Michael Londergan Argument 1A McGough November 14, 2013 Hooked on Facebook Social media.

. While it was designed to bring people closer together, it is instead tearing people apart. We live in a world where technology has reached a state where one can connect with virtually anybody else in the world. This has been made possible via the internet and phones that seem capable of anything. Countless websites such as Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and LinkedIn, have been able to bring people together and allow them to stay in touch, regardless their distance apart. Even though this great leap in technology may seem convenient and helpful, I write this article to expose its flaws. Communication through cell phones and social media is beginning to dominate face-to-face interaction. In todays society, it is becoming increasingly evident how the growing popularity of social media and the overuse of cell phones is slowly, but surely, affecting peoples lives and is negatively impacting existing relationships. The use of social media is becoming far too common. According to USA Today, there are almost one billion current users on Facebook (Fowlkes). This means that almost one out of every seven people on this planet possesses an online profile on this single website. Even though Facebook may allow some people to find and connect with old or current friends, it can be very stressful. Also, the time and effort spent talking to these friends while continuing to keep your own profile updated can be very time consuming. Many teenagers create profiles on multiple social media websites which has added another element of stress in their lives. Now, not only do they have to worry about school, sports, and other activities, but they also feel the obligation to constantly check and update statuses. Before the internet, the widely accepted form of messaging that did not involve face-to-face interaction was writing letters. This method of communication was neither very convenient nor speedy, but this was what made letter writing so much more meaningful. Today, the internet has become extremely accessible and diverse. In order to communicate with another person, all somebody has to do is press a few buttons and their friend will receive the sent message immediately. This new means of messaging is taking the meaningfulness out of the communication with people who are not standing in front of you. Next, the emotions that someone may use through texting or social media may not correctly portray the actual emotions of a person. According to mother Sharon Seline, after exchanging positive statements, smiley faces, and hearts with her daughter through text, her daughter attempted suicide (Tardanico). Her depression was invisible through her Facebook posts, tweets, and texting behavior. It is difficult to believe that messaging through texting and social media can ever effectively replace face-to-face contact as it does not always correctly depict ones emotions. In response to this disheartening story, studies have shown that only 7% of communication is based on written or verbal word while a whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language (Tardanico). When someone says Im okay or Im fine you can only know that they sincerely mean it when you can look into their eyes. Instead, our conversations have developed into abbreviations of conversation which may or may not be representative of what a person is really feeling. An example of how phones and social media are a large distraction is one of personal experience. Recently, while I was eating at a local restaurant, a rather young couple walked in and took a seat near my table. Shortly after sitting down, they both took out their cell phones and seemed to be immersed in their own cyber worlds. From what I saw, not a word was exchanged between the two until their food arrived and they started to eat. A healthy relationship is not one that must make

2 time for social media and similar distractions. Overall, the wasted time spent on social media and texting can interfere with ones personal life and relationships. This aforementioned personal experience occurs more often than it should. As a result, some people are starting to become what a BBC reporter refers to as screen slaves (Smartphone). Moreover, the overuse of smartphones may not only impact relationships but can put ones own health at risk. After discussing with many professors and managers at respected companies, the New York Times reported that the observed workers continuous use of smartphones resulted in lack of sleep and increased stress (Mohn). Adding to this, the chairwoman of the Chartered Society of Physiotherapy, Dr. Helena Johnson, has also reported the overuse of smart devices can lead to back and neck pain (Smartphone). So why place your own health at risk? You can potentially help yourself by simply putting the phone down. Not only does social media take time away from a person, but it is also blamed for ruining current relationships. According to surveys by DailyMail.co, attorneys have reported that one in five current divorces involve Facebook in some way (Gardner). Facebook is known to bring out jealousy in people, so it is not surprising that it plays such a significant role in relationships, especially with married couples. Furthermore, a study done of over 25,000 married couples by the University of Oxfords Internet Institute revealed that couples who communicate over five or more means of social media revealed a 14% decrease in marriage satisfaction (Borresen). Not that staying in touch with a significant other over social media will ruin a relationship, but adding more methods of speaking with a person can add unnecessary dimensions to a relationship. In the past, relationships between couples used to suffer because they did not talk enough; now, it seems as though no meaningful communication exists outside social media sites (Figure 1).

Figure 1 illustrates a comical obsession of a woman craving attention from her significant other over social media.
(Source: Ouch!)

Another unfortunate issue related to the use of social media is cyberbullying. Ponder this; is it not much easier to be rude or to start an argument with somebody online than in person? Its as easy as

3 typing a sentence and clicking the send button to create an all-out war online. According to a survey conducted by the corporate training firm VitalSmarts, one in five people have reduced their face-to-face contact with someone they know after an online fight (Reuters). In response to this data, co-chairman of the company VItalSmarts, Joseph Grenny, commented, The world has changed and a significant proportion of relationships happen online but manners haven't caught up with technology (Reuters). This statement is very true as his data has proven how peoples relationships online may dramatically affect them in person. Also, it is hard to believe that the manners and respect of people over social media will ever equal that of face-to-face contact. There is no doubt that technology will continue to advance in the future. Still, this does not mean that communication over social media and texting should ever replace face to face conversation. Also, however much it may seem that I am attempting to bash social media, it is more the users fault than the websites when it comes to relationships tainted over the internet. In Facebook Relationship Problems, Katherine Bindley asserts, Facebook itself isn't to blame for the demise of domestic bliss. Instead, it's an avenue by which threats can develop if you fail to communicate about them and one that can exacerbate problems that already exist. Once again, I do not mean to attack social media, but rather issue a warning. Social media should be used conservatively and as a means of connection and not obsession.

Works Cited
Bindley, Katherine. "Facebook Relationship Problems: How Social Networking and Jealousy Affect Your Love Life." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 09 Sept. 2011. Web. 18 Nov. 2013. Borresen, Kelsey. "Social Media Study Finds Link Between Media Use and Relationship Satisfaction." The Huffington Post. TheHuffingtonPost.com, 15 Apr. 2013. Web. 18 Nov. 2013. Fowlkes, Jasmine. "Opinion: Why Social Media Is Destroying Our Social Skills | USA TODAY College." Opinion: Why Social Media Is Destroying Our Social Skills | USA TODAY College. N.p., 11 Oct. 2012. Web. 18 Nov. 2013. Gardner, David. "The Marriage Killer: One in Five American Divorces Now Involve Facebook." Mail Online. N.p., 1 Dec. 2010. Web. 18 Nov. 2013. Mohn, Tanya. "Silencing the Smartphone." The New York Times. The New York Times, 31 Dec. 2012. Web. 15 Dec. 2013. Ouch! Digital image. BitSocialMedia.com. MidLifeRocksBlog, 30 Aug. 2011. Web. 18 Nov. 2013. Reuters. "People More Likely to Be Rude on Social Media; Affects Friendships in Real Life." NY Daily News. N.p., 10 Apr. 2013. Web. 18 Nov. 2013. "Smartphone Users 'risking Health' with Overuse of Devices." BBC News. BBC, 18 June 2012. Web. 15 Dec. 2013 Tardanico, Susan. "Is Social Media Sabotaging Real Communication?" Forbes. Forbes Magazine, 30 Apr. 2012. Web. 18 Nov. 2013.