General feedback for Module B: Critical Study of Text William Butler Yeats Introductions and conclusions

An introduction should clearly outline your thesis, identify the texts and briefly explain what major poetic devices were used to create the meaning you claim to understand. Many introductions simply regurgitated the question and did not provide an understanding of the kinds of upheaval and change revealed to us through Yeats poetry, or how he conveyed these. Remember that if you state something in the introduction you must follow through with a discussion of it within the body paragraphs. Only state the prominent points and major techniques (repetition is NOT a major technique!) in the introduction. You should not be exemplifying from the poems in your opening paragraph. It is important that you read the question carefully before selecting which poems you will discuss in the extended response. Many boys selected When you are Old. The question asked you to discuss upheaval and change. While there are examples of change in this poem, almost every boy who used it struggled to identify upheaval (although a few referred to Yeats emotional upheaval and his bitterness that subsequently lead to him writing the poem).

Better responses featured Wild Swans at Coole, Second Coming or Easter 1916. Things you could have discussed regarding change and upheaval included: Yeats somewhat isolated in a rapidly changing and more dangerous world (Swans), Political change which caused (and was initiated) by the upheavals of the Irish rebellion (Easter), The end of an era and the uncertainty of the future (Swans) through political upheaval caused by the Great War/Irish rebellion (Second Coming/Easter), The effect of a world disconnected with God and morality (Second Coming), Personal upheaval and a sense of rejection at being left behind (Swans).

You have to explicitly state these aspects of change and upheaval in your thesis. Simply claiming that Yeats writes about change and upheaval is not good enough. Remember that while you may not like the question given to you, you still need to answer that question. It was evident that many boys simply regurgitated their Term 1 Yeats essay on love, time and ageing. You need to be able to identify, select and apply the parts of texts that are relevant to the question. Just writing everything you know will hurt you rather than help you an annotated summary of Yeats poetry is not what the marker is looking for! Additionally, pre-prepared essays will let you down! Do not expect to be able to choose any poem you like. The HSC examiners may easily decide you have to comment on Wild Swans and Second Coming. They may even decide you have to comment on Yeats sense of isolation only within the context of these two poems. So my advice is to know each poem really well and prepare your study notes around individual poems as well as shared themes and ideas between different poems. If a poem is not about love, then dont try and make it about love. It wont work for you!

Analysis and body paragraphs

When you refer to a poem it is important to use inverted commas rather than italics or underlining as you would a film or novel. Poems are often part of an anthology. Therefore, the principal text is the anthology. You would italicise or underline this. Poems should be referred to in the following manner: not Wild Swans at Coole or

Wild Swans at Coole Wild Swans at Coole

Quotation marks () should only be used when actually quoting from a text! Analysis of texts requires substantial preparation and annotation. In order to adequately support your thesis statement it is necessary that you provide multiple examples and extensive discussion of the poems. Many boys simply provide a single example for each point and rounded their paragraph with a grandiose statement that was rarely proven by their example. While the identification and discussion of techniques is important, too many techniques can draw attention away from what you are trying to say. This is particularly true of using

very obscure techniques and by writing such things as metaphor/personification/imagery. Be certain of the technique, its application within the poem and its intended/ascertained effect before including it. Also, you should avoid listing techniques (especially in the introduction). Apply particular techniques to specific ideas within poems. The following examples are for a hypothetical question. Note the structure: What students write: A better way of introducing these techniques:

The main issues in the novel are mans obsession with control, He reveals mans obsession with human ambition being innate and control through biblical allusions the devastating effect human lust and metaphor; he reveals human for power has on individuals and ambition as innate through While techniques serve to highlight intended meaning, your society. The author uses biblical juxtaposition with animals and he focus needs to be on the allusions, metaphors, juxtaposition, interpretation of that meaning in reveals the devastating effect relation and sensory to context. Avoid getting bogged down in a writtenon dissonant language human lust for power has annotation imagery to show this. of the poems. What you have to and is most through individuals say society important! Context is another area most students need to focus on. Module B requires you to connect your interpretation of the poems to Yeats personal and historical context. Many boys simply explained that Yeats was in love with Maud Gonne or that there was a rebellion in Ireland. In order to show depth you need to show strong knowledge of Yeats context and draw upon detailed references when discussing the changes that occur as a result of upheaval (and the upheaval caused by change). Also, for the more adventurous who wish to state what academics or scholars have to say about Yeats, you need to be able to state his or her name and what they have actually said. Vague references will prevent you reaching an A range.

Style and structure of writing

Apostrophe use is an issue for most students. Many had trouble distinguishing between possessive and contraction. In particular, Yeats does not have an apostrophe unless describing his ownership over a feeling, opinion or poem. For example: Yeats view on name. Note the apostrophe comes after his

Spelling was generally sound, although simple errors are still occurring. For example: Beginning (not beggining) Repetition

Effect/Affect (not repition)

It was good to see most students incorporating quotations into their sentences. However, you need to regularly quote and spend time discussing the significance of it to your understanding of Yeats poetry. Some boys simply quoted and then claimed it showed change and upheaval. You need to analyse and give a personal interpretation of the material. Make sure you write formally for extended (essay) responses. Avoid colloquialisms and idioms to express your thoughts. Instead of it had a big effect you could write it had a profound effect

While you should aim to write in a sophisticated fashion, you do not need to make every second word boast 10 syllables! Verbose and convoluted responses detract from your analysis and can actually do more harm than good. Sometimes, the simpler form of expression is best.

Further comment
Regardless of whether a response is graded or not, exam situations provide you with valuable preparation on how to write under timed conditions. This was also one of the last chances of obtaining valuable feedback on a major piece of writing (and the only chance to experience a 2 hour exam for the Modules paper). In the HSC exam you should be aiming to write at least two full booklets and (for higher range responses) even into the third booklet range (8-9 pages). Shorter responses obviously cannot adequately argue and support a thesis. That said, once you have made a point clearly you should move onto another point. While regurgitating the same phrases may pad your essay out, it will not help you gain marks. In fact, it will disadvantage you! (BTS August 1st 2011)