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Ashley Pelaez Professor Payte English 114A 14 December 2013 Identity is Key to You

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When we as individuals choose not to make kind decisions in life, those decisions can shape oneself into a person one never expected to be. Not every day do people experience times where decisions have to be made such as determining which group to clique with or deciding on which major to label yourself next to on application but at some point in life they do. And when people do reach those moments in life where they find themselves falling out of place they cannot let times like these determine their future and therefor need to take control by making the right choices to find their true self. As teenagers reach adulthood, Self-control and a positive identity develop through struggle but are essential in life in order to make each day better for themselves and others. According to David Foster Wallace, the key to forming a satisfying identity is switching from a default setting to your own ways or patterns of doing things. Wallace states in his speech that the so called real world will not discourage you from operating on your default settings, because the so called real world of men and money and power hums merrily in a pool of fear and anger and frustration and craving and worship of self. This is a straight forward explanation of reality and how it can easily sway you from becoming someone different than the rest of society. He explains that we all our searching for our own identity in a world where people can easily pursue you and be persuaded. For example, I once was part of the bad crowd

Pelaez Page 2 as most people would call it and with that came problems. Problems I didnt want to be a part of and never intended to be a part of but just being friends with these certain people persuaded me to do things I now would never do. They would tell me how much fun they had going to all these events, and would bag on me for being the party-pooper. I only surrendered to them and their doings because if not they would do it without me and I still wanted to be included. It took me awhile to realize that this wasnt the person I wanted to be so I had to let go of my so called friends and deal with change in order to find my own identity and my own sense of belonging. Doing this wasnt easy but I couldnt find myself , I was lost and not in the right state of mind. Peer Pressure is a core reason to peoples actions. With peer pressure individuals become followers causing them to focus less on themselves and lose interest in building their own identity. Our mind creates the reasoning behind everything we do and without being aware of this we wont be capable of change in which we unnoticeably deal with daily. It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out, mentions Wallace. Your consciousness is what you need to have control over. If you have control over this you have control of what youre doing and the decisions youre making; these actions themselves will help you build your own identity. Its like choosing to go to a party or staying home to do homework. People will judge based on your decision but ultimately one is obvious than the other and just that one decision is an example of building your identity. It is crucial to be your own person, to do your own things so that you are proud of your name. George Saunders also gave advice to a graduating class and told a story about a girl named Ellen. Ellen and Saunders went to school together and he noticed that she would pick

Pelaez Page 3 her hair and eat it but it wasnt just him who noticed it. There were others who decided to bully her for it and just that unkindness made her move. This is important because Saunders knew he didnt want to be that bully and even though he never said an unkind word to her. he wished he did more to stop those bullies. This shows how identity is your choice. Your own choosing of what kind of person you want to be. The decisions you make now will dictate you as a person and your future. Some might disagree with the points I have made regarding the idea that self-identity is key to who you are and you want to be in the present and future. They might think that identity is just another form of ego or not important to ones-self but its more than that. Being able to stand tall and being capable of saying no to your friends is something to be proud of. Of course theres always times to be proud without doing those things. For example if youre a manager at McDonalds or a pledge from a fraternity the label is great to carry with you but youre not just a manager and youre not just a pledge; youre more than that. Identity is important no matter what your labeled as. Wallace and Saunders are both wonderful speakers who each gave speeches full of good advice to graduating students. They both emphasized that more self-awareness can help you decide which decision is right and which is wrong or even how more consciousness can affect yourself. By this I mean, while your mind is still building in a sense and youre still young, you have a chance to change. Not that Im saying this is your only chance but it will be better to find yourself now so you grow up with your own identity instead of waiting until youre one of the few who is still indistinct in this world.

Pelaez Page 4 I must say it will never be easy growing up in a world where people are all different yet still trying to be similar to one another to fit in but I cant say it enough when I say that its all based on our choices. We can choose to be kind or we can choose to be a bully. We can choose to be open-minded or stay on a default setting lifestyle. Ultimately its up to you. But just being your own human being isnt having your own identity. You cant let things or people get in the way of who you truly want to be. So when you wake up tomorrow think about this essay and remind yourself that identity is important. With identity youll be able to have a good self-esteem and life will be better in more aspects than you could dream of.

Pelaez Page 5 Works Cited Saunders, George, and Joel Lovell. George Saunderss Advice to Graduates. The 6th Floor George Saunderss Advice to Graduates Comments. The New York Times. 31 July 2013. Web. 01 Oct. 2013 Wallace, David F. Transcription of the 2005 Kenyon Commencement Address. N.p., 21 May 2005. Web. 1 Oct. 2013

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