh nhng ko ni ra. Ngh trong u : "ng l k cc ! Nu ta m ang bc th c l m cho 1 ci y ri y nh"
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6. V khi c ta n ci tp theo, th ci anh n cng n 1 ci. C ny bc lm ri nhng ko mun gy chuyn

7. n lc ch cn 1 ci bnh cui cng, c ta ngh : "ah ... ci anh ny s lm g y, ng ni ginh n vi mnh nhe ?" Sau , anh ta, cm ci bnh cui cng ln, b lm i v a cho c y.

8. , qu ng lm ri nh, c gi bc mnh ht chu ni. Nn ng dy, ng sch ci rm, gin d b i.

9. Lt sau, khi yn v trn my bay, c ta tm kim trong bp ly knh mt eo, v tht ngc nhin, ci ti bnh ca c y vn cn nguyn trong ti, cha m ra, cha n lun. 10. n lc ny c gi cm thy rt xu h v nhn ra rng : C ta sai ... Th ra ny gi ton ngi n bnh ca ngi ta ko :shy: 11. Ngi n ng chia s bnh cho c y, m ko cm thy tc gin g !!! 12. ... trong khi c ta, li gin d, v ko h c suy ngh s chia s ci bnh vi anh ta. Nhng mi chuyn cng ri, ko cn c hi gii thch v xin li ngi ta na, haizzz

[b]Cu chuyn ny mun ni ln vi ngha, 4 iu ko bao gi tr li c:

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Hn nm ri th kh kim li c

Li ni ra cng kh thu li

C hi mt, kh c c hi tt khc

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And the last thing, thi gian tri wa th kh m tr ngc li.

A matter of punctuation An English professior wrote the words, Woman withour her man is nothing on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: Woman, without her man, is nothing. The women wrote: Woman! Without her, man is nothing. S dc dc ca cch chm cu Mt gio s ting Anh vit nhng t n b khng c ngi n ng ca mnh th khng l g c ln bng v hng dn sinh vin ca mnh chm cu mt cch chnh xc. Cc sinh vin nam vit: n b, nu khng c n ng, khng l g c. Cc sinh vin n vit: n b! Nu khng c n ng khng l g c. Poor people
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One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Pass this on to friends and acquaintances and help them refresh their perspective and appreciation. "Life is too short and friends are too few." Ngi ngho Mt ngy kia, mt ngi b cng gia nh giu c ca ng ta dn a con trai mnh i du lch n mt t nc vi mc ch l cho con trai mnh thy, ni ngi ta sng ngho kh ra sao. H mt ngy mt m trong nng tri ca mt gia nh rt ngho kh. Khi kt thc chuyn i, ngi b hi con mnh: "Con thy chuyn i nh th no?" "Rt tt, tha b!" Ngc nhin trc cu tr li ca a con, ngi b hi li: "Con c nhn thy nhng ngi sng ngho kh n th no khng?" "Vng, c!" "Vy con hc c nhng g?" Cu con trai tr li: "Con nhn thy chng ta nui mt con ch, h c bn con. Chng ta c mt ci h rng n gia khu vn, h c mt dng sui nh khng c ni kt thc. Chng ta c
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nhng bng n thp sng khu vn, h c nhng v sao. Sn trong nh chng ta ko di ra tn n sn trc, h c c mt chn tri. Khi cu con trai dt li, ngi cha nn lng - khng ni c g. Cu b ni tip: "Cm n b cho con thy chng ta ngho kh n th no!" C phi s tht l tt c mi th ph thuc vo cch bn nhn thy chng? Nu bn c tnh yu, bn b, gia nh, sc kho, s hi hc v mt thi lc quan hng v cuc sng, bn c tt c mi th! Whenever a Man Lies One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily. One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her. You willthirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me. But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so that's why I said yes this time." The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is for an honorable and useful reason !!

