Joker Script

Dark Knight 2008

*Robbery Gone Stranger*

*Ah, no no no no no no, I kill the bus driver. (Moves to the right)

*I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you… stranger. (Smiles)

*Kill the Batman*

*Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ho he he aha ha ho he ha aha, and I

thought my jokes were bad?
*How ‘bout a magic trick? (Pencil in table) I’m going to make this pencil disappear!
(Sits) Ta-daa!! It’s… ma… it’s gone! Oh and by the way the suit wasn’t cheap you
oughta know you bought it.
*Let’s wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldn’t dare cross any
of you. I mean what happened? Did... did your balls drop off. Hmm? You... you see a
guy like me.
*A guy like me, look, listen, I know why you choose to have your.. little (Cough)
group therapy sessions in broad daylight. I know why you’re afraid to go out at
night. The batman. See batman has shown Gotham your true colors unfortunately.
Dent he’s just the beginning. And.. and as for the, ah televisions so called plan.
Batman has no jurisdiction. He’ll find him and make him squeal. I know the
squealers when I see them and….. (Points)
*It’s simple we uh kill the batman.
*If you’re good at something never do it for free.
*Uh… half.
*I’m not. No I’m not. If we don’t deal with this now soon… little, ah, Gambol here
won’t be able to get a, a nickel for his grandma.
*Ah, ta-ta-ta, let’s not blow… this out of proportion.
*Yeah.
*Alright so listen why don’t you give me a call when you want to start taking things
a little more seriously, here’s.. my.. card. (Walks out)

*Why So Serious?*

*How ‘bout alive? Hmm? Y wanna know how I got these scars? My father was, a
drinker and a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the
kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn’t like that not.. one.. bit.. So, me watching
he takes the knife to her laughing while he does it. He turns to me, eh, and he says,
“Why so serious?!” He comes at me with the knife, “Why so serious?!” He sticks the
blade in my mouth, “Let’s put a smile on that face!” And….. “Why so serious?”
Now… our operation is small but there is a lot of potential for aggressive expansion.
So which of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh there’s only one
spot open right now so we’re gonna have try-outs. Make it fast.

*Men of their Word*

*Tell them your name?

*Are you the real batman?
*No! No! (Laughs) Then why do you dress up like him? (Takes off mask laughing)
*Yeah.
*Yeah you do Brian. You really do! Huh?! Yeah, oh sh sh sh sh shh. So you think
batman’s made Gotham a better place? Hmm?! Look at me. LOOK AT ME! You see
this is how crazy batman’s made Gotham. You want order in Gotham, batman must
take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh and every day he doesn’t people will die.
Starting tonight. I’m a man of my word.

*Hero with a Face*

*(Laugh)

*Tonight’s Entertainment*

*We made it!

*Good evening ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight’s entertainment. I only have
one question. Where is Harvey Dent? Do you know where Harvey is? Do you know
who he is?
*Do you know where I can find Harvey? I need to talk to him about something, just
something, little, huh? No.
*You know I’ll settle for his loved ones.
*You know….. you remind me of my father. I hated my father!
*Well hello beautiful. You must be Harvey’s squeeze. Hmm? And you are beautiful.
Well you look nervous. Is it the scars? You wanna know how I got ‘em? Come here,
hey, look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful like you. Who tells me… I worry too much.
Who tells me I oughta smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks.
Hey, one day they carve her face. Only we have no money for surgeries. She can’t
take it. I just want to see her smile again. Hmm? I just want her to know that I don’t
care about the scars. So, I stick a razor in my mouth and do this….. to myself. And
you know what? She can’t stand the sight of me! She leaves, now I see the funny
side. Now I’m always smiling. (Laughs) A little fight in you, I like that.
*Oh, sure, you just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are.
Hmm?! (Laugh)
*Very poor choice of words. (Laughs)

*Watch the World Burn*

*8th and Orchard, you’ll find Harvey Dent there.

*Trip to County*

*Hmm?

*Bat-pod Faceoff*

*Harvey Harvey Harvey Dent. Oh, excuse me, I wanna drive.

*Har de har har har.
*I like this job, I like it!
*Okay, rack ‘em up, rack ‘em up, rack ‘em up, rack ‘em up!
*(Laughs) Woo ha haa ha haa!
*(Laugh held back)
*Now there’s a batman. Oh you wanna play? Come on. Come on.
*Oah….. Come on, come on, come on. Come on, come on, I want you to do it, I want
you to do it, come on! Come on, come on, come on, I want you to do it, I want you
to do it, come on, hit me, hit me, hit me, come on hit me! HIT ME!

*We Got Him*

*Da um, da um da um. (Laughs)Woo ha ha haa! (Weird Noises and spits) Come on.
Yaaaaarrgh! Can you please just give me a minute!
*(Clap wildly)

