Searching for Answers:

The Journey
MATC Synthesis Paper

In partial fulfillment of the requirements for the

Master of Arts Degree in Teaching and Curriculum
Department of Teacher Education, Michigan State University

Melanie A. Bendick
PID A35134327
April 17, 2016

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If someone told me eight years ago that I would have travelled and lived in China and
now California, I would have never believed them. When I applied to the MATC program in the
summer of 2008, I felt a need to leave Michigan and see more of the world, which is why I
decided to study abroad in Australia for a month. This was my first exposure to being in a
foreign country on my own and learning about another education system that was different from
the United States. It was there that I stayed with my home host, a principal of a Sydney
elementary school. While living with her, she shared her passions of travel, culture, and
education. As I talked with her and flipped through her photo albums of all the places she
travelled, I felt inspired and an instant need to better understand the world and explore places I
had never been. It was actually through that study abroad opportunity that led me to my
experience of teaching in China. I knew I had to know, understand, and learn more. When I came
back to the U.S. from Australia, it was 2008 and I knew finding a job in Michigan was going to
be challenging. That is when I heard about a school in Beijing that was affiliated with Michigan
State University (MSU) a child development center that was expanding into elementary school.
Through an impromptu Skype interview, I found myself taking a chance to take a leap of faith
and move to China. What was supposed to be a one-year stint, ended up being five.
When I first began the MATC program, I had the desire to learn more about education.
However, my focus was more about how to manage a classroom and how to make a great lesson
plan it was hard for me to think long term (see Artifact 1 Perceptions of Teaching in the
Beginning). Although I do not have documents or projects from the beginning of MATC,
Artifact 1 Perceptions of Teaching in the Beginning, is a narrative of my beliefs about teaching
when I began this program. As I recalled in this artifact, I tried to think through every scenario,
and include in my plans every aspect of what could potentially happen. While beginning my

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student teaching in Okemos, Michigan, my focus was on the logistics of how to create a lesson.
Yet it was during that time I felt a responsibility to start thinking for myself, rather than relying
on exactly what my Collaborating Teacher (CT) was doing. I was beginning to view the
resources I used in the classroom with a critical eye; I realize now that at the time I was trying to
reach Goals 1 and 2 of the MATC program: Critical Inquiry and Accomplished Teaching. I felt
in order to be a good teacher, it was necessary to do everything my CT did because she was the
expert and I was just the teacher in training how could I come up with my own ideas and make
it beneficial for my students?
However, it was through TE 802 (see Artifact 2 Literacy Core Values), one of my
beginning courses in MATC, that I began to realize the importance of observations and what one
sees, is only at the surface level there is much more to be discovered on a deeper level. I wrote,
When being an observer to students reading, one can hear whether the student can read fluently
and if they are pausing slightly after each sentence. By listening to students read, it sometimes
can be assumed the student is at a higher reading level. Yet, when taking a closer look, it is the
comprehension portion of literacy that some students seem to be lacking (Artifact 2, p. 1).
Although I was only observing reading at the time, I think this also catapulted my desire to
continue making observations and search for what may not be visible at first. This concept of
observations became more prominent and continued to develop as I made my way through the
MATC program.
Once I completed my internship year in 2009, I moved to Beijing, China. During my five
years there, I took a hiatus from the MATC program. At the time, I felt the need to focus on
myself living in a new country; surrounded by a culture I was unfamiliar with instead of trying to
tackle more courses and even more transitions. Every classroom in that school had glass walls so

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informal observations happened frequently; however formal observations rarely occurred.

