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Dexter Pressley ENGL 1102 Final Reflection 5/7/2014

This semester has been a bit of a roller coaster, ending without a turn for the better with regard
to my schoolwork. My GPA has basically crashed, and thats influenced me as a writer in the sense that
what I put in this document and in this final portfolio is constructed in a way that would have otherwise
been avoided had I done differently throughout the semester. All actions lead down their perspective
paths, and as it would happen, my actions have lead me down the path to this sentence. To focus on the
writing now, as that is the subject of this essay, as it is called. Initially, lets talk about my strengths, as
a writer. Ive learned over the course of the semester that, as a writer, I can take on multiple
perspectives when writing, and I like that idea, because Im the type of guy that prides himself on the
ability to fabricate and construct entire biopics in my head of people who dont exist, only to
subsequently attempt to embody them through the language I imagine they might use. So, knowing now
that I can construct a given ghost, make them real through giving them a history that seems feasible,
and currently having the ability of giving them a voice; that concept is almost thrilling. Other strengths of
mine which have, I would say developed, over the course of the semester might include: the way in
which I structure my language, broken into word choice and placement; my poetic rhythm and flow; and
my newfound apathy toward predefined constructs surrounding written coursework. With my word
choice, Im particularly careful to use vocabulary which accurately defines what I aim to get across in
each statement. Though Im no longer attempting to become a minimalistic writer, I do choose to
assemble documents in ways I hadnt previously. An honest example of my word choice and structure as
a whole might be this document up to the current sentence. It almost seems forced to me, which is a
positive thing in my head, as Im attempting to force it. My poetic rhythm and flow has been impacted,
to the point where I actually know my own voice when writing now. I understand my flow, and can
repeat what I write how it sounds in my head with no issue. A prime example of this would be with my
counterpart poem, Garbage. I can say it out loud without tripping up. I feel it as I write it, and no poetry
that I produce comes out with any material in it that I cant reproduce vocally now. Though my current
flow might not be smooth by any means, its viable for me to vocalize it, which is improvement over my
previous poetic attempts, where I might cram too many syllables in a line and get stuck stumbling over
them to a given beat as theres simply an information overload present. My apathy toward coursework
is something I intend to exemplify with my understood concept and execution of the idea that I have the
ability to push the envelope with what I submit as a reasonable assignment submission. With this
portfolio, I practically took on the persona of some semi-psychotic scribbler jotting every note and
thought down. That was a conscious choice, because it pushes, in my head, the boundary of what
constitutes a portfolio as opposed to what constitutes, I might even say bare sanity. Its an explorative
playground of options that Ive presented to myself, and though a penalty is always a constant thread in
my head, I can attempt to ignore it until Im directly impacted by such a threat. In the most basic form,
Ive developed a moderate sense of being able to do what I want within limits that I, personally, set.
That concept gives me a positive feeling, so Im enjoying running with it for the moment.
To move into weaknesses as a writer, I suppose it should be said that I still honestly lack
confidence in my ability to produce a work that carries honest meaning to it. Certainly, I can do this and
that, fulfill assignment requirements, and so on. I dont believe, however, that much of what I do has
any value to it. Nobody pays me for what I write. The benefit I receive from writing comes in the form of
either a grade or whatever I choose to pull from my art. Thus, I give it value and a teacher gives it value.
I give a null value to my own work, even though I pride myself on some of it. So, I have to pull every bit
of what I appreciate about my documents from whatever a potentially subjective instructor might point
out to me. An additive note, I realize that my apathy toward grading can be a weakness in addition to a
Dexter Pressley ENGL 1102 Final Reflection 5/7/2014
strength, constantly flipping over the fence to both sides. With that being said, I also understand there
to be a weakness in that I do actually try to avoid positive grades in some instances. Alongside even that,
I sometimes will be fearful of a potential negative grade, and all of these factors influence how I act and
what I produce. In school, what I make is for school. Out of school is where I have a certain known
freedom to write that which is not for school. Thus, it has an entirely different voice to it. And this
changing voice is a weakness, as I feel that a certain element of intrinsic joy is removed from my work
when it is produced for an educator or the like. Im uncertain of how to work on this, but I feel as though
one option I might at least rule out is the fusion of my educational and non-educational voices. I think
taking either voice away completely throws away the concepts of quality and individualism.
What does writing mean to me? Writing is a tool for expression. That is the basis for the entire
archetype represented through writing. You can express what youre told to express in the case of an
assignment, or you can express yourself, on your own terms, in the event of any occasion. I aim for self-
expression more than anything else, Id like to think. Thats why Im giving this a tone of informality
through contractions and the like, even if the language I use here doesnt come close to what would be
used outside the walls of Microsoft Word. This barrier is broken at the level of software, which is an
amazing thing. If I were to go to Notepad, I would write in a completely different voice. Id use my poetic
mind, as Notepad is where I write my poetry more often than not. Notepad is actually where I typed
every bit of my website prior to copying it onto the pages of Weebly, as a matter of fact. Back to writing
and its meaning, I would like to quote a song, Ode to Sleep, saying, Some see a pen, I see a harpoon.
Its a modern representation of the timeless expression, The pen is mightier than the sword. The pen
is a weapon, the words the ammunition. The will to write is the man pulling the trigger, swinging the
sword, lunging the harpoon. A war is waged with weapons. Noting the prior alliteration because there is
a value in doing so, a war is ended with pens, through the signing of a treaty, such as not to be some
alienated brute destroying the opposing faction through force. I like to think of writing as civil, though it
has been known to bring some down in time through expression of loathing on paper.