*Good Cop, Bad Cop*

*Evening commissioner.
*Of course not.
*Me?! I was right here. Who did you leave him with? Hmm? Your people? Assuming
of course they are still your people and not Maroney’s. Does it depress you
commissioner to know just how alone you really are? Does it make you feel
responsible for Harvey Dent’s current predicament?
*What’s the time?
*Well depending on the time he may be in one spot or several.
*Hmm…
*Ah the good cop bad cop routine?
*Never start with the head the victim gets all fuzzy he can’t feel the neck….. See?
*I wanted to see what you’d do and you didn’t disappoint. You let five people die.
Then you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me that’s cold.
*Those mob fools want you gone so they could get back to the way things were. But
I know the truth there’s no going back you’ve changed things, forever.
*(Laughs) I don’t… I don’t want to kill you! What would I do without you! Go back to
ripping off mob dealers? No, no, no, no, you, you complete me!
*Don’t talk like one of them you’re not! Even if you’d like to be. To them you’re just
a freak like me. They need you right now. When they don’t they’ll cast you out like a
leper. See their morals, their code, it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of
trouble. They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you, when
the chips are down these, ah, these civilized people they’ll eat each other. See I’m
not a monster. I’m just ahead of the curve.
*You have all these rules and you think they’ll save you.
*Oh, then that’s the rule you’ll have to break to know the truth.
*The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules and tonight you’re gonna
break your one rule.
*Well there’s only minutes left so you’re gonna have to play my little game if you
wanna save one of them.
*You know for a while there I thought you really were Dent the way you threw
yourself after her. (Begins to laugh) (Laugh) Ooh, woo, ha ha ha! Look at you go!
Does Harvey know about you and his little boney?!
*Killing me isn’t making a choice.
*It was between one life or the other. Your friend the District Attorney or his bushing
bride to be? (Laughs) Woo, woo, ha ha ha ha ha ha! You have nothing! Nothing to
threaten me with! Nothing to do with all your strength. Don’t worry, I’m going to tell
you where they are! Both of ‘em and that’s the point, you’ll have to choose. He’s at
25052nd street and she’s a.. on Evan Wax at Secirow.

*Two-way Race*

*I want… my phone call. I want it… I want it. I want my phone call.
*How many of your friends have I killed?
*(Mouths six in amazement)
*Do you wanna know… why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can’t savor all
the, little, emotions. An.. you see, in their last moments people show you who they
really are. So in a way I knew your friends better than you ever did. Would you like
to know which of them were cowards?

*Burned Down*

*What?
*Sorry?
*I just want my phone call.
*Hey. Oh sh sh shh.
*Hello there.

*Better Class of Criminal*

*I told you I’m a man of my word. Where’s the Italian?

*You see I’m a guy of simple taste. I enjoy ah… dynamite and gun powder… and
gasoline!
*Ah-ta-ta-ta. And you know the thing that they have in common? They’re cheap.
*Oh I am. I’m only burning my half. All you care about is money. This town deserves
a better class of criminal… and I’m gonna give it to ‘em. Tell your men they work for
me now, this is my city.
*Why don’t we cut you up into little pieces and feed you to your pooches? Hmm?
And then we’ll see how loyal a hungry dog really is. It’s not about the money… it’s
about sending a message. Everything burns!
*I had a vision of a world without batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the
police tried to shut them down one block at a time. And it was so… boring. I’ve had
a change of heart. I don’t want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have
all the fun? Let’s give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn’t dead in sixty
minutes then I blow up a hospital.

*Agent of Chaos*

*Ca-dinka-dinka-dinka-dink. Da li la li la di um. Hi. You know… I don’t want there to

be any hard feelings between us Harvey. When you and… ah Ra…
*Rachael were being abducted. I was sitting in Gordon’s cage. You know I… I didn’t
read those charges.
*Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars.
I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it! You know, I just… do things. The
mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon’s got plans. You know they’re
schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to
show the schemers how pathetic… their attempts to control things really are. So…
when I say ah, come here, when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing
personal. You’ll know that I’m telling the truth.
*It’s the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had
plans… and ah, look where that got you.
*I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I
did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmm? You know
what… you know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan.
Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that like ah, gang banger
will get shot or a truck load of soldiers will be blown up. Nobody panics. Because it’s
all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die. Well then
everyone loses their minds! Introduce a little anarchy! Upset the established order
and everything becomes chaos. I’m an agent of chaos. Oh and you know the thing
about chaos? It’s there.
*Hmm huh.
*Hmm… now we’re talking.

*Hospital Boom*

*Bench…
*Game… (Laugh held)
*Mine…
*Rule…
*Get…
*Now…
*(Laugh held)

*Ferry Scary*

*(Clear throat) Tonight your all gonna be a part of a social experiment.

*You’ll imagine the diesel fuel and ammonium nitrate. I’m ready right now to blow
you all sky high.
*Anyone attempts to get off their boat, you all die.
*Each of you has a remote to blow up the other boat.
*At midnight I blow you all up. If however one of you presses the button I’ll let that
boat live. So… who’s it gonna be? Harvey Dent’s most wanted scumbag collection
or the sweet and innocent civilians? You choose. Oh… and you might want to decide
quickly because the people on the other boat may not be quite so noble.

*Verge of Fireworks*

*Oh you made it, I’m so thrilled!

*Go get him! AAAHHH!
*All the old familiar places!
*We really should stop this fighting or otherwise we’ll miss the fireworks.
*And here we… go!

*Battle for Gotham’s Soul*

*Can’t rely on anyone these days you gotta do everything yourself, don’t we! That’s
okay I came prepared. It’s a funny world we live in. Speaking of which do you know
how I got these scars?
*(Laugh) Woo woo ha ha ha ha! You… you just couldn’t let me go could you? This is
what happens when an unstoppable force… meets… an immovable object. You…
truly are incorruptible aren’t you? Huh? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced
sense of self-righteousness and I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I
think you and I are destined to do this forever.
*Maybe we could share one? You know they’ll be doubling up the rate this city’s
inhabitants are losing their minds.
*Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey
Dent. Huh? And all the heroic things he’s done. You didn’t think I’d risk losing the
battle for Gotham’s soul in a fist fight with you. No… you need an ace in the hole.
Mine’s Harvey.
*I took Gotham’s white knight and I… brought him down to our level. It wasn’t hard,
see madness as you know is… like gravity. All it takes is a little push. (Laugh)