Reading and writing can be learned in different ways, depending on the people,

the culture of the place these people live and the incentives they have. I am able to

Commented [AA1]: That these people live in

remember when I was learning both how to read and write.

I was born in Brazil and when I was a little kid, around two or three years, I can
remember, though restrict memories, getting some children`s books and trying to figure
out what the author would like to say. Despite the fact there were some simple

Commented [AA2]: The fact that there

expressions, it was impossible to me to decode what that set of letters would like to say.
The why is because at that point I still had not a background in reading. Then, at that

Commented [AA3]: Had not had

moment the pictures were the mainly things I really cared. So that, all my happiness was

Commented [AA4]: main

Commented [AA5]: cared of

reflected as much color as the book could provide to me.

A little older, between three and four years old, during the school time, the books
began to make more sense to me. My curious was not only focused on pictures anymore.

Commented [AA6]: noun= curiosity

At that point, the alphabetic was my fascination as well. I think that the funny way it was
introduced helped me to discover the new world of the words. My mission was to put the
finger in a pot of paint in order to follow the format of the letters. In fact, it was really
nice, because I could join my love for colors/paints with something new for me, the
writing. This moment, in my early life, was so important in my literacy formation,
because I could understand that literacy was not only pictures, but also letters, which
when put together could express whatever we want.
My childhood really was a phase of new discoveries for me as it was supposed to
be. I learned to write, or better, to join the letters at age five, or around it. My cousin and
I studied in the same school, in the same class. Then, we had the same obligations and
homework. As my school was located so far from my home, almost every day my aunt,

Commented [AA7]: Good way of explaining

mother of this cousin, was the person responsible to pick us up at the end time of the
classes. In addition, my parents had a bakery which made them very busy in the most part

Commented [AA8]: Bakery that

of the day. Then, this was the reason for what I usually spent a lot of hours in my aunt`s
house, while waiting for my parents to pick me up. Therefore, during this range of time,
my cousin and I, after having lunch, usually went to the table to do our homework. And it
was so funny, because the fact that after doing it, we could sit on the floor to try to read a
popular kid magazine in Brazil called `A Turma da Monica`, which is a collection of
books that shows the way for which different kids face their own life. Thus, at that point,
we could eventually put in practice more effectively what we were learning in the school.
Despite the fact that my parents were so busy, they always tried to help me to
improve my knowledge. At home, in the shelve, there were a lot of books I really liked.
Others than `A Turma da Monica` were `Ze Carioca`, `Sitio do Pica Pau Amarelo` and
American heroes as well, such as `Spiderman`. Then, my childhood was, in my point of
view, immerged in the both real and fantasy histories that these books could provide to
me. Moreover, I could improve my writing and reading faster than my little classmates,
for instance.
When I was turning older, obviously my preferences were changing as well. At age
10, the famous history of `Harry Potter` was something that fascinated me a lot. So that, I
even began to read the collection of books but unfortunately I never finished them up,
because, as the history extend until 2013, I really lost all that initial interest I had, when I
was a little boy. Also, all my efforts, during youth were focused on study the school
material to be approved in the university in Brazil.
Many people might say this should not be a reason to kind of give up all the other

Commented [AA9]: Getting seems a better word

things in order to get an approval for the college, once I could eventually be engaged in
both. However, in Brazil, it is not so easy to get into the university. In there, the
education is very different from the American`s. For instance, all the best schools for
students in the range between 3 and 17 years are paid. On the other hand, the best
universities are public/free. Then, for been accepted in this type of college, the students,

Commented [AA10]: being

after the last year in the school, must take a kind of big exam, called `vestibular`.
The idea of the `vestibular` is to test all the knowledge that the students eventually
gained during all their academic years. Thus, this phase in the Brazilian student life is so
stressful and laborious, because even before taking the exam, we have to choose the
specific course we would like to take. After that, in the big exam, the questions are
usually so complex as well as very long in the way that if you do not have a good
background in reading, you lose a lot of time trying to figure out what is being required.
However, the big issue is not mathematics, chemical or even physics. It is called

Commented [AA11]: chemistry

composing, which leads a lot of people to get a bad grade and as result do not get the
permission to take the course which was previously chose.

Commented [AA12]: Very good paragraph and I was

able to imagine how the exam looked like.

The composing, in Brazil, is really very complicated, even for those people that
like to read and write. In my attempt, the theme of the exam was kind of easy, because I
had to write about something I had a good knowledge: the way that Brazilian drivers

Commented [AA13]: good knowledge of

conduct a car over alcohol effect and what I, as a judge or other officer person, could
suggest to add in the Brazilian constitution to punish these king of drivers. Then, in that
case I realized how important my background in reading, at that time much more internet
than the books, was important. I finally was approved, but the academic life in the
university has not been easy as well.

Commented [AA14]: I think the phrases must be

rewritten here.

In the college, majoring Electrical Engineering, the focus has been, obviously, the
scientific language. I have to admit that after some years immerged in this world, I feel
myself not capable anymore to write as well as I did in the past. I say this, because
sometimes I sit in my table to write and when I am done I usually do not like even 50%
what I just written. However, even not being as good as I was in the past, regarding the
way I can write in own language, I can feel that nowadays I am better in English. The
reason is because almost every good text or book that are written for engineering, are in
English.

I believe that your writing is much better than what you assumed. Your main ideas were
clear and well explained. You used very good methods to transit from one paragraph to
another. You also have included good amount of vocabularies. However, I think you need
to focus on distinguishing between the nouns and adjectives. I also think that some of the
adjective clauses that you wrote were missing some transitional tools such as which
and that. After all, I really enjoyed the whole piece that you wrote, but I also believe
that you will do much better in the second draft.

Commented [AA15]: was