Whenever a Man Lies 2 Khi n ng ni di Ngy n, mt ngi tiu phu lo n mt nhnh cy ln cha ra dng sng. Chng may ng nh
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ri cy ba xung ln nc su thm. ng khc v tic n Bt hin ra, hi l do. Nghe xong, t nhin Bt lao xung sng, ri ni ln vi mt cy ba bng Vng trong tay: - Phi ci ny ca ngi? - Tha Bt khng phi. Thm mt ln ln hp na, Bt li ni ln vi cy ba bng Bc, vn khng phi. Ln th ba, Bt ni vi cy ba bng st, ngi tiu phu hn h: " mi l cy ba ca con". Xc ng vi s chn tht ca ngi n ng, Bt cho ng c hai cy ba Vng, Bc. Vi ngy sau, ngi tiu phu cng b v i do ven sng. Khng may b v lt tm xung sng. Bt li hin ra cu gip ngi n ng khc st tic v. Bt ni ln vi nng Jennifer Lopez: - Phi y l v ngi? - D ng ri! - Ny ngi ch x gt ta. - Tha Bt cho con xin li. Nu con tr li khng phi, Bt li em ln nng Catherine Zeta Jones, nu con li ni khng phi, Bt s em ln v con v con nhn, Bt s cho con c Zones v Lopez. V th, con phi gt Bt ngay t ln u, ch khng con ch cn c nc ph ht cnh rng ny mi nui c c ba v. Bi hc: n ng thng ni di v nhng l do ht sc chn thc, hon ton c th hiu c! A Sense of Geese When you see geese flying along in V formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way . As each bird flaps its wings , it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own. People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another. When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone- and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front. If we has as much sense as a goose, we will stay in formation with those people who are headed the same way we are. When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point. It is sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs, whether with people or with geese flying south. Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed. What messages do we give when we honk behind ? Finally- and this is important - when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies; and only then do they launch
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out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group. If we have the sense of a geese, we will stand by each other like that. Bi hc t n ngng Khi nhn n ngng lun to thnh hnh ch V mi khi bay cng nhau, bn c th s thc mc rng khoa hc khm ph ra iu g gii thch ti sao chng li bay vi i hnh nh vy. Khi mt con ngng vy cnh, n s to ra mt lc nng cao con ngng bay pha sau n. Khi bay theo i hnh ch V nh th, c n s c tip thm t nht 71% sc mnh hn l khi tng con bay ring l. Nhng ai bit cng nhau chia s mc tiu chung v c tinh thn on kt th s n ch nhanh chng v d dng hn v h ang i cng hng vi nhng ngi xung quanh. Khi mt con ngng bay lch i hnh, n s phi mt mnh chng chi vi sc cn ca gi, v n s nhanh chng tr v ng v tr nhn lc nng t con pha trc. Nu chng ra hiu c ngha ny, chng ta s lun gi vng i hnh vi nhng ai i cng hng vi chng ta. Khi con ngng dn u ui sc, n s quay tr li pha sau i hnh nhng ch cho con khc dn u. Cng nh loi ngng, con ngi cn phi lun phin nhau thc hin nhng cng vic i hi s n lc cao. Nhng con pha sau s pht ra ting ku nhm khuyn khch nhng con pha trc gi vng tc . Khi bn li v pha sau, bn s gi nhng thng ip g cho ngi khc? iu cui cng nhng v cng quan trng l khi mt con ngng b m hoc b bn trng thng, khng theo kp n, hai con khc s lp tc tch khi i hnh du n xung t gip v bo v n. Chng s li vi con ngng b thng cho ti khi no n c th bay c. V nu con ngng cht, hai con ngng kia s bay mt mnh hoc gia nhp vi n ngng khc, bt kp n ca mnh. Mistake? A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if she could see her license. She replied in a huff. I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you. Li g? Mt s quan cnh st dng mt c gi tc vng v vt qu tc cho php v hi c mt cch rt lch s rng liu anh c th xem bng li ca c. C nng tr li mt cch ht sc gin d: Ti mong rng cc anh c th kt hp lm vic cng nhau. Mi ngy hm qua cc anh thu bng li ca ti v hm nay anh hy vng ti trnh n cho anh. Secret A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life.
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My wife makes all the small decisions, he explained. and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each others business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complains and no arguments. That sounds reasonable, answered his friend sympathetically, And what sort of decisions does your wife make? Well answered the man. she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for your holidays, and things like that. His friend was surprised. Oh! he said And what do you consider important decisions then? Well answered the man, I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that. B Quyt Mt ngi n ng tit l vi bn b mt cuc sng v chng thai mi ca mnh. -V ti quyt inh nhng vic nh, cn ti quyt nh nhng vic ln, nn chng ti chng bao gi lm phin ti cng vic ca nhau v cng khng bao gi thy bc mnh v nhau c. Chng ti khng h phn nn hay ci nhau bao gi. ng ta tm s. -Nghe c v c y! ngi bn tn thng. Th v anh quyt nh nhng vic g no? - th b y quyt nh xem ti phi xin lm vic g, chng ti sng u, s mua nhng c g, i ngh u, v i loi l nhng vic nh th, ngi n ng tr li. -Vy ? Th th anh cho nhng vic g l quan trng? ngi bn ngc nhin hi. -Th ti quyt nh nhng vic nh ai s l th tng, liu chng ta c nn tng cng gip nhng nc ngho hay khng, chng ta phi lm g vi vn bom ht nhn, v nhng vic i loi nh th, ngi n ng tr li. Little Johnny Boy A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying. Everyone who thinks youre stupid, stand up!. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stoop up. The teacher said, Do you think youre stupid, Little Johnny? No, maam but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself B Johnny Mt gio vin mi vo ngh ang th p dng mn tm l ca mnh. C bt u bi ging bng cch ni: Em no ngh rng mnh ngu ngc th hy ng ln! Mt vi pht sau, b Johnny ng dy. Em ngh rng em ngu ngc h, Johnny, c gio hi. Khng, tha c, nhng em khng thch phi nhn thy c ng mi mt mnh. The arm was guilty A man was brought before the judge. The witness said that the day before the prisoner had stolen some pears from a basket, outside a grocers. The solicitor said to the judge: It is true that the prisoner took a few pears with his right arm; his right arm is guilty, but not he himself; you can not punish the whole body because one of its limbs is guilty.
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You are quite right, answered the judge, so I sentence the prisoners right arm to six days. Now the prisoner will go to prison with his arm if he likes. Everybody at court began to laugh; but people laughed still more when they saw the prisoner unscrew his right arm (it was a wooden arm) He then gave it to the judge, saying: Here is my guilty arm, Sir I dont wish to go to prison with it. Cnh tay c ti Mt ngi n ng b a ra hu ta. Nhn chng ni rng, hm trc b co ly trm qu l trong mt ci r bn ngoi tim thc phm. Lut s ni vi quan ta: ng l tn ny c ly l bng tay phi; tay phi ca hn phm ti, cn hn th khng c ti; ngi khng th trng pht c c th ca hn ch v mt chn hay mt tay ca hn phm ti. Ngi ni hon ton ng, vy th ti kt n cnh tay phi ca b co su ngy giam gi. By gi th tn t ny s khng phi vo t vi cnh tay phi nu hn thch vy, quan ta phn. Mi ngi c mt trong phin ta bt u ci m ; nhng h cn ci to hn khi thy t tho c ni cnh tay phi ca hn ra (cnh tay lm bng g). Sau hn a n cho quan ta v ni: -y l cnh tay phi ca ti, tha ngi, ti khng mun vo t cng vi n. Whisper A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said. Mommy, I have to pee. The mother said to the little boy, Its not appropriate to say the word pee in church. From now on when you have to pee just tell me that you have to whisper. The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, : Daddy, I have to whisper. The father looked at him and said, Okay, why dont you whisper in my ear. Th thm Mt ngi m dn a con trai nh ca mnh ti nh th. Trong bui l, cu b ni: M i, con mun i i. T i khng thch hp ni trong bui l. T gi tr i khi no mun i i th con ch ni vi m rng con phi th thm., ngi m ni vi a tr. Ch nht sau, b trai li i nh th vi b v trong bui l cu b ni vi b: B i con mun th thm. B cu nhn cu v ni: c thi, sao con khng th thm vo tai b.