Prior to this course, I wrote like a college freshman. Leaving this course, I write like a college
freshman. The power in that statement is clear, that I feel as though Ive not developed in the sense of
gaining a higher level of pure knowledge as a writer. However, there is a difference between each
state that I write in. Prior to this course, I wrote in the mindset of an individual who had long feared
what might happen in the event of self-expression. If you write crazily, you get sent to a psych ward. If
you write happily, people smile and wave. If you write like the Presidents speech writer, you become
the Presidents speech writer. Coming away from this course, Im now slightly less afraid to write what
I feel is right. Though I cant ever really be myself in writing, I can always blur the borders just a little
bit more with every line. And so, I plan to continue to do so where applicable.
My inquiry process, that is to my understanding, my investigatory process, is something along
the lines of a step-by-step system. Initially, I pose some question. Following this, I try to determine if
another question might yield better results for the task at hand. Once I find the best question, I pursue
research through Wikipedia, first and foremost, Google secondarily, and journal databases as a polishing
informant. I compile every bit of information, every voice, every side note, everything. I store all of that
in my head and paraphrase every last bit of it until its jumbled into my voice. Then, I spit it into the form
of a paper, citing where Im unsure of the boundary between plagiarism and my own ideas. I polish and
remove each thing which I believe has no purpose. A prime example of this can be found when in the
Problem Project from earlier in the semester, my group members and I decided to entirely scrap our
Dexter Pressley ENGL 1102 Final Reflection 5/7/2014
first draft of the project, to start entirely anew, because what we had was irrelevant, almost to the point
of being truly worthless, as it held no real viewpoint and thus, no real purpose.
What works with my process is the structure of the process itself. Its built well; the concepts
that I implement have the ability to be executed in an efficient manner which clears papers in nearly no
time at all. The constant issue when I write for educational purposes, however, is that I always
procrastinate. Considering examples make the world turn, I point no further than this very paper. Its
currently 11:56 PM on May 6
th
, and Im finishing this now because the entirety of the assignment is due
tomorrow at 11:00 AM, a time by which I wont be awake. Regarding what Ive gained from class with
respect to my process, Ive become more daring and comical with what I do. Normally, I wouldnt have
ever written that Shark story had I not been in this exact class. Having Matt, Alex, and Eric present to
coax me into acting irrationally was beneficial toward my writing in that way. Honestly, who takes time
to complete an assignment with an entire lie, especially one where the author claims to have eaten a
shark after catching it on a stormy night where they could manage to differentiate blood from water in
the middle of the dark? That takes balls and apathy. Now, to tackle to idea of what inquiry means within
an academic community, Im going to be realistic. In my unadulterated voice, the concept of inquiry has
no value in my eyes, as it has been presented through this course. Im not questioning the things that
might benefit me later in my life, or even now in my life. If I were to question the valid questions I have
in my life right now, I might come to agree with the idea that there is a valid use for inquiry as it is in
this class. Aside from that, though, I see no point to it, when what Im called upon to research is
irrelevant to anything of my honest concern.
Taking focus on my current goals, the comical aspect of the response might be to finish this
paper already. Aside from that, though, a goal I might say I have now that is related to writing, aside
from handwriting, which Ive not really improved upon all too much, might be for me to, perhaps, learn
new voices? I question whether thats a valid goal because Im unsure as to whether or not I might
pursue it any further. I might just drop all of this ideology after I start up class next semester. I cant
necessarily tell at the moment. If I had to make a goal, obviously forced, that I might be able to follow
through with, it would most likely be for me to simply expand my vocabulary. I use a lot of the same
terminology through all of my writing. Im stuck in a linguistic trap when I write certain fast-paced works
where my vocabulary doesnt permit me to make pivotal statements that have a comprehensible flow. I
think I would honestly like to improve on that, and I have opportunities to do so. An example of that, I
recently wrote something based on a new word I learned. The word being mendicant, heres what I
produced:
A mendicant bent, I'm a man that can't bend my will by whim, 'til I distill Him from all the false
songs, sifting right from wrong, shifting for too long, before which I'm gone, before we're all
gone, we'll keep going on, 'til rights have been wronged, and cycles brought on demand we
march on, away 'til we're gone.
Its intended to be quick and though some of it is highly repetitive, I find that it came together really well
for being an impulsive write.
To speak on technology and its relation to my literacy, I cant say much. I write my papers on a
computer as Ive done for ages. I avoided Mahara like the plague because its ugly like a leper (double
similes are an art). Ive always been technologically savvy. Ive known of the databases and whatnot, and
my knowledge of how they work has not improved since coming to college. I feel as though what is
Dexter Pressley ENGL 1102 Final Reflection 5/7/2014
desired of me is to give a positive review of how Im learning all of these new things in college, when
really it seems like a reformation of the same information we learned in high school with a better grade
scale, where one is graded on what they know, and not by who they know and how well they network
with teachers. To summate my opinion on technology and its influence on me as a literate individual, its
providing me the same constant tool Ive had for years to write slightly different material on slightly
different topics in the same MLA format with the same purposeless incentive of a grade point average,
yielding less learning and more stressing over an assignments due date, rather than the material that
could be grasped from really delving into that given assignment.
As a whole, and just so I get to 2500 words and past it, as thats a goal that popped in my head
when I finished the previous paragraph, I have enjoyed my time in class, but I think I would prefer a
structure of a course where one idea or maybe two are examined with extreme depth and given a lot
more weight, because I think thats how you honestly can truly learn about a subject, as opposed to silly
drafts and drafts and drafts with little to no improvement in place.

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