Marylou Mercado

Writing 2
May 4th, 2015
The Economical & Psychological effects of the War on Terror
One of the most controversial topics in American politics has been the war in Iraq.
There has been constant debates on whether America decision to cross those lines has been
justifiable and when too much is just too much. As expected, the free press, scholars and just
ordinary people have talked about this topic, all adding their own perspectives and thoughts
on the topic. In William D. Nordhaus, The Economic Consequences of the war with Iraq,
he takes an his own discipline, analyzing the economic factors of the war. In Sabrina J.
Paganos article The Role of Moral Emotions in Predicting Support for Political Actions in
Post-War Iraq she analyzed a psychological perspective on the war. Finally, in the expert
from people.com Casualty of War a more intimate, personal story is told about the war and
the outcomes that have come from it. Each article, being their own genre establishes their
own different perspective on the same topics. They each follow certain conventions of each
genre and by knowing their audience alters their arguments to appeal to each individual
audience. Among all three articles, each effectively uses their conventions and moves to
critically analyze their topics however, the scholarly articles carry the stronger argument
Each article has a different way of approaching topics. One common convention in
the scholarly articles that they the use of numbers and statistics. For starters, the first
discipline, which was the economic perspective, was more factual based. The article
followed more of a report type of article. One major move in this paper was the use of

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:03 PM

Comment [1]: Typo?
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:03 PM
Comment [2]: Great: econ/psych. Got it.
J
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:04 PM
Comment [3]: As and being are pretty
weak (IMO) connectors. Id throw in a
stronger connector (of these ideas) that shows
the relationship between themlike
because (if you restructure the wording) or
is.

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:08 PM
Comment [4]: No possessive apostrophe
needed here.
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:17 PM
Comment [5]: OK, Marylou, a few things:

1, I want more specificity. What
conventions/moves are effective?

2, In what way(s) do the scholarly pieces
have a stronger argument? (And do both of
them? What difference(s) in arguments do
they have?)

3, Wheres your period at the end of this
sentence? Remember: this might seem
small, but its an indicator of attention to
detail.
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:17 PM
Comment [6]: OK, such as? And how does
this contribute to your overall argument?
(Can you connect it back right away, so the
reader understands why he/she is reading
this paragraph?)

numbers. Continuously throughout the article the author repeatedly uses numbers to back his
claim. As reported by The Wall Street Journal, Lindsey estimated the upper bound cost of
$100 billion to $200 billion. He dismissed the cost as small, stating that these numbers would

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:18 PM

Comment [7]: Since this paragraph seems
to be mostly focusing on #s, you might want
to
promote this to the topic sentence.

be only 1 to 2 percent of U.S. GDP. (Nordhaus) He doesnt just use any kinds of numbers,
here uses percents, costs and effects on GDP. It is important to consider that this article is
tailored to people who are interested in economics. Since this article is written in the
economic perspective, numbers means everything. Readers want to know simply how the
economic market will be affected. The people who read these articles know to expect lots on

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:19 PM

Comment [8]: Do you mean he not
here? (Read your work out loudyou
might catch these little mistakes if this is a
mistake)

Also, wheres your oxford comma?! L

numbers and a credible analysis since this is the National Bureau of Economic Research.
This use of graphs continues through onto the next discipline, psychology. The psych related
article however, did not emphasize it as much as the economics ones The psychology article
follows more of an experiment type schema. Academic arguments can be supported by
evidence you gather through experimentsData from experiments conducted under
rigorously controlled conditions are highly valued (Lunsford) The author of the article
understands this, therefore used experimental outcome to strengthen their argument. Indeed,
the one-factor model for emotions provided a very poor model fit to the data, as indicated by
the combined results from the chi-square and the fit indices, c2 (170, N = 366) = 1,808.83, p
< .00, CFI = .47, RMSEA = .16, standardized RMR = .18. (Pagano) These numbers at first
seem confusing, but it make is seem that the author really knows what she is talking about.
These numbers differ from the economics article because these are of a result of an
experiment whereas the others a re just stating the basic facts. Since a professor published
this, the audience is most like university level scholars/researchers looking to be more
informed about a topic and the results of the experiment. The best way to answer such

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:19 PM

Comment [9]: ? No period again?
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:19 PM
Comment [10]: OK, youre switching
gears here to Psychtime for a new
paragraph?

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:20 PM

Comment [11]: This comment is in
reference to the whole paragraph:

When I see thiseven before I start
readingI think, Ahhhhhhh! Attack of the
page-long paragraph!

See if you like this metaphor:

Pretend your whole paper is a big, juicy
steak. Do you want your reader to enjoy
that steak in easy-to-chew, digestable bites?
Or do you want them to start eating the
whole thing in one piece (think: zombie).
Paragraphs are like those bites. Give your
reader your argument in little, digestable,
one-idea-at-a-time bits.

Readers need to be able to see the different
parts/pieces/bites of the argument that
theyre chewing on.

questions about larger consequences of your claims [Who cares? So what?] is to appeal to
something your audience already cares about. (Berkenstien) Knowing who is reading your
work can really help an author establish their point and appeal to what the readers are already
thinking about.
Another critical move this author uses is continuous use of graphs to demonstrate
comparisons from different war cost. Graphs are an essential convention in economic
articles. The reason for these graphs is so that readers can analyze the macroeconomic aspect
of the paper. By doing this, readers can analyze GDP, inflation rates, and total direct cost.
This move is effective because it gives readers a picture comparison of how much this war is
really costing, outline the negative of this war. From the start one can assume that this article

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:22 PM

Comment [12]: Id advise you to refrain
from using free-floating quotes (ie,
sentences that start and end with a quote).
The reader is probably going to be left
wondering, Who is saying/citing this, and
how/why is it relevant? Wheres it coming
from? Try to introduce the quote and give
it context.