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 5)

41.What'll I Do ? Neighbor : "Did I bring your lawn mower back last month ?" Indignant Householder : "No, you did not" Neighbor : "Now what'll I do ? I want to borrow it again ?" 41.Bit lm sao by gi
18

Hng xm : - Thng trc ti c mang ci my ct c tr li cho ng khng? Ch nh tc ti : - Khng, ng u c tr. Hng xm : - Kh cha? Th m by gi ti li mun mn ci my y na y! 42. Creative Imagination A well-known Royal Academician who noticed a drawing of a fish by a pavement-artist asked the man what sort of fish it was supposed to be. "A shark, sir !" "But you've never seen a shark," said the R.A "That's true, sir", the man agreed : "but then, don't some of those Academy chaps paints angels ?" 42. c tng tng sng to Mt vin s Hn Lm trng thy mt bc phc ha hnh con c ca mt ha s va h bn hi : Theo anh th y l loi c g ? - C mp y, tha ngi. - Nhng anh thy c mp bao gi u? - vin s hi. - ng vy, - chng ha s ng , - nhng tha ngi, th sao c my thng cha Vin Hn Lm li v c thin thn c y ? 43. Guess Who Sent Them A young couple that had received many valuable wedding presents established their home in a suburb. One morning they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show in the city, with a single line : "Guess who sent them" The pair had much amusement in trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They duly attended the theatre, and had a delightful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets : "Now you know !" 43. on xem ai gi Mt cp v chng tr nhn c nhiu qu ci qu gi khi xy t m vng ngoi . Mt sng n, h nhn c qua ng bu in hai v mi xem mt bui trnh din ni ting trong thnh ph, km theo mt dng duy nht : "on xem ai gi". Cp v chng rt th v trong vic c xc nh cho ra ngi gi tng nhng khng ti no on ra. H n nh ht ng theo v mi v tn hng mt ti vui. V n nh lc tri khuya, hai ngi vn cn c suy on tung tch ngi mi v danh, th h khm ph ra nh mnh b tc sch mi mn c gi tr. V trn chic bn trong phng n l mt mnh giy vit cng nt ch vi l th gi km theo cp v : "By gi th qu v bit ri!" 44. How Are You On Speed ? Head of Business College : "In teaching shorthand and typewriting, we are strong for accuracy" Inquirer : "How are you on speed ?" Head of Business College : "Well, of last year's class, six married their employers within six months."
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44. Tc Hiu Trng Trng Thng Mi : - Trong vic ging dy tc k v nh my, chng ti t nng vo s chnh xc. Thanh tra : - Th cn v tc th sao? Hiu Trng Trng Thng Mi : - Khi ni, trong s hc vin tt nghip kho trc, su c ly lun su ng ch trong vng su thng thi. 45. Congratulations ! "I painted something for the Academy last year" "Was it hung ?" "Yes, near the entrance where everybody could see it" "Congratulation ! What was it ?" "A board saying, 'Keep to the left' " . 45. Xin chc mng! - Nm ri ti c v mt bc cho Vin Hn Lm. - Th n c c treo khng? - C ch. Treo gn cng chnh, ai cng c th nhn thy n. - Xin chc mng! Anh v ci g vy? - Mt tm bng : "Hy i Pha Bn Tri" 46. An Imitation An artist famous for painting animals was motoring through Iowa, when he saw a very animated looking bull. Thinking he would like to take him on canvas, he got permission of the owner. In due time he produced an excellent likeness of the bull, which he sold for five hundred dollars. On seeing the farmer a year later, he told him he had sold the picture of his bull for the price. "Good Lord !" exclaimed the old farmer. "Why. I would have sold two real bulls for less than that one imitation of yours." 46. gi ang li xe bng qua tiu bang Iowa, mt ha s ni ting v ti v th vt trng thy mt con b rt linh hot. C thch th hin con b y ln khung vi, ngi ha s bn xin php ch nhn. Sau , ng hon tt mt bc tranh con b ging ht nh tht v em bn c nm trm -la. Gp li ngi nng dn y mt nm sau, ngi ho s thut li vic bn bc tranh vi ci gi nh vy. - Tri t i! - lo nng dn ku ln. - Ai m mua hai con b tht ca ti vi gi r hn mt con b gi ca cu th ti bn lin. 47. You Should Have Thought Of That "I don't like these photos at all", said a client. "I look like an ape." The photographer, famous for his wit as well as for his art, favored him with a glance of lofty disdain. "You should have thought of that before you had them taken," was his reply as he turned back to work. 47. L ra anh phi cn nhc trc iu - Ti khng thch my tm nh ny cht no, - mt khch hng ni. - Trng ti c nh kh t y.
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Nh nhip nh, lng danh v c ti hm hnh ln ngh thut ca mnh, ban cho ngi khch mt ci nhn khinh thng y v cao ngo v mt li p trc khi quay li vi cng vic : L ra anh phi ngh ti iu trc khi anh nh ngi ta chp hnh anh ch. 48. THE SUNSET Father : "This is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know." Friend : "Ah, that accounts for it ! I never saw a sunset like that in this country." 48. Hong hn nhp ngoi ng b : - y l bc tranh hong hn con gi ti v y. N hc v nc ngoi v y anh. Ngi bn : - A, hn g! x n ti cha h thy hong hn no nh vy c. 49. Soiled Currency "I hope you are not afraid of microbes", apologized the paying teller as he cashed the schoolteacher's check with soiled currency. "Don't worry," said the young lady, "a microbe couldn't live on my salary." 49. Tin bn - Ti hy vng l c khng s vi trng, - ngi th qu ngn hng xin li trong khi thanh ton tin mt cho tm ngn phiu lnh lng ca mt c gio bng nhng t giy bc d bn. - Anh ng lo, - c gi p, - ngay c vi trng cng khng sng ni trn ng lng ca ti u. 50. Why Do You Go On The Balcony ? Wife : "Why do you go on the balcony when I sing ? Don't you like to hear me ?" Husband : "It isn't that. I want the neighbors to see that I'm not beating my wife." 50. Ti sao anh li i trn ban cng ? V : Ti sao anh li i trn ban cng trong khi em ht nh th ch ? B anh khng thch nghe em ht sao ? Chng : Khng phi vy u, em. Anh ch mun cho b con hng xm thy l anh hin thi khng c nh p g em ht.

