Tendler 1

Hutton Tendler
John Kubler
English 114A
25 October 2014
Gender Similarities: My View on Men and Women
Men and women are commonly placed into stereotypes, separating the two genders,
almost as if they are different species. We are taught that men are dominant figures, while
women are the nurturing, motherly type. In the last few decades, I think these standards have
changed dramatically. What we always knew or thought to be true about characteristics of each
gender is not always the case in this day and age. I believe men and women are actually very
similar. This has been proven through studies of physical and athletic abilities, intellectual and
academic abilities, violence and domestic abuse cases, emotional and communicational patterns,
and even sexual drives or desires between couples.
In the past, males always had the upper-hand. Women have been working to gain rights
and become equal to men for decades. Females are now struggling to become equal with males
in physical strength and capabilities. They have recently gained rights to fight in combat infantry
alongside the men. This law will take place on January 1, 2016. Eleanor Clift, an American
liberal political reporter, wrote an article entitled, Women Get to Fight, as Leon Panetta
Changes Combat Rule. She concludes her article by clarifying, Women have proved
themselves on the battlefield, and if lifting the ban on their role in combat proves as noncontroversial as its many advocates believe, the world has indeed taken another turn for the
better (1). This evidence shows that women have already proven they are willing and capable of
fighting in combat infantry and that it can only improve our countries forces. While women are

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gaining more rights, men are learning to compromise and accept their new found comrades. By
understanding the concept that men and women are more alike than different, we can begin to
find equality between the two genders.
Another stereotypical idea is that men are academically more advanced than women. I
think that everyones brains function differently, we all have our own niche. Chris Tachibana has
a Ph. D in molecular biology and is an experienced science writer and editor, her article entitled,
Probing Question: Are Boys Really Better at Math than Girls? examines young boys and girls
to understand the brains functions academically. She reports, Neuroscience research, including
MRI studies of male and female brains, suggests that brain functionalong with related
hormonal differencescreates a tendency for males to have better spatial thinking skills, and
females to be stronger in some realms of verbal expression(1). I find this evidence to be
substantial because it shows that neither gender is smarter than the other. It only proves that we
are all advanced in different areas.
I for one am exceptionally advanced in mathematics, while my brother is particularly
advanced in English and spelling. Furthermore, in my mathematics class, myself and another
female are the most advanced in the class this semester. If we were not subjected to stereotypical
suggestion, this idea that men are smarter than women would not exist, and it should not. If both
genders could understand that we are all advanced at different levels academically, then we
could make room for more equality in school and in work places. From personal experiences and
with statistical evidence, it is not true that men are more advanced than women.
Previously, Ive discussed how women fight for their rights for equality. Although, they
arent the only ones working to gain equality. Men are always looked upon as perpetrators and
for having the bad guy persona. Recently studies have shown that violence and domestic

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disputes between both genders are changing dramatically and that men arent always to blame
for the unfortunate events. Murray A. Straus, Founder and Co. director of the Family Research
Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, and Katreena Scott, an associate professor in
the Department of Human Development and Applied Psychology at the University of Toronto,
wrote a document entitled, Gender Symmetry in Partner Violence: The Evidence, the Denial,
and the Implications for Primary Prevention and Treatment. Their studies show that men and
women are equally violent in the average of tested relationships. They claim, Several studies,
including large and nationally representative samples, have found that the most prevalent pattern
is mutual violence, and that female-only violence is as prevalent as, or more prevalent than,
male-only violence (4). This statement represents the mutual disputes between both genders and
shows that men are not the only ones to cause domestic disturbances. This evidence further
proves that men and women are not so different after all.
Men and women are also believed to be emotionally and communicably different. Julia T.
Wood wrote an article entitled, A Critical Response to John Grays Mars and Venus Portrayal
of Men and Women. She disagrees with Grays views due to his lack of credibility. John Gray,
the leading relationship expert in the world, wrote a series of books entitled, Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus, in which he discusses how different men and women are and how to
deal with it. Wood states, According to Gray, men need to go into their caves when they have
problems. For Gray, the cave is a metaphor for mens alleged desire to be alone to think things
through and work out their problems autonomously. (205). Wood also discusses one of Caryl E.
Rusbults books from 1987. Rusbult is a professor and chair of the Department of Social and
Organizational Psychology at Vrije University in Amsterdam. Julia T. Wood explains, Rusbult
reports that women are more likely than men to forgo talking about problems and to try to assure