Although I was terrified of being observed (for being worried about doing something wrong), I
began to question that because I found the power in observing my students and other teachers,
why should not I be more willing to be observed myself? That is when I started to discuss the
power of observations with the administration and opted for peer-to-peer observations. In the
past, I knew the benefits of observations, but I could not quite explain how peer-to-peer
observations would be beneficial, as well as how to distinguish between the types of
observations. It was not until when I took TE 872, that I would finally be able to piece together
my want, desire, and need to have observations.
During my course TE 872, we were assigned to complete a CPBook (Common Place
Book on Google Slides) entry each week a place where we could synthesize our thoughts of
what we were currently learning to articles we read, videos we watched, or experiences we had
in our classroom (see Artifact 7 CPBooks, Slide # 7). Being able to reflect and have practice
with observations would be ideal in order for it to be effective. On the slide, I argued that
teachers should be thinking about their teaching and In order for teachers to become active
participants of their own growth, we need guiding questions to help us reflect on our teaching, as
well as having observers being active listeners. If we only rely on what the observer has seen and
believed, whats to say that the observers opinion is the only right or correct one? Time and
time again I am beginning to realize that if we seek to find the answers to how we can improve
our teaching, we need to rely on others not only observing us, but helping guide us to our own
self-discovery. Furthermore, my professor continued to push my thinking that there may be a
need for different observations a formal one for evaluative purposes, and informal ones for
personal growth. Although I have always believed in having observations, I feel through MATC

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I have been able to better identify the types of observations I think are necessary for teacher
growth and how to also be a more effective facilitator in promoting observations. In the future,
my goal is to continue promoting observations in school settings and to be an active participant
during the observation process.
Not only did the idea of observations begin to develop and become an emphasis for a
value of teaching throughout my time in the MATC program, but so did my understanding of
assessments. As mentioned earlier in Artifact 1 Perceptions of Teaching in the Beginning, I
relied heavily on creating a perfect lesson and believed those lesson plans were the most
important aspect of teaching. Soon afterwards, I began to shift my attention towards giving
authentic assessments to track whether or not my students were learning. While I do not have
artifacts to show my initial beliefs on assessments when I began the MATC, I do have Artifact 6
Literacy Case Study, which shows my growth and knowledge in how to effectively assess
students to drive instruction.
During TE 842, I had to conduct a case study on a student where I observed his
assessments and from there, determined what the assessments were telling me about the student
as a literacy learner, and device goals and instructional strategies to help him reach his goals (see
Artifact 6 - Literacy Case Study). This was the first time in the MATC program and in my
teaching career, where I learned how to specifically analyze data, plan instruction from that data,
and effectively see how curriculum standards would work with all those factors. It was through
this case study that I recognized the steps I could effectively take in order to help my students
with their literacy needs. Furthermore, I began to actively think about the research I was reading
and became an active participant in believing I can make my own decisions. This was a crucial
step in helping me recognize that there is no right way in teaching, but rather I could

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differentiate between effective strategies that could potentially help my student based on his or
her assessments and specific needs. As I continue my journey of being an educator, it is my hope
that I will further analyze research on instructional strategies and effectively use assessments to
drive my instruction.
Another aspect throughout my time in MATC that pushed my thinking was through my
transfer course of Daily 5 (see Artifact 3 Daily 5 Transfer Credit). During this course, I found
myself reaching standards 1, 2, 4, and 5 from MATC. While I was becoming competent in
reading research articles and journals to communicate my thoughts and learning, I was also
becoming very reflective and aware of the teaching I did in the past, as well as what I would like
to do in the future. I became more conscious on what my students needed in terms of reading
instruction and strategies, as well how to model and teach more explicitly. I wrote, When
thinking about my groups and conferences in the past, many failed because I tried to teach the
child too many skills or strategies and [succeeded] only in confusing him or her as it is stated in
CAF (Boushey & Moser, 2009, p. 63). Having a clear focus guides my students better and also
holds them accountable for their learning because they know exactly what to work on as a
reader (see Artifact 3- Daily 5 Transfer Credit, p. 8). By reviewing this artifact, I am now
coming to the realization that having a clear focus while teaching students is also a crucial factor
when working with teachers. Having clear goals (as seen in Artifact 6 Literacy Case Study)
was an important aspect in driving my instruction, having clear goals in Daily 5 helped ensure
student learning, and having clear goals and a focus with teachers help drive effective
discussions (as mentioned later in this paper about Artifact 8 - Leadership Project for TE 872).
As I started the MATC program again in the fall of 2015, I was seeking answers that
would entail best practices. Having been out of the program for about six years, I realized that