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Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 1)

1. Money And Friends "Since he lost his money, half his friends don't know him any more" "And the other half ?" "They don't know yet that has lost it" 1.Tin v bn - T ngy hn mt tin, phn na bn b ca hn khng cn bit ti hn na. - Cn na kia ? - H cha bit l hn mt tin. 2. Father Wants To Go To Bed Next-door Neighbor's Little Boy : "Father say could you lend him your cassette player for tonight ?" Heavy - Metal Enthusiast : "Have you a party on ?" Little Boy : "Oh, no. Father only wants to go to bed ". 2.B chu mun i ng Ch b hng xm cnh nh : - B chu hi ti nay ch c th cho b chu mn ci cassette c khng ? Ngi m nhc rock nng : - B nh chu c tic tng g h ? Ch b: - khng, b chu ch mun i ng. 3. The River Isn't Deep A stranger on horse back came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveller asked a youngster if it was deep. "No", replied the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.
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When the traveller reached the other side he turned and shouted: "I thought you said it wasn't deep ?" "It isn't", was the boy''''s reply : "it only takes grandfather's ducks up to their middles !" 3.Dng sng khng su Mt l khch i nga n mt dng sng xa l. ng ta hi mt thiu nin xem dng sng y c su khng. - Khng u, - ch b p, v ngi k m bt u vt sng. Nhng ngay sau ng nhn ra c ngi ln nga u phi bi tri cht. Khi ngi l khch ti b bn kia, ng quay li ht ln: - Tao c tng my ni l sng khng su. - ng th m, - ch b p, - nc sng ny ch ngp ngang bng l vt ca ng chu thi. 4. My Daughter's Music Lessons "My daughter's music lessons are a fortune to me ?" "How is that ?" "They enabled me to buy the neighbors' houses at half price". 4. Gi tr ca nhng bi hc nhc - Nhng bi hc nhc ca con gi ti l c mt gia sn ca ti . - Ti sao vy ? - Chng gip ti mua c cc ngi nh ca hng xm ch bng na gi tin thi. 5. A Policeman And A Reporter Country Policeman (at the scene of murder) : "You can't come in here" Reporter : "But I've been sent to do the murder" Country Policeman : "Well, you're too late; the murder's been done". 5. Cnh st v phng vin Cnh st vng qu (ti hin trng mt v n mng) : - Anh khng c vo y. Phng vin : - Nhng ti c phi n y lm v n mng ny. Cnh st vng qu : - A, anh mun mt ri ; v n mng lm xong. 6. A Cow Grazing Artist: "That, sir, is a cow grazing" Visitor: "Where is the grass ?" Artist: "The cow has eaten it" Visitor: "But where is the cow ?" Artist: "You don''t suppose she'd be fool enough to stay there after she'd eaten all the grass, do you ?" 6. B n c Ha s : - Bc tranh v mt con b ang n c y, tha ng. Khch : - C thy c u ? Ha s : - Con b n ht ri. Khch : - Th cn con b u ? Ha s : - Ch b ng tng con b li ngu n mc ng sau khi n ht c sao ng ?
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7. Let's Work Together "Can you tell me how to get to the post office ?" "That's just where I want to go. Let's work together. You go south, and I'll go north, and we'll report progress every time we meet" 7. Ta hy phi hp vi nhau - Nh anh ch cho ng n bu in ? - Chnh ti cng mun ti . Ta hy phi hp vi nhau. Anh i hng nam, ti i hng bc, v chng ta s tng thut li tin trin mi khi mnh gp nhau. 8. The French People Have Difficulty "Did you have any difficulty with your French in Paris ?" "No, but the French people did" 8. Ngi Php khng rnh ting Php - Anh c gp kh khn g vi vn ting Php ca anh khi ti Paris khng? - Khng c, nhng ngi Php th qu l c. 9. Great Mystery Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?" Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?" Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim". 9. B mt khng khip Ch b bn bo : - B mt khng khip y! Nm mi nn nhn! Mua bo khng, tha ng? Khch qua ng : - Li y, tao ly mt t. (c qua mt hi) - Ny, thng nhc kia, trong bo c thy tin no nh vy u. N nm ch no ch? Ch b bn bo : - chnh l iu b mt, tha ng. ng l nn nhn th nm mi mt y. 10. Why Do They Have French Lesson? "What's the idea of the Greens having French lessons ?" "They have adopted a French baby, and want to understand what she says when she begins to talk". 10. Hc ting Php lm g ? - V c g m gia nh Green li hc ting Php ch? - H va nhn nui mt b s sinh ngi Php nn mun hiu n s ni g khi bt u tp ni.

24

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 2)

