Chauhan&1&

Priya Chauhan
TA Zack de Piero
Writing 2: MW 3-4:50
May 6, 2015
Advertising Articles and Their Moves
Michael Jackson, also known as the king of pop, was known for many iconic dance
moves. One especially caught the attention of people all over the world; this particular move was
titled the moon-walk. Everywhere people went in the 1980s, they would see the moonwalk
on display by neighborhood kids or MTV; they all knew it was Jacksons doing. Just like
Jackson was known for his signature style, writers also create their own style on paper. Moves
are prevalent in every piece of writing one reads. In advertising articles, writers utilize
techniques, such as italics, rhetorical questions, sentence variations, quotes from others, and
jargon to create their own voice within their writing; using these methods, they are able to keep
the reader more engaged in the piece and make the article more effective. Some agree with the
statement that, Arguments can be supported by evidence you gather through experiments
(Lunsford 402); what Lunsford fails to point out is that not only does one need evidence but the
evidence must also be presented in an effective way. Three different advertising articles
implement moves about advertising to proclaim which particular marketing technique has the
best results; of the three articles, the most effectivein terms of moves and effectivenessis
the non-scholarly article.
The first advertising article, Does She Have to Be Thin? Testing the Effects of Models
Body Sizes on Advertising Effectiveness, by Steve H. Sohn and others, was published in a
scientific journal. This article is about how the use of a thin models in advertising, was not more

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:02 PM

Comment [1]: Nice&move&from&MJ&to&
writers.&&However,&since&I&dont&think&your&
paper&is&ultimately&about&dancing/pop&stars,&
Im&wondering&if&this&opening&example&is&
going&to&be,&ultimately,&distracting.&
&
Any&way&to&find&a&similar(ly&widely&known)&
example&of&someone/somethings&moves&
in&the&advertising&world&&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:03 PM
Comment [2]: Whats&some&referring&to&
here?&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:04 PM
Comment [3]: nice&connection!&&Way&to&
build&off&the&quote,&Preeya.&(See:&doesnt&feel&
too&good.&&!)&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:06 PM
Comment [4]: OK,&re:&the&thesis&
statement&
&
most&effective&based&on&what,&exactly?&&I&
want&more&specificity&here.&&
&
Also,&what&fields/disciplines&are&the&two&
scholarly&articles&from?&&Is&that&worth&
introducing?&&(I&think&so)&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:07 PM
Comment [5]: Although&this&topic&
sentence&gives&me&directionthis&
paragraph&will&be&about&the&first&article
Im&not&sure&what,&exactly,&to&expect&within&
the&paragraph.&&Id&also&like&to&know&how&it&
pertains&to&your&argument.&&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:07 PM
Comment [6]: Try&to&find&a&more&
scholarly&way&of&phrasing&this.&&Is&about&
is&pretty&casual.&

Chauhan&2&
effective than using averaged-bodied models [because] average-sized models generated more
positive brand attitude (Sohn 164). Due to many more people becoming aware of body image,
this study has a broad audience. For example, psychologists who specialize in body image would
be interested in this; many have been working for years to achieve a break-through to promote
comfort in ones own body. Also, another audience would be marketers. Marketers are always

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:07 PM

Comment [7]: Nice.&

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:08 PM

Comment [8]: It&does?&&Lots&of&people&DO&
read&this,&or&lots&of&people&COULD&read&this?&
&
Also,&is&this&from&the&psych&field?&&&

trying to expand products to many more people; body image and creating a positive connotation
with their brand can achieve this. This was the least effective article because the moves, such as
quotes, sentence variation, and italics, did not help them make an effective case.
To illustrate their purpose in the beginning of the article, the authors pulled a quote from
another article named No Longer just a Pretty Face: Fashion Magazines Depictions of Ideal
Female Beauty. The article stated, Female beauty seems to have changed from one espousing
the importance of a pretty face to one that additionally emphasized an extremely thin figure
(Speyak 344). This quote gives the importance of what beauty has to do with modeling and why
what the researchers study matters. Although this is a great technique to hook a reader, the quote
gives no real insight to why it would be helpful for marketers to use average-sized women rather

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:10 PM

Comment [9]: I&think&you&need&to&get&
more&inYdepth&here&and&provide&more&
textual&support&to&convince&me&that&these&
moves&werent&effective.&&&
&
Whats&an&example&of&an&ineffective&quote,&
and&why&is&it&ineffective?&
&
(However,&I&can&see&it&coming&up&in&the&next&
paragraph&&so&maybe&your&current&
placement&of&that&sentence&isnt&working.&&
topic&sentence?)&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:11 PM
Comment [10]: Im&a&little&confused&about&
which&source&youre&referring&to&now&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:11 PM
Comment [11]: ?&

than thin-women. If the article applied a quote from another journal that had conducted a similar
experiment, then their argument would have been boosted right from the beginning. Also, in the
journal article, the use of sentence variation was prevalent. In front of sentences they wrote,
unlike our expectation, however, and of interest throughout the paper. Varying the
beginning of sentences makes the paper sound less redundant and monotone. Another noticeable
pattern for this particular article was italics. In order to subtly stress certain words, the authors
continually used this move. For example, in the following sentence they deliver, They
[participants] were also asked to identify the figure that best represents the average and oversized

