Binding the Generations

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By Elizabeth Perkins

When my first granddaughter, Elizabeth, was

According to the American

first grandchild, held her up above his

Grandparents Association, there are 70

shoulder and announced, I am Queen

million grandparents in our country,

Elizabeth, and you are all my subjects!

and 1.7 million new grandparents are

We were absolutely smitten. Becoming

added to this number each year. The

a grandparent is one of the most

relationship between grandparents and

amazing experiences of life. It is an

grandchildren can be warm and generous.

opportunity to have meaningful relationships

It is a unique bond. In their book

with grandchildren, give and receive

unconditional love, and develop
strength and connection within the
generations of the family. Family
association with grandparents is
valuable because of the unique,
relational benefits that the younger
generation experiences, the rewards

Grandparents/ Grandchildren, the Vital Connection,

psychiatrist and author Arthur Kornhaber
and K. Woodward explain,
This is because grandparents, no matter
what they were like as parents, are
exempt from the emotional intensity
that characterizes parent-child
relationships. Therefore, grandparents and

that grandparents gain, and ultimately

grandchildren are naturally at ease with each

the renewal that occurs in the total

other while both may have intense emotional

family unit.

relationships with the middle generation.

GRANDPARENTS MAGAZINE NOV 2014 1

Perkins, Elizabeth. Brigham. 2011. Two cousins with grandpa. 2003. JPEG file.

born, the doctor, knowing she was the

Benefits for Grandparents

Grandparents can also enjoy a renewed

enrich their lives and return unexpected benefits of

interest in life through associations with their

healing, and a new sense of purpose and life.

grandchildren. Some of these older adults have

A loving relationship with a grandparent can

rekindled their efforts to keep abreast of current

provide many benefits and much stability for a

events, politics, and sports in order to converse with

grandchild. This connection can cultivate eagerness

their grandchildren. One grandfather has learned

to learn new things, encourage an understanding of

how to use current technology to be able to interact

the past, and inspire confidence in the mind of a

with his grandchildren who live in different states.

grandchild.

He said they use Skype, Facetime, texting, Google

skills that might be different from the childs parents.

Hangout, and emails. He now has a tradition of

starting stories through the use of email.
They write back and forth, with each adding

Grandparents often have interests, ideas, or

Children who know a lot about their families face

challenges with a stronger self-esteem and sense

to the story until they decide it is finished

and start another one. In her article,
Family Resource in an Era of Voluntary

of control over their lives. They have the strength

of an . . . intergenerational self.

Bonds, Dr. Barranti, a professor at

California State University, writes that grandparents
relationships within the family are reassuring and
create a cushion of support which can absorb family
pressures, diffuse social stresses and provide
assistance.
Benefits for Grandchildren
When grandparents are more involved in the
families of their children, their shared experiences

Some grandchildren learn to make bread, polish

rocks, fish, hunt, identify constellations, and
build fences. The older generation has a wealth of
knowledge and experience that can be very exciting
for children, and they often have time to share this
knowledge. Sharing these activities develops a close
bond between them.
By sharing family history and stories of
their lives, grandparents can teach helpful life skills
GRANDPARENTS MAGAZINE NOV 2014 2

and attitudes. Family history and cultural knowledge

knowledge with grandchildren instills a sense of

help children to understand where their place is in

selflessness in the grandparents that forms bonds.

their world. Kornhaber and Woodward said this

Rachel Pic stated that it also create[s] a bridge for

connection that reaches across the generations gives

children to move between life at home with their

a child a cultural and historical sense of self. Bruce

parents and the outside world.

Feiler, a writer for the New York Times wrote,

There is great strength and value in a united

Children who know a lot about their families face

extended family. Through their interest, love, and

challenges with a stronger self-esteem and sense of

service, grandparents can become a bridge to the

control over their lives. This knowledge gives a

past, present, and future for younger generations,

child a sense of being part of something larger than

giving a sense of security, aiding in ego development

themselves. They have the strength of . . . an

and offering a vision of the future.

intergenerational self. Rachel Pic, writing for

Understanding Childhood said, Through their
relationship with their grandparents, children can
feel another level of support and care . . . . [and they]
are likely to do better at school.
With the involvement of grandparents,
grandchildren develop more interest in cultivating
new skills and knowledge, learning wisdom from
history and culture, and growing in self-confidence.
Relationships between generational family
members will have a positive contribution to

Perkins, Mark. On the way to Carlsbad.2008. JPEG file.

everyone involved. By serving and loving one

another, the entire family relationship becomes more
unified and enriched. Sharing time, experience, and
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