11. The Hen And The Dog Jones : "Sorry, old man, that my hen got loose and scratched up your garden" Smith : "That's all right, my dog ate your hen" Jones : "Fine! I just ran over your dos and killed him". 11. G v ch Jones : - Xin li anh bn v con g nh ti st chung v bi nt khu vn ca anh. Smith : - Khng sao u, con ch nh ti xi ti con g ca anh ri. Jones : - Hay qu! Ti va mi cn cht con ch nh anh y ny. 12. Our Faults "Once a friend of mine and I agreed that it would be helpful for each of us to tell the other all our faults" "How did it work ?" "We haven't spoken for five years". 12. Tnh bn thng thn - C ln mt ngi bn v ti ng nn ni cho nhau bit tt c li lm ca ngi kia ; nh th s c ch cho c hai. - Kt cc th no? - Sut nm nm ri bn ti khng thm ni chuyn vi nhau na. 13. She's My Wife One of the guest turned to a man by his side to criticize the singing of the woman who was trying to entertain them. "What a terrible voice! Do you know who she is ?" "Yes", was the answer. "She's my wife" "Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to sing. I wonder who wrote that awful song ?" "I did", was the answer. 13. V ti Mt v khch quay sang mt ngi ngi bn v ch bai ging ca ca mt ph n ang ht gip vui cho h. - Ging ca g nghe m khip! Anh c bit b ta l ai khng? - Bit ch, - cu tr li. - V ti . - i ch, xin li anh. Thc ra th khng phi do ging ca ca ch y. Chnh ci th h ln m ch ta buc lng phi ca ht ln mi l khip. Ti khng hiu a no li i vit mt bi ca kinh khng nh vy? - Ti vit y. 14. The Difference Between Valor And Discretion "What's the difference between valor and discretion ?" "Well, to go to a swell restaurant without tipping the waiter would be valor" "I see. And discretion ?"
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"That would be to dine at a different restaurant the next day". 14. Can trng v t nh - Can trng v t nh khc nhau ra lm sao? - , i n mt nh hng xn m khng buc boa cho bi bn tc l can trng. - Ra th. Cn t nh? - Tc l hm sau nn chn nh hng khc m n. 15. Flattering Critic : "Ah! And what is this ? It is superb! What soul! What expression!" Artist : "Yeah ? That's where I clear the paint off my brushes". 15. Nnh b Nh ph bnh : - i! Ci g th kia? Mt bc tranh tuyt vi! Qu su sc! Qu tinh t! Ha s : - Ci g? l ch ti chi c cho sch sn y. 16. Cigar Fruit Gardener : "This is a tobacco plant in full flower, madam" Dear Old Lady : "How very interesting! And how long will it be before the cigars are ripe ?" 16. Tri x g Ngi lm vn : - y l cy thuc l ang n hoa , tha b. Mnh ph kh knh : - Hay qu nh! Th bao lu na th x g mi chn? 17. Downstairs And Upstairs Downstairs : "Didn't you hear me pounding on the ceiling ?" Upstairs : "Oh, that's all right. We were making a lot of noise ourselves". 17. Chuyn c x Nh tng di : - Ti nn ln trn nh th m anh khng nghe ? Nh tng trn: - , khng sao u. Chnh bn ti cng ang lm inh i c ln y ny. 18. Time "Don't you agree that Time is the greatest healer ?" "He may be, but he's certainly no beauty specialist". 18. Thi gian - Anh c ng rng Thi Gian s cha lnh mi vt thng khng? - C th y, nhng chc chn Thi Gian khng phi l chuyn gia thm m ri. 19. Borrowing Money "Glad to see you, old man. Can you lend me five dollars ?" "Sorry, but I haven't a cent with me today" "And at home ?" "They're all very well, thank you, very well". 19. Vay tin - Gp anh tht qu ha qu, anh bn. Cho ti vay mi c khng? - Rt tic l hm nay ti khng c mt xu trong ngi.
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- Cn nh th sao? - nh ai cng kho c, cm n anh, khe lm. 20. How Many Knaves Live In This Street ? A wag asked his friend. "How many knaves do you suppose live in this street besides yourself ?" "Beside myself !" replied the other. "Do you mean to insult me ?" "Well, then ?" said the first, "how many do you reckon including yourself ?" 20. Bao nhiu k bt lng? Mt k thch a hi ngi bn : - Theo anh th ph ny c bao nhiu k bt lng, khng k anh? - Khng k ti! - ngi kia ku ln. - B anh mun s nhc ti y ? - Ch, vy th ph ny c bao nhiu k bt lng, k c anh?

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 3)

21. Life - Size Enlargements "Do you make life-size enlargements of snapshot ?" "That's our specialty" "Fine : here's a picture I took of the Pyramid" 21. nh phng ln - y anh c nhn phng nh ln bng kch thc tht khng? - l chuyn mn ca chng ti. - Hay qu! y, phng cho ti tm nh ti chp Kim T Thp. 22. Terrible Experience Miss Gushin : "It must be wonderful to be a parachute jumper. I suppose you've had some terrible experiences" Parachutist (fed up with her) : "Yes, miss, terrible. Why, once I came down where there was a sign : "Keep Off The Grass"". 22. Kinh nghim khng khip C Gushin : - Lm ngi nhy d chc hn phi tuyt vi lm. Ti ngh l anh tng tri qua nhiu kinh nghim khng khip. Ngi nhy d ( chn ngy nhng cu hi ca c ta) : - ng vy, khng khip lm. Ch, c ln ti p xung ngay ni c cm bng ghi "Cm i Trn C". 23. Don't Be So Conceited Smith : "I keep hearing the word 'Idiot' - I hope you are not referring to me" Jones : "Don't be so conceited. As if there are no other idiots in the world!" 23. ng t ph na Smith : - Ta c nghe my lp i lp li mi my t "thng ngu". Hy vng l my khng m ch tao y ch? Jones : - Thi i, ng c ln mt t ph. Lm nh trn i ny khng cn thng ngu no khc.
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24. Anything Will Do Musician (after much pressing) : "Well, all right, since you insist. What shall I play ?" Host : "Anything you like, It is only to annoy the neighbors". 24. Ci g cng c Nhc s (sau nhiu ln b ni p) : - Thi c ri, nu nh ng mun th. Ti s chi bi g by gi y ? Gia ch : - Bt c bi no anh thch. Ch chc tc hng xm thi m. 25. Naming Animals Adam and Eva were naming the animals of the earth when along came a rhinoceros. Adam : "What shall we call this one ?" Eva : "Let's call it a rhinoceros" Adam : "Why ?" Eva : "Well, because it looks more like a rhinoceros than anything we're named yet". 25. t tn mung th Adam v Eva ang t tn cho cc loi th trn tri t th mt con t gic i ti. Adam : - Ta s gi con ny l g? Eva : - Hy gi n l t gic. Adam : - Sao vy? Eva : - Bi v n trng ging mt con t gic hn bt k con g chng ta t tn ny gi. 26. Statues Country Cousin (after prolonged inspection of building operations) : "I don't see the sense of putting statues on top of your buildings" Friend : "Statues ? Those aren't statues. They're bricklayers". 26. Nhng pho tng Nh qu ln tnh (sau mt hi ngm ngha vic xy dng) : - Ti khng hiu sao li t my pho tng ln nc to nh ca anh lm ci g ? Ngi bn : - Tng no? My ci u phi l tng. l nhng ngi th n. 27. Man - Eating Lion Old Lady (at the zoo) : "Is that a man-eating lion ?" Fed - up Keeper : "Yes, lady, but we're short of men this week, so all he gets is beef". 27. S t n tht ngi B gi ( s th) : - l s t n tht ngi phi khng? Ngi gi th (chn ngy b c) : - ng , b, nhng tun ny chng ti ht sch ngi ri nn n ch c n tht b thi.

