(/)

content AccessibilityHelp(/accessibility/)
(https://ssl.bbc.com/id/signin?ptrt=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.com%2Fcapital%2Fstory%2F20150430expatshockcominghome)
News(http://www.bbc.com/news/)Sport(/sport/)Weather(/weather/)Shop(http://shop.bbc.com/)Earth(http://www.bbc.com/earth/)Travel(http://www.bbc.com/travel/)
More
(http://search.bbc.co.uk/search)
QUORACOLUMN(HTTP://WWW.BBC.COM/CAPITAL/COLUMNS/QUORACOLUMN) |3May2015

Expatshockatcominghome
ByAngelaHenshall
Britain(http://www.bbc.com/capital/tags/britain) Careers(http://www.bbc.com/capital/tags/careers) China(http://www.bbc.com/capital/tags/china)
Expats(http://www.bbc.com/capital/tags/expats) Psychology(http://www.bbc.com/capital/tags/20150401psychology)

(Credit:Thinkstock)

Peanutbutter,marmite,fishandchips,teabags,broerwurstthesearejustsomeofofthemanytinythingsthathomesickexpatsyearnforaftertheyreposted
overseas.
Thisnostalgiaistobeexpectedwhenpeoplemoveabroad.Muchlessexpected,however,istheshockmanyexpatsexperiencewhentheyreturnhomeand
realisingitisntastheyrememberedit.Surprisingly,manyfindthemselvesstrugglingtofitinandmakesenseofsurroundingsthathavechangedsincetheywent
away.
Sohowdotheyadjust?WewenttoquestionandanswersiteQuoraforsomepracticalsuggestionsforlongtermexpatsmovingbacktotheirhomecountry
(http://www.quora.com/Whatadvicewouldyougivetoalongtermexpataboutthestruggletoreestablishthemselveswithintheirowncountry) .
GwenSawchuk(http://qr.ae/0N8Gp) recommendedbuyingaplacebackhomewhileyourestilllivingabroadandgoingthereforvacationsandholidayperiods.This
way,youdevelopyourrelationshipswithinthecommunity,shewrote.Andwhenyougotheretolivepermanently,itwillfeelmorelikehome,whereyoubelong.
Sawchukalsosuggestedintegratingbysigningupforcoursesorgetaparttimejob,volunteerdowhatittakestomeetasmanypeopleaspossible.
Don'timmediatelytalkaboutalltheplacesyou'vebeen,whatyou'vedone,etc.ItoverwhelmspeopleThiswillalienatepeople,shewrote.Keepitlowkey,make
itlikedating,doleoutinformationvery,veryslowly.
Shewarnedexpatsmayfinditdifficulttofitbackinatthebeginning.Itwillbeuptoyoutodotheworkofadapting,Sawchukwrote.Insteadofgoingbacktoyour
hometown,itmaybewisetoconsiderlivingsomewherethathasamuchmoretransientpopulation,wherepeoplearemoreaccustomedtonewbies,she
suggested.
LauraHale(http://qr.ae/0Npzz) ,whohaslivedinfivedifferentcountries,offeredthissimpleadviceforthosewhoarerepatriating.Havethesamemindsetasifyou
weremovingtoadifferentcountry,andplanaccordingly,Halewrote.Expatsshouldexpectcultureshock,shortperiodsoffeelingisolatedanddifficulty
understandinghowthesystemworks,shewrote.
Don'tcomebackwithanyexpectationsthatyourhomewillbeasyouleftit,warnedengineer,DonMerritt(http://qr.ae/0tqqD) .Thingshavechanged,friendshave
movedonyourmovebackcouldbeasdifficultasyourmoveabroad,hewrote.Thisisamplifiedbythenotionthatyouwilllikelyhavethatthingswillbethe
same.

