Crossen 1 Emily Crossen ENG 1010 Professor Trillo September 16, 2013 The Autistic Challenges I have been

considered a normal person throughout my life. Thinking about my childhood, Ive thought it was a happy one. Everyday moments for instance were going to my Grandma Crossens house for Christmas and Easter with my dads relatives, and at home watching Disney movies with my older sister. These were precious moments that were normal and most memorable. When the year 1999 came, the normal blissful memories of my childhood were changing into nightmares which I would live for the rest of my life. I began to have poor eye contact, misbehave at church, echo words from a movie, and not understand what others were talking about. All those symptoms were a sign of autism. When I consider autism, I think of being out of control, flailing my arms, and making noises. However, autism was something that I would never really know and understand, until I got diagnosed with it. At the age of five, I was diagnosed with a milder form of autism called Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified. I thought the autism which I had was severe, but it was not. The symptoms were related to what I had which was trouble with conversational skills and memorization of things heard without knowing whats being said. The real definition of PDD-NOS is when children have significant problems with communication and play and some difficulty interacting with others. This form of autism was different from the autistic spectrum. I was high functional in understanding something. Some who are low functioned have a very hard time communicating with others. It depends on the severity level of the

Crossen 2 spectrum. I never knew what my future would be or what autism can do with the behavior of adults. After the diagnosis, I was placed on an IEP. An IEP is an individualized educational plan for students who have learning disabilities which sets the goals for that persons accomplishments. I had been on the IEP during elementary, middle, and high school. As I went to school, it seemed like everything was hard for me to understand. The struggles which I had were interpreting the readings, understanding language was hard to learn, studying math had also been a problem, and Id end up writing the wrong answers for a list of questions. This was too much difficulty for me at the time, so I was placed in speech therapy. The speech therapist who was really wonderful was Mrs. Miller from elementary school. I thought she was very compassionate in helping me out with understanding language, and what people were talking about. Before starting speech therapy, I felt anxious and afraid because I thought Mrs. Miller was firm and not easy going. When I started speech therapy, I became peaceful and the tension faded. She had helped me become a superior listener for learning. Mrs. Miller made me a developed learner. Another speech therapist who was influential to me was Mrs. Solomon from high school. She was a wonderful person because she would give examples with learning how to interview for a job and listening to others without interruptions. What really helped was reminding me to keep eye contact with the person starting the conversation. When I was diagnosed, I had trouble with keeping eye contact with my family, teachers, and friends. If I never had speech therapy in the first place, I would still be having hard times with learning and understanding others. Speech therapy has helped me get through school without any problems and has made me a better learner, so that I could accomplish the goals I wanted to achieve. I had some struggles when I went to school because I never learned what the other students

Crossen 3 learned.Math continued to be hard for me when I was in middle school. When I hadmath in high school, I didnt struggle as much. Over the years, I had always said to myself that I was a normal person and did not have autism. My parents wouldnt believe me that I was an average person, but autistic. As a young teenager, I recalled seeing certain documents stating that I was autistic. Once I read the papers, I started to be angry at myself and my parents. I asked them, Why was I diagnosed with autism? My parents said that I had language and difficulty in reading comprehension. In my mind, I asked myself, Why did the diagnosis of autism come to me in the first place? I could not answer that question because I did not know what autism was. I remembered my mom told me about the measles, mumps, and rubella shot, which I got as an infant. Another thought was, Was the measles, mumps, and rubella shot responsible for making me an autistic person? My mom said that the vaccination didnt cause my autism. I also read that the vaccination was not responsible for causing autism. I thought to myself, I wished that I was never diagnosed with

autism because if I was not diagnosed, I would not have ahard time with learning or behaving properly at church. I just wanted to be a normal person like everyone else and one day learning to drive with no trouble. It was a real achievement for me when I made my first holy communion, and my confirmation. I felt that this was an accomplishment at the end my three years in middle school and the beginning four years in high school. I knew that learning how to drive was going to be hard. My dad would always say to me that I needed to learn how to drive, but I wanted to wait until I became familiar with the booklet, drove on the road in a safe manner, and knew not to be texting or driving drunk. In high school, I never learned how to drive because I had no time and I wanted to get all of my school work done. Along with that I was afraid to drive because I didnt know if autistic

Crossen 4 people had a hard time to understanding street signs, obeying the speed limits, and traffic lights. I have always kept my autism silent and not told any of my friends or other students. Throughout my years in high school, I was still an average person and I wanted to be that person with getting homework done, not screwing around like the other students who misbehaved with bad attitudes , and being late to class. I thought that high school would be really difficult, I had a hard time with geometry first semester, but second semester I did much better. I had come to be involved with school activities. For instance, I was in musical pit for two musicals, worked backstage with moving the sets, and performed in the Chamber Orchestra. Also I was like other students, attending the homecoming dances and prom. I never went with a boy because I was afraid to tell him that Im autistic. When my senior year came, I was able to go with someone. I attended Polaris Career Center the last two years of high school for culinary. I thought it was a good two years with students from different high schools. I thought all of my classmates were kind and my instructor was very kind. After two years ended, I had finally succeeded to achieve my goal to be a chef. I planned to continue culinary education at Cuyahoga Community College. I had succeeded twelve years of school when I graduated high school. The sense of graduation had given me a chance of success and triumph. I had beaten the odds of having autism get in the way of my learning and my dreams. As I write this memoir, I was never outspoken to anybody about my autism, but now I have broken my silence once and for all. The reason I broke my silence was when I remembered singer Nick Jonas was diagnosed with type-one diabetes at the age of thirteen. I thought that he was always been silent about diabetes, but now hes being open about it to his family and his fans. I view him as a role model for kids and teens that have this condition. Ive seen him on a

commercial for JDRF which is for juvenile diabetes research funding. When I see the

Crossen 5 commercial, it looks like he will not let diabetes interfere with his life. I feel that someday I want to tell people about my struggle with autism. I want my story to be an impact on others who were diagnosed, and change the mind of a person who doesnt think about other people who have a learning disability like autism. I feel sickened when non-disabled people treat autistics with disrespect and offend them as well. Someday, I will prove to others that people with autism can do anything without having any traces of autism affecting their work habits. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt had polio and was confined to a wheel chair. As President, he did his job exceedingly well while dealing with the Great Depression and winning the war against Germany, Italy, and Japan. Type -one diabetes, PDD-NOS, and polio are very different from each other, but theyre always considered a disability. A learning disability like autism has never stopped me from going to college, performing in a community orchestra like Symphony West or playing in a string quartet with friends. Reflecting on the past, I had come a long way from struggles to triumphs. Reflecting on how far I had come from being a troubled person to an exceptional woman was really emotional.People who hear my own words of being autistic will learn that autism just doesnt come and go; it will remain forever in that person. People diagnosed with autism may or may not have a wellintentioned future. An example would be Late Night talk show host Jay Leno, who was diagnosed with the same autism which I have. He turned out to be more successful than I thought was possible. Some with other forms of autism will continue to struggle for many people. I will always be forever an autistic person when I graduate college with an associates degree in culinary arts, open my own restaurant, get married to someone, have kids, grow old until the day I die. After Im gone, hopefully my voice on autism will continue to be heard from others.

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