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themselves that the problems somehow will be resolved. (205). Wood argues with these authors
by saying, It seems that women sometimes reflect quietly and in solitude about problems as a
means of dealing with them. This kind of retreat is synonymous with talking about problems; in
fact, it suggests that women sometimes go into caves of their own (205). ). This statement
shows that with hard evidence from both Gray and Rusbults results, that men and women can be
different, but they are also very alike. Men tend to isolate themselves while women try to talk
about an issue. In reality, we arent so different after all; women tend to isolate themselves, while
men try to do the communicating. It is important to understand that both males and females react
similarly in communication instances.
We are taught that men and women are very different when it comes to sexuality. This
can be true, but I think that men and woman are similar when it comes to sexuality and being
provocative. In Jerry Maguire, directed by Cameron Crowe, Maguire is a wealthy sports agent.
While having sexual intercourse, his fianc Avery says, If you ever want me to be with another
woman for you, I would do it. I'm not interested in it.... but if you ever feel like being
adventurous in that way, I would do it for you. Avery states that she would do anything to be
with Maguire, even if that meant doing something that she doesnt care to do. This shows how
Avery uses her sexuality to gain power in their relationship. Her comments tell the viewer that
she has the upper-hand in the relationship because she can keep Jerry wrapped around her finger
by using her sexuality.
In the movie, Crazy, Stupid, Love, Jacob is a ladies man. He goes to the same bar every
night and takes home incredibly gorgeous women every time. Jacob dresses very sharp, he
always looks very classy and he is a good looking guy. He uses his looks and attire for
confidence and is able to hit on any woman he encounters. He has a specific game, he buys the

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woman a drink, lets her talk about herself, and ends up taking her home by the end of the night.
One night while hitting on a woman, Jacob tells her, Listen, I'm going to be honest: it's getting
late and I think you're interesting. I also think you're one of those rare women who manages to be
both wildly sexy and incredibly cute all at once. I find this to be significant because Jacob is
able to take her home with just a simple pick up line. He easily persuades the woman with his
looks and witty comments. It is clear to see that between both movies, men and women can be
equally provocative to their advantage.
Despite what we have been taught, men and women are not so different after all. In 2016
we will be accepting woman to fight in the military in combat infantry because they have proven
to be as physically capable as men. It would also help our society economically. By allowing
women to fight in the military in combat infantry, we are able to have more help in defending
our country. Men and women are not so different academically, although we may be advanced
in different areas, it does not mean that one gender is more advanced than another. This
understanding, would ultimately help young children to be themselves and to excel in whatever
they choose to, rather than what they are told to. Studies have shown that domestic disturbances
are not only the stereotypical males fault and that an average of couples are found to be mutually
responsible. This is important because it shows that we are more alike than different. By
realizing this, not all men would be blamed for these unfortunate events. Furthermore, we have
learned that men and women communicate very differently but Julia T. Wood explains with
substantial evidence that men and women actually behave very similarly when trying to cope
with issues in the relationship. Lastly, men and women are no different when it comes to
sexuality. In Jerry Maguire and Crazy, Stupid, Love, both genders are able to seduce the other
simply with their clothing or lack there-of, and with their charming remarks. This shows that

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both genders can manipulate the other, which allows for mutual promiscuity. Statistics show that
men and women are very similar, we are just brought up to believe something that is not evident.
This is significant because it can help society. By understanding how similar both genders are,
we can come together to understand one another.

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Works Cited
Clift, Eleanor. Women Get to Fight, as Leon Panetta Changes Combat Rule. The Daily Beast
Company LLC. 24 January 2013. Web. 27 October 2014.
Tachibana, Chris. Probing Question: Are Boys Really Better at Math than Girls? The
Pennsylvania State University. 18 May 2014. Web. 27 October 2014.
Strauss, Murray A. Scott, Katreena. Gender Symmetry in Partner Violence: The Evidence, the
Denial, and the Implications for Primary Prevention and Treatment. 18 April 2007
Wood, Julia T. A Critical Response to John Grays Mars and Venus Portrayal of Men and
Women. 1 April 2009.
Ficarra, Glenn. Requa, John, dir. Crazy, Stupid, Love. Carousel Productions (II), 2011. Film.
Crowe, Cameron, dir. Jerry Maguire. TriStar Pictures, Gracie Films. 1996. Film.