ForthosereturningtotheWestfromChina(http://www.quora.com/WhatsitlikeforlongtermexpatstoleaveChinaandmovebacktotheirhomecountry) thetransitioncanbe
particularlytough.
ElliottChen(http://qr.ae/0GRIV) wrotethat,forhim,returningtotheUSwasaverydifficultadjustment.WhenIwaslivinginChina,ifIencounteredanuncomfortable
orirritatingsituation,Icouldatleastframeittomyselfasaculturaloddity,andfinditinterestingandquaint,hewrote.BackinAmerica,Idon'thavethatillusion
anymore.Helistshandsanitiser,conversationsaboutnewworkoutfads,fantasysports,SuperBowlsandrealestateinvestingamonghistopconversationalbug
bears.ThesedaysChenfindshishomecountrystiflingandoverregulatedwheretheheckcanapersonsmokeacigarette?!
Sometimesbasiccommunicationcanbeastruggle,asMattSchiavenza(http://qr.ae/0G17T) found.Alotofcommonslangwordsandphrasesthatenteredthelexicon
whileIwasgonesailedstraightovermyhead,hewrote.Ididn'tknowthatyouhadtopaycashwhenbuyingthingsonCraigslist.Ireactedwithchildlike
amazementatcommonapplianceslikeconvectionovensandclothesdryers.
DuringhisfirstyearhomeinNewYork,SchiavenzabegantomissChinabadly.IsoughtoutChinesefriendsandparticipatedinChineseactivitiesatColumbia
(University)andevenhadaChinesegirlfriend.IgrumbledathowexpensivethingswereinNewYorkandhowitwasdifficultandtimeconsumingtoeathealthy
meals,hewrote.
Intheendwhat"brokethespell",wasgoingbacktoBeijingforasummer.AlotofwhatIhadfoundcharmingaboutChinaseemedtodisappear,hewrote.AndI
discoveredIwasfrustratedwiththingsslowinternet,dodgytaxidrivers,foodpoisoningthatusedtorolloffmyback.
JimBroiles(http://qr.ae/0teXO) whoworksinthetechindustry,returnedtoCaliforniaafterjustfourmonthsinChina.Atfirsthelovedseeingtheblueskyanddrivingin
theorderlytraffic.Yet,itwaslikelivinginaghosttown.Wefeltisolatedandbored.Thefoodwasboring.Theshoppingwasboring.Therewerenopeople.Nofaces
toexamineandnohumanitytoexperienceineverysquareinchoflivingspace,hewrote.
Broilessaidatwork,thepaceofprogressfeltlikepeopleweremovingthroughapoolofmolasses.Hefeltlikehewascoasting,butrelativelyspeakingIwas
extremelyproductiveandhadoneofmybestyears.ThisisinaSiliconValleytechcompany,sonotexactlyknownforbeingslowpaced.Perhapsthatcangiveyoua
perspectiveonthedifferencerelativetoChina.
QuorarespondentsarerequiredtousetheirtruenamesunderthesitesRealNames(https://www.quora.com/QuoraPoliciesandGuidelines/DoIhavetousemyrealname
onQuoraWhatisQuorasRealNamespolicy) policy.Tohelpensurelegitimacyandquality,Quoraaskssomeindividuals,suchasdoctorsandlawyers,toconfirmtheir
expertise.
TocommentonthisstoryoranythingelseyouhaveseenonBBCCapital,headovertoourFacebook(https://www.facebook.com/BBCCapital) pageormessageuson
Twitter(https://twitter.com/BBC_Capital) .

Signuptoday

FeaturedVideo

ChristianPetzold:HowGermanstodayconfronttheNazis
FordecadesafterWorldWarII,Germanfilmmakersavoidedthesubject.Butthathasnowchanged,andonenewfilm

(http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20141024howgermanfilmsdepictthenazis)

TIFF:Asexy,shockingsilentfilmandmore
InourfirstvideochatfromtheTorontoInternationalFilmFestival,weround

(http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20140905asexyshockingnewsilentfilm)

HongKong:ThecentreofAsiasartboom?
ArtBaselhasagainarrivedinHongKongbutwhatarethebestandbrightest

(http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150316asiasnewartcapital)

Arehumansstillevolving?

Moderndaylifehashelpedturnmostoftheprocessesbehindnaturalselection

(http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20130812arehumansstillevolving)

Summerblockbusters2014:Hollywoodsdifficultseason
BoxofficerevenuesaredownintheUSandthestudiosarebracedforoneof

(http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20140821summerblockbustersitsawrap)

Recommendedby

FromaroundtheBBCConcordereturns:Supersonicjetsreadyfortake
off(http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20120405
supersonicjetsreadytotakeoff)

BBCFUTURE
Seventheatresthattakeyourbreathaway
(http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150327your
sevenbreathtakingtheatres)

BBCCULTURE
Thebestjobsforsmart,butlazypeople
(http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20140228jobsfor
thesmartbutlazy)

BBCCAPITAL
Theproblemwithsmartpeople
(http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20140528the
problemwithsmartpeople)

BBCCAPITAL
Thesurprisingdownsidetobeingdebtfree
(http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20140523the
downsideoflivingdebtfree)

BBCCAPITAL

TermsofUse(/terms/)

AbouttheBBC(/aboutthebbc/)

PrivacyPolicy(/privacy/)

Cookies(/privacy/cookies/about)

AccessibilityHelp(/accessibility/)

ParentalGuidance(/guidance/)

ContacttheBBC(/contact/)

Copyright2015BBC.TheBBCisnotresponsibleforthecontentofexternalsites.Readaboutourapproachtoexternallinking.(/help/web/links/)

(#)