REFLECTION PAPER (U1RP1)

PERSONAL ANALYSIS OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

by
Carol A. Warhurst

A Paper Presented in Partial Fulfillment

Of the Requirements of
LEAD515 LEADERSHIP COMMUNICATION/CONFLICT RESOLUTION
May 2012

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Interpersonal effectiveness can be determined by taking an inventory of your own

personal levels of self-awareness. According to Janasz self-awareness is knowing your
motivations, preferences, and personality and understanding how these factors influence your
judgments, decisions and interactions with other people. (Janasz, Dowd & Schneider, 2011, 5)
I am not exactly sure I can pinpoint where the need for self-improvement came from, but for
most of my adult life I have been an avid reader of any kind of self-help book I can see myself
needing or wanting to learn from. Perhaps it is born out of a strong need to be accepted by
others, or a strong need to improve myself enough that I feel my self-esteem matches what I see
in others. Whatever the reason, I believe I have developed a system of personally learning and
growing that affords me a higher than average degree of interpersonal skills.
Currently my interpersonal relationships are built around the interactions that I have with
people at school or at work. Pursuing both full-time leaves little room for any other
interpersonal relationships, outside my immediate family. My best interpersonal relationship in
my workplace is with my senior colleague on the finance team. We work together directly every
day and even though our personalities are different in so many ways, we are very self-aware,
adaptable and trustworthy. I think the combination of these three traits can create a common
bond no matter how different the personalities might be. We have an excellent and effective
form of communication because we trust one another and we are conscientious of our
surroundings and how our own attitudes affect others.

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My worst interpersonal relationship right now is with my teenage son. He is fifteen years
old and thinks he knows everything. There is presently enough conflict in our relationship to
provide that important means of growth rather than failure or a negative event to be avoided at
all costs. (Wilmot & Hocker, 2010, 9) I am finding the information in the Interpersonal
Conflict book to be invaluable for me as it pertains to my relationship with my son. There are
attributes of our relationship that are very constructive and some that are very destructive. My
son tends to fall into these avoidance spirals and I try to make up for it by interrogating him with
unnecessary questions. I have never been a teenage boy so sometimes it is very hard for met to
understand or empathize with him. However, I am learning more and more every day that what
he needs from me is unconditional love and a more flexible structure as he learns more about
himself and the world around him.
My personal strengths regarding interpersonal skill usage would probably be how
agreeable and conscientious I am. I can be sort of an emotional chameleon at times without
losing any authenticity of who I am and what I feel. If I sense that the relationship that I am
engaged in requires more cooperation and less self-direction, I will attempt to put on my
submissive cap and do what others expect or require in meeting their needs. However, I am fully
capable of being the team leader and taking the bull by the horns when that is needed as well. I
communicate a high level of dependability in the relationships I have at work because I know
that trust and consistency are very important in that environment. If my co-workers do not trust
that I am willing and able to do my job, and do it well, they are going to struggle with their own
tasks when it comes to the intersection of those goals. For example, if a success coach has a

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learner that they are trying to enroll in enough credit hours to ensure that they get their financial
aid award and are able to pay for classes and they get their portion of the job done and then send
them my way and I let the students file expire before I qualify them for financial aid, all their
work has been in vain. It is very important for my co-workers to believe in me and to have
confidence that I will consistently do the tasks that are assigned to me.
My biggest weakness regarding interpersonal skill usage is definitely emotional stability.
I dont have the greatest level of self-confidence and I am very sensitive to how other people
treat me or how they treat other people. I dont like to see bullying of any kind or even forceful
coercion. When I see people talking down to others or when they behave in a way that
communicates anger or severe disapproval, I tend to become emotionally unstable. I begin to
swing on the pendulum of emotions, ranging from insecure to anxious to full on depressed and
sad. I realize that this is a powerful weakness because it has lasting effects on those around me.
If I let myself become too weighted down with my emotions, I can no longer be objective or fair
and I lose my trustworthiness with my peers.
My goals for my own interpersonal development are to learn to manage and master the
art of emotional stability, to become aware of my own preferences, and to gain a deeper
understanding of what motivates me. I believe that if I have more control over my emotional
stability, I will be a much more reliable and confident person. I think that understanding my
preferences will help me understand how I see the world and compel me to seek out people that
will expose me to things that I may not prefer because I dont yet understand them. Finally, in
knowing what motivates me I can channel that internal drive that drives me forward in pursuing

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my own goals and free myself up to learn what motivates others and use that knowledge to be a
champion of their success as well.

Reference
DeJanasz S., Dowd K., Schneider B. . (2011) . Interpersonal Skills in Organizations 4th
Ed. Columbus, OH: McGraw-Hill.
Wilmot, W.W., Hocker, J. L. (2010). Interpersonal conflict. (8th ed). Columbus:OH:
McGraw-Hill.

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