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Depression is Not Sadness.

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Via Erica Leibrandt

on Dec 24, 2015

A Message from Open Sky

Depression is not sadness. It is emptiness.

Depression is not being unhappy, it is being numb.
Yo u

wo n't

It is not anger or desperation or fear or even loneliness (though it is also all of these things.)

beli eve

Depression is not a feeling. It is nothingness. A void where nothing grows or changes, where time does not exist,
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Depression is not a state of mind, it is a place. Its a place we stumble into sometimes unwittingly, a black hole
yawning widely on an otherwise normal day. Once there, as in a corn maze in an unlit night, we can wander
endlessly, perhaps never nding the way out. The black hole becomes seductive, it seeps into our bones, and we
learn that it is us and we are it, and it was the ordinary day that was the ction.

~
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Snap out if it! we say to depressed people, as if our wish that they feel okay, feel normal, really could be enough
to x the problem. Why are you depressed? You have everything in the world going for you! Youre young, youre
beautiful, youre healthy, you have peoplewholove you.
True, comes the mumbled response, and for just a moment, guilt tries to pile in on the nothingness and make it
somethingness, but then it recedes again, sucked back into the hole.
How can I help you? What do you need? we cry out, frustrated. On the other side of depression, action is always
the cure. Take a walk, call a friend, just get up and move!
Feat u r ed Aut h o rs

Alex Myles

Amanda Christmann

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Ashleigh Hitchcock

Brandon Gilbert

Eric Klein

Hilda Carroll

But depression doesnt release its victims so easily. It lays upon them like an enormous leaden x-ray apron,
pressing down, slowing heart rates to a weak thump thump, turning thoughts to formless shadows that sit, as a
stone sits at the bottom of a stagnant, muddy river.
Even if we understand depression, when we are not ourselves in it, the depressed are as astronauts untethered
Jayson Gaddis

Jerry Stocking

from their ship, oating and paralyzed in space, unreachable, lost. How do we cross that gaping void which reaches
out in all directions without losing the way ourselves?
Things that help:
Be with a depressed person in silence. Lay down next to them. You can even read a book silently to yourself. Dont
focus on them, just be there. Let them absorb your energy. Sometimes that is enough.
Dont tell a depressed person what to do. Just say you love them, even when they are in the dark place. Say it

Julie Bernier

Kate Evans

quietly and bravely. Dont get upset if they cant say it back.
Remember for the depressed person, even if they cant remember it themselves (and they probably cant), that
this will not last forever, though it seems as if it will. Do not tell them this, simply sit in knowing.
If the depressed person will allow it, tenderly brush back their hair. If your touch is rejected, try not to take it
personallyit is simply too overwhelming in that moment. Youll get another chance.
Depression is a disease of isolation and paralysisits grip is strong, its nature shy. Like a feral cat, it doesnt
respond well to clumsy intervention. But like such a cat, a patient heart and a steady hand can sometimes be the

Kate Rose

Michelle Sweezey

magic spell that tames it, until the next time night falls.

Relephant:
Rachel Astarte

F*ck You, Depression.

Rebecca Lammersen

The Side of Depression & Anxiety that No

One Talks About.

Ricardo das Neves

Ryan van Duzer

Relephant bonus:

10 Basic Salves for Burn-Out & Everyday Depression.

Sarah Harvey

Waylon Lewis

Theo Horesh

Yoli Ramazzina

Author: Erica Leibrandt

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Editor:Rene Picard
Image:goldilockphotography at Flickr

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About Erica Leibrandt

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Erica Leibrandtis a certied Yoga instructor, Reiki practitioner, vegan cook and mother
to six heathens who masquerade as innocent children. She aims to apply the principles
of Yoga to real life. Between writing, teaching and studying to earn her master's degree
in clinical counseling from Northwestern University, she spends her time being walked
by her dogs and trying to dream up an alternative to doing the laundry. If she
occasionally nds herself with a fried egg on her plate or dancing until dawn, she asks
that you not judge her. Life is short, she knows the chicken that laid the egg and you
can never dance too much. You can connect with Erica onFacebook,TwitterandTumbl
r.
Read more from Erica Leibrandt

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Comments
2Comments

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Addacomment...

SephJDoneganWappingersFalls,NewYork
ThisisprobablythemostaccuratedescriptionofdepressionthatIhaveeverread.People
thinkI'mdownandthatIneedtocheerup,Itellthemthatthereisnodownorup.Thereis
nothingandafteralifetimeofpain,Icanlivewithnothing.Isometimeswonderwhatkindof
worldcanmakeapersonbelievethattheyareamachineasacopingmechanism.Itis
somewherebetweeninsanityandsanity,beingtofargoneandhavingtotalpeaceofmind.
AndthereisnothingelseIcandobutliveit.
LikeReply

2May17,20164:20pm

MargaretLytle
Firsttimeviewer.Thankyouforyouradvice.
LikeReplyJun12,20169:56pm

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Comments (23)

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artemis133 83p 24 weeks ago

+2

Thanks, Erica, for really accurately describing what a depression feels like from the inside. I've experienced
several acute, severe depressions through the years, and even though I'd prefer not to, I have to take
prescription antidepressants to keep it at bay. Without them, the depression comes back to consume me.
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Reply

Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Artemis, As do I. And as much as I hate taking drugs to feel normal, I am grateful that I can. Clinical
depression is hell on earth.
Report

Reply

Evelyn 24 weeks ago

+1

The best explanation of depression I've heard ever... Thanks.

Reply

1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Erica 24 weeks ago

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/12/depressionisnotsadness/

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Thank you.
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Shelley 24 weeks ago

+1

beautifully written.
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Reply

Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Shelley, thank you.