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:14 PM

Comment [12]: This&might&sound&small&to&
you,&but&I&just&want&you&to&think&suuuperY
clearly&about&your&ideas,&Priya:&right&now,&
this&sounds&like&these&phrases&arent&
connected&to&the&sentenceie,&&
&
Unlike&our&expectation.&&We&have&found&
that&body&image&blah&blah&blah&
&
When&I&think&of&in&front&of,&thats&what&it&
looks/sounds&like&to&me.&&I&think&you&mean&
at&the&start/beginning&of..&
&
The&best&academic&writing&is&the&clearest&
writing.&&Youre&a&strong&writer,&Im&just&
trying&to&help&you&to&become&even&stronger.&

Chauhan&3&
body type commonly found in women in their mid-20s in real-life. Using italics to subtly stress
words makes the argument more clear. In the article Style in Arguments, an English professor
points out, Although the exclamation point can be irritating if overused [] it can be helpful for
creating a tone if used sparingly (Lunsford 314). Like the exclamation point, italics should be
used sparingly because it can create an effective tone; however, the authors of this article
consistently use them throughout the paper. Not all three wordsaverage, oversized, and
real-lifenecessarily needed to be italicized.
The second journal article is called Dynamics of Retail Advertising: Evidence from a
Field Experiment by Duncan Simester and others. This article argues that sending more
catalogues to loyal customers decreases the likelihood that they will buy more products from the
brand. Although journal articles may differin subject and experiment stylein general, they
are formatted similarly. In order to back up the hypotheses stated in the beginning of the paper,
the authors conduct experiments to further support the claims. Using tables and equations, the

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:14 PM

Comment [13]: Ha,&nice.&&"&

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:56 PM

Comment [14]: See&my&above&comment&
on&your&topic&sentence&for&source&#1.&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:55 PM
Comment [15]: What&do&you&mean&by&
experimen&style?&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:56 PM
Comment [16]: Not&ssssssscholarly&

researchers thoroughly explained their data. People, such as marketers, would obtain interest in
this journal article because it talks about what does and does not boost sales for a brand or store.
The authors argument persuades the reader more than the first because they use moves such as
quotes from other articles, sentence variation, and rhetorical questions.
Resembling the previous article about models, this article pulled outside quotes within the
paper; however, Simester differs by choosing a quote about advertising and sales. In order to

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:56 PM

Comment [17]: Talking&is&something&we&
can&hear,&out&loud.&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:57 PM
Comment [18]: Alright,&but&why&are&these&
aspects&effective/important?&&What&about&
them&makes&them&better&moves?&

hook the readers attention, the journal begins with a brief quote, A firms current advertising is
generally associated with an increase in its sales, but this effect is generally short-lived
(Simester). Prefacing the entire article by stating what the researchers are about to dive into, the
quote sells the readerwho would most likely be a marketeron why he or she should be

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:58 PM

Comment [19]: Im&a&little&confused&about&
where&these&quotes&are&coming&from&and&
what&the&researchers&are&trying&to&
accomplish&by&using&these&quotes.&
&
Are&they&referencing&previous&research/ers?&&

Chauhan&4&
reading this text. It is more valuable for the authors to start with a quote like this rather than a
generic quote about retail. For a journal article, variation in sentence structure is important for
the writing because it makes it more interesting. Style in Arguments explains, Inverted word
order, in which the parts of a sentence or clause are not in the usual subject-verb-object order,
can help make arguments particularly memorable (Lunsford 324). Often times when authors
disregard sentence structure the piece can become very boring and repetitive. Although the other
article did the same thing, this article did not only added phrases to the beginning of sentences;
they inverted entire sentences by using the order: object-verb-subject. Another move the

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:58 PM

Comment [20]: Thing&=&casual&

authors make is adding rhetorical questions within each sub-headline. The results section of the
article asserts questions such as, Does Current Advertising Impact Short-Run Demand?, before
a paragraph begins. This is useful for both the authors and readers because the article stays in an
organized format and communicates to the reader exactly what the next paragraph will comprise
of. All of these moves the author used were more helpful in portraying the point of how to
market to the retail industry. Although the authors used good techniques to engage the reader,

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:59 PM

Comment [21]: Nice&followYup&analysis&
from&your&textual&support.&

this is the not as effective the third non-scholarly article.

The third and most successful article is a non-scholarly piece from a blog called Passion
for Business by Karyn Greenstreet. This post, How to Choose the Best Marketing
Techniques, explores what marketing techniques are best suited for an individuals company;
her post is similar to something that would be found in an introduction to a Marketing for
Dummies book. In her post, she creates a simple outline for customers; the post lays out a
strategy that can help the business grow exponentially. Peoplein small businesses or firms
would be potential readers for this article. She uses moves such as quotes from experience,
parentheses, and brief-sentences to build her more effective claims.

