HAVE/HAS GOT WITH JOKES Complete the jokes with:has(or `s),have (or `ve),hasn`t or haven`t in the gaps provided:

1)I................got a terrible problem.I........got a flat in London and a house in Paris.I..............got a boat and a private plane.So what`s the problem?I........got any money to pay for them. 2)What............got a neck but ............got a head?I don`t know.A bottle. 3)What..............got four legs and flies?I don`t know. A dead cat. 4)Excuse me,.................you got a cigarette?Yes.I..........got lots of them. 5)What two words ............got thousands of letters in them? I don`t know. Post Office. 6)Mum,there`s a salesman at the door with a moustache.Tell him your father...........already got one. 7)Two men are playing cards.I win.I ...........got four aces.I`m afraid I win.That`s impossible.What...........you got?Two nines and a loaded gun.OK.You win! 8)Is this a second hand shop?Yes.Good! ...........you got a second hand for my watch? 9)My grandmother is 85 and she..................got one grey hair on her head.That`s amazing! No,it`s not.She`s bald!

THE PRESENT SIMPLE Use do/does/don`t or doesn`t to complete the jokes. 1)What type of car...............your father drive?I.................know the name,but it starts with a `P.That`s strange,our car starts with a key. 2)..............you ever have problems making up your mind?Well,yes and no. 3)Dad,..................a dishwasher wash dishes?Yes,that`s right son.And............... a bus driver drive buses?Yes.And ............a weightlifter lift weights?Yes.Why all the questions? Well,............a shoplifter lift shops? 4)What.............ants take when they are ill?I.........know.ANTibiotics! 5)What .............your father do for a living?As little as possible! 6)Mum,.................God go to the bathroom?No,son,why..........you ask?Well,every morning dad goes to the bathroom,knocks on the door and shouts,`Oh God! Are you still in there?