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28. Identified "This check is doubtless all right," said the paying teller politely, "but have you anything about you by which you could be identified ? The pretty young thing faltered, "I have a mole high up above my left knee". 28. Xc minh - Tm chi phiu ny hon ton hp l, - ngi th qu ngn hng lch s ni, - nhng c c ci g xc minh v c khng? - C nng xinh p p ng : - Em c mt nt rui cao tt bn trn u gi tri. 29. It Wasn't Me "Hello, Frank, I thought you were dead ?" "Oh", said Frank, "they did get a story around that I was dead, but it was another man, I knew it wasn't me as soon as I heard of it" 29. Khng phi ti u - , Frank, tao c tng u my cht ri? - , - Frank ni, - ng l h c n i rng tao cht, nhng l ngi khc kia. Nghe tin n y l tao bit ngay lin khng phi l tao m. 30. A Great Discovery ? "Purely by accident, I have made one of the greatest discoveries," said the scientist. "May I ask what it was ?" "I found," - said the scientist, "that by keeping a bottle of ink handy you can use a fountain pen just like any other pen, without all the trouble to filling it". 30. Khm ph v i - Hon ho do ngu nhin, ti thc hin c mt trong nhng khm ph v i nht, - nh khoa hc ni. - Xin php c hi l g ? - Ti khm ph ra l, - nh khoa hc p, - bng cch mt l mc gn bn, ta c th s dng mt cy bt my ht nh bt k cy bt mc no khc m khng phi mt cng bm mc.

Truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit (Phn 4)