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while I learned a lot about myself as a teacher during that time, I still had an unsettling feeling
that I was not doing enough. Was I really captivating my students interests? Was I really
providing authentic experiences for them and assessing them appropriately, which I had
questioned when I first started MATC in 2008? I thought I was going to get clear-cut answers
regarding what I could do in my classroom immediately. What I found throughout this program,
however, was that there are no clear answers to best practices. While I learned about several
different theories, practices, and research-based evidence to particular instructions, I found that I
had to begin to shape my own view on best practices and fit those to the needs of my students.
From the beginning of MATC in 2008 until now, I learned that every year is going to be
different so I will need to adapt and change my practices based on resources I have, as well as
the students I have. In the future when I read other books about literacy instruction or practice, I
will begin to look at it with a critical eye and reflect upon it, rather than fully giving in and
saying it is a great way to teach. I will look at it with a new perspective, as well as question what
I am reading. It was actually through my revision stance of what makes a quality teacher during
TE 807 that I learned to look at research articles and journals and it made me realize there is no
one right way to teach. In Artifact 5 Revised Stance on Quality Teaching, I wrote, As
Noddings (2009) mentions, Learn from others, but think for yourself (p.25). One must
ultimately decide what to do in the classroom, as well as what to focus on it is all about
viewing opposing thoughts, but thinking for yourself and choosing what you believe in and how
to incorporate lessons into the daily classroom routine (Artifact 5, p. 6)
As I mentioned in my TE 807 paper, Revised Stance on Quality Teaching (see Artifact
5 Revised Stance on Quality Teaching, p. 2) I first believed that being a quality teacher meant
that they taught through all of the curriculum which is also evident in my Artifact 1 -

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Perceptions of Teaching in the Beginning. However, my perception of teaching changed in TE

807. While I still find teaching the curriculum incredibly important, I do not find it to be the most
important aspect any more. Instead, my focus is now on building connections and relationships
with my students, rather than just teaching the content. In the paper I explained, Doyle and
Doyles (2003) article Building Schools as Caring Communities: Why, What, and How?
discussed the importance of connecting with others and that when we are cared for and feel safe,
more learning can happen (Artifact 5, p. 3). I reflected on myself not as a teacher, but as a
learner and student. When do I feel safe and comfortable to express my ideas whether it is
through a MATC discussion board or among colleagues in a staff meeting? It was through this
course that helped me recognize that A sense of community empowers students to hold others
accountable for behaviors, learning, respect, and kindness (Boushey & Moser, 2014, p. 24)
(Artifact 5 - Revised Stance on Quality Teaching, p. 3).
It was also through TE 807 that I realized the importance of working with other
colleagues would be much more powerful and beneficial for my students, rather than me trying
to figure out how to be the best on my own (see Artifact 4 Peer Coaching Cycle). As
evidence from this artifact, I discussed how important it is to work with other colleagues:
Feiman-Nemser (2001) states, By engaging in professional discourse with like-minded
colleagues grounded in the content and tasks of teaching and learning, teachers can deepen
knowledge of subject matter and curriculum[and] hone their inquiry skills (p. 1042) (Artifact
4, p. 2). I am finding a reoccurring theme here that I need to establish trust, rapport, and
relationships with not only my students to have effective learning, by also with my colleagues. I
can also see that this value is evident in my Artifact 7 CPBooks (Slide #1). While reflecting on
the power of trust, I quoted, Kajitani (2015) discussed the importance of also having reciprocal