(I said this in your last paper, which makes
me think that youre not reading my
comments It takes a long, long to do this,
yknow.)
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:22 PM
Comment [13]: Did you describe
moveearlier on? I dont think so. Would it
help to explain what you meant by move?
Ie, how YOU were using it?

is biased. The article is titled The Economic Consequences Of A War with Iraq which
clearly emphasized the bad and not the good. Because of this, the authors moves are
influenced by this biased. In a way, the bias influenced the author to tailor his moves to
appeal to his ideas. He does in this article use the numbers to strengthen his claim. The
author understands the conventions and moves of needed to help capture his audience and

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:23 PM

Comment [14]: OK, this is great and very
important. Can you give me more
examples?

persuade them to think likewise. Again, the author of the psychology article shares with the
previous author is their use of graphs to help emphasize their point. How much guilt do you
feel for the role played by each of the following parties in causing suffering among the Iraqi
people. (Pagano) The author uses this questions to show the general consensus of how its
effecting society. The graph shows the lack of support (by use of percentages) people have
on the war, which helps back her statement. In disciplines like psychology or economics,
quantitate data [like the graphs]- the sort that can be observed and counted- may be the best
kind of evidence. (Lunsford). The use of these graphs is a strong move because it really

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:25 PM

Comment [15]: No free-floating quotes,
please.

proves that authors have the credibility and back up to prove their point.
A crucial move used by the authors (this time only the psychology and people.com) is
the constant appeal to emotion. Author Sabrina Pagno who wrote the psych article often
emphasizes such feelings as empathy, guilt, and moral outrage. Seeing these emotions among

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:25 PM

Comment [16]: You sure about this? Just
creating can graph make a writer credible?
Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:26 PM
Comment [17]: Find a way to weave this
into the body of the sentenceie, dont hide
it behind parentheses. Its important.

others creates a sense of emotion among the reader. we suggest that harm inflicted upon
others in violation of normative principles (i.e., moral transgressions) can induce distinct
emotions, such as guilt and moral outrage (author) By introducing these emotion, a reader
has a better understanding of why the authors feel the way they feel. The non-scholarly piece

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:26 PM

Comment [18]: No period again? Whats
happening?

analyzing the war in Iraq is from people.com takes on the same idea The author here also
takes on an emotional appeal to the article, however, his move is through use of a personal
story. He was a hard charger who worked hard about being the best person he could says
his mother, Judy, 52. He died doing what he loved best, and that was being a Marine.
(People) This moves brings about so many topics such as, sacrifice and patriotism. By
saying that the man had died doing what he loved makes the readers feel more for the

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:26 PM

Comment [19]: Good! (No comma
needed)

family. Since he died as a Marine, he died fighting for his country, which is an act of
patriotism. Most people who read this article are probably American since it is an American
publishing company so they more than likely feel empathy for the fallen Marine and his
family. The fact that his mom also released the statement makes it all the more personal. The
use of the story is to catch the readers attention instead of telling statistics and analyzing
facts. In no part of the story is it directly stating that the war is bad. Instead, it uses a story to
make the reader think war is bad on his or her own. It makes the reader feel bad for those
who have to go through war. The economics article attempts to create these emotions by
creating possible war scenarios, but is ineffective due to lack of intimacy and personality to

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:27 PM

Comment [20]: OK, this isby farthe
most interesting part of your paper,
Marylou. If you feel the same way too, you
might want to consider how to weave it into
the core of your central argumentie, make
this a much more important point in your
paper.

their stories.
All the authors have the same ideas, however they go about it different. Sure, they
often serve a similar purpose as the other articles but the non scholarly article was just not as
effective. Although the topic was the same, they all had their own intended purpose. Their
moves helped steer their intrude audiences into thinking the same way they did. They
followed the conventions that made their genre special. Also, the source plays a big role here.
People.com is not as credible as UCLA and the National Bureau of Economic Research.
Also, they are not directly persuading to advocate against the war whereas the other two
articles play a more significant role in highlighting why the war is bad.. This article also
follows more along the entertainment genre, instead of a persuading one. Sure, the use of
drawing emotions is effective, but it is not as effective as the scholarly articles. It is difficult
to take an article too serious when on the sidelines it is advertising Kim Kardashians last
scandal. First impressions matter a lot. When approaching a genre for the first time, you
likely view it as more than a simple form. (Dirk) One big effective move is that the authors
understand whom they are publishing too. People.com is a common website read by many
diverse people. They [the authors] write for an implied audience. (Boyd) The authors
understand their audiences and their genre therefore follow the conventions needed to keep
their readers interested. If they had a bunch of numbers and graphs, its readers would
probably look away. Although the topic was the same, they all had their own intended
purpose. Their moves helped steered their intrude audiences in thinking the same way they
did. They followed the conventions that made their genre special. Just because the nonscholarly pieces were not as effective, they still accomplished their purpose.

Zack De Piero 5/12/2015 5:28 PM

Comment [21]: I like how youre trying to
weave these quotes in. Make sure to use
page #s.