Professional Documents
Culture Documents
"Since he lost his money, half his friends don''''t know him any more"
"And the other half ?"
"They don''''t know yet that has lost it"
1.Tin v bn
- T ngy hn mt tin, phn na bn b ca hn khng cn bit ti hn na.
- Cn na kia ?
- H cha bit l hn mt tin.
ci cassette c khng ?
Ngi m nhc rock nng : - B nh chu c tic tng g h ?
Ch b: - khng, b chu ch mun i ng.
Country Policeman : "Well, you''''re too late; the murder''''s been done".
5. Cnh st v phng vin
Cnh st vng qu (ti hin trng mt v n mng) : - Anh khng c vo y.
Phng vin : - Nhng ti c phi n y lm v n mng ny.
Cnh st vng qu : - A, anh mun mt ri ; v n mng lm xong.
6. A Cow Grazing
Artist : "That, sir, is a cow grazing"
Visitor : "Where is the grass ?"
Artist : "The cow has eaten it"
Visitor : "But where is the cow ?"
Artist : "You don''''t suppose she''''d be fool enough to stay there after she''''d eaten
all the grass, do you ?"
6. B n c
Ha s : - Bc tranh v mt con b ang n c y, tha ng.
Khch : - C thy c u ?
Ha s : - Con b n ht ri.
Khch : - Th cn con b u ?
Ha s : - Ch b ng tng con b li ngu n mc ng sau khi n ht
c sao ng ?
11. G v ch
Jones : - Xin li anh bn v con g nh ti st chung v bi nt khu vn ca anh.
Smith : - Khng sao u, con ch nh ti xi ti con g ca anh ri.
"Oh, I beg your pardon. Of course, it isn't her voice, really. It's the stuff she has to
sing. I wonder who wrote that awful song ?"
"I did", was the answer.
13. V ti
Mt v khch quay sang mt ngi ngi bn v ch bai ging ca ca mt ph n
ang ht gip vui cho h.
- Ging ca g nghe m khip! Anh c bit b ta l ai khng?
- Bit ch, - cu tr li. - V ti .
- i ch, xin li anh. Thc ra th khng phi do ging ca ca ch y. Chnh ci th
h ln m ch ta buc lng phi ca ht ln mi l khip. Ti khng hiu a no
li i vit mt bi ca kinh khng nh vy?
- Ti vit y.
14. The Difference Between Valor And Discretion
"What's the difference between valor and discretion ?"
"Well, to go to a swell restaurant without tipping the waiter would be valor"
"I see. And discretion ?"
15. Nnh b
Nh ph bnh : - i! Ci g th kia? Mt bc tranh tuyt vi! Qu su sc! Qu tinh
t!
Ha s : - Ci g? l ch ti chi c cho sch sn y.
16. Cigar Fruit
16. Tri x g
Ngi lm vn : - y l cy thuc l ang n hoa , tha b.
Mnh ph kh knh : - Hay qu nh! Th bao lu na th x g mi chn?
17. Downstairs And Upstairs
Downstairs : "Didn't you hear me pounding on the ceiling ?"
Upstairs : "Oh, that's all right. We were making a lot of noise ourselves".
17. Chuyn c x
Nh tng di : - Ti nn ln trn nh th m anh khng nghe ?
Nh tng trn: - , khng sao u. Chnh bn ti cng ang lm inh i c ln y
ny.
18. Time
21. nh phng ln
- y anh c nhn phng nh ln bng kch thc tht khng?
- l chuyn mn ca chng ti.
- Hay qu! y, phng cho ti tm nh ti chp Kim T Thp.
22. Terrible Experience
Miss Gushin : "It must be wonderful to be a parachute jumper. I suppose you've had
some terrible experiences"
Parachutist (fed up with her) : "Yes, miss, terrible. Why, once I came down where
there was a sign : "Keep Off The Grass"".
23. ng t ph na
Smith : - Ta c nghe my lp i lp li mi my t "thng ngu". Hy vng l my
khng m ch tao y ch?
Jones : - Thi i, ng c ln mt t ph. Lm nh trn i ny khng cn thng
ngu no khc.
24. Anything Will Do
Musician (after much pressing) : "Well, all right, since you insist. What shall I
play ?"
Host : "Anything you like, It is only to annoy the neighbors".
24. Ci g cng c
Nhc s (sau nhiu ln b ni p) : - Thi c ri, nu nh ng mun th. Ti s
chi bi g by gi y ?
Gia ch : - Bt c bi no anh thch. Ch chc tc hng xm thi m.
25. t tn mung th
Adam v Eva ang t tn cho cc loi th trn tri t th mt con t gic i ti.
Adam : - Ta s gi con ny l g?
Eva : - Hy gi n l t gic.
Adam : - Sao vy?
Eva : - Bi v n trng ging mt con t gic hn bt k con g chng ta t tn
ny gi.
26. Statues
Country Cousin (after prolonged inspection of building operations) : "I don't see the
sense of putting statues on top of your buildings"
Friend : "Statues ? Those aren't statues. They're bricklayers".
28. Identified
"This check is doubtless all right," said the paying teller politely, "but have you
anything about you by which you could be identified ?
The pretty young thing faltered, "I have a mole high up above my left knee".
28. Xc minh
- Tm chi phiu ny hon ton hp l, - ngi th qu ngn hng lch s ni, nhng c c ci g xc minh v c khng?
- C nng xinh p p ng : - Em c mt nt rui cao tt bn trn u gi tri.
29. It Wasn't Me
"Hello, Frank, I thought you were dead ?"
"Oh", said Frank, "they did get a story around that I was dead, but it was another
man, I knew it wasn't me as soon as I heard of it"
30. Khm ph v i
- Hon ho do ngu nhin, ti thc hin c mt trong nhng khm ph v i
nht, - nh khoa hc ni.
- Xin php c hi l g ?
- Ti khm ph ra l, - nh khoa hc p, - bng cch mt l mc gn bn, ta
c th s dng mt cy bt my ht nh bt k cy bt mc no khc m khng
phi mt cng bm mc.
Newsun su tm
(tobecontinued...cntip...)