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relationships by supporting one anothers work and sharing responsibility for outcomes (p.
123). I further explored how the impact of trust (or distrust) can determine the type of
relationship you can have (see Artifact 7 CPBooks- Slide #1).
When I had to peer-coach with a partner in TE 807 regarding an artifact, it was through
that experience that I learned how to not only trust myself, but to begin to trust others. Even
though peer coaching was an intriguing experience for me, it was necessary for me to step back
and figure out how I could actually adopt peer coaching into every school setting that I am in.
How do I create an environment that allows teachers to collaborate when sometimes I do not
want to work with others? How could I allow myself not to take offense to feedback, but expect
others to listen to feedback with an open mind? Again, it was through my revision of quality
teaching that had me recognize the necessity of creating a community both in the classroom
and among colleagues. I discussed how I began to realize that I learned the most from
discussing, debating, collaborating, and questioning with my colleagues. Feiman-Nemser (2001)
states, Talk is the central vehicle for sharing and analyzing ideas, values, and practices. Through
critical and thoughtful conversations, teachers develop and refine ways to study teaching and
learning (p. 1042) (see Artifact 5 - Revised Stance on Quality Teaching, p. 5).
I want to develop collaborating with colleagues more and I want to develop that
professional talk with them. However, that will all start with building a community of people
first. Just like in the classroom I want students to feel safe to express their ideas and thoughts.
Although I recognized that I needed to create a community, what were the actual steps I could
take to get there? How would I begin to create an opportunity for teachers to value collaboration
and begin to have an open mind? As I worked with different CPBooks in TE 872, it was through
those assignments that had me begin to slowly see how I could actually apply the steps in my

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own school setting. One example that highlighted these thoughts was through my CPBook about
The Power of Feedback and Perceptions. I quoted Roussin and Zimmerman (2014), When
teachers do not sense trust in a relationship, feedback will have little if any opportunity for
changing professional behaviors. Cultures that lack trust are more likely to perceive feedback as
negative and to react with protective responses adopting a psychological posture that is
argumentative or passive-aggressive (p.39) (see Artifact 7 CPBooks, Slide #3). I explored
times when I felt distrust by the type of feedback I received and learned how I perceive feedback.
This is still a topic I would like to further explore in my teaching career, as well recognize the
type of feedback I give to others (whether as a colleague in an peer observation or as in a
leadership role to a teacher). By further exploring this, I believe it will help me to further reach
Goal 3 of the MATC program: Collaborative Professional Development, Teaching Leadership,
Contributions to the Field.
One way that I have begun to reach Goal 3 is through my TE 872 Leadership Project (see
Artifact 8 Leadership Project). During this project I needed to think about myself as a leader
and how I could help initiate change in my school. While I was hesitant at first because I did not
quite feel I could possibly make a big impact or change in my school, I was easily surprised how
excited I was about the prospect of change. As I talked with my professor, as well as my
colleagues at my school, I noticed that teaching in a bilingual setting has its own challenges and
complications. With having teachers from around the world teaching English, Chinese, and
French, it gets difficult to align curriculum expectations across all three programs, let alone
trying to get everyone to agree on one perspective or topic. I decided in the end, however, that I
would gather a group of teachers whom I had already established rapport and trust with and

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teachers who were already beginning to implement aspects of the Daily 5 (a literacy structure
that is mentioned in Artifact 3 Daily 5 Transfer Credit).
I planned on having a few different discussions that followed particular protocols to have
effective discussions and reflection. This was also a way to begin to align grade levels and
teachers between the three programs. While this project is still a work in progress, I continued to
develop the idea of establishing positive relationships with colleagues in order to have honest
and open discussions. During some of our discussions, I also began to recognize that there is not
a wrong or right way for teaching and that how we give feedback can completely change the
dynamics of the discussion. In Artifact 7 CPBooks (Slide # 2), I wrote, What I found to be the
most important aspect of [discussions] was learning how to agree and disagree respectfully, to
open up our minds to others perspectives and opinions, and to also collaborate to reach a shared
goal. In our schools, it could be collaborating to reach the most important instruction that will
bridge the gap between languages. Or maybe finding the most important direction our school
needs to go in and determining why. I also emphasized that having a focus is important for
having effective discussions, which is why I created a protocol with a focus for my Leadership
Project.
When discussing Daily 5 with my colleagues, I found myself empowered by having
teachers talk openly about how they felt on the program, as well as struggles they may be having.
However, I also observed the teachers who did not want to write down reflections at first, found
it to be most useful. This allowed everyone to show and share their thinking, as well as clarify
any misunderstandings. Although this project is one that I would like to continue, I have found
that it has begun to give me the courage and confidence of bringing teachers together in an
effective manner and has also made me think more passionately about becoming a teacher leader