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Reply

Diane Ballum 24 weeks ago

+1

Erica, thank you for your description of depression. I have never heard it described that way, but it hit my heart
as such. I have fought depression for so many years. I too, take meds. to help to make me feel normal. I still
have bouts, but can eventually get myself out of them. I am going to share you article with my younger sister,
so she can better understand what is happening to her, & why others cannot understand. Thank you!
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Reply

Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Diane, I'm really glad you've been able to nd some relief. As you no doubt know, depression is also a family
disease. I'm sure your sister will appreciate your compassion towards her and wish to help.
Report

Reply

kim 24 weeks ago

+1

My depression makes me feel like a ghost just moving in this physical body but lifeless inside. Almost like living
in limbo; another empty realm of a strange existence.
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Reply

Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Yes Kim, that's it exactly.

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Reply

rick 24 weeks ago

+1

Thanks Erica. You know what you're talking about, and write very well. Reading it wont cure me, but it's given
me a better understanding of how things are. Thank you. Rick XX
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

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Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Rick, thank you. Sometimes just understanding the nature of the beast can provide a sense of relief.
Reply

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Guesy 24 weeks ago

e.g. Walter

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+1

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So since I get extended spells
of feeling angry and or sad, maybe it's not really depression? Hmm. Makes sense
since I feel those feelings less and less, the more the things I've been working toward nally come together in
my life.
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Reply

Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Guesy, I'd say that's probably right. I think you can experience anger and sadness as a depressed person, but
not when the depression is acute. Then all emotions seems to drain away and what's left behind is just a
terrible blank. If you don't have that sense occasionally, then what you struggle with might be something
other than depression.
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Lea Ann 24 weeks ago

Thank you for the gift I feel this article is. You have beautifully articulated feelings & thoughts I have been unable
to. Thank you again.
1 reply active 24 weeks ago

Reply

Erica 24 weeks ago

Report
0

Lea Ann, Thank you for reading and letting me know my words meant something to you. I'm sending lots of
love.
Reply
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Julie 22 weeks ago

Unfortunately, you have assumed that those in the grips of depression HAVE someone in their life who will "sit"
with them, "lie" with them, "read" to them etc. That's not a resolution for someone who has no-one in their lives
- other than those saying "Go for a walk", "Get over it" etc. This is not news to them...
Report

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Ben 22 weeks ago

I think this is a little too generalized. Yes depression is feeling numb, but for me, depression is feeling sad too.
Saying that depression is NOT sadness feels like an attempt to invalidate my experience of depression (which I
know it isn't, but hey, irrational brain and all).
As a whole the article is a good read though!
Report

Reply

David 22 weeks ago

I usually don't post on these things but I have to after I read this. I have been mired in a vicious battle with
depression that has been going on 3 1/2 years now. I think I've always had it but this bout is killing me. Meds
and therapy is doing some good but lately I feel like I'm slipping back into the abyss. I have few friends and have
always had a dicult time making them. My story is long and I know others have it worse than me. I'm really
afraid that I'm going to lose this battle with depression hut I don't have a whole lot of ght left in me. Thank you
for your time.
2 replies active 22 weeks ago

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@Sheena_Hatton 22 weeks ago

I'm not sure where you are but please call someone. Samaritans, Lifeline...there are people just a phonecall
away who care and will listen to you. You've opened up here, you can do it again. You matter. All the best x
Report

Reply

Mass 22 weeks ago

David, believe me, you start taking one hour walk in downtown area and just meditate on the thought of
being this awesome universe. See that you are a part of it and this and if this part goes energy less then
whole universe gets eected. We all are a form of this one energy. Today this form and tomorrow some
other form. So just y high without any good or bad feeling. After a month of walk and meditation you will
laugh at the very name of depression.
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Dee 13 weeks ago

This is an amazing description of the black hole some of us fall into. It took me SO long to dig myself out of my
dark place..so many tears..so many numb days...I wasted so many years feelong empty.. it took a long time but
the feeling you get when you nally realize that the sadness you felt was actually depression and that it wasnt
you giving up on life and the endless thoughts quiet down... and you nally see the sun and want to be
productive and you can imagine a future (I'm rambling) but I loved this article... it hit a chord... bottom line. . Imy
happy nally I feel normal ..it takes days months years sometimes but it does get better. .so to anyone who
reads this...from experience I'll tell you ...NEVER GIVE UP. .DONT GIVE UP. .. KEEP DIGGING UNTIL YOU FIND
YOUR WAY OUT...It's worth it...trust.

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Inga 13 weeks ago

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+1

Dear Erica & dear peeps,

Thank you for the article! However, I am trying to nd the way out from the things I am experiencing now..
Maybe any of you have an idea or can share a similar experience? I am not sure which came rst in my case depression or my chronic 24/7 headaches. I have always been sensitive etc, but I would not say I had a pure
depression as such before. However, now I have these continuous headaches and on top I am continuously sick
with a complicated cold. I am seeing a psychotherapist, but I feel I also need/want to do something on my own
to get out of this all. In all the articles how to cope with depression naturally it is written - go meet friends, go
exercise, travel, try to have fun, etc. And I do agree with that! I wanna do that all! I know that would do good for
me. Until now I always helped myself in this way! But how can I do this all when I am experiencing this physical
pain, continuously having a cold and so no energy at all? Exercise - no energy, friends - 100% preoccupied with
my pain, etc etc. Or is it that I am just lying to myself?? I am even not working anymore because of my
headaches. I only see doctors and my four walls in the room. My psychologist says that all my physical
symptoms come from depression that I had/have. But I question if only those sessions with her and not doing
anything on my own are going to help me!? I would be glad, dear people, if anybody of you have any
suggestions to share..
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