How many socialists can you fit on the head of a pin?

None? A Million? The current round of student elections prove that they’re so far detached from
reality that the facts just don’t matter anymore. They demonise the rich and make stupid promises.
Let’s have a look at some of their comment pieces and manifestos to prove how crazy they are.

First off, king of the fools – Ged Colgan, a self proclaimed ‘ Bolshvik’. He’s running for the CIA, sounds
American police force – it’ll probably prepare him for a life on the run once he’s finished smashing
up (Top)shops. His manifesto claims he supports all ‘Srikes.’ Obviously, this is hard to decipher, but
never fear, for I am here (with my Strathman’s Middle-English dictionary). Sri-kes is a term referring
to ‘the company of squires.’ So, if you want a man who supports the company of squires, or has a
total lack of spelling ability, it’d probably be wise to vote for him.

Another continuing theme of this Stulifera Navis is that they are against ‘all cuts,’ ‘all job losses’ and
support ‘all protests.’ Is this not manifestly ridiculous? Surely, they want to cut some things. David
Cameron perhaps? A large bunch of bankers? Michael Arthur’s bloated pay packet? It is this
ideological incoherency which presents itself in the very material they use to campaign with which
renders them a negative force for student politics, particularly for such a large and effective
organisation as LUU.

Another on the anti-cuts platform who wishes to be the community officer proclaims that he is
‘against war’ (and fascism and environmental destruction) Now, I do know the awful effects war has
on community cohesion, having had some experience of it myself. However, this is quite an odd
thing to announce. Firstly because this is an election for a minor role, for a year, in a position with
little actual power. And secondly, I am fairly sure that it is rare to meet someone who is pro war.
They may exist, but they are probably even more imbecilic than those that campaign with the
socialist workers party. Anyway, don’t these positions manifestly contradict each other – unless
these folks want millions of still employed soldiers milling around in far flung army bases and
rehearsing the subtle works of Marx.

For all their ideological incoherency they are completely ideologically driven. They hardly (as nearly
every manifesto claims) appear to want to ‘represent students.’ Their ideology forces them to have
complete disregard for facts

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