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in my school. Most importantly though, it has opened my eyes to the possibility that best
teaching practices do not necessarily come from books or theories, but rather through
collaboration of teachers and empowering everyone to share their voice and perspective.
Although I first began the MATC program to have the opportunity to study abroad and
not necessarily with the intention I would actually finish this particular program, I realized that it
was through the MATC that allowed me to go on the journey I did and to become the educator I
am, as well as the leader in education I would like to be in the future. If it were not for MATC, I
would have never studied in Australia, which led me to value an appreciation and more
knowledge about education systems. It led me to start thinking for myself during student
teaching. It led me to China, which opened my mind to new appreciations of cultures, learning
the importance of differentiation, and how observations can impact teaching. After that, it finally
led me to the realization that I sought for more learning and growing as an educator because I
had been in classrooms with several different students with backgrounds and needs.
At the beginning of my teaching career, I focused on classroom management and while I
still want to do things right, Im starting to shift my focus now on developing myself further as
a teacher I want to continue growing and learning. I want to evaluate and analyze student
learning and thinking. I want to develop and understand more about assessments and how that
can drive my instruction. I know now that there is no wrong or right it is about the process
of coming to my own conclusions, just as is the process of going through the MATC program
and even writing this paper.
Do I know all the answers about being an educator and being in education? Absolutely
not. Will I continue to search for those best practices? Definitely. Will I ever learn all the
answers? Honestly, I hope not. I heard some great advice a few years back from another teacher:

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Once a teacher claims they know everything and have learned everything they need to know to
be a successful teacher, thats the moment they need to get out of teaching. Educating is ongoing process of listening, collaborating, analyzing, synthesizing, changing, adaptingetc. that
is going to continue to shape me as an educator and allow me to be flexible for every unique
class I have, attempt to understand every school setting, and recognize that I can make a positive
impact for both my students and other teachers. Lastly, I would like to end my journey of the
MATC program with how I ended my revision of quality teaching:
Rita Pierson (2013) stated, Every child deserves a champion. An adult who will never
give up on them, who understands the power of connection, and insist that they become
the best they could possibly be. I want to be that champion who continuously believes in
her students, as well as the educator who strives to make connections with her colleagues
to make a difference in education. I want to be behind that driving force of building a
community of learners of both teachers and students to better facilitate the learning of our
future (see Artifact 5 Revised Stance on Quality Teaching, p. 6).
And to this, I will continue pursuing my own self-discovery and strive to build my selfconfidence and believing that I can and will make a difference.

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References

Boushey, G., & Moser, J. (2009). The CAFE book. Portland, ME: Stenhouse.
Boushey, G., & Moser, J. (2014). The daily 5: Fostering literacy independence in the
elementary grades (2nd ed.). Portland, ME: Stenhouse.
Doyle, L.H., & Doyle, P.M. (2003). Building schools as caring communities: Why, what, and
how? The Clearing House, 76(5), 259-261.
Feiman-Nemser, S. (2001). From preparation to practice: designing a continuum to
strengthen and sustain teaching. Teachers College Record, 103(6), 1013-1055.
Kajitani, A. (2015). How do you know whether youre a teacher leader? Kappa Delta Pi
Record, 51(3), 121-125. doi: 10.1080/00228958.2015.1056663.
Noddings, N. (2009). What can teachers learn from research? Kappa Delta Pi Record, 46(1),
22-25. doi: 10.1080/00228958.2009.10516686.
Roussin, J., & Zimmerman, D.P. (2014). Inspire learning, not dread. Journal of Staff
Development, 35(6), 36-47.