Nhng cu truyn ci song ng Anh - Vit. N khng ch gip c bn th gin m cn gip bn nng cao trnh Anh ng. 31. Has The Dinner-Bell Rung ? "My dear sir, you flatter me lingering to hear the remainder of my tale when the other passengers dashed away at the sound of the dinner-bell." Said the longwinded tourist to his one remaining listener. "What! Has the dinner-bell rung ?" asked the other, as he jumped to his feet ands dashed toward the dining room. 31. n gi n ri sao ? - ng tht l qu ha, ng lm ti hnh din v chu kh nn li nghe nt cu chuyn ti k trong khi cc hnh khch khc lao vt i ngay khi chung bo gi n vang ln.
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- Mt du khch c tt ni nng dng di, t nht, bo ngi nng nghe c nht cn ngi li. - Ci g! n gi n ri sao? - ngi kia ku ln v ng pht dy, lao vt v pha phng n. 32. A Popular Song "So that is a popular song he's singing ?" "It was before he sang it". 32. Ca khc ni ting - Vy ci bi hn ang ht l mt ca khc ni ting ? - N tng ni ting trc khi hn bt u ht bi y. 33. A Portrait Host (doing the honors) : "And that is a portrait of me great - great - grandfather" Visitor : " Wonderful ! Why, he doesn't look any older than you !" 33. Bc chn dung Gia ch (ang a khch i gii thiu quanh nh) : - Cn y l chn dung ng c ba i ca ti. Khch : - Hay tht l hay! Ch, trng ng c chng gi hn anh t no. 34. A Gift From Sister She : "Where did you get that umbrella ?" He : "It was a gift from sister" She : "You told me you hadn't any sisters" He : "I know. But that's what engraved on the handle". 34. Mn qu ca ngi em gi Nng : - Anh kim u ra cy d y th ? Chng : - l mt mn qu ca ngi em gi. Nng : - Sao anh bo em l anh chng c ch em gi no c. Chng : - Th ng vy. Nhng l dng ch khc trn cn d. 35. Haircut Free Of Charge A man entered a barber's shop with a boy of five or six years of age holding his hand. He was in a great hurry and he asked the barber to cut his hair first and later to cut the boy's hair. "He can wait, I want you to cut my hair first," he said. The barber did as he was told and when he has finished the man got out of the chair and the boy tool his place. The man excused himself and said that he would be back in a few minutes and would pay for them both. Then he left and the barber began to cut the boy's hair. When he had finished he picked the boy up and placed him in a chair to wait. He gave him a magazine to look at. A half hour passed. An hour passed. At last the barber said : "Don't worry, your father will be back soon" "My father ?" said the boy. "He isn't my father, I was playing in the street and he came along and said : "Come on with me, little boy. Let's go into this barber's shop together and have our hair cut". 35. Ht tc min ph Mt ngi dt tay mt ch b trc nm, su tui bc vo hiu ht tc. ng ta ang rt vi v bo ngi th ht tc cho ng trc ri ht cho thng b. - N ch c m, ng ht cho ti trc i, - ng ta ni.
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Ngi th lm theo li v khi hon tt, ngi khch ra khi gh cho thng b ngi vo th ch. ng co li phi i ngay v s quay li sau vi pht tr tin cho c hai. Th l ng ta i ra v ngi th bt u ht tc cho thng b. Xong xui, ng b a b t ln mt chic gh ngi ch v cho n mt t tp ch xem. Na gi tri qua. Mt gi tri qua. Cui cng, ng th ht tc ln ting : - ng c s nghe, nh. Ba my s quay li lin. - Ba no? - ch b ni. - ng y u phi ba chu. Chu ang chi ngoi ng th ng y ti bo : "Theo bc i chu. Ta hy vo tim ht tc ny v cng ht tc i". 36. May I Go In To Swim ? Overheard on the beach at a coast resort. Small boy to his mother : "Mummy, may I go in to swim ?" "Certainly not, my dear, it's far too deep" "But daddy is swimming" "Yes, dear, but he's insured". 36. Con xung bi c khng ? Chuyn nghe c ti bi tm ca mt khu ngh mt ven bin. Ch b hi m : - M i, cho con xung bi c khng? - Nht nh l khng c, cng , nc su gh lm. - Nhng ba ang bi kia ka. - Ba con bi th c; ng c bo him ri. 37. A City Idler A good - for - nothing city idler had inherited a country grocery store. He was taking his ease alongside the counter in his favorite chair when a customer came in and asked for a dozen apples. "I can't wait on you to day" said the ex-city man. "Come in some other time when I'm standing up". 37. Dn li thnh th Mt tay chy li v tch s thnh ph va c hng tha k mt ca hng bch ha min qu. Hn ta ang tn hng th nhn trong chic gh ng nht cnh bn quy th mt ngi khch vo mua mt chc to. - Hm nay khng bn hng nghe, - g cu dn thnh th ni. - Ch khi no ti ng ln th ng ti mua. 38. B. C 1187 Two men, who were visiting a Museum, were seen standing in front of an Egyptian mummy, over which hung a placard bearing the inscription : "B.C. 1187" Both visitors were much mystified thereby "What do you make of that, Jim ?" "Well", said Jim, "I don't know; but maybe it was the number of the motorcar that killed him". 38. Nm 1187 T.C.N Trong vin bo tng, ngi ta gp hai du khch ang ng trc mt xc p Ai Cp, bn trn xc p y l mt tm bng ch "1187 TCN". Hai anh chng n ht sc thc mc v tm bng y.
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- Anh hiu ci ra lm sao, Jim? - Ch, ti cng chu. - Jim ni, - Nhng c th l s xe ca chic xe cn cht tn ny. 39. Boying Ambition "Where any of your boyish ambitions ever realized ?" Yes, When my mother used to cut my hair I often wished I might be bard headed" 39. Tham vng thi trai tr - Nhng tham vng thi trai tr ca anh c ci no thnh hin thc khng? - C ch. Ngy xa khi m ti ct tc cho ti, ti thng c ao l mnh s hi u. 40. Three Sons Three proud mothers discussing their eight-year-old sons. "I just know my little Johnnie is going to be an engineer," said the first. "Whenever I buy him a toy, he tears it apart to see what makes it work" The second said, "I'm so proud of Freddie, I just know he's going to be a fine lawyer. He argues with the other kids all the time" "No question about it", said the third mother, "little Harold is destined to be a doctor, Why, he never comes when I called him!" 40. Ba qu t Ba b m t ho ang bn lun v cc cu qu t tm tui ca h. - Ti bit chc thng Johnnie nh ti ln ln s thnh k s. - ngi th nht ni. - H ti mua cho mn chi no l cu cu tho tung n ra xem ci g lm n chy. B m th hai ni : - Ti ht sc hnh din v thng Freie nh ti. Ti bit chc n s tr thnh mt lut s ti ba. N lc no cng ci c vi nhng a tr khc. - B Harold nh ti th khi phi ni, - b m th ba ln ting, - s n s thnh bc s. Ch, ti m ku n th ch bao gi n ti. - Celine Dion- my heart will go on Every night in my dreams I see you. I feel you. That is how I know you go on. Far across the distance And spaces between us You have come to show you go on. Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on Love can touch us one time Li dch: Hng m trong gic m ca em em thy anh, cm nhn anh em bit anh ln tin bc nh th no Khong cch gia 2 ta tht xa anh vn n bn em, ch cho em thy anh vn tin bc D anh bt c ni u, d xa hay gn Em vn tin tri tim i ta lun hng v nhau mt ln na anh n m cnh ca V anh y trong tri tim em V tri tim em s khng ngng p... v anh Trong cuc i mi con ngi tnh yu ch n
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And last for a lifetime And never go till we're one Love was when I loved you One true time I hold to In my life we'll always go on Near, far, wherever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once more you open the door And you're here in my heart And my heart will go on and on There is some love that will not go away You're here, there's nothing I fear, And I know that my heart will go on We'll stay forever this way You are safe in my heart And my heart will go on and on

c 1 ln Nhng n l mi mi s chng bao gi ra i cho n khi 2 ta l 1 tnh yu n khi em yu anh mt ln trong i rt tht khi em gi vng Trong i em chng ta s mi tin bc D anh bt c ni u, d xa hay gn Em vn tin tri tim i ta lun hng v nhau mt ln na anh n m cnh ca V anh y trong tri tim em V tri tim em s khng ngng p... v anh Anh y chng cn g em phi s hi em bit tri tim mnh vn p s vn mi trn con ng chn anh c ch ng vng tri trong tri tim em v tri tim em vn mi yu anh ....

TAKE ME TO YOUR HEART (Michael Learns To Rock) Hiding from The Rain and Snow * Trying to forget but I won't let go Looking at a crowded street Listening to my own heart beat So many people all around the world Tell me where do I find someone like you girl [Chorus:] Take me to your heart, take me to your soul Give me your hand before I'm old Show me what love is - haven't got a clue Show me that wonders can be true They say nothing lasts forever We're only here today Love is now or never Bring me far away