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 12:59 PM

Comment [22]: Priya,&Im&wondering&if&
your&paper&would&benefit&from&reY
structuring&the&organization.&&Instead&of&&
&
Source&#1&
Source&#2&
Source&#3&
&
Could&your&paper/argument&unfold&a&more&
integrated/interwoven&way&if&you&did&
something&like:&
&
Idea&#1&(sources&1,&2,&3)&
Idea&#2&(sources&1,&2,&3)&
Idea&#3&(sources&1,&2,&3)?&

Chauhan&5&
Greenstreet cleverly uses a quote, similarly to the first and second journal article, to start
off her introduction; however, hers comes from direct experience, not books or articles. This is a
different take on how authors usually write which makes for a good a hook to her introduction.
In order to support her claimson good marketing techniquesshe applies her experiences to
the article. In the article, she mentions, Before working with me, one of my private clients tried
to use the same marketing techniques to sell both her services and her productswith poor
results (Greenstreet). She then continues on why it worked for her and uses her experience as
evidence to back up her points. To create credibility for herself, this technique is seen often in
the post. Throughout her post, she also incorporates lots of parentheses. For instance, [] use
one marketing tactic for brand awareness (such as public speaking), another for lead generation
(such as SEO or your free offer), and a third technique for direct sales (like email marketing)
(Greenstreet). The parentheses clarify what she is talking about because they give examples. For
the reader, clearer sentences are easier to follow; also, the examples mentioned in her
parentheses are good ideas that will be applied by the businesses. In the post, the author chose to
use short and brief sentences; using this technique, allows the sentence to be more effective than
writing long intricate sentences. For example, when she talks about the difficulty of time
management she asserts, There is no silver bullet (Greenstreet). Using this idiom in a brief
sentence, the author hits the reader with revelation. With this short sentence, she attempts to
make the reader understand that marketing is essential to a business.
Each of the three articles supports different claims about advertising; however, the most
effective of the three is the non-scholarly article. The non-scholarly texts have more freedom to
create their own more style. Moves are easily identified in non-academic articles because they
are more prominent. This blog can create a voice and is able to allure more readers; whereas

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 1:00 PM

Comment [23]: Agreed.&&So&this&
ultimately&comes&down&to&the&authors&
ability&to&clearly&connect&with&their&reader?&&
Is&that&what&youre&ultimately&arguing&here?&

Chauhan&6&
academic journals are limited to those who can understand it. Academic texts are not free to use
similes, metaphors and hyperbolesthey refrain from exaggerating and using unnecessary
comparisons. The limitation of an academic-journal is the lack of voice within it; both of the
journals did not differ very much in tone because they just had one formal tone. The whole point
of having moves is for one to be able to distinguish one writer from another. Although many
say that academic journals have credibility to their techniques because of research, what they fail
to recognize is that authors of the blogs also have credibility because of their experience in the
field.

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 1:02 PM

Comment [24]: Its&also&to&
clearly/intentionally&communicate&your&
ideas&with&your&target&audienceand&I&
think&that&was&part&of&what&you&are&
ultimately&arguing&in&this&piece.&
&
So,&in&other&words,&its&not&just&well,&I&can&
see&this&is&Priyas&paper,&because&she&uses&
lots&of&dashes&(effectively)&too&and&a&bunch&
of&semicolons.....&its&also&about&how&
someones&moves&can&impact&the&
readability&of&a&piece&and&our&ability&to&
follow&along&clearly&the&whole&way&through.&&
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 1:00 PM
Comment [25]: I&dont&think&these&need&
to&be&italicized.&

Chauhan&7&
Works Cited
Greenstreet, Karyn. "How to Choose the Best Marketing Techniques." How to Choose the Best
Marketing Techniques. Passion for Bussiness, 2009. Web. 06 May 2015.
<http://www.passionforbusiness.com/articles/choose-best-marketing-techniques.htm>.
Lunsford, Andrea. Everything's an Argument. 6th ed. Bedford: St. Martin's, 2012. Print.
Sohn, Steve H., and Seounmi Youn. "Does She Have to Be Thin? Testing the Effects of Models'
Body Sizes on Advertising Effectiveness." Atlantic Journal of Communication 21.3
(2013): 164-83. Academic Search Complete [EBSCO]. Web. 5 May 2015.
Simester, Duncan, Yu (Jeffrey) Hu, Erik Brynjolfsson, and Eric T. Anderson. "Dynamics Of
Retail Advertising: Evidence From A Field Experiment." Economic Inquiry 47.3 (2009):
482-99. Academic Search Complete [EBSCO]. Web. 5 May 2015.
Sypeck, M. F., Gray, J. J., & Ahrens, A. H. No longer just a pretty face: Fashion magazines
depictions of ideal female beauty from 19591999. International Journal of Eating
Disorders 36 (2004). 342347. 5 May 2015.

&