Li Vit: Giu mnh di cn ma v tuyt lnh C gng qun mi th nhng khng th Nhn con ph ng c Lng nghe thy tri tim mnh p Th gii c v vn ngi Hy ni cho ti bit,ti c th tm u mt ngi con gi nh em Hy mang ti ti tri tim em,Hy mang ti ti linh hn em Cho ti c lm bn tay em,trc khi ti tr ln gi ci Hy ch cho ti thy tnh yu l g,m sao ti khng h hay bit Hy ch cho ti thy iu k diu nht c th xy ra Ngi ta ni rng khng c g l vnh hng c
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Take me to your heart take me to your soul Give me your hand and hold me Show me what love is - be my guiding star It's easy take me to your heart Standing on a mountain high Looking at the moon through a clear blue sky I should go and see some friends But they don't really comprehend Don't need too much talking without saying anything All I need is someone who makes me wanna sing [Chorus:] Take me to your heart take me to your soul Give me your hand before I'm old Show me what love is - haven't got a clue Show me that wonders can be true

v chng ta cng vy Tnh yu ch c th l by gi hoc khng bao gi na Hy mang ti i tht xa Hy mang ti ti tri tim em,Hy mang ti ti linh hn em Hy trao cho ti i bn tay em v hy m ti Hy cho ti tnh yu lm ngi sao dn li Tht d dng bit bao a ti n vi tri tim em ng trn nh ni cao vi vi ngm nhn vng trng gia bu tri m trong sng vi bn b Nhng khng ai thc s hiu ti c C l im lng l li ra tt c V tt ti cn by gi l mt ai khin ti c th ct ln nhng giai iu du dng Hy mang ti ti tri tim em,Hy mang ti ti linh hn em Cho ti c lm bn tay em,trc khi ti tr ln gi ci Hy ch cho ti thy tnh yu l g,m sao ti khng h hay bit Hy ch cho ti thy iu k diu nht c th xy ra. Only love 2 a.m. and the rain is falling Here we are at the crossroads once again You're telling me you're so confused You can't make up your mind Is this meant to be You're asking me But only love can say - try again or walk away But I believe for you and me The sun will shine one day So I'll just play my part And pray you'll have a change of heart But I can't make you see it through That's something only love can do
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- Tokyo Square say you will Say you will,say you will be mine I just keep missing you tonight I feel so unsure,I feel so alone I just don't dare to open my eyes Into deep,going in too deep I can't get you out of my mind Baby no matter just how hard I try I don't want to be alone tonight Won't you be my guilding light Lead the way to be by your side Won't you be my star tonight I need more than a neon light

Say you will,say you will be mine I just keep missing you tonight I feel so unsure,I feel so alone I just don't dare to open my eyes.

In your arms as the dawn is breaking Face to face and a thousand miles apart I've tried my best to make you see There's hope beyond the pain If we give enough, if we learn to trust But only love can say - try again or walk away But I believe for you and me The sun will shine one day So I'll just play my part And pray you'll have a change of heart But I can't make you see it through That's something only love can do

I know if I could find the words To touch you deep inside You'd give our dream just one more chance Don't let this be our good-bye But only love can say - try again or walk away But I believe for you and me The sun will shine one day So I'll just play my part And pray you'll have a change of heart But I can't make you see it through That's something only love can do That's something only love can do . My Love - Westlife An empty street, An empty house, A hole inside my heart, I'm all alone and the rooms are getting smaller I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are, The days we've had, The songs we've sang together(oh yeah). My Love - Westlife Mt con ng vng, Mt cn phng trng, Mt vt thng ni tri tim ca anh, Cn phng dng nh nh hn, khin anh lun cm thy c n Anh t hi nh th no, anh t hi ti sao Anh t hi nhng ngy cn u, nhng ngy chng ta c nhau v nhng bi ht m chng ta cng ht V em i, anh vn mi p m tt c
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And oh my love, I'm holding on forever, Reaching for a love that seems so far, Chorus: So i say a little prayer, and hope my dreams will take me there, where the skies are blue to see you once again, My love, overseas from coast to coast, to find the place I love the most, where the fields are green to see you once again, my love. I try to read, I go to work, I'm laughing with my friends, but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking(oh no) I wonder how I wonder why I wonder where they are the days we had, the songs we sang together(oh yeah) And oh my love I'm holding on forever, reaching for the love that seems so far Chorus To hold you in my arms, To promise you my love, To tell u from my heart What I'm thinking of Reaching for the love that Seems so far Chorus to end - Shayne Ward until you

Tm kim v tnh yu nh xa vi V anh ...

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Baby life was good to me Em yu, cuc sng ny tht l tuyt vi But you just made it better Nhng em lm cho n tr nn tt hn nhiu I love the way you stand by me Through any kind of weather Anh yu lm sao khi em ng cnh anh v cng nhau vt qua bao sng gi I dont wanna run away Anh chng mun i cht no Just wanna make your day Anh mun em tht hnh phc When you felt the world is on your shoulders Khi thy em, anh c tng nh c th gii ang nng ln 2 vai anh Dont wanna make it worse Anh khng mun lm cho n t hn Just wanna make us work Anh ch mun chng ta bn nhau Baby tell me I will do whatever Baby, hy ni i em anh s lm tt c v em It feels like nobody ever knew me until you knew me Anh cm thy nh khng ai bit anh cho n khi em quen anh Feels like nobody ever loved me until you loved me Khng ai yu anh cho n khi em yu anh Feels like nobody ever touched me until you touched me Khng ai chm n anh cho n khi em chm n con tim ny Baby nobody, nobody,until you Baby, khng ai c, khng mt ai cho n khi em n Baby it just took one hit of you now I'm addicted Baby, ch 1 ci nh nh ln vai thi th anh thy nh ang say You never know what's missing Em khng bit mnh thiu iu g Till you get everything you need Ri n ngy kia em c tt c mi th em cn I don't wanna run away Anh chng mun i cht no Just wanna make your day Anh mun em tht hnh phc When you feel the world is on your shoulders Khi thy em, anh c tng nh c th gii ang nng ln 2 vai anh Don't wanna make it worse Anh khng mun lm cho n t hn Just wanna make us work Anh ch mun chng ta bn nhau Baby tell me,I'll do whatever
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Baby, hy ni i em anh s lm tt c v em See it was enough to know Ch xem thi cng bit iu g If I ever let you go I would be no one Nu anh em i th anh s khng cn ai na Cos I never thought I'd feel Anh cha bao gi ngh rng All the things you made me feel Tt c nhng iu em lm cho anh Wasn't looking for someone until you Anh khng tm kim mt ai, khng mt ai cho n khi no em v li bn anh. Nobody, nobody, until you

---------------end-----Hu Ve-------------------------

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